DR. SADARANGANI, CARLISLE’S FRIEND, DID MAKE THINGS SMOOTHER. Carlisle had him paged while they were still bringing a gurney for Bella. It only took minutes for Dr. Sadarangani to get Bella started on her first transfusion. Once she was receiving blood, Carlisle relaxed. He was fairly sure that everything else was in order.
It was not so easy for me to be calm. Of course I trusted Carlisle, and Dr. Sadarangani seemed competent. I could read their honest judgment of her status. I heard the wonder of Dr. Sadarangani and the doctors on his team when they inspected the perfect suturing of Bella’s wounds, the impeccable setting of her leg in the field. I heard Dr. Sadarangani behind closed doors, regaling his coworkers with tales of Dr. Cullen’s exploits in the inner-city hospital in Baltimore where they’d worked together fourteen years ago. I heard the surprise he voiced at Carlisle’s unchanged appearance, and his silent suspicions that—despite Carlisle’s claims that the cool, humid air of the Pacific Northwest was a natural fountain of youth—Carlisle had been experimenting in plastics. He was sanguine enough about Bella’s case to beg Carlisle to look in on a few of his as yet undiagnosed patients, declaring to his interns that they would never see a better diagnostician than Dr. Cullen. And Carlisle was confident enough in her condition that he agreed to go help others.
But this wasn’t life or death for either of them the way it was for me. That was my life on the gurney. My life, pale and unresponsive, covered in tubes and tape and plaster. I kept myself together as best I could.
As the attending physician, Dr. Sadarangani had made the first call to Charlie, which was painful to listen to. Carlisle quickly took over for him and explained the fictional version of what he and I were doing here as succinctly as possible, assured Charlie that everything was going well, and promised to call soon with more information. I could hear the panic in Charlie’s voice and was sure that he was no more persuaded than I.
It didn’t take very long before Bella was presumed in stable condition and placed in a recovery room. Alice hadn’t even returned from her errands.
The new blood pulsing through Bella’s body altered her scent in a way I should have anticipated, but it took me by surprise. While I was aware of a significant lessening of my thirst-pain, I didn’t enjoy the change. This strange blood seemed an interloper, alien. It wasn’t part of her and I resented the intrusion, irrational as that was. Her scent would begin to return in just twenty-four hours, before she’d even woken up. But she would not entirely replace that which was lost for many weeks. Regardless, this brief distortion was too strong a reminder that, at some point in the future, the scent that had compelled me for so long would be lost to me forever.
Everything had been done that could be done. Now there was nothing left but the waiting.
During the interminable lull, there were few things that could hold my attention. I updated Esme. Alice returned, but left quickly when she saw that I would rather be alone. I stared through the east-facing window at a busy road and a few modest skyscrapers. I listened to the steady beat of her heart to stay sane.
A few conversations, however, had some significance for me.
Carlisle waited until he was in Bella’s room with me to call Charlie again. He knew I would want to listen.
“Hello, Charlie.”
“Carlisle? What’s happening?”
“She’s had a transfusion and an MRI. Things look very good so far. It doesn’t appear there are any internal injuries we missed.”
“Can I talk to her?”
“They’re keeping her sedated for a while. It’s perfectly normal. She would be in too much pain if she were awake.” I winced while Carlisle continued. “She needs to heal for a few days.”
“Are you sure everything is okay?”
“I promise you, Charlie. I will tell you the moment there is something to worry about. She really is going to be fine. She’ll be on crutches for a while, but other than that, she’ll be back to normal.”
“Thank you, Carlisle. I’m so glad you were there.”
“So am I.”
“I know this must be putting you out—”
“Don’t even mention it, Charlie. I’m only too happy to stay with Bella till she’s ready to come home.”
“I’ll admit, that does make me feel a lot better. Will… will Edward be staying, too? I mean, with school and everything…”
“He’s already spoken with his teachers,” Carlisle said, though actually Alice was the one who would set everything up, “and they’re letting him work remotely. He’s keeping track of Bella’s homework, too, though I’m sure the teachers will cut her a break.” Carlisle pitched his voice a bit lower. “He’s gutted about all this, you know.”
“I’m not sure I understand. He—Edward talked you into going to all the way to Phoenix?”
“Yes. He was extremely concerned when Bella left. He felt responsible. He thought he had to put it right.”
“What even happened?” Charlie asked, sounding bewildered. “One minute everything is normal and then Bella is shrieking about liking your boy, and that being a problem, and then she’s running out in the middle of the night? Did you get anything coherent out of yours?”
“Yes, we had time to discuss everything on the way here. I guess Edward told Bella how much he cares for her. He said at first she seemed happy, but then something clearly started to bother her. She got upset and wanted to go home. When they got there, she told him to go away.”
