How does being honest with yourself come into play with surrender?
You cannot surrender unless you are absolutely honest with yourself. If you hold back, you don’t get the same results that you are looking for. You will know that you are not being honest. You will feel it. You internalize it.
You know it.
When you ultimately surrender are you surrendering observation as well?
It is a combination of the two. Observation is how you communicate the damage that was done, whether a visual or a mental observation. You acknowledge how it became a part of you. It is how the experience was recorded and, therefore, it is part of the process that is removed.
When you’re in a life or death situation, how or when do you know if you should just surrender rather than take some kind of direct action?
You go through all of the natural physical responses. How extreme those physical responses are depends on your training and how you perceive the situation. If somebody has a gun in the room, you will obviously perceive this as a threatening situation. Your physical body may lock up. You may not believe that could happen, but it will. You may seek a
method of escape or you may start hyperventilating. There is a point that your mind takes over, but your body will still go haywire.
Naturally, you want to survive and the survival mechanism is what you should be utilizing. Surrender, in this particular case, is not the process that you want to use. If you are in a situation where there is nothing you can do and you want to live, you do not have to ask yourself that question. You already know the answer. It is your intention. Just surrender and say, “Okay.
I’m surrendering this situation because it is above and beyond my control. I am letting the Universe come into me knowing that what I really want is to live. I want to see my family. I want to say my good-byes if I am going to pass. But I accept the situation, no matter how it is dealt to me.” You internalize all that.
One time someone pointed a gun right at me, pulled the trigger and it didn’t fire. I’m not going to say the same thing will happen to you, but I am willing to bet on my particular situation. It was a good-working gun. The trigger was pulled, but the mechanism didn’t work. I think the Universe will hear your request without asking, if you accept the situation for what it is.
When you talk about being conscious as well as having flow, is that a different way of describing the state of surrender?
No, but it is very similar. When you are not surrendering, you are stiff.
You are rigid. You may not even realize it. If you stop right now and think about your body and your mind, you realize that you are very much in the now except more structured. Your consciousness is very thick. When you surrender, you must become like a reed in the wind. When the wind is blowing if it is an old stale, thin branch, it will snap off. It cannot resist the power of the blowing wind. When you are imitating that, you are limber and swing randomly left, right, up, down, back, right and left. It is like you cannot even feel it.
If you observe the trees and the leaves, there is a certain dance of synchronicity that happens. It’s harmonized, meditative, and very relaxing.
Flow comes from surrender. The most powerful force in the Universe comes from surrender. You are not physically designed to handle the full
potency of the Universe moving through you at any given moment. When you are fluidic and surrender your sense of controlling how you want to be, then the Universe can move through you without harming you. It is profoundly powerful. It is profoundly perfect in its movements. You want to be in a state of surrender. You know that as you work with it, you will develop that sense. Then when you are unconsciously thinking about it, you will just react.
The Universe is neither male nor female. It is a balance of the two.
More specifically, it is a combination of both masculine and feminine energy that creates a third polarity. And that polarity is a balanced masculine and feminine energy which is a relaxed state of being. There is a power that flows from it: the feminine being flexibility and the masculine being potential or the amount of creation that comes from it. In essence, you are in a state of surrender and you have a certain confidence of trust that emanates from it. That is the masculine and feminine polarity within.
You can emotionally allow it to move through you.
The ideal for many Eastern spiritual methodologies is to achieve a state of non-dual awareness permanently. Can non-dualism or seeking the state within permanently prevent someone from truly surrendering?
That is like detachment from reality. I disagree with that philosophy.
You are here to experience this dimension. You are here to be plugged in.
Do not deny that; accept it and then you can find the correct balance between the two.
Many seekers believe that by pursuing spiritual growth, they desire it.
They think that enlightenment is something that you cannot pursue and it is only achieved by letting go or surrendering all desire.
You acknowledge your intention by the simple act of giving up everything. You can desire to achieve enlightenment; there is nothing wrong with that. You can want this absolute level of higher consciousness, if you will. Just because it is what you are looking for does not mean that it is going to affect how you achieve it.
You have to give up your ego or your desire to want it, but you still have to acknowledge what you are trying to give up in order to get it.
Accept it, and when you accept and internalize it, do not make a big deal about it. Just know that it is something that you’re trying to achieve.
You do not need to abandon your desire of wanting enlightenment but do not think about wanting it at the same time. If you surrender the ego, the ego includes what you are trying to achieve. You are simply surrendering.
Yes, it is true what they are saying. But what is the point of acknowledging it just to make an issue of it? By making it an issue, you create an even bigger duality just by thinking about it.
Is this surrendering the same as Buddhist detachment?
