These folks have had a lot of people lifetimes: fitting in with
others, being interested in their daily routines, getting to know the
inner workings of their lives. Consequently, especially in the early
years, there’s always a lot of social activity with people calling,
“hanging out” with friends, and attending social events. Yet in this
incarnation, socializing doesn’t fulfill their deepest needs. In fact,
being with people too much drains their energy and makes them
overly sensitive and insecure. They feel clearer when they spend
time alone.
If Sagittarius North Node people become more direct in their
communication and lessen their involvement in conversations that
don’t really interest them, they find that people with whom they
have little in common begin to leave their circle of friends. Yet their
good friends appreciate their directness, so being direct helps them
discriminate between people who belong around them and those
without any deep connection.
These folks can be great advisors. They readily listen to
everyone’s stories and try to help them; because they understand
how others think, everyone feels comfortable with them. But it’s to
their advantage when the quantity of people around them
diminishes, as they can spend more time with like-minded friends
who nurture them in return.
Sagittarius North Node people sometimes remain in superficial
relationships because they have an insatiable need for attention.
They will do anything for it: make up stories, pretend to be curious
about people when they are not really interested, and even create
unnecessary problems in their lives so they can be the center of
attention. Underneath this need is a sense of restlessness and a fear
of boredom. They are so terrified of boredom that every time they
come up against it, they run the other way and try to distract
themselves.
In their friendships, these folks need to be careful about indulging
in gossip. Other people seem to get away with it, but whenever
these folks participate in gossip, life really lets them have it. It’s just
one of those things they are not allowed to do in this lifetime.
Sagittarius North Node people are learning that if they
manipulate their partner, they end up being trapped themselves. In
romantic relationships, they seek control by forming a close bond
with their mate. They keep the lines of communication open all the
time—at least superficially—so they can share their partner’s “mind
space” and keep the situation under control. These folks stay
connected with their partners through constant phone calls and the
like, and they are very sensitive to any pulling back on the other
person’s part.
Unfortunately, this communication is happening on a superficial,
“chatty” level, and it never addresses the underlying, significant
issues in the relationship. But these folks feel very insecure without
the constant checking-in; they’re afraid they’ll lose control and the
other person will leave. They can spend the whole day “chatting”:
discussing this and that, bringing the partner up to date on the latest
news, and sharing their thoughts.
Over the years, Sagittarius North Node people grow weary of the
constant mental interaction they think they need just to maintain
control. They may become bored and think about leaving the
relationship, especially if they haven’t been able to manipulate the
other person into doing what they want. Yet by that time, they have
not only trapped the other person into dependency—they have also
trapped themselves. And they become increasingly confused and
mentally weak the longer the co-dependency continues. Often they
try to break the bond they have forged, becoming angry with the
partner to create mental distance and regain a sense of freedom and
independence. Sometimes they devise a “plan of escape,” taking the
partner totally by surprise when they leave.
There is nothing wrong with having preferences regarding a
mate’s behavior; however, these folks would save time and energy
by taking a more direct approach in the beginning of a relationship.
They have the idea that after marriage, through cheerful
manipulation of the other person, they will slowly change the
partner’s behavior. But this technique is not scheduled to work for
them in this lifetime.
Once mutual attraction has been established, Sagittarius North
Node people should reveal their ideas about creating a life filled
with a sense of adventure and fun. When they have openly shared
their fantasies of their future, they will see whether or not the other
person resonates with their dreams. If they meet resistance, no
amount of mental manipulation over a thirty-year marriage will
change the other person. If they meet with enthusiasm and support,
the potential is there for a good relationship.
These folks occasionally get so caught up in their mental
processes that they lose touch with their bodies and their sexuality.
They almost seem to get lost in their minds! To come down to earth,
they might try a camping trip or an outdoor adventure. Being in
natural environments calms their high-frequency nervous system
and allows them to re-establish their natural sensuality and bodily
rhythms. Also, when they view sex as fun or an unexpected
adventure, they reconnect.
