Scorpio North Node people approach relationships in the sameway they do everything else—from the perspective of the masterbuilder. From past incarnations, they are accustomed to the seasonsand the natural progression of time and effort leading to predictable,lasting results. In relationships they are willing to take their timewith the other person, hold hands, talk, and discover what they liketo do together. Each thing becomes a building block, and therelationship either grows or doesn’t, based on their enjoyment ofeach stage and the extent to which they respect each other asindividuals.Yet at the same time Scorpio North Nodes can be largely unawareof others and not really address the other person’s needs. Forexample, I had a Scorpio North Node client who was a workaholic.He was driven to make money to provide a good lifestyle for hisfamily and send his four children to the best colleges. His wife,whom he deeply loved, kept telling him that she didn’t need theluxury houses; what she needed was for him to spend more timewith her. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t value his spendingso much time making money—after all, he had to pay for thechildren’s college; that was the main thing.So he postponed spending more time with his wife, thinking thatwhen the children had graduated from college they would beginenjoying their lives together—which he greatly anticipated. Beforehis fourth child had completed college, his wife died. Needless tosay, he felt a lot of remorse. Perhaps subconsciously his wife was intouch with how little time she had. Her need to spend time with himmay have been based on an awareness that he had no way ofunderstanding—except by valuing what was important to her.Sometimes these folks get so focused that they become brusquewithout realizing it. One client with this nodal position, agrandmother, was so task oriented and efficient that one of hergrandchildren grew completely silent around her. She had so muchto take care of in shepherding everyone around, her voice soundedimpatient: “Come on, come on! We have to get going!”—and hergrandson would clam up. After a week with the kids, she noticedwhat she was doing and said: “You all need to understand that whenGrandma gets in that frenzied state, it doesn’t have anything to dowith you. Sometimes I feel so worried about getting everythingdone that I don’t notice how I’m talking to you and what my voicesounds like.” Right away her grandson started talking again.Scorpio North Node people are recognizing that when theybecome overly focused on the goal, they affect other peoplenegatively. They don’t mean to; it’s something they don’t evenrecognize until they begin paying attention. But when theycommunicate to those around them about what’s going on, othersdon’t take it personally.
These folks are comfortable with a certain way of doing thingsand a certain set of values. They don’t want to be challenged byother people’s value systems. If they discover that someone theyrespect lives according to values different from their own, their firstinstinct is to react personally and be disappointed, rather thanexpanding to allow for a fuller understanding of the other person.They are learning that other people’s values are not a threat totheir own. Values are a reflection of inherent personal needs andtastes. For example, a person who is very thin and gets cold easilymay value bulky winter coats, whereas another person may prefer adifferent type of coat more suited to her own body. One person mayvalue refined elegance, whereas another feels more at home in asporty environment. One person may place a high value on physicalaffection in relationships, whereas another may place moreemphasis on mental rapport.There is no “right” or “wrong” about any of these values. Themore these natives are open to learning about another’s values, themore they can understand and appreciate the other person and his orher reality. Then they can more easily accept what others areoffering without thinking they have to change them—or themselves—in order for constructive interaction to take place.Scorpio North Node people have great business karma, since, inthe business world, they tend to be more open and accepting of newideas. In business, people share a common goal: making money.When it comes to making money, very little conflicts with ScorpioNorth Nodes’ value system because they are able to focus on thelarger goal. Someone could approach them with a business ideabased on ideals very different from their own, but they would stilllisten because the end result would be something they value. Andthat is the key. In any area of their life, these natives need to focuson shared values and be willing to adapt their process to work withthe other person.If their values in any area are too limited or narrow, they are inconstant conflict with others to maintain their ground. For example,if their religion is limited to only one belief system, they must be onconstant alert to repel all contrary beliefs. However, if they searchfor a deeper value (for example, the purpose of religion being topromote universal values of love, forgiveness, harmony, selfunderstanding, ethics, etc.), then they can accept different pathwaysfor reaching those larger goals, which could be enriching.