In Buddhism, detachment means to let go of your need for material things. There is some truth to this, but do not take it to the extreme like the Buddhists do because it detaches you from your life experiences. You need to have those experiences because you should experience life in its fullest.
It’s really about your perspective in life rather than the need to detach from it.
I want to experience. I want to know that I was alive while I was on Earth. I just do not want to cling to all the negative experiences that are part of my journey, letting them anchor me into a non-functioning being. I want to be alive. I want to feel the grass under my feet. I want to laugh with my friends. I want to watch a sunrise. I want to dance with my partner. I want to experience life to the fullest. Along the path, there are always a few jerks and a few lousy experiences that you have to deal with, but I don’t want that to stop me from appreciating life, the creation of God. If you want me to experience detachment, to what level is your expectation and from what perspective? I do not want to be detached from life.
It is not about wanting or not wanting a car or having or not having a car. Want it. Have whatever car you desire to have, but don’t let it engross you. Don’t let it control you or dominate you. You can say, “I have an old beat-up car and you have a sports car. It just shows that I am more detached from necessity than you are.” Well, you can have a horse-drawn carriage if you really want to. You can walk everywhere if you want to. You can give
up your shoes if you really want to. You can give up all your clothing and your robes if you want to. It is a matter of personal choice.
What it really comes down to is this: Who are you in your life? Are you kind? Are you compassionate? Are you forgiving? Do you enjoy the things that life has offered you? Do you enjoy the gifts created by God? Do you smell the flowers? Do you feel the grass under your feet? Do you help a kindred person on your journey? Do you feel that you did enough to thank God for giving you the opportunity to experience this life? If the answer is no, then you have a lot of work to get started on and there’s no time like the present.
I think people get too caught up in all of the details of how they should live their lives. Recipe books are what I call them. The Quran, the Kabbalah, the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the Bhagavad Gita are all recipe books on how you are supposed to live. You cannot live your life through a recipe book. You already know right from wrong, internally.
Wherever you live and whatever part you play in this world, whatever society you live and progress within, you had to adapt to that experience.
There is not one single book that will work for every single situation. I don’t care if they say, “Yes, it can.” They are forcing it. They are interpreting it and bending the rules to fit their own agendas. You already know the answers internally. You already know. All you have to do is release all the baggage inside of you. Surrender it and you will feel a difference in your life. That’s it. It is that simple.
The first thing that I would like to say about the surrender technique is that once you have learned it, you should do this on your own without the written instructions. But for now, think of me as a voice or guide, not as a person or teacher. I’m like a subconscious echo.
You want to be in a nice, safe, quiet place where you will not be disturbed, sitting on the floor or in a chair. Simply sit for a minute, be still and take in a few deep breaths . . . and release. Breathe in . . . and release.
Breathe in . . . and release.
Repeat after me, and then think of something that you want to come forward. It will come forward on its own.
“I invoke the pain of my childhood.”
“I invoke the pain of my childhood.”
“I invoke the pain of my childhood.”
Now see yourself as a child and as the adult say to yourself,
“Forever you are loved.”
“Forever you are deeply protected and wanted.”
“You are the most beautiful thing in this world.”
Now say,
“I surrender the pain.”
“I surrender the pain.”
With a smile on your face, “I surrender the pain.”
Deep breath in . . . exhale.
We’re going to work with whatever comes up. See what emotions or memories come up. You can apply them as you feel they are appropriate.
“I invoke the pain in my life.”
“I invoke the pain in my life.”
“I invoke the pain in my life.”
“I set you free.”
“I choose to set you free.”
“I am setting you free.”
“You no longer hold the chains in my heart, my soul, or my spirit.”
“I am free.”
“I AM FREE.”
Breathe in . . . and exhale. Repeat after me:
“I am the power.”
“I have the choice.”
“I choose the liberation of my life and my soul to be now.”
“I will conquer every challenge in my life.”
“I will climb every mountain and I will even stop to see the view along the way.”
“I am healed and I am healing every day.”
Take a deep breath in . . . and exhale.
Now, slowly, choose a painful moment in your life, whether it is a person, a place or a shameful moment. I want you to briefly visualize the scenario that has caused you this pain. Now I want you to artificially change the experience. I want you to take control of the experience. I don’t want you to harm the other person or harm others, but control it in such a way that it becomes a positive outcome. Visualizing this, I want you to say now,
“It is done and it is complete.
“It is done and it is complete.”
Each day, I want you to choose one to three situations like this and spend at least five minutes working on them. Take every negative experience you’ve had in your life, and even though you remember the truth of what actually happened, I want you to rewrite it for your brain or mind. See the scenario and then change it into a positive outcome. When you are finished, take a deep breath and say this:
“I surrender the pain in my life to the Universe.”
“What was once bad and painful, is now changed to good and light and healing. So be it.”
