These folks can be selfish. They can act impulsively and with
total disregard for others’ situations. They tend to take over
unexpectedly when their goals aren’t being met quickly enough.
They are prone to acting on their assumptions without checking in
to find out what is going on with the other person. Even though
their motive may be to promote the best interest of everyone
involved, others feel stripped of power and resentful because they
weren’t part of the process. Trust—a key issue for these folks—is
undermined on both sides in the relationship.
Although checking in with a partner is an easy resolution for
many obstacles, these folks fear doing it. A part of them thinks: “If I
check in, they’ll think I don’t trust them.” Actually, it’s not checking
in that leaves the other person questioning their trust, and once
again, Libra North Node people end up feeling isolated,
misunderstood, and unappreciated.
For example, I have a client with this nodal position who is in the
restaurant business. In the typical warrior “chain of command”
approach, he gave his manager the instruction: “There’s a special
party coming in, I want the table set up by 7:00.” At 6:40, the table
was not set up and the people started to arrive. My client thought:
“Oh my God! He’s not going to have it done!” So he set the whole
thing up himself. He was shocked and angry when the manager
approached him later and instead of thanking him, said: “You didn’t
trust me.” The old warrior had forced a result without considering
the timing and feelings of the other person.
These folks need to take the time to communicate instead of
forcing their way. My client could have said to his manager: “Stan,
I’m a little worried that this table isn’t ready. Is everything okay, or
can I do something to help you?” By checking in with the manager,
he could have assured himself that the job would get done and
created the bond of teamwork that these people so desperately need.
When they take the time to access it, these folks have a rare gift for
diplomacy that can create tremendous affection on both sides, while
at the same time accomplishing the goal.
Libra North Node people need to relate with the other person in
the process of giving orders. It is not enough for them to simply
“state the facts”; the other person needs to gain a sense of their
power in the situation. These folks must explain why the orders are
important in the context of the overall situation and impart their
confidence that the other person can do the job successfully. Libra
North Node people think they’ve made the instructions so simple
that anyone could do it, but the truth is that what would be easy for
them might be a very difficult assignment for others.
Before giving the orders, these folks should also notice how the
other person is feeling. For example, if the other person is already
flustered, getting more orders might push him or her over the edge.
Their best bet is to acknowledge the other person, emotional
frailties and all, before giving the orders. Taking the time to
establish a solid base for the relationship makes carrying out the
orders joyous for the other person and is added insurance that the
job will be done correctly.
Another good approach—especially in goal-oriented situations—
is to say: “This is where we’re going, this is how I want it done . . .
but how would you do it? If you have a different idea, please let me
know.”
Libra North Node people find it difficult to fit freedom and
creativity into their lives. They like things to be direct and orderly,
and it can be hard for them to go with the flow. Other areas of
conflict can stem from the fact that these folks like to “test the
fates.” On some level they believe: “I’m the center of the world!
Nothing can touch me!” And generally they don’t get hurt, even in
high-risk situations. This unique style of operation works for them.
The problem comes when they decide that other people should have
the same approach. “Just press through your limitations” is their
recommendation. But what works for them is not necessarily going
to work for another person. Their job is to support the other person
in reaching his or her own goals, taking into account that person’s
unique style.
Consistently, the solution for these people is partnership. Even
in reaching personal goals, their success is ensured if they approach
that goal with a partner. For example, if a Libra North Node person
is having an impossible time losing 20 pounds, his best bet is to find
a friend with the same problem and lose the weight together. In the
process of helping the other person stick to the diet or exercise
program, the weight will simultaneously start dropping off the Libra
North Node person. The same holds true for any personal goal he is
having difficulty reaching: If he finds another person to do it with,
both will win.
These people have the ability to “transplant” courage into others,
giving them confidence to take the initiative and do things that—
without their help—the other person never would have attempted.
They have the ability to validate others’ identity with so much
confidence that others start to believe in themselves. They are great
successes as business consultants, psychologists, teachers, coaches,
or any other role that brings out confidence and courage in others.
