These people desperately need the energy of approval. They
have had so many past incarnations of being detached, of being
“nobody,” that in this incarnation they are terrified of being
“somebody”—and of being themselves. Through many lifetimes of
sublimating their identity to a larger cause, they have lost track of
who they are. This makes them exceptionally good actors and
actresses; they are willing to play the role of somebody else in order
to get the approval they so greatly need. In fact, the approval of
being validated and applauded for positive participation is healthy
for these folks—it grounds them in their own active personality.
The function of ego (as it is discussed in this chapter) is to
articulate desire, to interweave the individual’s wants and needs
with the rest of the world. The ego verbally communicates the
direction the individual wants to go. It is the decision maker and
activator of the will. Leo North Node people have had many past
lifetimes of being immersed in a “superego” mindset based on
“shoulds” and “oughts”—morality as dictated by society, family,
religion, or an awareness of humanitarian ideals. As a result, they
have lost contact with their personal ego—a sense of themselves as
individuals, with individual needs and directions. They are aware of
their id—their spontaneous “gut reactions” to things—and their
superego mind, but they are not in touch with their ego as a
mediator between the two. Thus, they tend to swing between being
too accommodating and allowing others to walk all over them, and
erupting in anger that their “line of fairness” has been violated.
Often they don’t even understand what is happening, and they find
it difficult to explain their anger to themselves or others.
Without a sense of ego to help them make good decisions, these
folks can become extraordinarily stubborn. If they think they can’t
leave a situation for knowledge-based reasons (shoulds, oughts,
moral or spiritual beliefs) even though their gut tells them it’s not
healthy, they’ll stay no matter what. This stubbornness can work to
their advantage if they convert it to determination in actively
pursuing their goals, but it works against them when they remain in
a stagnant, limiting situation. Their motive in remaining can also be
safety, security, and fear of change. Usually they try to turn their
inertia into something positive by finding a new challenge within
the old situation to make them feel creative. But the fact is that if
there’s only so far they can go, ultimately it will end up as selflimitation. They might find the courage to break free if they set a
time limit for themselves. They can use the predetermined time to
prepare themselves for leaping into a new life. When they make up
their mind and refuse to consider any other options, they activate
their will and suddenly have the power and energy to change.
In this incarnation Leo North Node people are here to
consciously develop a healthy ego. Their challenge is to strengthen
the ego by validating it, verbally communicating what they perceive
from a superego point of view, as well as what they are
experiencing in the id (their gut reaction). For example, they could
say: “I know I shouldn’t be angry about this because you’ve had a
hard day at work; you’re tired, and you just want to forget about
dealing with people. But I get very upset when you come home,
pick up the newspaper, plop down in front of the TV, and don’t talk
with me. I’d like to create some time each evening for taking care of
each other and regenerating our relationship.”
Once these natives have voiced their own truth and expressed
what they feel and want without censoring themselves, they begin
to develop a sense of their unique individuality. This takes
tremendous courage, but it is the only way for these folks to ground
and integrate themselves on a vital, solid level. When they
communicate both their superego and id point of view in a loving
but firm way, creative solutions become apparent, their egos grow
stronger, and others begin to pay attention to what they say. If they
don’t strongly communicate their feelings to others, how can people
really know them and give them what they want?
By consciously developing their ego through their
accomplishments, these folks can stay on the path of Right Action
and also give the gift of putting other people more in touch with
their superegos. By sharing the larger picture that they see and by
communicating gut reactions from their id, they help others have a
more expansive outlook that takes everyone’s best interests into
account.
Leo North Node people also have a mission in this lifetime of
developing their will—evoking and building the strength within
themselves to actively pursue their dreams. They have more inner
strength than they realize, and they are learning to recognize and
integrate this. Part of the process involves acknowledging the
amount of time it takes to manifest things of value. If they want a
dream to come true, they must be willing to give it time. The other
people involved need time to come into alignment with Leo North
Nodes’ dream, and the preparatory steps must be completed in the
physical realm. All these things require time, so these folks must
have endurance for the long haul.
