I labored to pull myself up despite the dizziness. I realized it was Jacob’s arm I was gripping for balance. He was the one shaking, not the couch.
Alice was pulling a small silver phone from her bag when my eyes relocated her. Her fingers dialed the numbers so fast they were a blur.
“Rose, I need to talk to Carlisle now.” Her voice whipped through the words. “Fine, as soon as he’s back. No, I’ll be on a plane. Look, have you heard anything from Edward?”
Alice paused now, listening with an expression that grew more appalled every second. Her mouth opened into a little O of horror, and the phone shook in her hand.
“Why?” she gasped. “Why would you do that, Rosalie?”
Whatever the answer was, it made her jaw tighten in anger. Her eyes flashed and narrowed.
“Well, you’re wrong on both counts, though, Rosalie, so that would be a problem, don’t you think?” she asked acidly. “Yes, that’s right. She’s absolutely fine—I was wrong….It’s a long story….But you’re wrong about that part, too, that’s why I’m calling….Yes, that’s exactly what I saw.”
Alice’s voice was very hard and her lips were pulled back from her teeth. “It’s a bit late for that, Rose. Save your remorse for someone who believes it.” Alice snapped the phone shut with a sharp twist of her fingers.
Her eyes were tortured as she turned to face me.
“Alice,” I blurted out quickly. I couldn’t let her speak yet. I needed a few more seconds before she spoke and her words destroyed what was left of my life. “Alice, Carlisle is back, though. He called just before….”
She stared at me blankly. “How long ago?” she asked in a hollow voice.
“Half a minute before you showed up.”
“What did he say?” She really focused now, waiting for my answer.
“I didn’t talk to him.” My eyes flickered to Jacob.
Alice turned her penetrating gaze on him. He flinched, but held his place next to me. He sat awkwardly, almost as if he were trying to shield me with his body.
“He asked for Charlie, and I told him Charlie wasn’t here,” Jacob muttered resentfully.
“Is that everything?” Alice demanded, her voice like ice.
“Then he hung up on me,” Jacob spit back. A tremor rolled down his spine, shaking me with it.
“You told him Charlie was at the funeral,” I reminded him.
Alice jerked her head back toward me. “What were his exact words?”
“He said, ‘He’s not here,’ and when Carlisle asked where Charlie was, Jacob said, ‘At the funeral.’”
Alice moaned and sank to her knees.
“Tell me Alice,” I whispered.
“That wasn’t Carlisle on the phone,” she said hopelessly.
“Are you calling me a liar?” Jacob snarled from beside me.
Alice ignored him, focusing on my bewildered face.
“It was Edward.” The words were just a choked whisper. “He thinks you’re dead.”
My mind started to work again. These words weren’t the ones I’d been afraid of, and the relief cleared my head.
“Rosalie told him I killed myself, didn’t she?” I said, sighing as I relaxed.
“Yes,” Alice admitted, her eyes flashing hard again. “In her defense, she did believe it. They rely on my sight far too much for something that works so imperfectly. But for her to track him down to tell him this! Didn’t she realize…or care…?” Her voice faded away in horror.
“And when Edward called here, he thought Jacob meant my funeral,” I realized. It stung to know how close I’d been, just inches away from his voice. My nails dug into Jacob’s arm, but he didn’t flinch.
Alice looked at me strangely. “You’re not upset,” she whispered.
“Well, it’s really rotten timing, but it will all get straightened out. The next time he calls, someone will tell him…what…really . . .” I trailed off. Her gaze strangled the words in my throat.
Why was she so panicked? Why was her face twisting now with pity and horror? What was it she had said to Rosalie on the phone just now? Something about what she’d seen…and Rosalie’s remorse; Rosalie would never feel remorse for anything that happened to me. But if she’d hurt her family, hurt her brother…
“Bella,” Alice whispered. “Edward won’t call again. He believed her.”
“I. Don’t. Understand.” My mouth framed each word in silence. I couldn’t push the air out to actually say the words that would make her explain what that meant.
“He’s going to Italy.”
It took the length of one heartbeat for me to comprehend.
When Edward’s voice came back to me now, it was not the perfect imitation of my delusions. It was just the weak, flat tone of my memories. But the words alone were enough to shred through my chest and leave it gaping open. Words from a time when I would have bet everything that I owned or could borrow on that fact that he loved me.
Well, I wasn’t going to live without you, he’d said as we watched Romeo and Juliet die, here in this very room. But I wasn’t sure how to do it….I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help….so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi….You don’t irritate them. Not unless you want to die.
Not unless you want to die.
“NO!” The half-shrieked denial was so loud after the whispered words, it made us all jump. I felt the blood rushing to my face as I realized what she’d seen. “No! No, no, no! He can’t! He can’t do that!”
“He made up his mind as soon as your friend confirmed that it was too late to save you.”
“But he…he left! He didn’t want me anymore! What difference does it make now? He knew I would die sometime!”
“I don’t think he ever planned to outlive you by long,” Alice said quietly.
“How dare he!” I screamed. I was on my feet now, and Jacob rose uncertainly to put himself between Alice and me again.
“Oh, get out of the way, Jacob!” I elbowed my way around his trembling body with desperate impatience. “What do we do?” I begged Alice. There had to be something. “Can’t we call him? Can Carlisle?”
She was shaking her head. “That was the first thing I tried. He left his phone in a trash can in Rio—someone answered it…,” she whispered.
“You said before we had to hurry. Hurry how? Let’s do it, whatever it is!”
“Bella, I—I don’t think I can ask you to . . .” She trailed off in indecision.
