As I studied the neatly manicured graves, I realized many of the sailors on board the ship probably hadn’t been much older than I was and that the four people buried here were an ocean away from the relatives they’d left behind. I wondered if their parents had ever made the trip to Ocracoke to see how they’d been laid to rest, and how heartbreaking it was, no matter what the answer might be.

“It makes me sad,” I finally said, knowing why Bryce hadn’t suggested that we bring the camera. It was a place better remembered in person.

“Me too,” he offered.

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

He brought his lips together and after a while, we walked back to the truck, moving more slowly than usual.

After he dropped me off, I took a long nap and then called Morgan. I’d done that a couple of times since my mom and dad had visited, and we chatted for fifteen minutes. Or more accurately, Morgan did pretty much all the talking and all I had to do was listen. After hanging up, I started getting ready for my date. Clothing-wise, I was limited to the stretchy jeans and the new sweater I’d received for Christmas. Thankfully, my acne had receded, so I didn’t need a lot of foundation or powder. Nor did I go overboard with blush or eye shadow, but I did put on lip gloss.

For the first time, I could really tell I was pregnant. My face was rounder and I was just…bigger, especially my bust. I definitely needed larger bras. I’d have to get them after church, which didn’t quite seem appropriate somehow, but it wasn’t like I had another option.

Aunt Linda was at the stove; she was planning on making beef Stroganoff and I knew Gwen would be joining her. The aroma of her cooking made my stomach rumble and she must have heard it. “Do you want some fruit? To tide you over until dinner?”

“I’ll be okay,” I said. I took a seat at the table.

Despite my answer, she dried her hands and grabbed an apple. “How was today?”

I told her about Photoshopping and the trip to the cemetery. She nodded. “Every year on May eleventh, the anniversary of the sinking, Gwen and I go there to leave flowers and pray for their souls.”

Figures. “I’m glad you do. Have you ever been to Howard’s Pub?”

“Many times. It’s the only restaurant here that’s open year-round.”

“Except for yours.”

“We’re not a real restaurant. You look pretty.”

She quickly sliced the apple into wedges and brought them to the table.

“I look pregnant.”

“No one will be able to tell.”

She went back to cleaning mushrooms while I nibbled on one of the apple slices, which was exactly what my stomach needed. But it made me think…

“How bad is labor?” I asked. “I mean, I’ve heard so many horror stories.”

“That’s hard for me to answer. I’ve never given birth so I can’t speak from experience. And with the girls who stayed with us, I was only in the hospital room with a few of them. Gwen could probably give you a better answer since she’s a midwife, but from what I know, contractions aren’t pleasant. And yet, it’s not so terrible that women refuse to go through it again.”

That made sense, even if it didn’t really answer my question.

“Do you think I should hold the baby after I give birth?”

She took a few seconds to answer. “I can’t answer that, either.”

“What would you do?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

I picked up another wedge, nibbling on it, thinking, but was interrupted when I saw headlights flash through the windows and across the ceiling. Bryce’s truck, I thought with an unexpected burst of nervousness. Which was silly. I’d already spent half the day with him.

“Do you know where Bryce is taking me after dinner?”

“He told me today before you went to his house.”

“And?”

“Make sure you bring a jacket.”

I waited, but she added nothing else. “Are you mad at me for going out with him?”

“No.”

“But you don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“The real question is whether you think it’s a good idea.”

“We’re just friends,” I responded.

She said nothing, but then again, she didn’t have to. Because like me, I realized, she was nervous.

Confession time: This was my first real dinner date. Oh, I’d met a boy and some friends at a pizza parlor once, and the same boy had taken me to get ice cream, but other than that, I was pretty much a novice when it came to how to act or what I was supposed to say.

Fortunately, it took me all of two seconds to realize that Bryce hadn’t ever been on a dinner date, either, since he was acting even more nervous than I was, at least until we got to the restaurant. He’d splashed on an earthy-smelling cologne and he wore a button-up shirt, rolling the sleeves to his elbows, and—maybe because he knew my clothing options were limited—he was wearing jeans just like I was. The difference was that he could have strolled out of a magazine photo shoot, while I resembled a puffier version of the girl I wanted to be.