They will create the dreams of their heart if they are willing to go
slowly—step by step—in completing each stage of the process and
allowing the next step to be revealed. If they focus on the goal and
stay in touch with their inner feeling of happiness, the process will
build the strength of character required to handle—and fully
appreciate—the fruits of their labor. To connect with their inner
power, however, Leo North Node people must push through a
mountain of self-doubt: “What if I fail? What if I can’t?” The idea
is to not think about failure. Instead, just try it. It can take these
folks a long time to begin recognizing their inner power, but once
they accept it, nothing can stop them!
Will is the instrument they need to manifest their dreams. They
will also be strengthened by remembering that what they are
looking for is also looking for them. At the same time they are
persistently taking steps to reach their dream, the dream is
beckoning them and pulling them onward.
In order to feel motivated, Leo North Node people often have to
be “propelled” in a certain direction. They feel a pull from a person
or situation—and when they follow that pull, they find that they’re
on track. But in this incarnation they must remember to stay in
touch with their own inner motivation, not just what others want
them to do.
Sometimes these folks become so detached and inactive that they
pull back from being involved in anything. This can be especially
difficult for those with whom they share reciprocal responsibility
(such as a spouse or a business partner) because when a crisis hits,
these folks tend to disappear and let those around them handle it.
When there is a family crisis, they may not want to be involved—
they really don’t want to do anything. Others feel they have to prod
them, knock them over the head, or threaten them to get them to
help.
Instead of responding to this, Leo North Node people often pull
further away. They feel all the emotional energy in those around
them—and they don’t know what to do. What they should do is pull
back for just an instant and get in touch with their own heart. What
would they like to see happen in the situation? What would make
them happy? Once they can see it, they must take responsibility and
do their part to create that positive outcome.
When they’re following their inner prompting, no one needs to
force them or prod them because they are already actively pursuing
their own course. As an individual, they may want to handle one
area of a relationship and not another, or resolve one type of crisis
and not another. To be helpful and fair to everyone, they should
define the areas in which they are willing to participate and let
others know when they can—and cannot—be counted on. For
example, they may be happy to play with the children, but need an
hour every evening right after work to be by themselves and get
centered. They should find out what their spouse needs and then
find a way to meet both partners’ requisites.
Because these folks are learning to get in touch with their inner
selves and clearly define what they want, they need to remember to
make only those commitments that are in alignment with what they
want or with what they truly feel is fair—and keep their word! If
they say they’re going to become involved on a certain level, they
need to follow through and do it. On the other hand, if they choose
not to participate in something, they need to discuss that honestly
with the other people involved. In the process of opening up
communication, a higher degree of order is created that brings more
joy for all concerned.
Leo North Node people are dependent on receiving love from
others. When they risk sharing their feelings and desires, they tend
to give up if others don’t immediately provide validation. They
quickly become silent again. But they may have to put some energy
—some drama—into their communication so that others understand
that it’s important to them. They must be firm in expressing their
needs so that others take them seriously. And their motive should
not just be “getting their way,” but expressing the integrity of who
they are so that their character and ego can develop. Their selfexpression is the natural architect of the boundaries within them.
When they are not honestly and firmly expressing their true inner
reactions, they are inadvertently being unfair to others: They are
denying others the opportunity to really see who they are, interact
with them, and meet their needs.
These folks have an incredible talent for stimulating enthusiasm
in others and making them happy. They can apply this talent to both
business and personal arenas. The key is to be willing to participate
—to become involved with others and to communicate with their
hearts as well as their heads. When they become disappointed in a
situation and withdraw, everyone loses. When they increase their
interest and continue to put constructive energy into the situation,
everyone wins.