“Yeah, I was there for that.”
“Edward still doesn’t understand what it was all about. They didn’t have a chance to talk before…”
Charlie sighed. “That part I get. It’s some complicated stuff with her mother. She was overreacting just a little, I think.”
“I’m sure she had her reasons.”
Charlie harrumphed uncomfortably. “But what do you think about all this, Carlisle? I mean, they’re just teenagers. Isn’t this a little… intense?”
Carlisle’s answering laugh was breezy. “Don’t you remember being seventeen?”
“Not really, no.”
Carlisle laughed again. “Do you remember the first time you fell in love?”
Charlie was quiet for a minute. “Yeah, I do. Hard stuff to forget.”
“It is indeed.” Carlisle sighed. “I’m so sorry, Charlie. If we hadn’t come here, she wouldn’t have even been in that stairwell in the first place.”
“Now, now, don’t start with that, Carlisle. If you weren’t there, she could have fallen through a window anywhere. And she wouldn’t have been so lucky if you weren’t close by.”
“I’m just happy she’s safe.”
“It’s killing me not to be there.”
“I’d happily arrange a flight—”
“No, that’s not the problem.” Charlie sighed. “You know we don’t get a lot of serious crime up here, but that nasty assault case from last summer is finally going to trial and if I’m not here to testify, it would only help the defense.”
“Of course, Charlie. There’s no need for you to worry. Do your job, put the bad guy away, and I’ll make sure Bella is back to you in good condition, very soon.”
“I wouldn’t be able to stay in my right mind if you weren’t there. So thank you again. I’m sending Renée out. That will probably make Bella happier anyway.”
“That’s a wonderful idea. I’m delighted to get the chance to meet Bella’s mother.”
“I’m warning you now, she’ll make a fuss.”
“That’s certainly her prerogative as a mother.”
“Thank you again, Carlisle. Thank you for taking care of my girl.”
“Of course, Charlie.”
Carlisle only sat with me a few moments after he disconnected. It was always difficult for him to sit still inside a hospital full of suffering humans. It should have made me feel better that he had no concerns about leaving Bella. It didn’t.
The next significant thing to happen was the arrival of Bella’s mother. It was nearly midnight when Alice let me know that Renée would be in Bella’s room in fifteen minutes.
I tried to clean myself up a little in the attached bathroom. Alice had brought us the new clothes, so I wasn’t looking macabre, at least. Fortunately, by the time I’d thought to check, my eyes were back to normal, a dark ocher. Not that a small ring of red would have been so noticeable with everything else that was going on; I just didn’t want to see it myself.
Done with that, I went back to brooding. I wondered if Bella’s mother would hold me more responsible than her father had. If either of them had known the real story…
My wallowing was abruptly interrupted by something unexpected. Something I’d never heard before, which was rare indeed: a voice so clear and strong that for a second I thought someone had come in the room without my noticing.
My daughter. Please, someone. Where do I go? My baby…
My next thought was that someone was shouting or screaming in the hospital lobby downstairs—as that seemed to be the location of the voice, now that I was concentrating—but no one had noticed a ruckus.
However, they had all noticed something else.
A woman, maybe thirty, maybe older. Pretty, but visibly distraught. Her distress was eye-catching, conspicuous, though she stood quietly in an out of the way corner, seeming unsure. Several orderlies and two nurses with places to be paused to see what she needed.
It was obviously Bella’s mother. I’d seen her in Charlie’s mind, and she bore a striking resemblance to her daughter. I’d thought Charlie’s memory was of Renée as a younger woman, but it could also have been more current. She hadn’t aged much. I guessed that she and Bella would often be mistaken for sisters.
“I’m looking for my daughter. She came in this afternoon. She was in an accident. She fell through a window.…”
Renée’s physical voice was perfectly normal, similar to but a little higher pitched than Bella’s own. Her mental voice, however, was piercing.
It was fascinating to watch how the other minds responded. No one seemed to notice the ringing mental broadcast, yet everyone was compelled to help her. Somehow, they were picking up on her need, and unable to ignore it. I listened, mesmerized by the interplay between her mind and theirs. An orderly and a nurse led her through the halls, towing her small bag for her, anxious to help.
I remembered my earlier speculations about Bella’s mother—my curiosity to understand what kind of mind had combined with Charlie’s to create someone as distinct and unusual as Bella.
Renée was the opposite of Charlie. I wondered whether that was somehow what had brought them together in the beginning.
With her redundant number of guides, it didn’t take Renée long to find Bella’s room. She picked up another escort on her way: Bella’s assigned RN, who was immediately drawn to Renée’s urgency.
For a moment, I imagined Renée as a vampire. Would her thoughts shout audibly at everyone, inescapable? I couldn’t imagine that she would be very popular. I was surprised to find myself smiling at the thought—well and truly distracted.
