Many Cancer North Node people have had past incarnations in
highly structured monasteries, convents, or other places where they
were participants in strict, community-oriented religious
environments. They were separated from the normal flow of family
interactions. Because of limited experience with interdependence,
dealing with people’s moods, and acceptance of their own and
others’ natural human urges, they lack the instinctive ease of family
relationships that is common to the other nodal groups.
In past lives these folks were trained to repress their feelings,
instincts, sexual urges, and enjoyment of the physical senses.
Abstinence and discipline were foremost, and deprivation of the
joys of being human was rewarded with respect and promotion. In
this incarnation they still tend to put up a wall between themselves
and easy, earthy interaction with others. They are accustomed to
postponing the pleasure of life, and often postponement leads to
permanent denial.
These people have a “lofty goal,” and everything else is put on
the back burner until that goal has been realized. A feeling of
righteousness is attached to this goal, and they do not allow
themselves to be distracted by human temptations. The only
problem is that the goal is perpetual, an endless quest arising from
the subconscious desire to achieve spiritual heights. However,
because the goal is insatiable, these folks end up constantly striving,
with no time for relationships, fun, or really living.
Cancer North Node people have been trained throughout past
incarnations to suppress their “feeling” (that is, emotional)
responses to life to remain focused on the higher purpose they were
serving. But their hearts long to connect with the rest of humankind.
They yearn to belong and experience a sense of family with those
they love—but they feel awkward. They have had so many lifetimes
of disciplined training that they don’t know how to do it—they’re
ashamed to let their feelings out. Their insensitivity to others is a
product of their ingrained insensitivity to their own feelings.
However, in this incarnation, repressing their feelings in the name
of a higher purpose is contrary to the direction their souls need for
completion and fulfillment.
In past lives these folks achieved positions of public authority,
social prominence, and prestige. They were feudal lords, politicians,
businesspeople, and heads of households. Cancer North Node
people functioned as “the boss”; they managed others and took
responsibility for behaving in a way that epitomized social
correctness.
Owing to many incarnations of enjoying the spotlight, they are
still looking for their audience! Respect is important for these folks.
They tend to act from a motive of seeking respect from others. They
make tremendous personal sacrifices, stand for principles they
believe in at the expense of their own personal needs—and still get
no respect. They’re accustomed to being in authority, yet now no
one is following their directions—and they can’t figure it out. They
become frustrated because they don’t understand what is happening,
and over time this can harden their hearts.
In reality, their accomplishments stand on their own merit and are
their own reward. But Cancer North Node people are
subconsciously seeking recognition for the nobility of their
sacrifices. This makes completing any task unnecessarily difficult.
If they simply release the need to “get credit,” they can reach their
goals and enjoy personal pleasure along the way.
This lifetime is simply not scheduled for them to win respect for
making personal sacrifices. When they use respect as a barometer of
whether they are “on path,” they get “off track” every time. In past
lives, respect was a valid indication for them. But they played those
public roles and held positions of authority in so many lifetimes that
they became lonely and isolated: so much responsibility and so little
personal nurturing, over and over again! Now their birth chart is set
up to not allow them to put accomplishment, respect, and honor
above other more personal aspects.
Cancer North Node people need to pay more attention to
organizing their lives in a way that meets personal needs as well as
long-range goals. In this lifetime these folks don’t have to maintain
an image for others. In fact, as they work to reach their goals just
because it makes them happy to do a good job and because the work
fills a public need—whether it’s for their own family or the entire
world—the recognition will be there. But if they go looking for it
directly, it takes them off track.
They are still masters of accomplishment. But if their motive for
accomplishment is to gain the respect of others, they will never be
happy with what they obtain because their need for respect is
insatiable—they never gain enough to be satisfied.
Ironically, the key to satisfaction for these folks is to learn to give
respect rather than demand it. When success in any area comes too
easily, these people tend to become ego centered and carried away
with their own importance. They may become careless and
unwittingly push away the very prize they were so eager to obtain.
It is essential for them to greet success with humble appreciation.
This will slow them down and put them in touch with the energy of
new beginnings. They need to learn to honor this time—the new
relationship, the new job, the new opportunity, the new home—and
to treat the initial stages with tender awareness. This will create a
solid foundation upon which success can be built. Once they slow
themselves down, they are naturally aware of the correct way to do
this.