Leo North Node people are very attuned to the emotions and
wills of the people around them. They feel what others want, the
different directions of each person’s will in the situation, and what
they are striving to create. When they get into the middle of all that
emotional energy, they don’t know how to handle it. They often
detach themselves rather than participate. But actually, these folks
have incredible abilities to deal with the wills and emotions of other
people. Because they don’t have an ego attachment to the will, they
have the objectivity to see how a given situation can work out fairly
so that everyone’s divergent needs and wants are acknowledged.
They need to learn to detach only momentarily—just long enough to
see what is going on—and then use their power to accurately
appraise the situation. Then they can use their emotional energy and
ability to act out a role to create positive results.
They must be willing to step into the middle of a situation and
begin to play with people. In this way they can create the right
energy so that everyone’s divergent wills align for the good of the
whole, bringing justice, fairness, equality, and harmony to the
situation. This is the happiest use of their ability to detach—to turn
it into conscious involvement where they exercise their will in a
truly creative way. They also must remember to include their will—
what they want—as part of the equation, or the solution won’t work
out in the long run.
Leo North Node people can be self-conscious, and this is
debilitating for them. Actually, they are happiest and most confident
when their attention is focused outward, uplifting the spirits of those
around them. However, when they become self-reflective, they get
“stuck” in feelings of insecurity; their energies begin to circle
around themselves instead of moving forward. Involvement, then, is
a key ingredient for their happiness and vitality.
Leo North Node people tend to have serious issues around
commitment. The issues usually arise when these folks allow
themselves to become deeply involved in something—especially a
romantic relationship. All of a sudden someone may enter their life
who is so attractive that they say: “Okay, I’m going to take the risk
and get involved.” And they really want to. The energy of romance
is healthy for them—it stimulates their basic vitality, makes them
want to be alive, and fills them with joy. So they “go for it” and get
right into the middle of all the emotional energies that are
stimulated.
Being very perceptive about what the other person wants, these
folks go about playing the role of the other person’s ideal mate.
They charm the other person and say all the things she wants to
hear. They create much happy romantic energy, and the other person
responds with love and affection. There is mutual joy, and things go
well for a while. But at some point the partner starts to relax, be
more assertive, and exercise her own will—and the Leo North Node
person becomes irritated. He feels that if he is going to embody the
“ideal mate” for his partner, the partner should do the same for him.
He becomes very upset when his partner starts to be herself; often
he may simply withdraw and drift on, never really making a
commitment to create a relationship that feeds energy back to both
partners over the long haul.
The Leo North Node person’s commitment needs to be on a
deeper level—not just when things are going well. It isn’t fair to the
other person, who responds to his advances and becomes open and
vulnerable, only to have her heart broken when the Leo North Node
person changes his mind and leaves by detaching either emotionally
or physically. And since these people do have a strong sense of
fairness, they must be willing to monitor the relationship carefully
and use their creative power to make it work.
Their challenge is to interweave the strong picture of the situation
they would like to create and the creative will of the other person.
The first step in doing this is to find out who the other person really
is. What are the other person’s ideals, dreams, and goals? What is
important to him or her to create and experience in this lifetime?
Also, where is that person willing to yield to accommodate the
individual needs of the Leo North Node person? These things need
to be discussed to ascertain whether or not the two personalities can
blend. If the Leo North Node person can align himself with his
partner’s values and aspirations, there can be supportive mutual
involvement. Both individuals can move together toward fulfillment
of their common goals. These folks need to recognize that the
vitality of romance is not always found only between two people
with identical ideals, wants, and needs. In fact, often the fire they
are seeking is created by two temperaments that, in some ways, are
very dissimilar; it is through the process of encouraging
individuality that the fire burns hotter.
Leo North Node people may overlook a lot of what is going on
around them, because they are receptive to so many distractions.
The biggest problem is that when they are overlooking certain
aspects of a situation, they do not tune in to how things are affecting
them. Instead, they ignore anything unpleasant. This allows them to
avoid taking responsibility and clearly stating their feelings. Some
situations remain unresolved because these folks have not been
honest and clear. The worst impact of this tendency is usually on
their intimate relationships. When they overlook what others want
and the others become disappointed or upset, the Leo North Node
people may feel overwhelmed by incredibly fierce emotional
responses from others that were not anticipated. And then these
folks are crushed—they can’t figure out what they did that evoked
such wrath. After all, they just ignored the whole thing and went on
with their lives!
