Capricorn North Node people have spent many lifetimes as
householders: As central figures in the home and on the farm, they
were thoroughly identified with their family or clan. Through these
incarnations, they developed a natural understanding of how
families work and the emotional attunement to others that is
characteristic of this nodal group. But they have not had a lot of
past-life experience being out on their own. And although in this
lifetime their greatest joy will come from being out in the world, the
problem is getting them out there! By giving up worldly experience
to be in the home, they sacrificed their sense of competence and
self-respect. In this incarnation, they are learning to be in charge of
their own destinies.
In past lives the home was everything to these folks, and all their
needs were taken care of by the family: They were fed, clothed,
given shelter, and protected. So they came into this lifetime with
tremendous dependence needs and now look to others to help them
“get their life together.” When things don’t go as they want, they
overreact emotionally, subconsciously hoping that others will see
how upset they are and change their behavior. But other people
perceive this as a means of controlling and are unwilling to modify
their behavior just to appease these natives.
Capricorn North Node people are learning that in order for their
lives to work, they must approach situations from a position of
being “in charge.”They must discard all tendencies to manipulate
people through emotional outbursts, and instead approach others
from a position of authority with quiet self-respect that is removed
from emotional reactions. It is a byproduct of taking charge of
themselves and having their own life goals. From a take-charge
position, they can relate as equals without depending on others’
goals for security.
These folks have difficult family karma. Too often, they are
born into a situation where immediate family members have many
emotional problems, and the Capricorn North Nodes spend a lot of
time being sensitive and empathetic. However, they are drained by
the incessant demands of those around them because they take on
others’ problems but don’t feel capable of helping them change.
From past lives, Capricorn North Node people are so used to
nurturing family members that they have lost a sense of their own
direction. Thus, in this lifetime they tend to have difficulty when
they get too close to members of their immediate family. Actually,
the problem isn’t the closeness but rather their subconscious intent:
“If only I can get this person on track, then finally I can have my
own life, pursue my own goals, and be a person in my own right!”
Because of this subconscious motive, their “support” of family
members has an unpleasant emotional intensity. They want to “get it
over with” so they can live their own life. The problem is twofold:
(1) trying to get the other person on track is a way to postpone
making the commitment to taking care of their own lives; and (2)
trying to help someone else achieve success is premature when they
have not yet learned how to do it themselves.
The first job for these folks is to decide to distance themselves
from total emotional involvement with their family. Once they let
go, they are in a position to proceed with their own life. It is fine for
them to be in touch with family members when they can objectively
understand others’ emotional needs from a detached position. When
their happiness is no longer dependent on resolving the problems of
everyone in the family, they are actually quite good at managing the
family in a way that brings productive results for all concerned.
If Capricorn North Node people were to manage their families
the way they run businesses, their family life would be extremely
successful. In fact, they are expert managers because they have a
natural understanding of people and can gently align others to
cooperate in reaching the goal in ways that don’t hurt anyone’s
feelings. They need to approach family members in the same way:
from a position of authority, not of need. To do this, they need to
discover what the other person’s goal is and objectively support him
or her in reaching it. Alternatively, they need to have specific goals
in terms of how to run the family, assume the role of manager, and
facilitate family members in reaching the goals that promote
everyone’s best interests.
These folks are extremely sensitive to their own emotions and
those of others. Because of this innate awareness, they understand
why people become upset and can’t do things. They are so aware of
the reasons people fail that they often become too accepting of their
own lack of accomplishment. When they are having a “bad day” or
don’t feel like being disciplined enough to work toward their goal,
they apply that same understanding and sympathy to themselves as
an excuse to postpone direct action—and it becomes a selfdefeating escape hatch!
Capricorn North Node people are also very tuned in to the realm
of emotional connectedness and understand how people’s feelings
can affect others. This is both an asset and a detriment. On the plus
side, it enables them to negotiate life more smoothly. The liability is
that they sometimes feel for other people more than others are
feeling for themselves—and this can be debilitating. They can’t
handle negative energy, so they mitigate their own behavior—their
plans and their own personal direction—in order to accommodate
others. In this way they don’t have to deal with others’ emotional
distress—but they can easily end up being controlled by the feelings
of everyone around them.
These folks take personal responsibility for other people’s moods;
they want to make the other person happy so that they can feel
better! They can’t separate themselves from the generalized mood
of people in their immediate environment. And the other people
may resent not being allowed to express their true feelings because
it upsets the Capricorn North Node person.
