KATE SAT IN THE LIVING room of her suite at Claridge’s and tapped at her laptop. It was midafternoon and the wintry sun filtered through the drapes. Poinsettias flanked the marble fireplace and a crystal vase held yellow tulips.
She hoped she could remember everything about her suite when she returned to New York: the striped drapes that were made out of a fabric as stunning as any ball gown, the eggshell yellow satin walls, the art deco furniture. And the little touches she couldn’t imagine having in her own apartment: scented soaps next to the bathtub and expensive lotions and a cashmere robe hanging in the closet.
There was a silver tray of finger sandwiches and scones on the coffee table. She wasn’t the least bit hungry, but she hadn’t been able to resist ordering afternoon tea. She was leaving tomorrow night and when would she have the chance again to eat roast chicken with Pommery mustard and cucumber with mint cream cheese and fresh scones?
She remembered all the times she brought Trevor raisin scones with strawberry jam when they were at St Andrews and grimaced. The memories would fade as soon as she stepped off the flight in New York. She would have so much to do: choose menus for next week’s show and go over wardrobe suggestions with Bianca and sift through an endless stack of papers.
Did Trevor return to Claridge’s after he left the gallery or was he wandering around Trafalgar Square? No matter how she tried to stop thinking about him, she kept imagining him in a black tuxedo.
How could she allow herself to fall in love? It didn’t matter; Trevor made it perfectly clear it wasn’t going to work. And it had been a wonderful week: attending the ballet and shopping on Bond Street and dining at the Dorchester. Now it was time to concentrate on Christmas Dinner at Claridge’s.
There was a knock on the door and she answered it. Noah stood in the doorway, clutching a Harrods bag.
“Come in, thank you for picking up the aprons.” She ushered him inside. “You look positively frozen. Next Christmas we’ll have to do the show in the Maldives or St. Barts.”
“There might not be a show next year.” He stood next to the fireplace. “Louisa has disappeared. I can’t find her anywhere and she’s not answering her cell phone.”
“Didn’t she tell you? She assisted Digby Bunting this morning,” Kate said. “She’s probably sitting in a hot bath in her suite. It’s the perfect place for her. She must be nervous and a bath will help her relax.”
“I asked the maids to check her room and she’s not there.” He shook his head. “I contacted all the staff in the hotel. The last person who saw her was the doorman when she climbed into Digby’s Range Rover this morning.”
“It’s three o’clock,” Kate said, checking her watch. “She said she’d be back by 2:00 p.m.”
“I’m afraid she is still with Digby, and I have no idea where they’ve gone.” He rubbed his forehead.
“Louisa seems very responsible, she wouldn’t let us down,” Kate assured him. “They’re probably stuck in traffic and she’ll rush through the lobby any minute. Taping doesn’t start until seven. There’s plenty of time for hair and makeup.”
“I just have a funny feeling.” He hesitated.
“What kind of funny feeling?” she asked, picking up a smoked salmon sandwich.
“That she isn’t coming back,” he admitted.
“That’s ridiculous. The whole reason Louisa is in London is to film Christmas Dinner at Claridge’s,” she scoffed. “She’s very focused on her career; she’s not the kind of girl who would run off with a man. Why would you think she isn’t coming back?”
“Something happened,” he said uncomfortably. “And it’s my fault.”
“I know you feel responsible for hiring Louisa. But I am the producer and the show’s success depends on me,” she reminded him. “Whatever happened, I’m sure it can be fixed.”
Noah looked up and his eyes were dark. “I fell in love with her and I think she felt the same.”
“Oh, I see.” Kate put the sandwich back on the plate.
“I know it’s unprofessional and I fought it as long as I could,” he began. “But Louisa is special,” he said with a sigh. “It’s terrible timing. I’m studying for law school and she’s saving money to open a restaurant, so we tried to remain friends.”
“I know what you mean,” Kate said thoughtfully. “But what does that have to do with Digby?”
“From the beginning I thought Digby had his eye on Louisa, but she was positive he was only interested in her skills as a chef,” he explained. “It caused some friction between us.”
“Digby is rumored to be a bit of a lothario, but Louisa is very talented,” Kate replied. “Why would you have doubts?”
“All sorts of things.” He shrugged. “He invited her to the Winter Wonderland and took her shopping at the Christmas markets and offered her a place in his master class. Then he asked her to assist him today and I told Louisa she shouldn’t go.”
“But today was a great opportunity, Town & Country was going to be there,” Kate said. “And maybe Digby was just being kind, everyone needs help at the start of their career.”
“I apologized to Louisa this morning and said she shouldn’t miss out.” He took a deep breath. “But then I noticed the diamond earrings he gave her.”
“Diamond earrings!” she gasped.
“From Harry Winston.” He nodded. “Louisa said he gave them to her for the photo shoot but I didn’t believe her.” He fiddled with his collar. “I insisted she not go. She accused me of not trusting her and putting my feelings before her career. We got into a raging fight and she stormed out of the hotel.”
“That is a bit of a mess,” Kate agreed. “But she wouldn’t jeopardize everything because you got into a fight.”