But looking back, they always feel they should not have
overlooked what they were feeling, and they wish they had given
the other person the chance to respond by communicating honestly.
To avoid problems like this, they need to pay special attention to
what the other person truly wants—not on a quick, what’s-going-tocharm-of-appease-them basis, but real understanding of the other
person’s values and dreams in the relationship. They can learn to
open up their hearts and take personal responsibility.
Many problems with taking responsibility have to do with trust.
Leo North Node people violate other people’s trust without
intending to or recognizing when they have done it. This is why
other people sometimes react violently against them. If these folks
can see the child in other people, they will recognize that everyone
operates from a certain level of trust that others are going to keep
their word. They cannot discount or violate this trust without
experiencing severe repercussions. Once they give their word, they
must keep it as they would with a child—to reinforce the trust that
others give them. If they change their plans, they must let those who
were counting on them know in advance what is happening, and not
just go their own way.
They also need to be aware of the “game” that they have given
other people the impression they are playing—and know what the
rules are. Once they have agreed to the rules—or let others believe
they have agreed to the rules—they need to take responsibility and
play by those rules. For example, if they’re involved in a
relationship and one of the rules is monogamy, they have to be
monogamous. They can’t just “go with the flow” and let momentary
distractions take them in some other direction. They must be true to
their word and create what they say they are going to create.
Since they have learned about detachment in past lives, they may
not recognize how attached others are to them; but when they act
carelessly, others react vehemently. Leo North Node people are
learning to recognize that those in the other nodal groups often take
life much more personally than they do.
Leo North Node people have a tendency to get “stuck” on what
they think they “know.” They take in a few objective facts and then
reach a conclusion based on their perception of the situation, their
goal, and their own needs. Often they become rigidly attached to
their position, refusing to budge. Then they begin to plan for the
future based on their decision, which they consider to be “objective,
irrevocable truth.”
The problem with this process is that these folks tend to reach
their “conclusions” and “certain knowledge” without discussing
anything with the others involved. They may remember something
the other person said and base their “knowledge” on that, rather
than sitting down with the other person and allowing new truths to
emerge from the interaction. They should be willing to share their
feelings, their fears, and the conclusions they are drawing with an
open mind and a willingness to receive new input.
A sensitive awareness of how others feel will empower Leo
North Node people to act without provoking unexpected resistance.
If they understand in advance how others feel—by being aware of
others’ attachments to them and putting themselves in another’s
place—they will be able to present their decisions in ways that
others can accept. If they are willing to abandon logic and enter the
realm of feeling and enthusiasm, they will discover that they are
uniquely equipped to present their plans in a way that shows others
how they also can win.
For example, if Leo North Node is dating a person and the fire
dies out—or was never really there to begin with—his instinctive
response may be to leave the relationship without explanation. This
can cause emotionally distressing reactions in the other person:
confusion, distrust of the opposite sex, feelings of personal
inadequacy . . . sometimes Leo North Node people don’t realize
how unfair or hurtful they can be. Taking the responsibility to
openly acknowledge the direction their individuality is taking can
be mutually empowering: “I just don’t feel the fire anymore, so I’m
interpreting that as an indication that it’s time for me to move on.
I’m being honest with you because I want you to know what’s
happening. This way, it opens the door for someone new to come
into your life who can make you much happier than I can.”
These folks have an incredible ability to “raise the mood” by
tapping into other people’s feelings. When they present things in a
way that evokes others’ enthusiasm, the resulting energy motivates
them into action. Other people’s feelings and emotional energy can
actually be a source of power for them—a fuel that motivates them
to put their dreams into action. Thus, rather than overlook or ignore
people’s feelings, their best bet is to be aware of them and work
with the emotional energy.