Sometimes these people think they don’t attract the right
romantic candidates. But this happens because they are not being
themselves; they’re being a chameleon in order to be accepted.
They use logic to pick a romantic partner, then they use their ability
to understand how the person thinks to create artificial harmony.
But when they constantly alter their ideas so the other person will
accept them, they dilute their own sense of who they are and what
they want.
Relationships based on truth maintain themselves naturally. Just
by being oneself, the other person stays happy and giving.
Relationships based on manipulation must be maintained by
manipulation. When these folks respond naturally and directly,
those who are attracted by their true nature will draw closer.
Sagittarius North Node people need to be with a mate who can
resonate with their truth! And they can only find such a person by
being themselves and speaking directly.
Sagittarius North Node people are learning that loyalty is not
based on pitting one person against another. This is temporary
loyalty that breaks down under stress. Loyalty really means
consistently supporting loved ones in reaching goals and doing what
they say they are going to do. Until these folks learn to keep their
word—simply because they have given their word—loyalty from
others will elude them.
In close relationships, these folks face the temptation of using
their mental agility to trick the other person into changing. They are
trying to be tactful, but it is really manipulation—and the other
person will resist. For example, the native may say to herself: “He’s
perfect, but he has to change in this one area. If I make him see life
differently, he’ll change.” But this tactic doesn’t work over the long
haul. It results in resentment, anger, and wasted time.
A direct approach works much better. For example, Sagittarius
North Node could say: “Look, I love everything about you.
However, the right man for me will also have this one certain
quality. Are you willing to develop that quality within yourself?”
These folks have natural tact. They don’t need to worry about
saying the wrong thing. Their challenge is to take a stand and then
see how the other person responds.
Being direct does not mean being angry with the other person.
Being direct simply means they have to tell the truth. They should
be assertive but not aggressive. Assertiveness involves stating
things as they are; aggressiveness involves having anger as a
motivation. Aggressiveness is aimed at the other person, but
Sagittarius North Nodes need to aim for their own truth.
Sometimes when these folks speak directly, they become very
emotional. They feel vulnerable, and their feelings are very intense
because they’ve been bottled up for so long. Initially, when these
folks begin to speak, these emotions may flow out with their words.
But that’s fine—it will work to their advantage.
Sagittarius North Node people see everything from so many
points of view that they have a tough time holding any belief or
perception as “sacred.” Because of this, they may mislead others
about their motives or intentions. For them, it can be a matter of
deciding what they have to say to get what they want. They may
even put others down for being honest: “Why did he say that? That
was stupid! Now he won’t get what he wants. He should have just
said what they wanted to hear.” These folks often don’t recognize
the inherent value of telling the truth. They lack faith in the
goodness of life and the benefits of following natural law. They
think everything depends on their ability to outmaneuver others. But
they are discovering the strength, calm, and confidence that emerge
when one’s words are a true reflection of one’s inner being. There is
nothing to hide, no reason to be “on guard,” and no need to use
mental energy “covering their tracks.” They are also learning to
trust in positive outcomes—if they are honest, the “right things”
will happen.
When they are not operating with integrity, they often project this
onto others and become suspicious about what people are “up to.”
This leads to paranoia, mistrust, and anguish, since they assume that
others are also trying to trick and outmaneuver them.
Honesty—Truth—Freedom . . . these three energies are
interdependent. Without Honesty, Sagittarius North Node people
will never see Truth and obtain Freedom. The habit of dishonesty
leads to confusion, and when we confuse others, we end up being
victimized by confusion in our own lives. Sagittarius North Node
people are learning that their greatest protection against ambush or
trickery from others is to be straightforward themselves.
In spite of the fact that these folks have a strong ability to
understand others, they often do not truly listen to what the other
person is saying. They get so distracted by sharing their own
predetermined point of view, or by what they want the other person
to think of them, that there is no true communication or mutual
growth.