When Cancer North Node people consciously respect and honor
something beyond themselves (the opportunities life brings, the
people who help them, etc.), a shift in their orientation occurs and
they approach people with a new attitude. They treat them with
care, attention, empathy, and meticulous clarity—creating a
situation that is positive for everyone involved. Rather than seeking
to gain respect, these folks need to orient themselves to giving
respect. If they are able to do this, their lives will shift in a magical,
mutually nurturing way.
For the sake of reaching an important goal, these folks will
sacrifice without complaint. Hard work is not foreign to them. They
are perfectly happy working 12-hour days, foregoing personal
pleasures and postponing relaxation. Moreover, they will personally
see to it that the job gets done successfully, regardless of the effort
required. However, they are used to being in authority, and as a
result they like to delegate details as soon as they are in a position to
do so. It’s not that they look down on “detail” work; they simply
want their attention clear so they can focus on the larger goal.
Cancer North Node people are masters at achieving goals. The
talent is so innate that it is almost subconscious. When they have a
goal in mind, they are continually alert for opportunities. They view
everything as a stepping-stone to the goal. However, if they do not
have a goal that they can commit to, their natural abilities are likely
to degenerate and the goal becomes one of controlling others and
maintaining the status quo.
These folks need to be more clear about what they want to
achieve to keep from subconsciously manipulating others in an
attempt to avoid getting what they don’t want. To do this, their pastlife goal orientation can be used to advantage. For example, if they
are renting out a house and don’t want the rent to be late, they can
tell the tenants what they do want: “I’ll do everything I can to make
your living here enjoyable; the only thing I’m inflexible about is
that the rent must reach me by the first of each month. If I don’t
make the bank payments on the first, we’re all in trouble. So I have
to have the rent payment by the first—is that acceptable to you?”
In job situations, if they don’t want the employees to be late or
slack in their duties, they can make an impression by saying: “Look,
we’re all a team here. If we don’t do a good job, the company won’t
make a profit and we’ll all be out of work. This is the structure
we’re going to follow to make sure we achieve our goals so we all
prosper: Everyone comes to work on time (etc.).”
Because in past lives Cancer North Node people were rewarded
for attaining goals with high social status, in this lifetime they may
have a subconscious desire to choose goals that will bring them
prestige rather than ones that are truly the desires of their own
hearts—and this gets them into trouble. In this lifetime they must
redefine what is truly important to them. Their devotion to purpose
is fine, but not if it’s at the expense of their relationships; otherwise,
when they reach the goal they will not be happy. This is why they
need to put their own needs above “performing” for someone else.
It’s time to release their image. Attempting to gain respect through
“role playing” for others costs them their own satisfaction and
emotional well-being.
In this lifetime, Cancer North Node people tend to take
everything very seriously. Because they have carried the “weight of
the world” in past lives, they come into this incarnation feeling like
they’re shouldering grave responsibilities. They are drawn to people
and situations that trigger their powerful urge to take charge, and
they end up feeling totally responsible for the fates of everyone
around them. Even as children, they often take on the responsibility
for the well-being of one of their parents, usually the mother. They
are born “old and serious”—even taking jokes seriously; usually
only later in life do they realize it might be to their advantage to
“lighten up.”
With their serious demeanor, they inadvertently send out an
energy that causes others to think they are unapproachable. Much of
this is due to past lives in which they were unapproachable, and
they continue to subconsciously project that attitude. Now their
manner makes others see them as aloof, “on top of things,” and not
needing or wanting anything from anyone else. However, once you
get past the “keep away” exterior, you find that they are very
vulnerable and down-to-earth. Unfortunately, the people who could
most deeply appreciate Cancer North Nodes for who they really are
can be “put off” by their cool exterior; sometimes Cancer North
Nodes end up attracting social climbers and less genuine folks who
want to manipulate them. Their deepest longing is to feel close to
others with whom they can relate on a genuine level, so it is to their
advantage to recognize and release the aloof attitudes that keep
others at a distance.
These folks are learning to take life—and themselves—less
seriously, but this is not easy. They are attached to the serious
approach, thinking it will help them to accomplish their goals.
