Kate stood under the tent erected in St Salvator’s Quad and nibbled a smoked salmon sandwich. She really must go back to her room before tonight’s Graduation Ball or she’d be too tired to finish arranging the centerpieces.
But the tent looked so beautiful with its pink tablecloths and pastel-colored balloons. If she left, it might feel like an ordinary afternoon instead of her graduation day from St Andrews.
The whole day had been thrilling. She woke early and attended the chancellor’s breakfast. She remembered when she arrived four years ago and he was so terrifying in his black robes. Now he shook her hand and gave her a quick hug.
The ceremony in Younger Hall seemed to last forever. Her pumps were too tight and she had to keep poking Trevor so he didn’t scribble equations on his program. Then the students paraded down North Street and tossed their caps in the air and she was so happy and sad at the same time.
It had been a wonderful semester. After the society dinner in January, she and Trevor cautiously started dating. They were like trapeze artists who didn’t want a fear of heights to interfere with their act. Neither of them wanted to hurt their friendship, but the attraction between them made them bright and happy.
They did all their normal things: spent long hours in the library and studied too late in their rooms. But she would bring him a sticky toffee pudding or he would surprise her with a bouquet of flowers and they both had that giddy feeling of knowing someone cared.
She accepted an internship at a network in New York and Trevor was starting a postgraduate degree at the University of London, and they didn’t know when they would see each other. They avoided the subject like pilots navigating around a dangerous storm. Once they were walking down South Street and Kate noticed Trevor was far behind her. When she asked why he stopped, he said he wanted to know what it would be like to be without her.
“There you are.” Trevor approached her. “I couldn’t drag my mother away from the chancellor. She was so thrilled that he stopped to talk to her, she asked him about his golf game and the names of his favorite restaurants. I didn’t have the heart to tell her he doesn’t play golf and eats all his meals in his residence.”
“Of course he talked to her.” Kate smiled. “You practically won every prize.”
“You did well yourself: the Entrepreneur Award and Howe Prize for debate.”
Kate clutched her champagne glass and flinched. She and Ian had tied for first place and collected their awards together. She tried to avoid him all semester. Whenever he saw her he hinted how much he missed her, like a fisherman dangling bait. She always coolly dismissed him, but the next time he tried again.
“My internship pays less than the desk person at the YMCA and has longer hours than an investment banker.” She sighed. “You’re going to study at one of the most prestigious universities in the world and become a famous mathematician.”
“Or fail miserably and teach high school math in York.” Trevor grinned. “My mother is still upset I’m not coming home. She expected me to unpack my suitcases and move back in to my bedroom.”
Trevor looked so handsome in his cap and gown. His hair was cut short and he wore a white shirt and yellow tie.
“I’m proud of you.” She kissed him. “When you win the Nobel Prize, I’ll tell my friends you once corrected my calculus homework.”
Trevor squeezed her hand and looked up. “My mother is walking toward us. We have to leave or she’ll ask me to take more photos with the chancellor and it will be so embarrassing.”
They stepped out of the tent and crossed the lawn. The sky was pale blue and the grass was emerald green and the sun glinted on the tall spires.
“Don’t you think it’s not fair that the university looks so beautiful in summer?” she commented. “I remember when I came in September and thought the sea would always be the color of sapphires and the Old Course would resemble something out of The Wizard of Oz. Then November arrived and I had never been so cold.”
“It will be cold in New York,” he reminded her.
“But the office buildings are properly heated and you can ride the subway instead of a bicycle,” she answered. “You’ll have to send me some sausage rolls. The best way to warm my hands is rubbing them on the packaging.”
“I was thinking about hand delivering them,” Trevor said slowly.
“What did you say?” Kate stopped and turned around.
“I’ve been doing a little research and Columbia has an excellent master’s program,” he continued. “It wouldn’t be until next year because I’ve already been accepted at the University of London.”
“You’re thinking of moving to New York?” she repeated.
“We’ve never talked about the future, and frankly I can’t imagine living in a city where the skyscrapers are so tall you have to crane your neck to see them. But I’m willing to give it a try.”