Renée hurried into the room, dropping her bag at the door, the RN close beside her. At first Renée didn’t notice me leaning against the window, her eyes only for her daughter. Bella lay unmoving, the bruises just starting to bloom across her face. Her head was wrapped in gauze—though Carlisle had managed to keep them from shaving her hair—and there were tubes and monitors hooked to her everywhere. Her broken leg was casted from toes to thigh, and elevated on a contoured foam support.
Bella, oh baby, look at you. Oh no.
Another similarity to Bella—Renée’s blood was sweet. Not in the same way as Bella’s. Renée’s was too sweet, almost cloying. It was an interesting, if not entirely appealing, fragrance. I’d never noticed anything unusual about Charlie’s scent, but combined with Renée’s it had made for something potent.
“She’s sedated,” the RN said quickly as Renée approached the bed, hands outstretched. “She’ll be out for a bit, but you’ll be able to talk to her in a few days.”
“Can I touch her?” It was a whisper and a shout.
“Sure, you can pat her arm right there if you like, just be gentle.”
Renée stood by her daughter and rested two fingers lightly against Bella’s forearm. Tears started to cascade down Renée’s cheeks, and the RN put a motherly arm around her. It was hard for me to hold my place. I wanted to comfort her, too.
I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry.
“There, there, honey. She’s gonna be fine, all right? That pretty doctor stitched her up as neat as I’ve ever seen. You don’t need to cry, hon. Why don’t you come sit over here and relax? It was a long flight, I bet. You came in from Georgia?”
Renée sniffed. “Florida.”
“You must be exhausted. Your daughter’s not going anywhere and she’s not doing any tricks, either. Why don’t you try to get some sleep, hon?”
Renée let herself be led toward the blue vinyl recliner in the corner of the room.
“Do you need anything? We’ve got some toiletries at the counter if you want to freshen up,” the nurse offered. She was a grandmotherly type, with long gray hair rolled into a bun on top of her head. Her nametag said “Gloria.” I’d met her earlier and not noticed her much, but I found myself feeling fondly toward her now. Was that for her kindness, or was I reacting to Renée’s appreciation? What a strange thing it was, being near someone who projected—apparently totally unconsciously—her thoughts this way. I supposed it was a little like Jasper, though rough and unsophisticated in comparison. And it wasn’t emotional projection, it was definitely her thoughts. Only I was aware I was hearing them.
This gave new dimension to what Bella’s life with her mother must have been. No wonder she had been so protective, so nurturing. No wonder she’d given up her childhood to take care of this woman.
“I’ve got my things.” Renée nodded tiredly to the small suitcase in the doorway.
I was feeling a bit like an elephant in the room. Neither of them had noticed me yet, though I was quite obvious. The lights were dimmed for nighttime, but still bright enough for the nurses to do their work.
I decided to announce my presence.
“Let me get that for you.”
I moved quickly to place her bag on a small counter convenient to the recliner.
Like Charlie’s, Renée’s first reaction was a sudden spike of fear and adrenaline. She shook that off quickly, assuming she was just overtired and my unexpected movement had startled her.
I’m so jumpy. But who could this be? Um, hmm. Is this the pretty doctor? He looks too young.
“Oh, hey there, son,” Gloria said, a little disapproving. She’d had time to grow used to both Carlisle and me. “I thought you’d gone home.”
“My father asked me to keep an eye on Bella while he’s helping Dr. Sadarangani. He left me some specific things he wanted watched.” I’d used the same excuse several times today. I’d said it with confidence, and the nurses had let their objections slide.
“Are they still at it? They’re going to fall asleep standing up.”
Of course, Dr. Sadarangani had long ago headed home. But he’d introduced Carlisle to the hematologist on the night shift, and Carlisle was off consulting on some of the more difficult cases.
Bella’s mother was broadcasting her confusion. Gloria jumped in to make the introductions.
“This is Dr. Cullen’s son. Dr. Cullen is the one who saved your daughter’s life.”
“You’re Edward,” Renée realized.
This is the boyfriend? Oh boy. Bella doesn’t stand a chance.
“I only have the one recliner, honey,” Gloria said, “and I think Mrs. Dwyer needs it more than you.”
“Of course. I slept earlier. I’m perfectly comfortable standing.”
“It’s very late.…”
I want to talk to him.
“It’s fine,” Renée said out loud. “I’d like to hear about the accident, if it’s okay. We’ll be very quiet.”
I wanted to laugh at that.
“Of course. I’ll just do my rounds and check in later on. Try to get some rest, hon.”
I smiled as warmly as I could at the woman, and she softened a little.
