Cancer North Node people have tremendous integrity from past
lives. They need to hold on to this honesty in terms of revealing
their inner process and letting others know how they feel. Owing to
many incarnations playing a prominent role in society and being on
display, these folks are used to “being someone”—pretending to
“have it all together” in order to fill a social need. However, in this
lifetime their feelings are so strong that they demand recognition.
They may seem cold or businesslike to others, but this is because
they are subconsciously trying to deny their feelings in order to
appear “on top of things.” By now, blocking their feelings is
automatic; but to be happy in this incarnation, they must reprogram
that response.
One way to accomplish this is to slow down and take time to
listen to themselves. Generally, when they feel something they
ignore it or act directly against it. Now they need to deliberately
retrain themselves. The idea is not to be pressed into
communicating feelings immediately, but to take enough time to let
the feeling come and then to communicate it. This is new for
Cancer North Node people—like learning to walk or talk—so they
need to be patient. As they experiment, they’ll find the people
around them magically supporting their new behavior. It stimulates
others and brings more closeness to their relationships, creating true
intimacy rather than shallow, long-term connections.
Owing to many past lifetimes of being rewarded for suppressing
their feelings, Cancer North Node people tend to perceive feelings
as a weakness. But feelings have nothing to do with being weak;
they simply reflect a reaction in the body. Can Cancer North Nodes
say: “Because I’m incredibly happy, I’m weak”? No; it’s just
another feeling.
Instincts will never lead these folks astray. Often their emotional
responses promote unity in their interactions or are an accurate
prophecy of times to come. Cancer North Nodes’ fear is that they’re
not in control—they might be wrong. But they shouldn’t let that
fear stop them. They have to say: “This is what I’m perceiving right
now; this is what I’m feeling.” Their instincts are always correct.
It’s also “good karma” when they allow themselves to show
emotion publicly. For these people, emotion is positive and healing;
when they let their feelings show, it endears them to others and
often heals the situation for all concerned.
Cancer North Node people have an instinct for achievement, so
they can use it to their advantage by making their goal the thing that
challenges them the most: honest disclosure of their feelings, fears,
and vulnerabilities. They must learn to do this in order to create a
bond of empathy with others. If at first they are too shy to let
someone know how they feel, they can begin by writing a letter. Or,
if at the decisive moment they suddenly “forget” what they wanted
to say, they can write notes to prompt their memory.
Their aim must be honest communication of their “feeling”
responses in a responsible, nonblaming way. For example: “When
you didn’t keep your promise and call me yesterday, I felt insecure
and frustrated—I had turned down another invitation because I told
you I would wait for your call.” These folks need to communicate
the facts of what happened and then relay the feelings they
experienced in response to those facts. Then they need to stop
talking and give the other person an opportunity to respond. They
must slow down the process and give the interaction an appropriate
beginning—a space in which two people can tune in to each other—
rather than immediately focusing on results.
Often Cancer North Node people are annoyed that they always
have to be the strong ones—the ones others rely on for help. They
may be resentful because they have no one to turn to for advice in
their own times of need. To allow themselves to always be “on top”
becomes an ego trip that makes them feel separate from others. The
key is to allow themselves to be helped, as well as helping others.
However, when they do accept help, it’s usually in a dramatic
way: “Okay—I would like to use your car today, but don’t worry—
I’ll have it back to you in exactly two hours, not a moment later!”
Subsequently they overemphasize how responsible they were in
getting the car back, rather than accepting and appreciating the
other person’s support. They are learning to accept help and caring
from others with thankfulness and love. They are learning that
interdependence is not a form of weakness but, rather, that it
promotes a sense of belonging with others that adds depth to their
lives.
If these folks don’t reveal their insecurities, they deprive others
of the opportunity to support them and give back to them. Only
when they communicate their fears and feelings of inadequacy do
others become aware of their needs. Then people have the
opportunity to help them, take care of them, and pamper them—all
valid experiences for Cancer North Nodes in this lifetime. For many
other nodal groups, being taken care of would be an ego trip. But
for Cancer North Nodes it is actually more of an ego trip to not
allow it. Changing this is a healthy experience of humility and an
exchange of energy that is empowering for all concerned.
In accepting help, Cancer North Node people may feel uneasy
because they think they are not being completely responsible.
Actually, by including other people and allowing them to help, they
validate the worth of the other person. Once they learn that people
like to help, their entire worldview will change.