“Digby can be very persuasive,” he persisted. “What if he convinced her to skip the show and stay in some luxurious country hotel? Or they could be on their way to Scotland or on a flight to Paris.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing drastic.” Kate tried to stay calm. “Call anyone who might know where Digby is: his hairstylist and tailor and publisher. Find out the name of his dentist, maybe he’s laid up with a toothache. And call his doctor, he could have had an emergency appendectomy.” She paused. “And try his mother. But don’t tell her Digby is missing. No mother wants to think her son disappeared on Christmas Eve.”
“I’m very sorry.” Noah walked to the door. “I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble.”
“I don’t want your apologies, you need to fix this,” Kate said sharply. “Call Town & Country and ask them the location of the shoot. If we don’t find Louisa, we’ll need to get an understudy for the understudy and we only have four hours until the show.”
Kate waited until Noah left and stood at the window. A gold Rolls-Royce idled on the pavement and the hotel canopy was dusted with snow like frosting on a cake.
Noah was right: falling in love was a terrible burden. It kept her awake at night and made her favorite scone with orange marmalade taste like cardboard. But she could as easily ignore it as she could fly the plane from Heathrow to JFK by herself.
It was Trevor’s idea in the beginning not to talk about the past. It had been easier to just enjoy drinks at Claridge’s bar and dinner at the Dorchester. She had to make him see what they had was worth fighting for. Love was as rare as the most perfect diamond. If you were lucky enough to discover it, you cherished it forever.
She gathered her purse and entered the hallway. The elevator door opened and she pushed the button for Trevor’s floor.
“Kate!” Trevor said when she knocked on the door. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you.” She suddenly remembered the scene at the gallery. Could she really confront Trevor when he had just rejected her?
“I’m busy,” he said evasively. “Can it possibly wait until another time?”
“It will only take a minute.” She entered the suite. The coffee table was set with a silver teapot and porcelain cups. There was a plate of shortbread and bowl of mixed berries.
“Help yourself.” He waved at the tray. “The maid keeps bringing food and I’m not hungry.”
“I feel the same,” Kate replied. “It’s a shame not to have an appetite the day before Christmas.”
“Kate, I feel awful but nothing has changed.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“You’re right.” She faced him. “Nothing has changed, we’re in love with each other. We have been ever since you corrected my algebra homework and I helped you study Beowulf. Do you know how rare it is to find the person you want to spend your life with? Love can be more painful than the worst stomachache but it’s useless to fight it.”
“I disagree,” he said stiffly. “I’ve been quite happy.”
“You couldn’t have been in love with your wife. You’ve been separated for a week and don’t even miss her,” she fumed. “The only pictures you have are of your dogs, and you’re going to spend Christmas Day alone.”
“It wasn’t the closest marriage, but it had some good moments,” he recalled. “And many people feel strongly about their pets. I don’t mind being alone at Christmas, I’ve always enjoyed my own company.”
“It’s fine being alone if someone cares about you,” she urged. “Remember the semester when we didn’t see each other for days because you were taking an impossibly difficult analytics course and I was writing a paper on Chaucer? We knew all we had to do was walk down the hall to see a friendly face.” She stopped. “It’s different when the only thing you come home to is Netflix and take-out Thai noodles.”
“I’d rather be mildly content than live with a permanent pain in my gut,” Trevor said. “You hurt me and I can’t get past it.”
“You never let me explain what really happened,” she said. “If you had only waited, everything might have been different.”
“What do you mean?” he wondered.
“At the Graduation Ball, Ian offered to get me a glass of champagne. I ran out of the tent, but he followed me. It was such a lovely evening with the sky full of stars and warm summer breeze, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to sit on the steps and chat.” She perched on the sofa. “Then suddenly Ian pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him. Apparently, he had been carrying it around all semester.
“I tried to return the ring, but he told me to keep it and give him an answer in the morning. I could hardly leave a diamond ring on the lawn. I put it in my purse next to your promise ring.” She paused.
“I couldn’t sleep. I finally dozed off fully dressed and then I overslept and woke up at noon. I didn’t even have time to change out of my gown. I ran straight to Ian’s room and gave him back the ring.” She took a deep breath. “I told him I couldn’t marry him because I was in love with you. He said he saw you at the brunch and I was afraid you overheard that I still had his ring. I rushed downstairs and you were standing in the foyer. You saw me in my ball gown and assumed I spent the night with Ian.”
“What else was I supposed to think?” Trevor demanded. “It was almost noon and you were just leaving Ian’s room. You had your evening bag and your hair was rumpled and you were wearing last night’s makeup.”
“When I woke in the morning I didn’t even think about changing my gown. All I wanted was to say no to Ian and go find you. I ran after you but I slipped on the playing field and you disappeared. By the time I reached your parents’ hotel, you had already checked out.” She felt like a long-distance runner who can see the finish line. “You and I just had a wonderful week exploring London, and realized we both wanted to have a future. Then Ian Cunningham stepped out of a cab and kissed me and it all disappeared like snowflakes on the pavement. Are you really going to let him do that to us again?”
Kate’s heart raced and she walked to the bar. She poured a glass of water and took a long sip.