For example, if a family member invites Capricorn North Node
for dinner and she really doesn’t want to go, she will generally go
anyway to avoid bad feelings. These natives live in avoidance of
anything that might stir up emotions—in themselves or in others.
This is one more technique to avoid responsibility: They don’t want
to make decisions because they’re afraid that any decision might
cause negative feelings in someone else.
Capricorn North Node people are learning to stop controlling
other people’s moods and simply allow those around them to feel
what they feel. Sometimes people have to experience negative
feelings in order to resolve important issues; when these folks try to
block that experience, they rob the other person of the opportunity
to grow. If someone puts his hand on a hot stove and gets burned,
that’s part of learning not to put his hand on stoves. The same holds
true on the emotional plane. To a large extent, these folks operate
from their emotions, and this equals “how to lose” for them in this
lifetime. Their unique challenge is to take charge of their emotions
rather than being victimized by them, and to allow others to take
responsibility for their own feelings, and to grow and mature as a result.
Capricorn North Node people are very emotional. They cry at
movies and at sad stories; their feelings are very present and
available to them. These folks can be so overrun by their emotions
that they can’t think, they can’t function, and they don’t know why.
This can happen when they are faced with personal loss or in
professional situations involving confrontation or performance; they
can’t seem to control it—it simply escalates.
One thing that helps when their emotions take over is to
concentrate on slowing down their breathing. They need to relax,
focus on letting go of the thoughts that are making them nervous,
and visualize memories that have made them feel happy and
peaceful: a beautiful mountain, a time by the seashore, and the like.
Then they will calm down and be able to function again.
When these folks face circumstances requiring them to take
charge, they may think the situation is beyond their ability to
control, and they panic. They think of the possible negative
consequences, their fears and insecurities arise, and all the muscles
in their body tighten up. Thus, when emotions start to overwhelm
them, they need to deliberately breathe, relax, and expand beyond
the emotions. They can visualize themselves becoming bigger than
the emotions and regaining their serenity.
Ultimately, they should not allow themselves to get into this kind
of frenzy to begin with. To that end, they can notice that whenever
they allow something to become excessively important to them,
they become anxious. Recognizing this can make a significant
difference in maintaining their peace of mind.
Capricorn North Node people hate the possibility of rejection—
in fact, even the thought of being rejected is crippling for them. If
someone rejects them, not only do they feel bad about themselves
but they also think it was their fault. These folks are so insecure and
so terrified of rejection that they enter situations very cautiously.
Part of this fear of rejection stems from their past lives, when
they were shielded from the world by stronger family members.
They harbor a perception that they aren’t worth much by
themselves; and when they are rejected, it proves to them that
they’re not worth much. This response is irrational, but it reinforces
their inner fear, and when they think someone has rejected them,
they can’t sleep all night! Understandably, then, these folks hate
rejecting others. They tend to take responsibility for other people’s
feelings and spend a long time going over all the reasons why they
were justified if they have to reject someone. But they know how it
feels, and thoughts of how others are feeling can upset them for
hours.
Making a decision to take charge will empower Capricorn North
Node people to rise above their anxieties and take steps to resolve
difficult situations in a responsible way. In a personal relationship
where a misunderstanding has occurred, they can take the initiative
and call the other person: “I’m concerned we may have a
misunderstanding, and I want you to know I would never do
anything to intentionally hurt your feelings.” Or: “I think we may
have had a misunderstanding, and I don’t want you to feel rejected.”
If they come from the position of taking charge to create mutual
harmony, they will know what to say to promote that harmony. If
they are temporarily too upset to make the call, their best bet is to
wait until they’ve calmed down. They can say to themselves:
“There’s nothing I can do about this right now. So I’m going to call
tomorrow and resolve the issue in a caring way.”
Capricorn North Node people are so open to their feelings that
they also tend to keep open a door to feelings from the past. They
don’t want to close off any of the happy times, because they don’t
know what’s going to happen in the future. They usually avoid
thinking about the future at all costs. But until they begin to
consciously visualize a positive future, their only reality is the past
and the present. When the present does not make them happy, they
drift back into thinking about the past. This process is not healthy
because it distracts them from taking constructive action in the
present.
When they look back at the past, these folks are seeking to regain
memories and feelings of joy and love. But they also become aware
of things they didn’t do and wish they had, which makes them feel
remorseful. This diminishes their power to take charge in the
present. They need to remember that their past oversights occurred
simply because they didn’t have the Light at the time to know what
they should do. But what they know now can empower them to
reach their goals if they remain focused in the present and look to
the future. The past is only beneficial when they use it to take note
of which behaviors were self-defeating and which behaviors led to
self-respect and strength.
