THURSDAY, MAY 11, 1944Dearest Kitty,Since I’ve left my entire “junk box” — including my fountain pen — upstairsand I’m not allowed to disturb the grown-ups during their nap time (until twothirty), you’ll have to make do with a letter in pencil.I’m terribly busy at the moment, and strange as it may sound, I don’t haveenough time to get through my pile of work. Shall I tell you briefly what I’vegot to do? Well then, before tomorrow I have to finish reading the firstvolume of a biography of Galileo Galilei, since it has to be returned to thelibrary. I started reading it yesterday and have gotten up to page 220 out of320 pages, so I’ll manage it. Next week I have to read Palestine at the Crossroads and the second volume of Galilei. Besides that, I finished the firstvolume of a biography of Emperor Charles Vyesterday, and I still have to work out the many genealogical charts I’vecollected and the notes I’ve taken. Next I have three pages of foreign wordsfrom my various books, all of which have to be written down, memorized andread aloud.Number four: my movie stars are in a terrible disarray and are dying to bestraightened out, but since it’ll take several days to do that and ProfessorAnne is, as she’s already said, up to her ears in work, they’ll have to put upwith the chaos a while longer. Then there’re Theseus, Oedipus, Peleus,Orpheus, Jason and Hercules all waiting to be untangled, since their variousdeeds are running crisscross through my mind like mul- ticolored threads in adress. Myron and Phidias are also urgently in need of attention, or else I’llforget entirely how they fit into the picture. The same applies, for example, tothe Seven Years’War and the Nine Years’ War. Now I’m getting everything all mixed up.Well, what can you do with a memory like mine! Just imagine how forgetfulI’ll be when I’m eighty!Oh, one more thing. The Bible. How long is it going to take before I come tothe story of the bathing Susanna? And what do they mean by Sodom andGomorrah? Oh, there’s still so much to find out and learn. And in themeantime, I’ve left Charlotte of the Palatine in the lurch.You can see, can’t you, Kitty, that I’m full to bursting?And now something else. You’ve known for a long time that my greatest wishis to be a journalist, and later on, a famous writer. We’ll have to wait and seeif these grand illusions (or delusions!) will ever come true, but up to now I’vehad no lack of topics. In any case, after the war I’d like to publish a bookcalled The Secret Annex. It remains to be seen whether I’ll succeed, but mydiary can serve as the basis.I also need to finish “Cady’s Life.” I’ve thought up the rest of the plot. Afterbeing cured in the sanatorium, Cady goes back home and continues writing toHans. It’s 1941, and it doesn’t take her long to discover Hans’s Nazisympathies, and since Cady is deeply concerned with the plight of the Jewsand of her friend Marianne, they begin drifting apart.They meet and get back together, but break up when Hans takes up withanother girl. Cady is shattered, and because she wants to have a good job, shestudies nursing. After graduation she accepts a position, at the urging of herfather’s friends, as a nurse in a TB sanatorium in Switzerland. During her firstvacation she goes to Lake Como, where she runs into Hans. He tells her thattwo years earlier he’d married Cady’s successor, but that his wife took her lifein a fit of depression. Now that he’s seen his little Cady again, he realizes howmuch he loves her, and once more asks for her hand in marriage. Cadyrefuses, even though, in spite of herself, she loves him as much as ever. Buther pride holds her back. Hans goes away, and years later Cady learns thathe’s wound up in England, where he’s struggling with ill health.When she’s twenty-seven, Cady marries a well-to-do man from the country,named Simon. She grows to love him, but not as much as Hans. She has twodaughters and a son, Lthan, Judith and Nico. She and Simon are happytogether, but Hans is always in the back of her mind until one night shedreams of him and says farewell.. . .It’s not sentimental nonsense: it’s based on the story of Father’s life.Yours, Anne M. FrankSATURDAY, MAY 13, 1944My dearest Kitty,Yesterday was Father’s birthday, Father and Mother’s nineteenth weddinganniversary, a day without the cleaning lady. . . and the sun was shining as it’snever shone before in 1944. Our chestnut tree is in full bloom. It’s coveredwith leaves and is even more beautiful than last year.Father received a biography of Linnaeus from Mr. Kleiman, a book on naturefrom Mr. Kugler, The Canals of Amsterdam from Dussel, a huge box fromthe van Daans (wrapped so beautifully it might have been done by aprofessional), containing three eggs, a bottle of beer, a jar of yogurt and agreen tie. It made our jar of molasses seem rather paltry.My roses smelled wonderful compared to Miep and Bep’s red carnations. Hewas thoroughly spoiled. Fifty petits fours arrived from Siemons’Bakery, delicious! Father also treated us to spice cake, the men to beer andthe ladies to yogurt. Everything was scrumptious!Yours, Anne M. FrankTUESDAY, MAY 16, 1944My dearest Kitty, just for a change (since we haven’t had one of these in solong) I’ll recount a little discussion between Mr. and Mrs. van D. last night:Mrs. van D.: “The Germans have had plenty of time to fortify the AtlanticWall, and they’ll certainly do everything within their power to hold back theBritish. It’s amazing how strong the Germans are!”Mr. van D.: “Oh, yes, amazing.Mrs. van D.: “It is!”Mr. van D.: “They are so strong they’re bound to win the war in the end, isthat what you mean?”Mrs. van D.: “They might. I’m not convinced that they won’t.”Mr. van D.: “I won’t even answer that.”Mrs. van D.: “You always wind up answering. You let yourself get carriedaway, every single time.”Mr. van D.: “No, I don’t. I always keep my answers to the bare minimum.”Mrs. van D.: “But you always do have an answer and you always have to beright! Your predictions hardly ever come true, you know!”Mr. van D.: “So far they have.”Mrs. van D.: “No they haven’t. You said the invasion was going to start lastyear, the Finns were supposed to have been out of the war by now, the Italiancampaign ought to have been over by last winter, and the Russians shouldalready have captured Lemberg. Oh no, I don’t set much store by yourpredictions.”Mr. van D. (leaping to his feet): “Why don’t you shut your trap for a change?I’ll show you who’s right; someday you’ll get tired of needling me. I can’tstand your bellyaching a minute longer. just wait, one day I’ll make you eatyour words!” (End of Act One.)Actually, I couldn’t help giggling. Mother couldn’t either, and even Peter wasbiting his lips to keep from laughing. Oh, those stupid grown-ups. They needto learn a few things first before they start making so many remarks about theyounger generation!Since Friday we’ve been keeping the windows open again at night.Yours, Anne M. FrankWhat Our Annex Family Is Interested In(A Systematic Survey of Courses and Readina Matter) Mr. van Daan. Nocourses; looks up many things in Knaur’s Encyclopedia and Lexicon; likes toread detective stories, medical books and love stories, exciting or trivial.Mrs. van Daan. A correspondence course in English; likes to readbiographical novels and occasionally other kinds of novels.Mr. Frank. Is learning English (Dickens!) and a bit of Latin; never readsnovels, but likes serious, rather dry descriptions of people and places.Mrs. Frank. A correspondence course in English; reads everything exceptdetective stories.Mr. Dussel. Is learning English, Spanish and Dutch with no noticeableresults; reads everything; goes along with the opinion of the majority.Peter van Daan. Is learning English, French (correspondence course),shorthand in Dutch, English and German, commercial correspondence inEnglish, woodworking, economics and sometimes math; seldom reads,sometimes geography.Margot Frank. Correspondence courses in English, French and Latin,shorthand in English, German and Dutch, trigonometry, solid geometry,mechanics, phys- ics, chemistry, algebra, geometry, English literature, Frenchliterature, German literature, Dutch literature, bookkeeping, geography,modern history, biology, economics; reads everything, preferably on religionand medicine.Anne Frank. Shorthand in French, English, German and Dutch, geometry,algebra, history, geography, art history, mythology, biology, Bible history,Dutch literature; likes to read biographies, dull or exciting, and history books(sometimes novels and light reading).FRIDAY, MAY 19, 1944Dearest Kitty,I felt rotten yesterday. Vomiting (and that from Anne!), headache,stomachache and anything else you can imagine. I’m feeling better today. I’mfamished, but I think I’ll skip the brown beans we’re having for dinner.Everything’s going fine between Peter and me. The poor boy has an evengreater need for tenderness than I do. He still blushes every evening when hegets his good-night kiss, and then begs for another one. Am I merely a bettersubstitute for Boche? I don’t mind. He’s so happy just knowing somebodyloves him.After my laborious conquest, I’ve distanced myself a little from the situation,but you mustn’t think my love has cooled. Peter’s a sweetheart, but I’veslammed the door to my inner self; if he ever wants to force the lock again,he’ll have to use a harder crowbar!Yours, Anne M. FrankSATURDAY, MAY 20, 1944Dearest Kitty,Last night when I came down from the attic, I noticed, the moment I enteredthe room, that the lovely vase of carnations had fallen over. Mother wasdown on her hands and knees mopping up the water and Margot was fishingmy papers off the floor. “What happened?” I asked with anxious foreboding,and before they could reply, I assessed the damage from across the room. Myentire genealogy file, my notebooks, my books, everything was afloat. Inearly cried, and I was so upset I started speaking German. I can’t remembera word, but according to Margot I babbled something about”unlioersehbarer Schaden, schrecklich, entsetzlich, nie zu ersetzen”* *Incalculable loss, terrible, awful, irreplaceable. and much more. Fadier burstout laughing and Modier and Margot joined in, but I felt like crying becauseall my work and elaborate notes were lost.I took a closer look and, luckily, die “incalculable