Actually, it may surprise them that they get the job done more easily
when they are not so serious. When they lighten up and take a more
playful, open approach to life, it balances their energy and they
actually become much more effective. Others want to “go along”
with them—and they have a lot more fun!
Owing to past lives of being in authority, Cancer North Node
people are accustomed to taking charge. It was their responsibility
to see that the fields were tilled or that the business was successful,
and others depended on their ability to reach the goal to ensure
everyone’s survival. Therefore, they tend to rise to positions of
authority, see how to achieve the goal, and then delegate tasks to
others without always taking the time to explain the importance of
everyone’s role.
These folks often are so focused on reaching the goal that they
forget that true success is based on more than just running
promotions or bringing in accounts. The people who are helping
them can’t be treated like objects. Cancer North Nodes must take
the time to understand the other person’s situation and forge an
emotional connection. The other person will support their goals if
they have taken the time to show interest in that person. For
example, rather than chastising an employee for being late, it would
be to their advantage to ask what’s going on at home—is something
causing the employee to be repeatedly late? They have to
continuously remember to put themselves in the other person’s
place and treat the other with sensitivity, the way they would like to
be treated themselves.
Cancer North Node people hate to look as if they’re not “on top”
of everything, but they often feel inept at handling emotional upsets.
They discount the importance of feelings, viewing them as a
distraction from getting the job done. When their own moods
interfere with achieving practical results, they judge themselves
harshly. When other people’s problems interfere with getting the job
done, they may judge them harshly as well. This makes them seem
uncaring and makes it difficult for others to relate to them.
Sometimes Cancer North Node people respond to their frustration
at not knowing how to handle people by “blowing up”—which
overpowers and invalidates the feelings of everyone involved.
Others become afraid to be themselves around these folks, because
people never know what might trigger Cancer North Nodes’ anger.
Others “walk on eggshells” until Cancer North Nodes can learn how
to relate to people’s feelings in new ways. These natives are
discovering that all they need do is recognize and acknowledge the
emotional upsets of others, in a caring way, and they will have
healed the problem. Then they can help refocus the other person on
the task at hand.
Cancer North Node people lack consistency in their sensitivity to
feelings—their own and others’: They are either hypersensitive or
utterly insensitive. If they are conscious of emotional rapport with
others on a more consistent basis, they will be less likely to speak or
act in ways that hurt others’ feelings and thus avoid situations that
ultimately hurt their own feelings. They are learning to integrate a
consistent awareness of feelings with the rest of their personality.
Cancer North Node people resist taking suggestions from
anyone—they like to do their own thing. They’re a little bit cocky
because they think they already know everything. To earn their
respect, someone has to come up with something they haven’t
thought of—and that makes a big impression on them. They feel
they have finally found someone who can offer them something.
When they do take a suggestion, it’s when someone who is
successful at something shows them how to do it. They only have
respect for people who are doers—not talkers! This is one reason
they ate such good businesspeople. They are not distracted by
others’ ideas or lured by “get rich quick” schemes; they always look
beneath the surface.
Perhaps because of their past-life religious values, Cancer North
Node people are generally not victimized by greed. Once again, this
makes them good businesspeople because they are not lured by
promises of big returns with little investment. They are practical
and willing to work hard, seeing how to reach the goal step by step.
They have an accurate instinct and an innate talent for organizing
all the pieces of the puzzle to realize the larger goal.
Because these folks are so innately goal oriented, when they face
a challenge they figure out where they want to go with it before
sharing it with anyone else. And they often become fixated on it.
They want to make the decisions, because they are going to accept
full responsibility for the results. It is also difficult for them to
accept help from others because they think others don’t grasp the
whole picture. However, the best managers elicit feedback from
others, factoring everyone’s perspective into the equation before
making a final decision. These natives must remember that no one
sees all the possibilities, and life would be a lot easier if they sought
others’ input before taking action.
Cancer North Node people sometimes have difficulty managing
others. They follow a strong work ethic, and they want others to live
up to it as well. The problem is that by holding up themselves as the
ideal, they don’t bring out the best in other workers. People can
never measure up; these natives are willing to commit “whatever it
takes” to get the job done, and others simply aren’t willing to do
that. Others feel defeated from the beginning—they don’t give their
best because they know they can’t measure up to Cancer North
Nodes’ ideal.