Capricorn North Node people have a difficult time letting go.
They are very sentimental, and they don’t want to hurt anyone’s
feelings. When they start to leave a situation, even if it’s clearly not
working, they get depressed—so they tend to “hang in there” until
they realize, deep down, that there’s no hope. They do all they can
to make the relationship, the job, or the situation work. When their
survival is threatened, they will leave; but they would De much
better off letting go before the situation escalates to that point.
Their difficulty in letting go occurs when they lack goals for the
future. Then they dwell on the past, which makes leaving an old
situation far more difficult. For these folks, the best way to let go of
the past (or a difficult situation in the present) is to focus on a
specific goal that gives them a sense of purpose and direction. For
example, if they have left a romantic relationship and miss the
intimacy, their first tendency is to feel nostalgic and dwell on the
closeness they no longer have. A better resolution would be to focus
their energy on establishing a new relationship by joining a dating
service, going dancing, or participating in other enjoyable social
activities. The past must be released in order to experience the
empowerment of acting in the present.
One of the most difficult things for Capricorn North Node people
to let go of is their drive to control. They always want to make
situations work out their way. They think that if they are in control,
they are realizing their potential—but they need to recognize the
difference between control and management. Trying to control other
people so that their own emotions remain undisturbed means that
Capricorn North Nodes are operating from an emotional plane with
a self-centered view.
However, when their intent is to manage a situation, they
organize things according to a bigger picture—they have already
determined what will work for everyone. Now they are coming
from a place of mental process (not emotions) and goal orientation.
But to reach that place, they must first release the desire to control
others.
Capricorn North Node people always want more—more
attention, more time, more nurturing—in order to feel good. Their
whole world revolves around their family, and they expect the
dynamics to be reciprocal. But more nurturing from family
members usually isn’t forthcoming—it’s just not set up that way in
this lifetime.
Moreover, these folks avoid taking action by always thinking
they need more help, more advice, more confidence—more of
“something” first! They think that the “more” they are seeking will
come from other people. Actually, the “more” that will truly fulfill
them involves focusing on goals that will expand them personally—
and then taking consistent, daily action to reach those goals.
As parents, Capricorn North Node people often seem like “one of
the kids,” because they approach children as equals rather than as
parents. They are reluctant to assume the responsibilities of
parenthood; they question their capability to take care of others
when they are not even sute they can take care of themselves.
Especially when they are young, these folks do anything for
attention. Often when they act moody or snap at another person, it’s
an attempt to gain attention. This attribute sometimes keeps them
from exercising their achievement “muscles”—they think they
should be given attention for who they are, not for what they do.
They may even create crisis in their lives so other people will
become interested in them. However, it’s a double-edged sword
because they often sense this problem in themselves (the fact that
they are “manic” for attention), so they feel guilty and berate
themselves when they think they are getting too much attention.
When they are holding back and not reaching for their goals, they
feel they don’t deserve attention and thereby keep themselves from
receiving the very thing they crave the most. The irony is that when
they set a goal and go for it, others do notice and willingly give
them attention and respect in a healthy, satisfying way. In addition,
when Capricorn North Nodes are taking chances with their lives and
working toward their goals, they feel worthy and become open to
noticing and receiving the attention they need from others.
It would also help these folks to begin paying attention to
themselves; to give themselves credit for making improvements in
various areas of their lives. When they show care and concern for
themselves it mellows them; they begin to feel better about
themselves and less dependent on others.
These folks hesitate to take full responsibility for themselves—it
goes against their grain. They would have to “leave the womb” and
go out into the world! Sometimes it takes a sledgehammer to wake
them up and get them to take charge. They often appear to be
taking responsibility, and with the “small stuff” they usually do:
paying the bills, buying groceries, listening to family problems, and
so on. But they continue to avoid larger issues. For example, when
they try to figure out what to do with their lives, they just sit around
and consider an endless stream of ideas. When they finally become
motivated, they ask themselves: “Do I really want to do this?” Then
they give up again!
Capricorn North Node people have a thousand excuses emanating
from their subconscious, urging them to postpone working toward
what they are here to do in this lifetime—what would truly make
them fulfilled. If they finally say to themselves: “This is ridiculous!
I’m just going to do it!” the commitment is made and they begin
taking steps toward the goal.