loss”wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. Up in die attic I carefully peeled apart diesheets of paper diat were stuck togedier and dien hung diem on dieclodiesline to dry. It was such a funny sight, even I had to laugh. Maria de’Medici alongside Charles V, William of Orange and Marie Antoinette.”It’s Rassenschande,”* Mr. van Daan joked. An affront to racial purity.After entrusting my papers to Peter’s care, I went back downstairs.”Which books are ruined?” I asked Margot, who was going dirough them.”Algebra,” Margot said.But as luck would have it, my algebra book wasn’t entirely ruined. I wish ithad fallen right in the vase. I’ve never loathed any book as much as that one.Inside the front cover are the names of at least twenty girls who had it beforeI did. It’s old, yellowed, full of scribbles, crossed-out words and revisions.The next time I’m in a wicked mood, I’m going to tear the darned thing topieces!Yours, Anne M. FrankMONDAY, MAY 22,1944Dearest Kitty,On May 20, Father lost his bet and had to give five jars of yogurt to Mrs. vanDaan: the invasion still hasn’t begun.I can safely say that all of Amsterdam, all of Holland, in fact the entirewestern coast of Europe, all the way down to Spain, are talking about theinvasion day and night, debating, making bets and . . . hoping.The suspense is rising to fever pitch; by no means has everyone we think ofas “good” Dutch people kept their faith in the English, not everyone thinksthe English bluff is a masterful strategical move. Oh no, people want deedsgreat, heroic deeds.No one can see farther than the end of their nose, no one gives a thought tothe fact that the British are fighting for their own country and their ownpeople; everyone thinks it’s England’s duty to save Holland, as quickly aspossible. What obligations do the English have toward us? What have theDutch done to deserve the generous help they so clearly expect? Oh no, theDutch are very much mistaken. The English, despite their bluff, are certainlyno more to blame for the war than all the other countries, large and small, thatare now occupied by the Germans. The British are not about to offer theirexcuses; true, they were sleeping during the years Germany was rearmingitself, but all the other countries, especially those bordering on Germany,were asleep too. England and the rest of the world have discovered thatburying your head in the sand doesn’t work, and now each of them, especiallyEngland, is having to pay a heavy price for its ostrich policy.No country sacrifices its men without reason, and certainly not in the interestsof another, and England is no exception. The invasion, liberation andfreedom will come someday; yet England, not the occupied territories, willchoose the moment.To our great sorrow and dismay, we’ve heard that many people have changedtheir attitude toward us Jews. We’ve been told that anti-Semitism has croppedup in circles where once it would have been unthinkable. This fact hasaffected us all very, very deeply. The reason for the hatred is understandable,maybe even human, but that doesn’t make it right. According to theChristians, the Jews are blabbing their secrets to the Germans, denouncingtheir helpers and causing them to suffer the dreadful fate and punishmentsthat have already been meted out to so many. All of this is true.But as with everything, they should look at the matter from both sides: wouldChristians act any differently if they were in our place? Could anyone,regardless of whether they’re Jews or Christians, remain silent in the face ofGerman pressure? Everyone knows it’s practically impossible, so why do theyask the impossible of the Jews?It’s being said in underground circles that the German Jews who immigratedto Holland before the war and have now been sent to Poland shouldn’t beallowed to return here. They were granted the right to asylum in Holland, butonce Hitler is gone, they should go back to Germany.When you hear that, you begin to wonder why we’re fighting this long anddifficult war. We’re always being told that we’re fighting for freedom, truthand justice! The war isn’t even over, and already there’s dissension and Jewsare regarded as lesser beings. Oh, it’s sad, very sad that the old adage hasbeen confirmed for the umpteenth time: “What one Christian does is his ownresponsibthty, what one Jew does reflects on all Jews.”To be honest, I can’t understand how the Dutch, a nation of good, honest,upright people, can sit in judgment on us the way they do. On us-the mostoppressed, unfortunate and pitiable people in all the world.I have only one hope: that this anti-Semitism is just a passing thing, that theDutch will show their true colors, that they’ll never waver from what theyknow in their hearts to be just, for this is unjust!And if they ever carry out this terrible threat, the meager handful of Jews stillleft in Holland will have to go.We too will have to shoulder our bundles and move on, away from thisbeautiful country, which once so kindly took us in and now turns its back onus.I love Holland. Once I hoped it would become a fatherland to me, since I hadlost my own. And I hope so still!Yours, Anne M. Frank