“Ask me!” I commanded.
She put her hands on my shoulders, holding me in place, her fingers flexing sporadically to emphasize her words. “We may already be too late. I saw him going to the Volturi…and asking to die.” We both cringed, and my eyes were suddenly blind. I blinked feverishly at the tears. “It all depends on what they choose. I can’t see that till they make a decision.
“But if they say no, and they might—Aro is fond of Carlisle, and wouldn’t want to offend him—Edward has a backup plan. They’re very protective of their city. If Edward does something to upset the peace, he thinks they’ll act to stop him. And he’s right. They will.”
I stared at her with my jaw clenched in frustration. I’d heard nothing yet that would explain why we were still standing here.
“So if they agree to grant his favor, we’re too late. If they say no, and he comes up with a plan to offend them quickly enough, we’re too late. If he gives into his more theatrical tendencies…we might have time.”
“Let’s go!”
“Listen, Bella! Whether we are in time or not, we will be in the heart of the Volturi city. I will be considered his accomplice if he is successful. You will be a human who not only knows too much, but also smells too good. There’s a very good chance that they will eliminate us all—though in your case it won’t be punishment so much as dinnertime.”
“This is what’s keeping us here?” I asked in disbelief. “I’ll go alone if you’re afraid.” I mentally tabulated what money was left in my account, and wondered if Alice would lend me the rest.
“I’m only afraid of getting you killed.”
I snorted in disgust. “I almost get myself killed on a daily basis! Tell me what I need to do!”
“You write a note to Charlie. I’ll call the airlines.”
“Charlie,” I gasped.
Not that my presence was protecting him, but could I leave him here alone to face…
“I’m not going to let anything happen to Charlie.” Jacob’s low voice was gruff and angry. “Screw the treaty.”
I glanced up at him, and he scowled at my panicked expression.
“Hurry, Bella,” Alice interrupted urgently.
I ran to the kitchen, yanking the drawers open and throwing the contents all over the floor as I searched for a pen. A smooth, brown hand held one out to me.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, pulling the cap off with my teeth. He silently handed me the pad of paper we wrote phone messages on. I tore off the top sheet and threw it over my shoulder.
Dad, I wrote. I’m with Alice. Edward’s in trouble. You can ground me when I get back. I know it’s a bad time. So sorry. Love you so much. Bella.
“Don’t go,” Jacob whispered. The anger was all gone now that Alice was out of sight.
I wasn’t about to waste time arguing with him. “Please, please, please take care of Charlie,” I said as I dashed back out to the front room. Alice was waiting in the doorway with a bag over her shoulder.
“Get your wallet—you’ll need ID. Please tell me you have a passport. I don’t have time to forge one.”
I nodded and then raced up the stairs, my knees weak with gratitude that my mother had wanted to marry Phil on a beach in Mexico. Of course, like all her plans, it had fallen through. But not before I’d made all the practical arrangements I could for her.
I tore through my room. I stuffed my old wallet, a clean T-shirt, and sweatpants into my backpack, and then threw my toothbrush on top. I hurled myself back down the stairs. The sense of déjà vu was nearly stifling by this point. At least, unlike the last time—when I’d run away from Forks to escape thirsty vampires rather than to find them—I wouldn’t have to say goodbye to Charlie in person.
Jacob and Alice were locked in some kind of confrontation in front of the open door, standing so far apart you wouldn’t assume at first that they were having a conversation. Neither one seemed to notice my noisy reappearance.
“You might control yourself on occasion, but these leeches you’re taking her to—” Jacob was furiously accusing her.
“Yes. You’re right, dog.” Alice was snarling, too. “The Volturi are the very essence of our kind—they’re the reason your hair stands on end when you smell me. They are the substance of your nightmares, the dread behind your instincts. I’m not unaware of that.”
“And you take her to them like a bottle of wine for a party!” he shouted.
“You think she’d be better off if I left her here alone, with Victoria stalking her?”
“We can handle the redhead.”
“Then why is she still hunting?”
Jacob growled, and a shudder rippled through his torso.
“Stop that!” I shouted at them both, wild with impatience. “Argue when we get back, let’s go!”
Alice turned for the car, disappearing in her haste. I hurried after her, pausing automatically to turn and lock the door.
Jacob caught my arm with a shivering hand. “Please, Bella. I’m begging.”
His dark eyes were glistening with tears. A lump filled my throat.
“Jake, I have to—”
“You don’t, though. You really don’t. You could stay here with me. You could stay alive. For Charlie. For me.”
The engine of Carlisle’s Mercedes purred; the rhythm of the thrumming spiked when Alice revved it impatiently.
I shook my head, tears spattering from my eyes with the sharp motion. I pulled my arm free, and he didn’t fight me.
“Don’t die, Bella,” he choked out. “Don’t go. Don’t.”
What if I never saw him again?
The thought pushed me past the silent tears; a sob broke out from my chest. I threw my arms around his waist and hugged for one too-short moment, burying my tear-wet face against his chest. He put his big hand on the back of my hair, as if to hold me there.
“Bye, Jake.” I pulled his hand from my hair, and kissed his palm. I couldn’t bear to look at his face. “Sorry,” I whispered.
Then I spun and raced for the car. The door on the passenger side was open and waiting. I threw my backpack over the headrest and slid in, slamming the door behind me.
“Take care of Charlie!” I turned to shout out the window, but Jacob was nowhere in sight. As Alice stomped on the gas and—with the tires screeching like human screams—spun us around to face the road, I caught sight of a shred of white near the edge of the trees. A piece of a shoe.