These folks have been in authority in so many incarnations that
they came into this lifetime with a strong instinct to tell everyone
else what to do. They have a very strong sense of rules, discipline,
and goal orientation. For this reason, they frequently end up alone.
“The boss” often does end up alone—it’s “The Buck Stops Here”
philosophy. In past lives, these natives played the role of the boss so
well that they lost touch with their own humanity and a sense of
belonging to the world and with everyone around them. Thus, in
this lifetime, their highest goal is to figure out a way to regain their
connectedness.
To begin to feel connected and to bring out the best in their
employees or co-workers, Cancer North Node people can
experiment with many approaches. Most important, they can try to
be a friend to others in the workplace—soliciting others’ opinions,
becoming interested in their lives, and taking the time to get to
know them on a personal level. It doesn’t seem logical to Cancer
North Nodes, but getting to know their fellow workers will
strengthen their business tremendously. Also, they could give others
“a little slack.” By giving others approval and noticing what they do
well, Cancer North Node people feed others’ positive energy. This
includes acknowledging others’ value and letting them know the job
can’t be done without them. Employees who are treated with
respect are more inclined to listen and follow through when there is
something they need to correct.
Cancer North Node people have an idealistic view of how other
people should perform. If others don’t measure up, rather than
pampering them or coaxing them along, these natives may decide
they don’t want them around—reflecting a “get it done, no excuses”
attitude. They don’t understand that most people don’t operate in
this way. These folks need to develop sensitivity to others’ feelings
—especially at work. They must be aware of their tendency to
ignore feelings because of their own standards of performance,
which are often very rigid. They need to allow people to not live up
to those ideals; they are learning that others have their own methods
of operation.
Sometimes, reacting to their frustration of not knowing how to
stay in control of a situation, these folks become angry and walk
out. Later, after thinking about it, they usually come back to make
amends. They may apologize in some way: “I know I get shortfused, but once I get it out I’m through with it.” Or they may try to
make it up in some other way. It is healthy and valid for these folks
to apologize when they have made a mistake or run roughshod over
others’ feelings. Making apologies is healthy because it gives them
a new sense of humility and relatedness, and it gives others the
insight that these folks aren’t made of iron and can make mistakes.
This endears Cancer North Node to others, so any excuse for a
sincere apology is a good one!
Cancer North Node people have had lifetimes of assuming
“ultimate responsibility” for getting the job done—so in this
lifetime they must let others be responsible and have the experience
of management. One way to accomplish this is by taking on the role
of the person who has the need (which is a learning experience for
Cancer North Nodes), presenting tasks as problems they need help
with.
When they take a “My Way or the Highway” approach, it’s
because they don’t really know how to find a middle road. They
feel awkward. They don’t know how to elicit a positive response.
Because they already know all about goal orientation and goal
achievement, in this incarnation they are learning to convey that
knowledge in ways that empower others. Through this process their
greatest happiness—and their own goals—are achieved.
Regardless of their role (boss, lover, employee, friend, etc.),
Cancer North Node people are highly dependable—they always
keep their word. They pride themselves on an unwavering devotion
to taking responsibility and keeping commitments. However, in this
incarnation, attachment to commitments can be carried to extremes.
These natives make commitments when they are not even necessary
and hold on to them even when it is no longer appropriate. They
may sacrifice taking care of themselves and discount their own need
for security simply for the sake of honoring a commitment.
For example, if they have agreed to attend a certain event, they
are likely to show up even if they don’t feel well and going out
worsens their condition. Or they may remain in a destructive
marriage rather than choose a nurturing relationship because the
marriage was their original commitment. Their word is their bond,
and they don’t understand when other people don’t manifest the
same value. Thus, they are often afraid to make agreements with
other people, for fear that they will be trapped once they have given
their word.
The idea of standing behind their word is valid, but attachment to
that idea may put them out of touch with their instincts and the
natural Flow that brings experiences that are emotionally satisfying
and promote their personal growth. Cancer North Node people must
not postpone pleasure for the sake of commitment. When the two
appear to be at odds with each other, they must rethink the situation,
deciding what is most important for them to experience. Ironically,
when these folks follow their instincts and go for what they truly
want, the situation ultimately works out better for the other people
as well.