As for Howard’s Pub, it was pretty much as I expected, with wooden plank floors and walls decorated with pennants and license plates, and fronted by a crowded, boisterous bar. At the table, we picked up the menus, and less than a minute later, a waitress came by to take our drink orders. We both ordered sweet tea, probably making us the only two who hadn’t come for the pub part in the restaurant’s name.

“My mom says the crab cakes are good here,” Bryce remarked.

“Is that what you’re getting?”

“I’ll probably go with the ribs,” he said. “It’s what I always get.”

“Does your family come here often?”

“Once or twice a year. My parents come more often, whenever they need a break from us kids. Supposedly there are times when we can be a bit overwhelming.”

I smiled. “I’ve been thinking about that cemetery,” I commented. “I’m glad we didn’t take pictures.”

“I never do, mostly because of my grandfather. He was one of those merchant marines that the Bedfordshire was trying to protect.”

“Has he ever talked about the war?”

“Not much, other than to say it was the scariest time of his life. Not only because of the submarines, but also because of the storms in the North Atlantic. He’s been through hurricanes, but the waves in the North Atlantic were beyond terrifying. Of course, before the war, he’d never even set foot on the mainland, so pretty much everything was new to him.”

I tried and failed to imagine a life like that. In the silence, I felt the baby move—that watery pressure again—and my hand automatically went to my stomach.

“The baby?” he asked.

“She’s getting very active,” I said.

He set his menu aside. “I know it’s not my decision or even my business, but I’m glad you decided to put the baby up for adoption and not have an abortion.”

“My parents wouldn’t have let me. I suppose I could have gone to Planned Parenthood or whatever on my own, but the thought never crossed my mind. It’s a Catholic thing.”

“I meant that if you had, you never would have come to Ocracoke and I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet you.”

“You wouldn’t have missed much.”

“I’m pretty sure that I would have missed everything.”

I felt a sudden heat at the back of my neck, but thankfully the waitress arrived with our drinks, rescuing me. We placed our orders—crab cakes for me, ribs for him—and while we sipped our tea, the conversation drifted toward easier, less blush-inducing topics. He described the many places around the United States and Europe he had lived; I related the conversation I’d had with Morgan—which mostly revolved around the stress she was under—and shared stories about Madison and Jodie and some of our girlhood adventures, which really centered around slumber parties and occasional makeup fiascoes. Strangely, I hadn’t thought about Madison or Jodie since the conversation with my mom when we’d walked on the beach. Had anyone suggested before I’d arrived here that they would slip my mind for even a day or two, I wouldn’t have believed them. Who, I wondered, was I becoming?

Our salads arrived, then our meals, as Bryce discussed the grueling application process to West Point. He’d received recommendations from both of North Carolina’s U.S. senators, which sort of amazed me—but he said that even if he hadn’t gotten in, he would have gone to another university, then entered the army as an officer after graduation.

“And then the Green Beret thing?”

“Or Delta, which is another step up. If I qualify, I mean.”

“Aren’t you afraid of getting killed?” I asked.

“No.”

“How can you not be afraid?”

“I don’t think about it.”

I knew I’d think about it all the time. “What about after the military? Have you ever thought about what you want to do then? Would you want to be a consultant like your dad?”

“Not a chance. If it was possible, I’d follow in my mom’s footsteps and try to do some travel photography. I think it would be cool to go to remote places and tell stories with my pictures.”

“How do you even get a job doing that?”

“I have no idea.”

“You could always go into dog training. Daisy’s doing much better lately at not wandering off.”

“It would be too hard to give the dogs away over and over. I get too attached.”

I realized that I’d be sad, too. “I’m glad you’re bringing her to the house, then. So you can see her as much as possible before she leaves.”

He rotated his glass of tea. “Would you mind if I stopped to pick her up tonight?”

“What? For the surprise?”

“I think she’d have fun.”

“What are we doing? Can you at least give me a hint?”

He thought about it. “Don’t order dessert.”

“That doesn’t help.”

I saw the slightest of twinkles in his eyes. “Good.”