Because these folks are very loving, their habit of yielding to
others tends to interfere with their life. They may allow sympathy to
cloud their vision because they don’t want to evoke an emotional
response from others. They let others have their way, rather than
holding to their own principles.
They need to re-examine their values in relation to how they
show love. One value should be keeping commitments, which
creates a basis of inner strength. Capricorn North Node people need
to let others know what the rules and limits are, and then stick to
them unflinchingly. If they say to their teenage son: “You may go
out, but be back by 10 P.M. or you can’t go out for the next three
nights,” they need to stand by that statement. If the teenager returns
at 10:30 P.M., they must be willing to endure his temper tantrums
over the next three nights to stand by what they said.
Of course, if they have done this consistently, the teenager will
already understand that if he breaks the rules, his parents will stand
by the punishment. But if the parents become “sympathetic” and let
their son go out, he will cease to respect them, and they will cease
to respect themselves. These folks must learn to stand behind their
word. Their commitment must be stronger than their fear of
upsetting the other person.
Capricorn North Node people are learning to become responsible
for themselves in this lifetime: figuring out “what they want to be
when they ‘grow up’” and clarifying their goals. Being responsible
for themselves includes supporting themselves financially and
finding other levels on which they have never taken charge before.
That’s exciting and challenging—and it will give them a chance to
grow!
Capricorn North Node people are learning to be adults in this
lifetime and to discard their tendency to have childish reactions. To
be adults requires them to actually make a commitment to a goal.
When they do this, that area of their life becomes absolutely
magical. Suddenly everything works to their advantage, they are
filled with vitality and confidence, and they walk the pathway to
success easily and with great joy. They need to use the technique of
making commitments in areas of their life that are not yet yielding
the results they want. Being willing to face the fear and develop the
habit of making commitments is their key to self-respect and
success.
These folks often have a “hyper” quality—they want to “get to
the next thing.” This emotional restlessness prevents them from
understanding what is important to them and following through. As
soon as they focus on a specific personal goal, the restless
emotional energy is channeled in a productive direction. Until then,
they will only be working toward others’ goals, and will never
notice the opportunities that are being presented to themselves.
Also, Capricorn North Node people sometimes doubt their own
competence to take advantage of opportunities for themselves. In a
childlike way, they think they’re supposed to know things that they
truly don’t know, and they try to hide their lack of experience by
pretending the information isn’t important to them. The adult
perspective is to understand that everyone needs information from
others to reach their goals—no one reaches a goal without input
from others who are more experienced.
These people may also be too ready to obey outer authorities
rather than listen to their own inner truth. They may blindly follow
another’s expertise—especially if they’re paying a lot of money—
even if, in their hearts, they know that something else works better.
However, they are learning to trust themselves and remember that
no one knows what will work for them as well as they do.
These folks have a tough time being the ultimate authority. They
can take charge, instruct others, be the boss, and supervise lots of
employees—under the auspices of someone else. It’s easier for them
to work toward someone else’s goal. They don’t care about getting
the credit, and they certainly don’t want the ultimate responsibility.
The irony is that Capricorn North Node people, more than any
other nodal group, are gifted in their ability to be “the boss.” They
are so emotionally sensitive to others that when they take charge,
they do it in a way that does not diminish others. They are not
blocked in reaching their goal because they haven’t alienated
anyone along the way. As a result, however high their goal,
everyone will support them in reaching it. In fact, they are
scheduled for easy professional success this lifetime, once they’ve
made the commitment to create it.
Often these folks think they are not good communicators, but
they only have difficulty in this area when they become emotional.
When they allow themselves to get lost in their emotions, they can’t
think straight; then, when they speak, it’s just a jumble of emotion!
However, if they pull back from their emotions and speak from the
“in charge” part of themselves, they find the perfect words to evoke
respect and cooperation from others. The difference is the part of
themselves they access: the emotional part, or the adult part. If they
become emotional, they can regain inner equilibrium by asking
themselves: “What can I do to take charge of this situation from an
adult point of view?”
For Capricorn North Node people, strength increases with age.
This applies to every aspect of their life, but especially to their
professional life or other areas of goal fulfillment. The passing
years also help these folks to take things less personally. When
things go “wrong” they understand that they are not personally at
fault—different things come together to create a difficult situation.
As Capricorn North Node people begin to expand and take a larger,
more compassionate view, they also ease up on themselves. When
they stop blaming themselves for everything, they also stop blaming
others.