In relationships, Scorpio North Node people tend to take overthe decision making for the team. Their partners may say: “Whycan’t you just be in partnership with me? You always go off on yourown and do it the way you want to do it.” Scorpio North Nodepeople don’t realize that when they leave their partners out of thedecision-making process, they inadvertently invalidate the others’worth.These folks have a tendency to “push against” the other person,to use the other’s energy as motivation to do things their own way.They can use the energy of the partnership to fuel their owndirection, without recognizing that it is the partnership that isempowering them. They need to be aware of and have the humilityto acknowledge the difference in their own personal power that theirpartner has made. Once they realize how much the other person hascontributed, it will be easier for them to include their partner in thedecision-making process. Sometimes Scorpio North Node peoplejust want to go off on their own and not have to consider others, butthey will have better quality time alone when they include theirpartner in their plans, because then the other person will supportthem.If they have a problem, their first instinct is to keep it tothemselves rather than invite the perspectives of others, and theytend to project that other people are also that way. They assume thatothers want them to stay out of their business, when in fact theopposite may be true. When these folks attune themselves to theother person to see how they can truly help, others welcome theirideas, perspectives, and suggestions—the Scorpio North Nodeperson feels validated, and everyone wins! And just as they have thepower to help others, others have the power to help them when theyhave the humility to receive.In becoming involved in other people’s business, motive is thekey factor. If Scorpio North Nodes’ motive is to make a judgmentor try to “fix” the other person so he’ll do something their way, theother will sense it and become resentful. Or if the silent message is:“You should have done more,” the other person will sense it,become discouraged, and rebuff the Scorpio North Node person.But if the motive is truly to become lovingly involved with the otherperson, he’ll feel that and respond with appreciation.These folks are in charge of their underlying motive. If they arein doubt about whether to approach another person and ask abouthis or her affairs, they can first ask themselves: “What is my motivefor asking?” If the motive is to change the other person, their bestbet is to back away because they will lose. If the motive is to gain abetter understanding of the other person, they can trust that theirinterest will be welcomed. They are natural therapists who healpeople by listening and sharing their deep understanding.When Scorpio North Node people “tune in” to the other person,with the motive of truly wanting to lighten the other person’s load,they always see what they can do to help. Sometimes it involvestaking a small part of the load on their own shoulders: offering to dothe other person’s laundry, fill out a form, or run an errand. Theymay be “off path” if they offer advice about how the other personshould do it: “If you would just do your wash the same day eachweek, you wouldn’t run into this kind of time crunch!” If the otherperson responds with irritation, the native will know her suggestionwasn’t helpful. If she says: “Look, I have a few extra minutes,would it help if I put in a load of wash for you?” and the otherperson responds with appreciation, she will know that was the helpthe other needed.When their motive is to be supportive, Scorpio North Nodepeople can see what is easy for them but would be a tremendousrelief for the other person. When they offer to do it, the appreciationthat comes back is enormous. If they are unsure of what to do, theycan always ask: “What can I do to support you?” And the otherperson will tell them—it’s very simple and practical. Through suchinteraction they will forge a loving bond with the other person thatwill bring rewards far beyond their expectations.It’s a new habit for these folks to approach people in this way;but the more they do it, the easier it will become. Their lives willgain a new dimension of fullness and love, as they experience theunique satisfaction of being deeply connected with other people.
To increase their power, Scorpio North Node people are learningto validate the worth of others so that they can be open to successfulmerging. However, sometimes they reverse the process and tearothers down—their importance, value, and good qualities—in orderto demonstrate their own worth. It’s as though they subconsciouslyfeel that to devalue someone else will make them more valuable.But it never does; it just leaves them feeling isolated and drained.At work, for example, if someone says the head of the accountingdepartment is doing an excellent job, a person from this nodal groupmay say: “Well, I knew the head of another accounting departmentwho could run rings around this fellow.” When an employee does agood job, instead of complimenting her on her success and goodpoints, Scorpio North Nodes may make light of the accomplishmentwhile faulting her in another area. Something in other people’sperformance is always wrong or “less than” it could be, accordingto these folks’ appraisal. As a result, those around them becomediscouraged—they feel their light has been diminished and theirvalue discounted. Scorpio North Node people truly do not realizehow much damage they do to those around them or how they losepoints in the eyes of those they would like to impress. It would be intheir best interest to become aware of and release the habit ofdowngrading others.One experiment that can help them break this habit is to beginnoticing one good thing about each person every day. Perhaps thesecretary has â pleasant voice or a way of putting customers at easewhen they are waiting for appointments. Perhaps the accountantgoes out of her way to have the figures the decision makers need sothey can act quickly and make the most of good opportunities. Theidea is to consciously appreciate one good thing about each personeach day. This will be a great help in reprogramming their past-lifetendency to diminish others, and in enhancing their innate ability toappreciate them.Scorpio North Node people need the validation of others in orderto feel good about themselves in this lifetime. Partnerships work forthem—they need the energy—and they are learning to have thehumility to recognize this. Being essentially practical people, theycan say to themselves: “Okay, the truth is that I need the validationof others to be happy. Now, what do I have to do to get it? I’d betterfind out what’s important to them and give it to them. And, if Iinclude them in my process and make them feel important, they willmake me feel important.” This approach will work for ScorpioNorth Nodes as they remember to openly notice, appreciate, andvalidate others—their good qualities and the work they have done.Scorpio North Nodes neglect this crucial step when they forget thatthey need others’ validation to feel good themselves.In every area of their lives, it works best when these folks have apowerful partner whose strengths they admire and talents theyrecognize. As they learn to consciously appreciate the uniquetalents, knowledge, and perspectives of others, Scorpio NorthNodes see how to combine their own resources and talents withanother’s to create something different than either would havethought of on their own. This is synergy. Through combining, bothpeople will be able to use and display their unique talents in waysthat demonstrate how “The whole is greater than the sum of itsparts.” Scorpio North Node people are scheduled for magic in thislifetime—synergy, empowerment, and the exciting vitality ofongoing creativity!