Virgo North Node people need to build self-confidence in this
lifetime. Because of their sensitive natures, they are operating with
underlying feelings of helplessness and constant vulnerability. This
can all too easily lead to free-floating anxiety. They can’t release
these feelings until they can determine the cause. Then they usually
recognize that their worries have little connection with reality, or
they see how to avoid falling into the circumstances that
subconsciously provoked the anxiety. This process generally goes
more smoothly with outside help from a counselor or trusted friend
—another point of view will steady them and keep them from
turning inward.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position who was
extremely anxious about accepting a job that looked very good on
paper. It was exactly what he wanted, and the person making the
offer promised him the world. However, he felt anxious about it
without understanding why. While explaining it to me, he
mentioned that he had previously worked in that part of the country
with bittersweet results: He had made lots of money but felt very
isolated socially, as there was a strong bias against his particular
lifestyle. He was now at a time in his life when his social life was as
important to him as his financial success. Once he understood
where the anxiety was coming from, he connected with reality and
made a confident decision not to accept the job.
Self-confidence is not innate for Virgo North Node people. They
have a deep anxiety owing to their lack of practical experience in
the world. Confidence is a by-product of successful experience, and
these folks haven’t had enough past-life experience in the world to
know how truly effective they can be. However, they will find their
confidence growing by leaps and bounds in every area of their lives
where they consciously set goals. When they bypass their emotions
and use their powerful abilities to focus on reaching an objective,
they can be masters at discriminating between what works and what
doesn’t, and they can succeed in an amazingly short period of time.
Once they get the idea, there is no stopping them.
Since Virgo North Node people don’t have a lot of “worldly
success memories” in their subconscious, worldly things are not
second nature to them. Sometimes they’re afraid that if they “do
something wrong,” they can’t have what they want. Actually, that’s
true, but it’s not a moral or ethical issue—just a practical one! For
these folks, a hands-on approach is best: learning by doing,
experimenting, finding out what does and doesn’t work through
their own process. Virgo North Nodes are not “theoretically based”
people who regard books as the final authority—they want practical
results. They want to implement their vision and make it work in
the physical world—and only they can do it.
They have no ego attachment to “being right” and are willing to
make mistakes in the process of finding out how to do things
successfully. This natural openness and humility works to their
advantage, since mistakes are a necessary part of learning.
Successes tell a person that he or she is correct in pursuing the
present pathway with the techniques he or she is using; mistakes
indicate being “off track.” These folks are usually “quick studies,”
and it doesn’t take them long to get the idea of what works and what
doesn’t in any situation.
Past-life experiences in asylums are also very connected with the
karma of Virgo North Node people. This is why in the present
incarnation they may fear “losing it” or going crazy—it is possible
that parts of their psyches went out of balance in the past. Work is
an excellent antidote for them in this lifetime. When they focus on
their job and positive results, whatever part of their psyche was out
of balance will come into permanent alignment through the
practical necessity of getting the job done.
These people must be willing to take what may seem to be
enormous risks to gain the confidence that comes from actively
participating in life. For example, they may have all kinds of fears
about looking for a job, but as soon as they move their feet the
forward motion cuts through their fears. There is no way they can
think their way beyond the anxiety; it is activity that gets them past
an innate lack of confidence.
Virgo North Node people are extremely sensitive, and they tend
to think that others are just as sensitive. When they look closely,
they can see beyond the masks that other people present into what is
really going on: the others’ motives, desires, and insecurities. They
can do this because they are nonjudgmental. The resulting
compassion allows them to see the inner worlds of others.
Because they have this ability, they assume that others can do the
same. Thus, they feel very vulnerable when they are out in the
world. What they must recognize is that others cannot see into
them, for others have not yet experienced the self-purification
required to look deeply behind people’s masks. They worry about
others judging them, yet holding judgments and preconceptions are
the very traits that block others from this ability! Understanding this
can be very liberating for these folks—they can act as if they have
loads of self-confidence, and others will believe it.
When Virgo North Node people look at others they can see into
their very souls, and thus feel tremendous compassion for others.
But when others look at them, they only see the self-portraits
painted by these folks. In this way, Virgo North Node people can
control much of what happens in their lives in a constructive way by
putting up a strong “front.”
These people also assume that others are aware of how sensitive
they are, of how much they yield and withhold to avoid hurting
others, but this is not correct. This is why these folks must establish
well-defined boundaries and let other people know when they get
hurt. Rather than cry and give up, they should clearly define what is
going on for the other person and set a clear, constructive course of
mutual action.
Virgo North Node people tend to have too much inward focus.
One of my clients with this nodal position frequently said: “I can
overcome this if I just go inside myself and think about it.” My
counsel was always: “No! Actively participate to bring order to the
situation.”
It can be tough to find out what is going on in these folks’ minds,
since their first instinct is to withdraw. It may not be easy for others
to understand them, so sometimes their feelings don’t get taken into
account. To effectively enlist their participation, it may be necessary
to ask them specine questions to determine what the situation looks
like to them, how they feel about it, and what they want. Once they
are clear about what they want to create, they will initiate action.