“You can’t imagine what it felt like to see you leaving Ian’s room.” Trevor twisted his hands. “It was as clear as the simplest math equation. You accepted Ian’s proposal and didn’t have feelings for me at all.”
“You didn’t trust me,” she murmured. “If you loved me you would have given me a chance to explain.”
“I was twenty-two. All I could see was Ian in his white dinner jacket and gold cuff links sweeping you off your feet.” He clenched his fist. “How could I compete with a trust fund and a villa in the south of France?”
“There was no competition,” she said quietly. “I haven’t felt the same about anyone ever.”
Trevor paced around the room and she was reminded of how handsome he was. His shoulders were broad under his wool sweater and when he smiled, something inside her melted.
“You don’t know how many times, before I met Susannah, I longed to conjure you up, like stars at the end of a telescope. But it’s like anything: one learns to live without it. Then I saw you at Claridge’s and thought we could just have a few dinners. I never meant to fall in love with you again.” He paused. “But when Ian appeared at the Dorchester and kissed you, it brought up everything that happened. I can’t risk feeling like that again, it’s too painful.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that,” she whispered.
“I don’t want to hurt either of us again,” he said. “Do you mind if I take a little time to think about it?”
“Of course, I don’t want to get hurt either. You said you were falling in love with me and I felt the same.” She stood up. “I have things to do, I’ll see you later.”
Trevor touched her cheek. He drew her close and kissed her. She kissed him back and his mouth was warm and tasted of berries.
“I do love you, Kate,” he said when they parted. “That will never change.”
* * *
Kate entered her suite and walked to the sideboard. She poured a cup of coffee and added cream and sugar. She would have to leave the maids a very large tip. Every time she returned to the room there was always hot coffee and fresh cream and a bowl filled with sugar cubes.
It was almost three thirty and she hadn’t heard from Noah. She still refused to panic. Digby was one of the most well-known chefs in England. He wouldn’t just disappear before the biggest television event of the year.
She ran her hands over her mouth and thought about Trevor. She was glad she went to see him. But now it was up to him; she couldn’t give it any more thought.
There was a knock at the door and she answered it. Noah stood in the hallway, clutching a clipboard.
“I tried Digby’s hairdresser but he was doing the hair for Victoria Beckham, and his makeup artist is on holiday in Singapore.” He paused. “His mother was very friendly but she hadn’t heard from him since her birthday. But I got hold of his publisher and he gave me the address of the country house.”
“Did he say when Digby would be back?” she asked, relief flooding through her.
“He wasn’t reassuring.” Noah fiddled with his pen. “Apparently Digby has done this before. Alan, his publisher, had to cover for him.”
“He’s run off before an internationally televised program and no one said anything?” she asked incredulously.
“Digby is like a rock star.” Noah shrugged. “Alan sends out an apology that Digby got laryngitis or came down with a twenty-four-hour flu, and he’s forgiven.”
“Then we’ll have to get Louisa ourselves.” She glanced at her watch. “I’ll call the front desk and ask for a car. We’ll be cutting it close, but we can make it.”
“Alan said the house party includes some members of the royal family,” he said. “Without security clearance, we may not be able to get through.”
Kate sipped her coffee and remembered all the crises she had dealt with: when the Lincoln Tunnel was shut down and Bianca was stranded in New Jersey, Kate had hired a helicopter to deliver Bianca to Manhattan. The time a protest blocked Fifth Avenue and she had to pay a bike messenger to borrow his bike and transport three cartons of eggs and a bottle of vanilla extract in his basket.
“I’ll pile my hair under a hat and pretend I’m the Duchess of Cambridge if I have to.” Kate gathered her purse. “What’s the address?”
“The house is called Yardley Manor.” Noah consulted his notes. “It’s in Sussex near Chichester.”
Kate froze and her purse dropped on the floor. “What did you say?”
“The hostess is named Susannah Skyler. She throws a house party every Christmas and invites well-known chefs to cook the meals,” he continued. “Digby was supposed to bake the puddings and leave them in the fridge.”
Louisa and Digby were at Trevor’s country house in Sussex! He could get her through security. But what if he didn’t want to see her and refused to go? She wouldn’t take no for an answer. The whole show depended on it.
“I know how we’re going to get there.” She picked up her purse and opened the door. “Follow me.”
She raced down the hallway and pushed the button on the elevator. The door opened and Trevor stepped out.
“Kate!” he exclaimed. “Where are you going, I was coming to see you?”
“I don’t have time to talk about us now,” she said. “You have to take me to Yardley Manor.”
“What did you say?” Trevor gasped. “You want me to drive you to Susannah’s house?”
“It’s the most important thing in the world, I’ll explain on the way,” she said and turned to Noah. “You should stay here in case Louisa returns.”
Kate and Trevor stepped into the elevator and the doors closed behind them. Whatever Trevor came to tell her would have to wait; finding Louisa was the only thing that mattered. A shiver of excitement ran down her spine and she didn’t know if it was from the strong coffee or finding Louisa or the fact that Trevor was standing so close to her.
“I hope you know some back roads, we have to get there quickly.” She turned to him.
“I’ll do my best.” He nodded and a smile crossed his face. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”