However, Libra North Node people need to be certain there is no
selfish motive involved, or the process will backfire. Thus, the
ability to be objective is essential: They need to discern the other
person’s goals.
Libra North Node people need to develop their capacity to be
vulnerable. They are learning to be sensitive to others: open to
others’ feelings and perspectives. They are learning to allow others
to experience them: sharing their feelings and fears. These folks
have strong defenses against being vulnerable. Their strong
programming says: “Never let anyone know your weaknesses.” But
they are learning that there is great strength in vulnerability—
indeed, the best warrior is one who knows when to fight and when
to make peace. But if they don’t check in with the other person,
they won’t know which is which.
For their relationships to work on a lasting level, they also need
to learn how to become more intimate. Intimacy is a by-product of
being more sensitive to the other person’s insecurities and more
open to revealing their own vulnerabilities. When they are more
intimate, they are able to grow. But when they don’t become more
intimate, they remain unapproachable and inaccessible.
When they are hurting, Libra North Node people’s first instinct is
to pull back and not let others know they have been affected. In this
lifetime they are learning the value of opening up and allowing
others to take care of them. In sharing their vulnerability, what they
were originally ashamed of becomes something they can celebrate,
and they find themselves bonding with others in an authentic way.
Now they can allow others to know them—rather than the image
they project. These people have innate honesty, courage, and
directness. It can be a leap forward in self-discovery when they
allow themselves to be vulnerable with others.
Libra North Node people are afraid that if they expose their
vulnerability—if they don’t have it “all together”—they’re going to
lose the people they want to impress. Instead, exposing their
vulnerability endears them to others. Further, it helps others know
how to support them and give them confidence. They include the
other person in their lives on a deeper level and feel accepted by
that person at the same time. The old feelings of isolation melt
away.
When these folks allow others to share their fears, their innate
courage inspires everyone to make deeper connections. They find
that others have been through similar situations and made even
more drastic mistakes. Making mistakes, learning, and growing is
part of being human—quite different from the “war machine” Libra
North Nodes experienced in past lives. For these folks, pulling
down the wall between themselves and others can be like a warrior
putting down his shield—it’s scary. But to be fulfilled, they must be
willing to set that shield aside and be vulnerable.
TEAMWORK
Libra North Node people don’t have a sense of teamwork.
They’ve had no past life experience with it. As warriors, they take
on the entire job themselves. They become annoyed with others
who want to share the responsibility. They want to manage the job
on their own because they’re afraid the other person will “mess
up”—and they won’t attain their goal because someone else didn’t
do their part. Also, they have no patience for somebody taking two
or three days to do what they can do in one day—and better!
Yet in this lifetime they are not here to do the job by themselves
—they already know they can do that. They have tremendous
confidence in achieving short-range goals. But now, when they do
reach a goal on their own, they don’t feel the happiness they
expected. In this lifetime, their job is to accomplish their own goals
within the context of a team effort while transferring confidence to
other people who need it.
Thus, in working with a team of six other people, they need to
remember that there are seven of them. Libra North Node people
have an incredible ability to empower others and can see in those
six people where each one needs confidence. They welcome the
“glitches” that highlight where others lack confidence because it
shows them where they can “boost” others, making themselves an
invaluable and beloved part of the team.
They always need to first consider what’s best for the team. It
doesn’t work for team members to fall out of communication; it
works for them to go out of their way to stay in touch with one
another to foster positive feelings of interdependence. To this end,
each member must be willing to express his or her needs objectively
—not as a resentment or a “tit for tat,” but as a means to empower
one another in partnership by being open about his or her needs. It’s
another way of being vulnerable.
For Libra North Node people, the strong parts of their identity
are the qualities they bring to benefit their relationships. The other
person brings different gifts that may be exactly what the native
needs. Through the partnership, these folks find their balance with
others and can access parts of themselves that would otherwise be
inaccessible. With a partner, life is no longer drudgery but a positive
exchange of energy that makes self-discovery and self-actualization
a lighter, happier process for both people.