“But you’ve never been to New York.” Kate frowned. “You might hate it. It’s hopelessly overcrowded and you can’t get a packet of fish and chips or Cadbury Flake bar.”
Trevor reached into his pocket and took out a black box.
“This isn’t an engagement ring, we’re both twenty-two and don’t know the first thing about marriage,” he began. “I suppose one calls it a promise ring, but then I feel like I’m sixteen and infatuated with the girl who agreed to go with me to the dance.
“Even if I get accepted at Columbia, I wouldn’t start until next year and you might be engaged to some hedge fund manager with a summer cottage in the Hamptons. But I’ve felt about you the same I did when we met, and I’ll never feel this way about anyone else.”
Trevor opened it and took out a silver ring. Kate felt like a skydiver who was suddenly afraid to jump. It all looked so beautiful: the dazzling sky and ground laid out like a tapestry. But what if she couldn’t open her chute?
“I’m just asking you to wait for me,” he finished. “So we can figure out if we want to be together.”
“It’s beautiful, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else,” she stumbled. “But I hadn’t thought about the future. I’m just worried about finding a decent apartment and learning how to use the subway.”
“You don’t have to give me your answer now.” He pressed the ring into her hand. “Keep it and tell me tomorrow.”
She slipped it into her purse and felt a little relieved. The clock struck four o’clock and she jumped. “I have to change and prepare for the Graduation Ball. I’m head of the setup committee. If I’m not there, the other members might drink all the champagne and eat the best hors d’oeuvres before everyone arrives.”
“I would go with you, but I promised my parents I’d take them to the Adamson for dinner,” Trevor said.
“I won’t stay late,” she replied. “I’ll make sure everything is going smoothly and come join you.”
“If I survive until then.” He kissed her. “My mother will have drunk too much wine and be telling the waiter he could get a real job if he just got a haircut.”
* * *
Kate stood in the corner of the ballroom and thought it really did look lovely. A black-and-white dance floor was strung with twinkling lights and there was an ice sculpture and glass bar. Vases were filled with yellow sunflowers and a dessert table held blueberry cheesecakes and chocolate-covered strawberries.
Kate decided not to leave before the band started and now she was glad she stayed. She worked so hard on the decorations; she had to see what they looked like with the lights dimmed and candles flickering on the tables. And it was her last ball at St Andrews. She wanted to watch the guys in white dinner jackets and girls in bright evening gowns twirl across the dance floor.
A man approached her and she recognized Ian’s blond hair.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he commented. “That’s the loveliest gown in the ballroom.”
“I had to dress up for the ball.” She smoothed the skirt of her yellow organza gown. “I’m on the committee. But I’m not staying long, I just wanted to see the decorations.”
“Why are you alone?” he stood beside her. “Don’t tell me Trevor jilted you. I never trusted him; no one is that nice. He’s like one of your American Boy Scouts with a backpack.”
“Trevor is having dinner with his parents.” She turned away. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to join them.”
“Don’t go yet,” he suggested. “Let me get you a glass of champagne.”
“No thank you, I’m not thirsty,” she said. “I only stayed to see the decorations.”
“Do you remember the Snowdrop Ball?” he asked suddenly. “You wore that ivory gown and you were the most beautiful girl there.”
Kate recalled Ian in a black tuxedo. When he walked her home, all she wanted was for him to kiss her.
“It was years ago, I can’t remember what I wore.” She turned to the exit. “It was nice seeing you, I’ll see you later.”
She stepped outside and a male voice called after her.
“Kate, wait!” Ian appeared, waving something in the air. “You left your purse on the table.”
He handed her the purse and touched her arm.
“Sit with me for a few minutes,” he urged. “It’s so beautiful outside. You don’t want to sit in a stuffy restaurant when you can enjoy a Scottish summer night.”
It was beautiful. The sky was as wide as a football field and the air smelled of dew and flowers. And it was her last night at St Andrews. She wanted to sit and gaze at the brick buildings forever.
“I’ll stay for a few minutes,” she conceded, settling her wide skirt on the stone steps.
“Here, have my glass of champagne.” He handed it to her. “So tell me what Kate Crawford is doing after graduation.”
“I have an internship at a network in New York,” she answered.