Sagittarius North Node people need to develop more
peacefulness in their conversations—a stronger desire to find Truth
through a mutual sharing of ideas. In this process they will retain
their own truth at the same time that they heed their intuition
regarding others’ words being accurate and relevant. They have had
so many past lives as teachers and interpreters that they tend to
listen too “exactly” to the words people use. In this lifetime, rather
than listening to the words with both ears, they are better off
listening with one ear and attuning their other ear to their own
intuition. When they listen with their intuition rather than with their
logic, they will truly understand what is being said and will be able
to create a nurturing rapport with others.
Because these folks have a tough time defining their own
personal truth, they assume that others have the same problem. But
this is not the case. They are learning to accept that what others say
about their (the others’) motives, desires, interests, and values
generally is true. True communication requires a willingness to go
beyond logic to the truth the other person is offering. The tendency
of Sagittarius North Node people to reduce conversation to a
sharing of predictable words, rather than allowing it to be a vehicle
through which a higher truth emerges, can lead to misunderstanding
in relationships.
Motive is everything. If the native’s motive is to listen and grow
closer to Truth through the interchange of words, he will win and so
will the other person. When his motive is to appear intelligent and
show mental superiority, his spontaneity leads to carelessness,
painful misunderstandings, and missed opportunities.
Sagittarius North Node people need to see their interactions
with others as opportunities to find “higher solutions” to their
problems, not as times to tap into an endless stream of information.
Questions and curiosity do not work for these folks. They already
see too many options. They need to let go of their desire to question
and simply be open to what their intuitive process shows them. On
the intuitive level, they are brilliant.
Even in the closest friendships, misunderstandings arise. If the
Sagittarius North Node person doesn’t honestly, directly, and
immediately communicate his hurts and fears, negative thoughts
will “simmer.” Over time, these “withholds” accumulate and the
relationship dissipates. In this way, Sagittarius North Node loses
friendships that could have brought nurturing rewards over a
lifetime. But if the Sagittarius North Node person directly
communicates what he is feeling and thinking, his friend has a
chance to accept him, understand him better, and be more
supportive. The obstacle becomes a way for a deeper alliance to be
formed.
These folks are learning that the best resolutions come out of a
blending of two people’s ideas—a higher perception than either one
could have attained on his or her own. Truth is an energy, not a
personal opinion; it cannot be reached with two concepts struggling
against each other to be “right.” The energy of Truth is accessed
through two people who are being open to each other’s ideas and
wanting to find Truth together.
Owing to so many past incarnations spent in the midst of
society, Sagittarius North Node people have become overly
sensitized to others’ opinions and overly attached to doing things in
a way that is socially acceptable. They place too much emphasis on
“good manners” and are constantly mindful of the social graces,
including tact, courtesy, and discretion. Thus, they do not
understand when others behave with rudeness, crudeness, or just a
general lack of etiquette.
Each of us has our own karmic history, and only the Sagittarius
North Node people have an overabundance of past lives spent
learning about the rules of society. Rather than condemn people for
not embodying the social graces, these folks can help others learn
how to interact in a way that is supportive to society as a whole.
This is a gift they have to share.
For instance, these folks don’t want to put anyone in a situation
of having to say “no”—they want to be gracious and keep the
interchange friendly. They are aware of how others think and have a
keen sense of when the timing is right to present an idea. Therefore,
they do not understand when people put them in the often awkward
position of having to say “no.” When others put them in this
position, these natives think it is purposeful and unfair. In fact, other
people don’t realize they are putting anyone in a difficult situation.
Sagittarius North Node people are so aware of others’ thoughts
that they can tell when something they said or did hurt the other
person, and they feel badly. They are kindly people and don’t want
to hurt others. However, it is also important to take their own
feelings into account. When they hold back and don’t speak
directly, they get hurt. But when they have been direct (not in a
hurtful way, but in a forthright way), they have taken responsibility
for themselves. Only then are they in a position to help others.