Cancer North Node people have had so much past-life
experience in reaching goals that this lifetime often becomes a
series of achieving one goal after another, without experiencing the
joy of the process. No matter how much they attain, it isn’t
satisfying. They are overachievers, postponing appreciation of the
moment and the abundance around them in lieu of striving to reach
the next goal.
In past lives they achieved maximum success, so it is not set up
in this lifetime for them to find happiness through reaching goals.
Now the process is important; happiness will come through the
enjoyment of getting there. They must pay more attention to
beginnings, nurturing things and seeing them grow. They still may
reach goals that are far beyond the accomplishments of others, but
they will have done it in the right way—in a way that was fun and
nurturing for themselves and for those around them.
This is not an “ends justifies the means” lifetime for Cancer
North Node people. To feel secure, they need to stay in touch with
process rather than striving to reach the goal. This will also prevent
them from inadvertently abusing, exploiting, or hurting people
emotionally. There still may be times when the instinct for control
sets in and they try to manage their lives from their minds, but they
need to remember how much pain it causes.
Cancer North Nodes’ tendency to sacrifice the process for the end
result also leads to a lack of energy, vitality, and personal
enjoyment. For example, rather than focusing on the goal of having
a successful marriage, they should focus on the process of creating a
successful marriage. They need to take rime to notice whether their
partner is enjoying the relationship. The goal may be to have a
mutually supportive, happy marriage through the means of
revealing feelings and creating closeness, with each partner letting
the other see who they really are. Then the end result (a successful
marriage) is the natural outcome of their day-to-day process.
They are learning that if they take care of the little things, the big
things will take care of themselves. Others may not understand their
preoccupation with integrity in each step of the process (others may
be learning about achieving long-range goals), but Cancer North
Nodes, who are masters at worldly achievement, must be true to
themselves and to their process. When they take care of the “little
things” (for example, honest communication of feelings; awareness
of others’ feelings; staying emotionally connected with the
situation; proceeding one step at a time in a caring way), they are
truly on the path of Right Action.
Cancer North Node people must remain aware of the fact that
whether or not what they are doing is understood, validated, or
respected by others, they are spiritually correct. Only they know
how difficult it is for themselves to be vulnerable; when they are
true to themselves in this way they gain self-respect regardless of
others’ opinions. This fosters a new strength that brings them an
incredible, calm courage in dealing with worldly life. When they
maintain integrity in their process, what they accomplish will be
emotionally satisfying far beyond their expectations.
Because Cancer North Node people have such ability to attain
goals, it’s important that they distinguish between their own goals
and those imposed by society or early environmental conditioning.
Their goals make them happy through the process itself. One goal
that will help replace frustration with happiness is to recognize that
“a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”—to learn to appreciate
what life has already brought. Their subconscious goal orientation
always prompts them to seek satisfaction in “the next thing”; as a
result, they don’t enjoy the bounty they already have. When they
consciously recognize and appreciate what they have, it provides
energy for further achievement in a balanced way.
Another goal that can bring deep satisfaction to Cancer North
Node people is to focus on achieving emotional connectedness and
intimacy in relationships. This empowers them to slow down their
process and keep their awareness on themselves and the other
person. It means maintaining awareness of the importance of
feelings as part of the fullness of life.
One way they can do this (which will also bring greater security
in unfamiliar situations) is to focus on shifting the center of energy
in their bodies. Cancer North Node people usually keep their vital
energy centered from the shoulders up to the top of their heads—
they are “top heavy” and lack a sense of inner substance. These
folks need to bring the energy down into their lower abdomen (the
area below the belly button). Walking through the day with an
awareness of the power center within will make their sense of value
an internal, quiet factor that is sustaining, nurturing, and complete
within themselves, regardless of others’ opinions. When they move
the energy down to the lower abdomen, centering occurs and their
hearts begin to open.
This allows them to learn an entirely new way of responding to
the emotional frustrations of others. They have always felt
uncomfortable with negative emotions and at a loss to comfort the
other person. Their first response has been to ignore or suppress the
feelings and go right for the goal of resolution—so the person will
be back “on top” of things. But the magic is that if they make their
goal to validate what the other person is feeling, to acknowledge the
emotion and empathize, then they will see the appropriate response
that will actually support the other person and deepen the bond
between them.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position who was
dating a man she liked very much. They both lived in New York,
where there was a lot of social activity. He once called her in a state
of boredom and frustration while on a business trip to Minneapolis.