“I knew you’d take the television world by storm.” He nodded. “I’m going to open a nightclub in London with a friend. Before you make some comment that it’s an excellent way to pick up girls, it’s strictly a business venture. I want to do something with my trust fund besides watch it grow while I play croquet.”
“I hope it will be a success.” Kate sipped the champagne and thought she really should leave.
“I know I made a mistake with Jasper,” he said slowly. “I’ve regretted it from the moment it happened. But I swear it was just a few kisses, there was never anything more.”
“A few kisses are much more than nothing. Anyway, that’s ancient history.” She stood up. “I really have to go.”
“You and I were in love for three years and might not see each other again,” he insisted. “You can give me five minutes.”
Ian’s cheekbones glinted under the stars and he looked like a lead in a romantic movie.
“All right.” She nodded and sat down.
“I was faithful the whole time we were together. Not because I was afraid you’d find out, but because I wasn’t interested in anyone else,” he began. “For three years I was that guy you saw underneath the ski sweater. Then I was alone with Jasper on winter break and made a stupid error.” He looked up and his eyes were dark. “You don’t know how many times I wished I could take it back.”
Kate remembered the debate where Ian begged her to give him another chance.
“It’s not important,” she said quietly. “We’ve both moved on.”
He handed her a crumpled piece of paper. “Read this.”
“What is it?” She turned it over.
“It’s a receipt for this.” He reached into his pocket and drew out a blue velvet box. He opened it and displayed a diamond engagement ring. “Look at the date on the receipt. I bought it over winter break.”
“You bought an engagement ring?” Kate sucked in her breath.
“I wasn’t going to give it to you right away,” he said. “I was going to wait until your birthday.”
“Why is it in your pocket?” she asked and felt like she couldn’t swallow.
“I carry it all the time. I hoped there might be a time when I could give it to you.” He got down on his knee. “I’ve missed being together and I don’t want to miss it anymore.” He paused. “I love you, Kate, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy.”
He pressed the ring into her palm and Kate gasped.
“You can’t ask me to marry you,” she whispered.
“I could open a nightclub in New York or you could get an internship in London,” he continued. “We’d travel the world and have everything we want.”
“It’s our last night at St Andrews and we’re both nostalgic.” She held the ring gingerly. “Please take it back.”
“Just think about it,” Ian begged and his eyes were the color of cornflowers. “You can give me your answer in the morning.”
Kate entered the residence hall and ran up the stairs to her room. How could she have talked to Ian and why did he propose? They hadn’t spoken to each other in months and now he asked her to marry him.
And she and Trevor were young and had so much ahead of them. Was she ready to give him a promise when they had only been together for a few months?
It was supposed to be the most wonderful night with laughter and tears and toasts to the future. Now all she wanted was to climb into bed.
Her purse lay on the coffee table and she opened it. Ian’s diamond ring was snuggled next to Trevor’s black box. She held them in her hand and her heart raced and she felt almost dizzy. She slipped them back into her purse and blinked back tears.
* * *
Kate sat in the booth in Claridge’s bar and sipped her scotch. How dare Trevor storm off because they saw Ian. It wasn’t her fault that Ian kissed her; Trevor was acting like a child. She picked up her phone and dialed Trevor’s number.
“It’s Kate,” she said when he answered the phone. “I’m sitting at the bar and I had to talk to you. You were the one who said we should make a fresh start, but then Ian appeared on the steps of the Dorchester and you stormed off.”
“It was a shock to see him,” Trevor admitted. “But I really did have an important phone call, I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“You were so quiet in the taxi and you barely said goodnight,” she continued. “We had a beautiful evening and you ruined it.”
“He kissed you in front of me,” Trevor returned. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Ian is married with a child,” Kate reminded him. “It was just a kiss between old friends.”
“It’s late and I have a throbbing headache,” he answered. “Do you mind if we discuss this in the morning?”
“I suppose so,” Kate relented. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She paid her check and walked into the lobby. The chandeliers glinted on the Christmas tree and giant wreaths hung from the fireplace and it all looked so festive. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and they would drink eggnog and forget all about their argument. She pressed the button on the elevator and hoped she was right.