I didn’t want to listen anymore. Talking was better than listening.
“She’s family to you?” I asked Carlisle. It had caught my notice before, when he’d said I’d helped the rest of his family, too.
“Yes. Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter.”
“But you’re going to let her die.”
He was quiet long enough that I looked up. His face was very, very tired. I knew how he felt.
“I can imagine what you think of me for that,” he finally said. “But I can’t ignore her will. It wouldn’t be right to make such a choice for her, to force her.”
I wanted to be angry with him, but he was making it hard. It was like he was throwing my own words back at me, just scrambled up. They’d sounded right before, but they couldn’t be right now. Not with Bella dying. Still… I remembered how it felt to be broken on the ground under Sam—to have no choice but be involved in the murder of someone I loved. It wasn’t the same, though. Sam was wrong. And Bella loved things she shouldn’t.
“Do you think there’s any chance she’ll make it? I mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me about… about Esme.”
“I’d say there’s an even chance at this point,” he answered quietly. “I’ve seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail… there won’t be anything for me to do.”
Bella’s heartbeat throbbed and faltered, giving an agonizing emphasis to his words.
Maybe the planet had started turning backward. Maybe that would explain how everything was the opposite of what it had been yesterday—how I could be hoping for what had once seemed like the very worst thing in the world.
“What is that thing doing to her?” I whispered. “She was so much worse last night. I saw… the tubes and all that. Through the window.”
“The fetus isn’t compatible with her body. Too strong, for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The bigger problem is that it won’t allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I’m trying to feed her intravenously, but she’s just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I’m watching her—and not just her, but the fetus as well—starve to death by the hour. I can’t stop it and I can’t slow it down. I can’t figure out what it wants.” His weary voice broke at the end.
I felt the same way I had yesterday, when I’d seen the black stains across her stomach—furious, and a little crazy.
I clenched my hands into fists to control the shaking. I hated the thing that was hurting her. It wasn’t enough for the monster to beat her from the inside out. No, it was starving her, too. Probably just looking for something to sink its teeth into—a throat to suck dry. Since it wasn’t big enough to kill anyone else yet, it settled for sucking Bella’s life from her.
I could tell them exactly what it wanted: death and blood, blood and death.
My skin was all hot and prickly. I breathed slowly in and out, focusing on that to calm myself.
“I wish I could get a better idea of what exactly it is,” Carlisle murmured. “The fetus is well protected. I haven’t been able to produce an ultrasonic image. I doubt there is any way to get a needle through the amniotic sac, but Rosalie won’t agree to let me try, in any case.”
“A needle?” I mumbled. “What good would that do?”
“The more I know about the fetus, the better I can estimate what it will be capable of. What I wouldn’t give for even a little amniotic fluid. If I knew even the chromosomal count . . .”
“You’re losing me, Doc. Can you dumb it down?”
He chuckled once—even his laugh sounded exhausted. “Okay. How much biology have you taken? Did you study chromosomal pairs?”
“Think so. We have twenty-three, right?”
“Humans do.”
I blinked. “How many do you have?”
“Twenty-five.”
I frowned at my fists for a second. “What does that mean?”
“I thought it meant that our species were almost completely different. Less related than a lion and a house cat. But this new life—well, it suggests that we’re more genetically compatible than I’d thought.” He sighed sadly. “I didn’t know to warn them.”
I sighed, too. It had been easy to hate Edward for the same ignorance. I still hated him for it. It was just hard to feel the same way about Carlisle. Maybe because I wasn’t ten shades of jealous in Carlisle’s case.
“It might help to know what the count was—whether the fetus was closer to us or to her. To know what to expect.” Then he shrugged. “And maybe it wouldn’t help anything. I guess I just wish I had something to study, anything to do.”
“Wonder what my chromosomes are like,” I muttered randomly. I thought of those Olympic steroids tests again. Did they run DNA scans?
Carlisle coughed self-consciously. “You have twenty-four pairs, Jacob.”
I turned slowly to stare at him, raising my eyebrows.
He looked embarrassed. “I was… curious. I took the liberty when I was treating you last June.”
I thought about it for a second. “I guess that should piss me off. But I don’t really care.”
“I’m sorry. I should have asked.”
“S’okay, Doc. You didn’t mean any harm.”
“No, I promise you that I did not mean you any harm. It’s just that… I find your species fascinating. I suppose that the elements of vampiric nature have come to seem commonplace to me over the centuries. Your family’s divergence from humanity is much more interesting. Magical, almost.”
“Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo,” I mumbled. He was just like Bella with all the magic garbage.
Carlisle laughed another weary laugh.
Then we heard Edward’s voice inside the house, and we both paused to listen.
“I’ll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?” Edward sounded different. There was a little life in his dead voice. A spark of something. Not hope exactly, but maybe the desire to hope.
“What is it, Edward?” Bella asked hoarsely.
“Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?”
“Esme?” Rosalie called. “Can you mind Bella for me?”
I heard the whisper of wind as Esme flitted down the stairs.
“Of course,” she said.
Carlisle shifted, twisting to look expectantly at the door. Edward was through the door first, with Rosalie right on his heels. His face was, like his voice, no longer dead. He seemed intensely focused. Rosalie looked suspicious.
Edward shut the door behind her.
“Carlisle,” he murmured.
“What is it, Edward?”
“Perhaps we’ve been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the… fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought.”
Me? What had I thought? Besides my obvious hatred for the thing? At least I wasn’t alone in that. I could tell that Edward had a difficult time using a term as mild as fetus.
“We haven’t actually addressed that angle,” Edward went on. “We’ve been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the… fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we’ll be able to help her more effectively.”