She didn’t know what to say to cheer him up, and it was a short
conversation. What she might have said in response to his
restlessness was: “I’m sorry to hear that.” Immediately—as soon as
these natives validate and empathize with the other person’s
feelings, the right thing to say occurs to them. In this instance, it
might have been: “Maybe I should fly right out and join you for the
weekend.” In this case, the response would have created a win/win
situation. But these folks will never know the “right thing” to say in
emotional situations until they first acknowledge and validate the
feelings that others share.
Cancer North Node people are learning how to communicate
with others in ways that are comforting and supportive. They must
learn to give people the benefit of the doubt, thereby bringing out
the best in them. For example, I had a Cancer North Node client
who was part owner of a large restaurant in the Southwest. His chief
chef turned out to be an alcohol abuser (which wasn’t apparent
when he was hired), and after several months on the job the cook
ended up in jail for three days. Following his release, the cook
returned to the restaurant. Good chefs were hard to come by, and
my client needed him. The other owner greeted him
enthusiastically: “Hey, John—nice to have you home!” But my
client was aloof. As long as he was going to take him back, why not
make the cook feel valued? These folks are working on
acknowledging when they need someone.
Cancer North Node people are so innately aware of how to
accomplish their goals in the material world (what it takes, how the
world works, how business works) that they often assume others
have the same knowledge. But there is no other nodal group with as
great an awareness of how to accomplish a goal, no matter how
lofty. One of Cancer North Nodes’ purposes on the planet in this
lifetime is to teach others how to attain goals.
With their lifetimes of experience in this area, these natives
immediately notice when others are subconsciously sabotaging
themselves, indulging in counterproductive behavior, or allowing
themselves to be distracted by lesser concerns. They also see clearly
how the problems can be resolved—how others can position
themselves to reach their goal. When they see another person’s
needs, they can use their innate practicality to help make that
person’s dream come true.
When Cancer North Node people see someone acting in ways
that are counterproductive, rather than “punishing them” their job is
to teach them in a nurturing way how to reach their goals. One of
the best ways these folks can participate with others is to help them
identify their goals, and then encourage them to “go for it.” When
they ate sensitive to others’ needs in this way, they shift from a
“dictator father” role to a “nurturing mother” role and can reach
people far more effectively. When they are more understanding and
supportive, their confidence brings out the best in the others.
In the example of the chef, my client could have taken the time to
get to know him better. Why was he a chef? What did he want to
accomplish? What did he want to gain by working at that particular
restaurant? If the chef’s motive was to make a good living for his
wife and child, and his reason for being at that restaurant was to
build a good reputation, my client would have known how to
motivate him in a supportive way.
Patience is another attribute that Cancer North Node people are
cultivating. Their job is to teach by demonstrating—cheering the
other person on. They are such master achievers from past lives that
when they take on the role of an understanding teacher, others
listen.
Owing to past-life suppression of personal feelings, the
“feeling” nature in Cancer North Node people has become purified.
There is no “hidden agenda”; their emotions are an innocent, natural
response. Quite often when they express themselves, everyone else
heaves a sigh of relief. Their “feeling” nature is quite open, and
often they “pick up” the feelings of those around them. This is why
it is healthy to share their feelings in a responsible way: “I’m
feeling uneasy in this situation”; “I felt uncomfortable when you
said that—it didn’t feel like a fair response that took everyone’s
needs into account.” When they risk verbalizing their feelings,
everyone is healed and released from emotional inhibition. In group
situations, others may come up to them and say: “I’m so glad you
said that! That’s exactly what I was feeling, but I didn’t know how
to verbalize it.” When that happens, it’s the universe validating that
they are “on path”—that responsibly verbalizing their feelings in a
nonblaming way was exactly the ingredient needed to clear the way
for their goal to be reached.,
In disavowing their emotional bodies in past lives, Cancer North
Node people disconnected themselves from the advantages of being
human. In some ways, they may not even feel part of the human
race. They understand purpose, accomplishment, responsibility—
but for what? Where is the reward—the true value—in the
experience of being human? It is in the nurturing and delicate
feelings one experiences from the emotional self. Every outer
experience is empty without the inner emotional charge that results
from it. And to share those feelings with another is the most
exhilarating and exquisite of experiences.
In dissociating from their feelings, these folks are missing the
contentment and sense of belonging that are inherent in recognizing
—and claiming—an emotional connectedness with humankind.
They have earned the right to claim the benefits and pleasures of
being part of the human family, rather than being responsible for it.
It is perfectly appropriate for them to slow down and reap the most
nurturing reward of having a human body: the experience of
feeling.