Divorce takes place first in the mind; the legal proceedings follow after.
These two young people were full of resentment, fear, suspicion and
anger. These attitudes weaken, exhaust and debilitate the whole being.
They learned that hate divides and that love unites. They began to realize
what they had been doing with their minds. Neither one of them knew the
law of mental action, and they were misusing their minds and bringing on
chaos and misery. These two people went back together at my suggestion
and experimented with prayer therapy.
They began to radiate love, peace and good will to each other. Each one
practiced radiating harmony, health, peace and love to the other and they
alternated in the reading of the Psalms every night. Their marriage is
growing more beautiful every day.
Many times the reason the wife nags is because she gets no attention. Oftentimes, it is a craving for love and affection. Give your wife attention
and show your appreciation. Praise and exalt all her many good points.
There is also the nagging type of woman who wants to make the man
conform to her particular patter. This is about the quickest way in the
world to get rid of a man.
The wife and the husband must cease being scavengers always looking at
the petty faults or errors in each other. Let each give attention and praise
for the constructive and wonderful qualities in the other.
If a man begins to brood, grows morbid against his wife because of the
things she said or did, he is, psychologically speaking, committing adultery. One of the meanings of adultery is idolatry, i.e. giving attention to or
uniting mentally with that which is negative and destructive. When a man
is silently resenting his wife and is full of hostility toward her, he is unfaithful. He is not faithful to his marriage vows which are to love, cherish
and honor her all the days of his life.
The man who is brooding, bitter and resentful can swallow his sharp remarks, abate his anger and he can go to great lengths to be considerate,
kind and courteous. He can deftly skirt the differences. Through praise
and mental effort, he can get out of the habit of antagonism. Then, he will
be able to get along better, not only with his wife, but with business associates also. Assume the harmonious state and eventually you will find
peace and harmony.
A great mistake is to discuss your marital problems or difficulties with
neighbors and relatives. Suppose, for example, a wife say to the neighbor,
“John never gives me any money. He treats my mother abominably,
drinks to excess and is constantly abusive and insulting.”
Now, this wife is degrading and belittling her husband in the eyes of all
the neighbors and relatives. He no longer appears as the ideal husband to
them. Never discuss your marital problems with anyone except a trained
counselor. Why cause numerous people to think negatively of your marriage? Moreover, as you discuss and dwell upon these shortcomings of
your husband, you are actually creating these states within yourself. Who
is thinking and feeling it? You are! As you think and feel, so are you.
Relatives will usually give you the wrong advice. It is usually biased and
prejudiced because it is not given in an impersonal way. Any advice you
receive which violates the golden rule which is a cosmic law, is not good
or sound.
It is well to remember that no two human beings ever lived beneath the
same roof without clashes of temperament, periods of hurts and stain.
Never display the unhappy side of your marriage to your friends. Keep
your quarrels to yourself. Refrain from criticism and condemnation of your
partner.
A husband must not try to make his wife into a second edition of himself.
The tactless attempt to change her in many ways is foreign to her nature.
These attempts are always foolish and many times result in a dissolution
of the marriage. These attempts to alter her, destroy her pride and selfesteem, and arouse a spirit of contrariness and resentment that proves
fatal to the marriage bond.
Adjustments are needed, of course, but if you have a good look inside
your own mind, and study your character and behavior, you will find so
many shortcomings; they will keep you busy the rest of your life. If you
say, “I will make him over into what I want,” you are looking for trouble
and the divorce court. You are asking for misery. You will have to learn
the hard way that there is no one to change but yourself.
Never carry over from one day to another accumulated irritations arising
from little disappointments. Be sure to forgive each other for any sharpness before you retire at night. The moment you awaken in the morning, claim Infinite Intelligence is guiding you in all your ways. Send out loving
thoughts of peace, harmony and love to your marriage partner, to all
members of the family and to the whole world.
Say grace at breakfast. Give thanks for the wonderful food, for your abundance and for all your blessings. Makes sure that no problems, worries or
arguments shall enter into the table conversation; the same applies at
dinner time. Say to your wife or husband, “I appreciate all you are doing
and I radiate love and good will to you all day long.”
The husband and wife should alternate in praying each night. Do not take
your marriage partner for granted. Show your appreciation and love.
Think appreciation and good will, rather than condemnation, criticism and
nagging. The way to build a peaceful home and a happy marriage is to
use a foundation of love, beauty, harmony, mutual respect, faith in God
and all things good. Read the 23rd, 27th and 91st Psalms, the 11th chapter
of Hebrews, the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians and other great texts of the
Bible before going to sleep. As you practice these truths, your marriage
will grow more and more blessed through the years.
1. Ignorance of mental and spiritual laws is the cause of all marital unhappiness. By praying scientifically together, you stay together.
2. The best time to prevent divorce is before marriage. If you learn how
to pray in the right way, you will attract the right mate for you.
3. Marriage is the union of a man and woman who are bound together by
love. Their hearts beat as one and they move onward, upward and Godward.
4. Marriage does not bequeath happiness. People find happiness by
dwelling on the eternal truths of God and the spiritual values of life. Then,
the man and woman can contribute to each other’s happiness and joy.
5. You attract the right mate by dwelling on the qualities and characteristics you admire in a woman or a man, and then your subconscious mind
will bring you together in divine order.
6. You must build into your mentality the mental equivalent of what you
want in a marriage partner. If you want to attract an honest, sincere and
loving partner in life, you must be honest, sincere and loving yourself.
7. You do not have to repeat mistakes in marriage. When you really be lieve you can have the type of man or woman you idealize, it is done unto
you as you believe. To believe is to accept something as true. Accept your
ideal companion now mentally.
8. Do not wonder how, why or where you will meet that mate you are
praying for. Trust implicitly the wisdom of your subconscious mind. It has
the “know-how,” and you don’t have to assist it.
9. You are mentally divorced when you indulge in peeves, grudges, ill will
and hostility toward your marriage partner. You are mentally dwelling with
error in the bed of your mind. Adhere to your marriage vows, “I promise
to cherish, love and honor him (her) all the days of my life.”
10. Cease projecting fear patterns to your marriage partner. Project love,
peace, harmony and good will and your marriage will grow more beautiful
and more wonderful through the years.
11. Radiate love, peace and good will to each other. These vibrations are
picked up by the subconscious mind resulting in mutual trust, affection
and respect.
12. A nagging wife is usually seeking attention and appreciation. She is
craving for love and affection. Praise and exalt her many good points.
Show her that you love her and appreciate her.
13. A man who loves his wife does not do anything unloving or unkind in
word, manner or action. Love is what love does.
14. In marital problems, always seek expert advice. You would not go to a
carpenter to pull a tooth; neither should you discuss your marriage problems with relatives or friends. You should go to a trained person for counsel.
15. Never try to make your wife or husband over. These attempts are always foolish and tend to destroy the pride and self esteem of the other.
Moreover, it arouses a spirit of resentment that proves fatal to the marriage bond. Cease trying to make the other a second edition of yourself.
16. Pray together and you will stay together. Scientific prayer solves all
problems. Mentally picture your wife as she ought to be, joyous, happy,
healthy and beautiful. See your husband as he ought to be, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and kind. Maintain this mental picture and you
will experience the marriage made in heaven which is harmony and
peace.