I’ll give you an example of how this knowledge and tool of rewriting information has helped me in my life. I went through a rough period of time in my life with an abusive step-father. In one particular situation, I was doing my homework at the kitchen table when he came into the room.
He often drank instant coffee, if I remember correctly. He would put the kettle of water on the gas stove, turn it on and wait for the whistle to blow.
Then come in, make his cup of coffee, and then go to his workroom. I didn’t think anything of it. He came in, he was doing something in the kitchen, he left and I continued working on my homework.
He came back into the room and said, “What the hell are you doing?
Why did you shut off the hot water? Who the hell do you think you are?”
And I said, “Huh? What? What are you talking about? What’s the matter?”
He said, “I know you shut off the kettle of water! You think I don’t know you shut it off?” And he stormed off. I really didn’t know what to make of the situation. I was slightly fearful of him to begin with for the abuse that he put me through.
I remember hearing something thumping behind me and before I could react, I remember seeing a bright flash of yellow and red. It was very bright. I must have lost track of time. Anyway, I opened my eyes in what seemed to be a few moments later to this intense pain — like somebody stomping on my head and I looked up. I was on the floor and looking up at my stepfather. My stepfather had a board about the size of a 2×4, but I don’t remember exactly. He was yelling at me while shaking the board saying that if I ever touched his hot water again or thought that I could play games with him that I had better think twice about it. Then he marched off.
That was a very painful, abusive memory, one of many dealings with my ‘wonderful’ stepfather at that time. The surrender method really has helped me to be at peace with myself, with my stepfather, and the cruelties he put me through back then.
In this particular case, I sit in the lotus position and review my memories of this situation. Then I simply clear my mind and go back to that moment when he came in and yelled at me. You want to keep as much of the situation as you can to make it as real as possible for the brain to
process. As my stepfather comes in and I hear his footsteps, instead of taking the wallop on my head, I see myself and visualize myself in detail.
It’s very important to put as much emotion into it as you can. Keep it as real for the organic brain as possible. I spin around in my chair, grab the board that is coming down on me, hold it, jerk it free from him, stand up and I say to him, “You better leave me alone or else! Now get out of here!”
I throw the board on the ground and he becomes terrified and in his intimidation he runs off. I feel the confidence that comes with it and the reward of being able to defend myself and take a stance.
Now, that may seem a little silly to some people, but somewhere in your brain, it will re-write that memory. Instead of a painful memory, it now puts it into a positive, assertive, perspective instead. This is the beginning of building a level of confidence that comes with it.
Now you might say to yourself, “Well, I know what really happened.”
That doesn’t matter. The brain doesn’t necessarily work as a complete unit.
It has its own little compartment for storing facts, information, and experiences. If you continue to do this, whether you believe it or not, you will balance yourself out more emotionally and not react to the circumstances that were once fearful. I can allow the fear to take hold of me whenever I hear somebody behind me, but instead I just jump around with a fearful expression.
Because I feel that I have rewritten and reprogrammed many of the negative experiences in my life, I have limited the amount of psychological damage they could do to me. It is not a cure-all, but in the end I certainly feel that it is an excellent form of therapy. And you can also use this for any mistakes that you made yourself. Maybe you will not receive the forgiveness from someone because they’ve already passed on or moved on.
Or they are not willing to give it to you. There is a part of you that needs that forgiveness. By re-inventing that experience, you now see them as a loving mother or father who never has loved you properly or perhaps just making better decisions and having a better outcome.
You can re-write the script. You may feel a sense of guilt that you are giving yourself something that you may not fully deserve, but the real question is: Have you come to terms with it? If you have and that person is not willing to forgive you so you can move on, then I say it’s okay to give it to yourself. I say it’s okay.
You make of it what you will but be the best person that you can. The only way that you truly deserve the forgiveness and will receive it is, in your heart of hearts, you are truly sincere and appreciate this gift that you are giving yourself. Above all, love yourself. Love yourself as if you are another person. Love yourself. Go back through your life and turn every bad moment into a positive moment.
I like the saying “Forgiven but not forgotten.” My stepfather and me, we don’t speak anymore. I have moved on with my life. He has moved on with his. I know that he is a very, very, deeply disturbed and ugly human being for his actions. He is filled with anger and rage and that is just who he is. If I see him, I say “Hello, how are you doing?” You better believe when he looks into my eyes, there is a sense of fear in him. Because there is an absolute sense of confidence in mine and that’s something he never took from me. I have conquered him. I am the warrior. I am the person alive, and he is the dead, dying person for his ugliness. And I can’t help him. I haven’t forgotten what he’s done, but I certainly have forgiven him so that I don’t keep dwelling on the past. I’ve moved on and I’m grateful that I have.