Since the other person is bringing qualities to the relationship that
the Libra North Node person may lack, it behooves Libra North
Node to see objectively who the other person actually is, what that
person is offering, what talents and qualities he brings to enhance
the team. He may not bring confidence or initiative, but perhaps he
brings the gift of emotional sensitivrty and nurturing, or playfulness
and fun, or seeing life as an adventure, or compassionate
forgiveness. If Libra North Node can understand what the other
person is bringing, she can be more open to accepting and being
energized by the gift.
What Libra North Node people truly want is to unite with
someone else and empower that person’s dreams and plans. Thus, it
is their responsibility to carefully discern the details of what the
other person is seeking so they can discover if it resonates within
their own soul. These folks are learning to recognize that their
personal survival is based on doing what’s best for the relationship.
As they take care of their partner with a whole heart, they finally
begin to experience joy and fulfillment.
These people are tremendous fighters from past lifetimes and
are accustomed to the energy of combat. In relationships, they may
actually provoke fighting simply because they are used to the
energy. They want to win at all costs and thus sometimes push away
the very relationships that are most dear to them. They fight when
there is no need to fight and often end up losing in the end. Their
relationship can become a contest of “your needs versus my needs”
if they view it as two separate individuals, rather than recognizing
that a partnership is actually an entity itself. In fact, the very thing
that makes the partnership strong actually feeds both people
involved.
They need to learn to put the goal of the relationship ahead of
their impulse for conquest. They are much more likely to attain
what they want through diplomacy, tact, and consideration of the
other person’s position. But these folks are also learning not to use
diplomacy to manipulate (that is, making something seem “fair” to
the other person just to get their way). They are discovering the
value of being a true diplomat: listening to the other person and
sharing their own point of view to see if they can reach a
compromise. This will satisfy both parties in a lasting way.
Libra North Node people are also learning to consider how to
express their impulses. They must weigh what they want to say and
the actions they are considering taking, and think about the effect on
other people. They are learning to think before speaking.
Libra North Node people are the natural peacemakers of the
zodiac. They have a talent to clearly see both sides of a situation or
conflict and effectively communicate person A’s position to person
B, and vice versa. Harmony is established through objective
understanding of the other’s position. This ability qualifies them as
marriage and family counselors—or any role that requires balancing
two different points of view, including diplomacy. As a side benefit,
when Libra North Node people help others become objective, they
enhance their own ability to respect the identity of others. They
exercise the muscle in their psyche that helps them find personal
balance, peace, and happiness.
These folks have the talent to make a relationship work
successfully with rapport, understanding, teamwork, and
satisfaction. When they remember to exercise that talent, they
almost always create a win/win situation. For example, a Libra
North Node man may love to ride fast motorcycles. He has a wife
and three small children, and his wife worries about the risks he
takes. Rather than understand her point of view, he becomes angry,
feels his independence is being threatened, and throws a temper
tantrum (a “me versus you” mentality). The issue becomes an
“impasse” in the relationship. Over a few years, the situation
becomes one of many impasses in which there is no reciprocal
communication, and thus no resolution. The couple drifts apart and
the marriage is over (emotionally, if not physically).
Let’s look at a win/win alternative. The first time that his wife
voiced concern about his motorcycle, the Libra North Node man
could have taken a deep breath and sat down to talk with her. He
could have asked her questions to find out exactly what she was
concerned about. Just the fact that he took the time to sit down with
her and wanted to know her point of view would have created an
atmosphere of rapport, caring, and support. Once he understood her
concerns, they would have had the opportunity to work out a
resolution.
The key is in finding a resolution together—after all, this is not a
“do it yourself” lifetime for Libra North Node people. If the wife
feared he might have a fatal accident and she would be left with the
financial responsibility for their three children, perhaps they could
take out a hefty life insurance policy that would give her a greater
sense of security and allow her to support him in the joy of riding
his motorcycle. They have the innate ability to face things head-on.
They must develop a willingness to understand their partners’
concerns and work with them to turn each challenge into a win/win
situation.