Sagittarius North Node people can be insecure in social
situations. Primarily, this is because they are oversensitive to what
other people think about them. They may start out feeling inwardly
calm and happy from having spent time alone. Then, after an
evening of interaction, they return home besieged with thoughts
about what others said, what they meant, how they treated the
native—and all the possible hidden meanings. In defense, they form
harsh judgments about how they think others were viewing them,
and then they shut down, pull back, and resolve never to go out
again. Social interactions can be hurtful for these folks when they
allow their minds to become overstimulated.
For example, I had a Sagittarius North Node client who told me
about something that was a consistent source of upset for her. Every
day she would go to a coffee shop near her office, order a large cup
of hot water, and pay five cents for the cup. Because her digestive
system was sensitive, she preferred to drink only hot water. Each
day, the same young girl at the counter gave my client a look that
she interpreted to be degrading. Finally, my client said: “Do you
have a problem with my order? I have the impression that it bothers
you, and I want you to know that I can’t drink anything but hot
water, so that’s all I can order.” The girl broke into a big smile and
said: “I don’t have any problem with that!” And my client felt at
ease again.
When Sagittarius North Node people finally communicate in
these situations, they almost always find that what they took
personally is actually just a reflection of the other person’s mood
and a lack of awareness of how they ate affecting others. Rather
than pretending that the other person isn’t affecting them, or
running away from people because of their sensitivity, Sagittarius
North Node people should take a direct approach that allows them
to maintain their own integrity. In the process of acknowledging
their vulnerability, they become invulnerable to victimization by
others’ thoughts.
Sagittarius North Node people are proud of being able to see
things from everyone else’s point of view—but doing it drives them
nuts. They are so aware of how others are viewing them moment to
moment that they close down because they feel too vulnerable.
Although they appear friendly and open, many times they are
actually “closed” out of fear of being judged by others.
These folks need to step back from the situation and become
aware of the overall picture. Once they gain perspective, they can
use their power with words to say something that will make the
other person feel better. For example, stepping back and
recognizing how much pressure the young girl at the coffee shop
was under, my client could have said: “I guess things get pretty
busy around here at lunchtime,” which would have validated the
waitress’s situation and established the rapport she was seeking.
There is no one better equipped than these folks to project mental
lightness, ease, and a feeling of acceptance. And when they do that
in the moment, with that one other person, it benefits not only
themselves but the whole planet. They have used their past-life
powers of communication to help their neighbor. This is not a
lifetime where they should limit the scope of their interests to those
in their immediate environment. They are here to restore a positive
mental attitude to whoever comes across their path.
These folks often think they have a hard time with words and
communication. In fact, they communicate very well; but they often
feel they’re struggling. Because they are so accurate with words and
are so aware of the mindset of the other person, they are hoping to
find the exact word that will speak in the other person’s language as
well as convey precisely what they mean. Obviously, going through
such mental gymnastics in the process of a simple conversation can
be a struggle.
Sagittarius North Node people don’t realize that most people
communicate with less precision. Others are less preoccupied with
words—and perhaps more careless—more intent on simply
expressing what’s inside of them. But the issue of words is
important to Sagittarius North Nodes. They have a tendency to
listen too closely to others’ words and miss the meaning. They may
even keep interrupting and correcting the other person, which
misses the point entirely—and makes the other person frustrated!
These folks are not trying to antagonize the other person by
changing his or her words; they’re trying to communicate.
Sometimes, Sagittarius North Node people will pick out one
word the other person has used and go off on a tangent: “What is
this person talking about—’real’ . . .” and they go on and on about
what “real” means to them. When a word “stops” them, they need to
ask the other person what it means to him or her. That helps the
Sagittarius North Node person attune to the other person and
loosens the attachment to specific words. Even though these people
are often highly intelligent, their attachment to words can impede
their intellect and “bog down” the conversation for others. They
must see beyond the words to the meaning of what is being said.