Their tendency to inward focus especially works to their
disadvantage in social interactions. When they are relating with
someone, if they become conscious of themselves and lose sight of
the other person, they become anxious and withdraw. Their purpose
in this lifetime is to serve others; when they stay focused on the
other person and what they can do to help, they feel confident
because they are “on path.” But when they begin to question their
own intent or how they are coming across to the other person, the
focus shifts to themselves and they become anxious.
The key for Virgo North Node people is in connecting and
problem solving with others. By helping others actively take steps
to bring order to the situation, they help themselves. As long as they
remember that their motive is to be helpful, they are filled with the
confidence they need to interact joyfully. After all, if their primary
motive is to be of service, they have nothing to lose. Keeping this in
mind is very empowering for them. By concentrating on the other
person and solving the problem through an orderly structure, their
powerful focus helps create productive results.
These people have a tremendous ability to translate the flow of
life into organized form. Once they have a specific goal, everything
seems to “fall into place.” The key for them is focus—by simply
focusing on their objective, the steps unfold before them in a
perfect, orderly sequence that proves to be the most efficient way of
reaching their goal. In difficult situations they can see the areas of
volatility, and by putting energy into creating a more stable base at
the beginning, they prevent things from blowing up later on.
The ability to perfect things in the physical realm is a gift they
were born with—and they are far better at it than anyone else on the
planet. Yet it is a new gift, and they may not know they have it. It is
like finding a “new room” inside themselves that holds talents for
restoring things to order, analyzing, and successfully applying
spiritual ethics in the material world. If they can open the door to
that new room, they will find they have gifts for bringing a vision of
spiritual love and order into their environment.
In past lives, Virgo North Node people gained a spiritual
understanding of life. Although much of what they learned was
accurate, some of the teachings were inaccurate or incomplete.
They can learn to discriminate by experimenting with what actually
works on a tangible level. For example, they may have been taught
that having a compassionate love for all beings is Truth, but they
may not have been taught the nuts and bolts of how to apply that
Truth in the world, as it currently exists, in ways that are not
harmful to themselves or others. It’s up to them to learn how to do it
—and they are experts at practical application once they realize that
this is what they need to do.
These people are learning the lessons of clarity and
discrimination in every area of their lives: what is real and what is
fantasy; what is beneficial and what is destructive; who really needs
their help and who just wants sympathy; when they are serving and
when they are being victimized. They need to differentiate so that
they can clear their consciousness and begin to create an efficient
order that brings strength, stability, and confidence to their lives.
The folks in this nodal group usually are accurate in their
intuitive sense of a situation but don’t trust themselves until they
have the details to back up their intuition. This process can lead to
“selective viewing”—only seeing information that will substantiate
their hunch. For example, if they project that a person is a certain
way, eventually the person will do something that—taken out of
context—supports their theory. But the whole process is really in
their own minds.
If, on the other hand, they feel uneasy with someone but are able
to put aside their feelings and watch the reality of that person, they
can find out what is actually going on. But they must be objective.
For example, if they think that someone keeps putting them down,
the best thing is to stand aside and watch how that person behaves
toward others. If that person is putting others down, then they know
their feeling is justified.
Virgo North Node people must fight against a tendency to give
up. Overcoming opposition is part of the process necessary for them
to gain inner strength and self-confidence. All of us lack confidence
in areas where we lack experience. The difference is that most
people don’t surrender when faced with opposition. In this lifetime,
Virgo North Node people are learning not to give up.
One resolution to the habitual pattern of withdrawal and
surrender is to realize that their life doesn’t get any better when they
pull inward and give up. The universe keeps bringing them the same
situation—with different people—so they can break through it and
experience the vitality of life. People who are involved with these
folks need to recognize that when Virgo North Nodes pull back,
they don’t mean to be hurtful. Sometimes they need their partners to
pry them loose from their self-imposed isolation. However, this
must be done gently, with acceptance and love, rather than in a
condemning or harsh way. At times, rescue is nice for these folks.
When a crisis occurs, they must fight their tendency to not
interfere and instead increase their participation in a constructive
way. Then they win, and so does everyone around them. For
example, I had a Virgo North Node client who had been head over
heels in love with a man, and he with her, for five years. They
seemed the perfect match. However, she was seven years older, a
factor that—unknown to her—troubled him. One day he came to
her in great pain and broke off the relationship, explaining that the
only reason was the age difference. My client was devastated, but
rather than object she pulled back and allowed him to leave. He
went to Europe, married a woman younger than himself, and had a
child. He came back on business and took my client to dinner. He
was miserable, still in love with her, but it was too late to turn
everyone’s lives around. Rather than withdraw, my client should
have moved forward and participated in creating the results she
desired by saying: “Wait a minute, we can work this out.” The
results might have been a victory for them both.