“I’m not following you, Edward,” Carlisle said.
“Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can’t you guess what it craves—what it’s not getting? Jacob did.”
I did? I ran through the conversation, trying to remember what thoughts I’d kept to myself. I remembered at the same time that Carlisle understood.
“Oh,” he said in a surprised tone. “You think it is… thirsty?”
Rosalie hissed under her breath. She wasn’t suspicious anymore. Her revoltingly perfect face was all lit up, her eyes wide with excitement. “Of course,” she muttered. “Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It’s a good idea,” she added, not looking at me.
“Hmm.” Carlisle put his hand to his chin, lost in thought. “I wonder… And then, what would be the best way to administer. . . .”
Rosalie shook her head. “We don’t have time to be creative. I’d say we should start with the traditional way.”
“Wait a minute,” I whispered. “Just hold on. Are you—are you talking about making Bella drink blood?”
“It was your idea, dog,” Rosalie said, scowling at me without ever quite looking at me.
I ignored her and watched Carlisle. That same ghost of hope that had been in Edward’s face was now in the doctor’s eyes. He pursed his lips, speculating.
“That’s just . . .” I couldn’t find the right word.
“Monstrous?” Edward suggested. “Repulsive?”
“Pretty much.”
“But what if it helps her?” he whispered.
I shook my head angrily. “What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?”
“I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first.”
Rosalie nodded. “If you tell her it might help the baby, she’ll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube.”
I realized then—when I heard how her voice got all loveydovey as she said the word baby—that Blondie would be in line with anything that helped the little life-sucking monster. Was that what was going on, the mystery factor that was bonding the two of them? Was Rosalie after the kid?
From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward nod once, absently, not looking in my direction. But I knew he was answering my questions.
Huh. I wouldn’t have thought the ice-cold Barbie would have a maternal side. So much for protecting Bella—Rosalie’d probably jam the tube down Bella’s throat herself.
Edward’s mouth mashed into a hard line, and I knew I was right again.
“Well, we don’t have time to sit around discussing this,” Rosalie said impatiently. “What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?”
Carlisle took a deep breath, and then he was on his feet. “We’ll ask Bella.”
Blondie smiled smugly—sure that, if it was up to Bella, she would get her way.
I dragged myself up from the stairs and followed after them as they disappeared into the house. I wasn’t sure why. Just morbid curiosity, maybe. It was like a horror movie. Monsters and blood all over the place.
Maybe I just couldn’t resist another hit of my dwindling drug supply.
Bella lay flat on the hospital bed, her belly a mountain under the sheet. She looked like wax—colorless and sort of see-through. You’d think she was already dead, except for the tiny movement of her chest, her shallow breathing. And then her eyes, following the four of us with exhausted suspicion.
The others were at her side already, flitting across the room with sudden darting motions. It was creepy to watch. I ambled along at a slow walk.
“What’s going on?” Bella demanded in a scratchy whisper. Her waxy hand twitched up—like she was trying to protect her balloon-shaped stomach.
“Jacob had an idea that might help you,” Carlisle said. I wished he would leave me out of it. I hadn’t suggested anything. Give the credit to her bloodsucking husband, where it belonged. “It won’t be… pleasant, but—”
“But it will help the baby,” Rosalie interrupted eagerly. “We’ve thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe.”
Bella’s eyelids fluttered. Then she coughed out a weak chuckle. “Not pleasant?” she whispered. “Gosh, that’ll be such a change.” She eyed the tube stuck into her arm and coughed again.
Blondie laughed with her.
The girl looked like she only had hours left, and she had to be in pain, but she was making jokes. So Bella. Trying to ease the tension, make it better for everyone else.
Edward stepped around Rosalie, no humor touching his intense expression. I was glad for that. It helped, just a little bit, that he was suffering worse than me. He took her hand, not the one that was still protecting her swollen belly.
“Bella, love, we’re going to ask you to do something monstrous,” he said, using the same adjectives he’d offered me. “Repulsive.”
Well, at least he was giving it to her straight.
She took a shallow, fluttery breath. “How bad?”
Carlisle answered. “We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours. We think it’s thirsty.”
She blinked. “Oh. Oh.”
“Your condition—both of your conditions—are deteriorating rapidly. We don’t have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory—”
“I’ve got to drink it,” she whispered. She nodded slightly—barely enough energy for a little head bob. “I can do that. Practice for the future, right?” Her colorless lips stretched into a faint grin as she looked at Edward. He didn’t smile back.
Rosalie started tapping her toe impatiently. The sound was really irritating. I wondered what she would do if I threw her through a wall right now.
“So, who’s going to catch me a grizzly bear?” Bella whispered.
Carlisle and Edward exchanged a quick glance. Rosalie stopped tapping.
“What?” Bella asked.
“It will be a more effective test if we don’t cut corners, Bella,” Carlisle said.
“If the fetus is craving blood,” Edward explained, “it’s not craving animal blood.”
“It won’t make a difference to you, Bella. Don’t think about it,” Rosalie encouraged.
Bella’s eyes widened. “Who?” she breathed, and her gaze flickered to me.
“I’m not here as a donor, Bells,” I grumbled. “’Sides, it’s human blood that thing’s after, and I don’t think mine applies—”
“We have blood on hand,” Rosalie told her, talking over me before I’d finished, like I wasn’t there. “For you—just in case. Don’t worry about anything at all. It’s going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better.”
Bella’s hand ran across her stomach.
“Well,” she rasped, barely audible. “I’m starving, so I’ll bet he is, too.” Trying to make another joke. “Let’s go for it. My first vampire act.”