All the way home in the carriage Scarlett’s mind raced. No excuse at all except — except that he loved her! And the thought of her lying in Rhett’s arms roused a fury in him that she did not think possible. Well, she could understand that. If it wasn’t for the knowledge that his relations with Melanie were, necessarily, those of brother and sister, her own life would be a torment And Rhett’s embraces coarsened her, brutalized her! Well, if Ashley thought that, she could do very well without those embraces. She thought how sweet and romantic it would be for them both to be physically true to each other, even though married to other people. The idea possessed her imagination and she took pleasure in it. And then, too, there was the practical side of it. It would mean that she would not have to have any more children.
When she reached home and dismissed the carriage, some of the exaltation which had filled her at Ashley’s words began to fade as she faced the prospect of telling Rhett that she wanted separate bedrooms and all which that implied. It would be difficult. Moreover, how could she tell Ashley that she had denied herself to Rhett, because of his wishes? What earthly good was a sacrifice if no one knew about it? What a burden modesty and delicacy were! If she could only talk to Ashley as frankly as she could to Rhett! Well, no matter. She’d insinuate the truth to Ashley somehow.
She went up the stairs and, opening the nursery door, found Rhett sitting beside Bonnie’s crib with Ella upon his lap and Wade displaying the contents of his pocket to him. What a blessing Rhett liked children and made much of them! Some stepfathers were so bitter about children of former marriages.
“I want to talk to you,” she said and passed on into their bedroom. Better have this over now while her determination not to have any more children was hot within her and while Ashley’s love was giving her strength.
“Rhett,” she said abruptly when he had closed the bedroom door behind him, “I’ve decided that I don’t want any more children.”
If he was startled at her unexpected statement he did not show it. He lounged to a chair and sitting down, tilted it back.
“My pet, as I told you before Bonnie was born, it is immaterial to me whether you have one child or twenty.”
How perverse of him to evade the issue so neatly, as if not caring whether children came had anything to do with their actual arrival.
“I think three are enough. I don’t intend to have one every year.”
“Three seems an adequate number.”
“You know very well —” she began, embarrassment making her cheeks red. “You know what I mean?”
“I do. Do you realize that I can divorce you for refusing me my marital rights?”
“You are just low enough to think of something like that,” she cried, annoyed that nothing was going as she planned it. “If you had any chivalry you’d — you’d be nice like — Well, look at Ashley Wilkes.’ Melanie can’t have any children and he — ”
“Quite the little gentleman, Ashley,” said Rhett and his eyes began to gleam oddly. “Pray go on with your discourse.”
Scarlett choked, for her discourse was at its end and she had nothing more to say. Now she saw how foolish had been her hope of amicably settling so important a matter, especially with a selfish swine like Rhett.
“You’ve been to the lumber office this afternoon, haven’t you?”
“What has that to do with it?”
“You like dogs, don’t you, Scarlett? Do you prefer them in kennels or mangers?”
The allusion was lost on her as the tide of her anger and disappointment rose.
He got lightly to his feet and coming to her put his hand under her chin and jerked her face up to his.
“What a child you are! You have lived with three men and still know nothing of men’s natures. You seem to think they are like old ladies past the change of life.”
He pinched her chin playfully and his hand dropped away from her. One black eyebrow went up as he bent a cool long look on her.
“Scarlett, understand this. If you and your bed still held any charms for me, no looks and no entreaties could keep me away. And I would have no sense of shame for anything I did, for I made a bargain with you — a bargain which I have kept and you are now breaking. Keep your chaste bed, my dear.”
“Do you mean to tell me,” cried Scarlett indignantly, “that you don’t care —”
“You have tired of me, haven’t you? Well, men tire more easily than women. Keep your sanctity, Scarlett. It will work no hardship on me. It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged and grinned. “Fortunately the world is full of beds—and most of the beds are full of women.”
“You mean you’d actually be so —”
“My dear innocent! But, of course. It’s a wonder I haven’t strayed long ere this. I never held fidelity to be a virtue.”
“I shall lock my door every night!”
“Why bother? If I wanted you, no lock would keep me out.”
He turned, as though the subject were closed, and left the room. Scarlett heard him going back to the nursery where he was welcomed by the children. She sat down abruptly. She had had her way. This was what she wanted and Ashley wanted. But it was not making her happy. Her vanity was sore and she was mortified at the thought that Rhett had taken it all so lightly, that he didn’t want her, that he put her on the level of other women in other beds.
She wished she could think of some delicate way to tell Ashley that she and Rhett were no longer actually man and wife. But she knew now she could not. It all seemed a terrible mess now and she half heartedly wished she had said nothing about it. She would miss the long amusing conversations in bed with Rhett when the ember of his cigar glowed in the dark. She would miss the comfort of his arms when she woke terrified from the dreams that she was running through cold mist.
Suddenly she felt very unhappy and leaning her head on the arm of the chair, she cried.