Virgo North Node people sometimes respond to others in
extremes, being overly focused or totally unfocused; too trusting or
too suspicious; a complete doormat or totally aloof and
invulnerable. They can be very intense emotionally. To avoid
problems they need to concentrate on the practical aspects of each
situation, make accurate evaluations of the people involved, and
then decide on the “appropriate” energy and the most productive
approach.
This problem with extremes is also related to their tendency to
daydream rather than to focus on the changing details of the here
and now. For example, if Virgo North Node people are involved in a
relationship where they are getting hurt, it takes them a long time to
recognize what is happening. They’re lost in their daydreams about
the relationship, rather than being present on a moment-to-moment
basis. When they “come to” and realize what is going on, they
withdraw. But they tend to withdraw too far, for too long, and not
notice if the relationship changes to better accommodate their
needs. They inadvertently give inaccurate signals to their mate or
co-workers, first giving the impression that they can be taken
advantage of without objecting, and then suddenly becoming totally
unreachable. By staying present in the situation as it unfolds, these
folks can adapt their responses to the reality of what is happening
and have more positive relationships.
Virgo North Node people are learning to act with moderation in
every aspect of their lives. This is easy when they take
circumstances into account objectively. They only go to extremes
when they are absorbed in their own reactions to outside stimuli.
The path of moderation is found by taking other people into
account, focusing on the details of what is going on, and working
out a practical resolution to the situation at hand. These folks must
learn to deal with life on a practical, goal-oriented level.
For example, if they own a business and are upset with their
employees, they should not overlook what is happening out of
compassion, or react with self-sacrifice and become a workaholic,
or get angry at the employees. They need to objectively observe the
details of the situation, and put together a set of rules and
regulations that become part of the work environment. Only those
employees who follow the rules will be allowed to stay. Actually,
these folks have great job karma, and their employees and
coworkers invariably love them. Yet to prevent being taken
advantage of, they must define job boundaries and put them in
writing. This translates their vision for their employees and allows
everyone to work together toward a common goal.
Virgo North Node people gravitate to situations where
something needs to be done to correct an existing problem. Since
they have the ability to solve problems in situations of chaos or
neglect, their job is to create order by participating in the physical
world to set things right. When these folks see chaotic situations
around them, their first reaction (past-life tendency) is to withdraw,
and the whole thing falls apart. In this lifetime, when something
isn’t working, they need to roll up their sleeves and get further into
it. When they give up, everybody loses—because others are
counting on them, subconsciously, to get involved. When there’s a
problem, it’s the universe saying to them: “Hey—we need some
help here in the material world!”
It is also very important for Virgo North Node people to keep an
orderly environment, both in the home and at work. Having order
and organization around them gives them clarity and strength in
their daily lives. It is essential that these folks, more than any other
nodal position, take the time to keep themselves organized on the
physical level.
On the psychological level, chaos and confusion are especially
detrimental; these things undermine their confidence to operate in
the world. Having their physical environment in order gives them a
sense of psychological order, which empowers them to function
confidently.
Actually, the process of ordering the environment is healthy for
Virgo North Node people. When they feel a sense of inner anxiety
—whether they are male or female—sometimes the best thing is to
pick up the vacuum cleaner. Going through paperwork, doing the
dishes, dusting, putting the environment in order—simple tasks can
be therapeutic for these folks. Physically moving in a constructive
way transforms their inner anxiety into productivity.
In the area of planning, these folks sometimes go to extremes.
They can spend so much time planning their lives that they forget to
live them. This may appear as an overly conscientious, workaholic
phase. Then they compensate by not planning anything at all, lose
their strength, and dissolve into a life with no boundaries. It is two
sides of the same coin: the desire to become lost—either in activity
or formlessness—and not to take responsibility for creating the
structures that would give balance to their lives. Much of this
tendency is owing to past-life experiences when other people were
responsible for creating their routines. However, in this lifetime it’s
up to them.
To give their lives proper structure and meaning, Virgo North
Node people need to consciously define their goals and be able to
adjust their use of time accordingly. What works best is to allot time
(whether it is one-half hour each morning, or two hours once a
week) for consistently re-evaluating their schedules. For example,
they may determine that they need time for work, exercise,
friendships, play, romance, meditation, music, and so on. It is to
their advantage to make a list of the various aspects of their life that
are important to them and consciously structure their weekly routine
to allot time for each. This can help them considerably in achieving
a fulfilled and balanced life.
Also, as they organize themselves in a physical way, they gain a
clearer picture of exactly “where they are” in different areas of their
lives. For example, I had a client with this nodal position who felt
vaguely suspicious about her stockbroker. To settle her fears, she
took all her records of stock sales since she had been working with
him and calculated exactly how much money she had made on the
transactions, and how much money he had made on the
commissions. Once she had the facts and figures in front of her she
could determine the reality of the situation, and her feelings of
anxiety dissolved.