Poor kid. He’s really worried. Won’t hurt anything if he stays, especially with the mom here.
I walked over to Renée and held my hand out. She shook it weakly without standing, exhausted. She recoiled slightly from the chill; an echo of her earlier adrenaline rush washed through her.
“Oh, sorry, the AC is freezing in here. I’m Edward Cullen. I’m very glad to meet you, Mrs. Dwyer, I just wish it was under better circumstances.”
He sounds very mature. The room resonated with her approval.
“Call me Renée,” she said automatically. “I… I’m sorry, I’m not really myself.”
My, but he’s handsome.
“Of course you’re not. You should rest, as the nurse said.”
“No,” Renée objected quietly—in her physical voice, at least. “Do you mind talking with me for just a minute?”
“Of course not,” I answered. “I’m sure you have a thousand questions.”
I picked up the molded plastic chair from beside Bella’s bed and moved it closer to Renée.
“She didn’t tell me about you,” Renée announced. Her thoughts rang with hurt.
“I… I’m sorry. We haven’t been… dating for very long.”
Renée nodded, and then sighed. “I think it’s my fault. Things have been stressful with Phil’s schedule and, well, I haven’t been the best listener.”
“I’m sure she would have told you soon.” And then, in the face of her self-doubt, I lied. “I didn’t tell my parents for a bit, either. I think neither of us wanted to jinx things by speaking too soon. It’s a little silly.”
Renée smiled. That’s sweet. “It’s not silly.”
I smiled back.
What a heartbreaking smile. Oh, I hope he’s not playing with her.
I found myself stumbling to reassure her. “I’m so sorry about what happened. I feel horribly responsible and I’d do anything to make it right. If I could trade places with her, I’d do it.” Nothing but the truth there.
She reached out to pat my arm. I was glad the sleeve was thick enough to conceal my skin’s temperature. “It’s not your fault, Edward.”
I wished she were right.
“Charlie told me some of the story, but he was pretty confused,” she said.
“I think we all were. Bella, too.” I thought of that night, so innocent to begin with, all pleasure and happiness. How quickly everything had gone awry. I felt as though I was still trying to catch up.
“That’s my fault,” Renée said, suddenly miserable. “I think I messed my girl up. For her to run away because she cares about you—that’s all on me.”
“No, don’t think that.” I knew how much it had hurt Bella to say those things to Charlie. I could imagine what she would feel to know her mother was taking this on herself. “Bella’s a very strong-willed person. She does what she wants. Anyway, she probably just needed some sun.”
Renée smiled a tiny bit at that. “Maybe.”
“Did you want to hear about the accident?”
“No, I just said that to the nurse. Bella fell down some stairs, it’s not that unusual.” It was amazing how easily both of her parents accepted the story. “The window was unfortunate.”
“Very.”
“I just wanted to get to know you a little. Bella wouldn’t be acting this way if her feelings were mild. She’s never cared seriously about anyone before. I’m not sure she knows what to do.”
I smiled at her again. “She and I both.”
Sure, handsome, she thought doubtfully. He’s very smooth.
“Be gentle with my baby,” she ordered, more forceful. “She feels things very deeply.”
“I promise you I will never do anything to hurt her.” I said the words, and I meant them in the strongest way—I would give anything to keep Bella happy and safe—but I wasn’t sure they were true. Because what would hurt Bella the most? I couldn’t escape the truest answer.
Pomegranate seeds and my underworld. Hadn’t I just witnessed a brutal example of how badly my world could go wrong for her? And she was lying here broken because of it.
Surely, keeping her with me would be the greatest hurt possible.
Hmm, he thinks he means it. Well, people get broken hearts, and then they recover. It’s part of life. But then she thought of Charlie’s face and was uneasy. I can’t think, I’m so tired. It will all make sense in the morning.
“You should sleep. It’s very late in Florida.” I could hear how distorted with pain my voice had become, but she didn’t know my voice that well.
She nodded, eyes drooping. “Wake me if she needs anything?”
“Yes, I will.”
She nestled into her uncomfortable chair and was quickly unconscious.
I moved my chair back to Bella’s side. It was strange to see her so still in sleep. I wished more than anything that she would start mumbling something from her dreams. I wondered whether I was there with her, in the dark. I didn’t know if it was right to hope that I was.
While I listened to mother and daughter breathe, I thought about Alice for the first time since she’d left me here alone. It was unlike her to give me this much space, no matter how desperate my mental state. I realized I’d been expecting her to check on Bella and me for some time now. And I could only guess one reason why she had avoided me instead.
I’d had plenty of time to process the events of the day, but I hadn’t. I’d just stared at Bella and wished fruitlessly that I’d been more, that I’d been better. That I’d found the right thing and stuck to it before this nightmare could have touched her.