In past lives, Taurus North Node people entered inseparable,
bonded relationships with people in positions of power and
influence. They were the Queen or Courtesan behind the King and
were privy to the “inside scoop,” but in the end the decisions were
made by the other person. They were the Counselor to the Chief,
Prime Assistant to the President, or Confidant to the General. They
fed all their power, energy, and charisma to their more powerful
soul mate and in exchange received validation and appreciation
from that one person as acknowledgment of their worth.
In past lives, the person of power clothed, fed, and pampered
Taurus North Node. All Taurus North Node had to do was stay
bonded to that person and help fulfill his or her desires, and the
native would experience the finest of lifestyles. So now Taurus
North Node tends to be careless with money (as though someone
else is going to pay off his credit cards), but in this lifetime it’s not
set up to work that way! Taurus North Nodes’ past life dependence
on another person robbed them of the knowledge that they could
earn their own way with their own talents. Thus, in this incarnation
they need to assume financial responsibility for themselves as a way
to regain their self-confidence; when they are not conscious of how
they spend money, they can create disastrous debt.
Other past lifetimes relevant to this one were spent in “ill
repute”—the business of prostitution in one form or another. In
those lives, Taurus North Node people’s success was dependent on
not having their own boundaries so they could successfully merge
with another’s energy field in ways that generated more power than
either person could have done alone. They developed a sensitivity
to others’ needs, which worked very well for them in those
lifetimes. However, such intense merging with others caused Taurus
North Nodes to lose a sense of their own needs and values as a
separate entity. In this incarnation, therefore, when they merge too
closely or quickly with another person, they experience betrayal as
a warning that they should keep their own boundaries, values, and
spiritual ethics.
These folks were experts at psychology in past lives as strategists
and counselors, penetrating the psychology of others to understand
their motives and needs and predict their behavior. They were
around people who were unstable, helping them uncover their
mental or emotional dysfunction, healing them, and receiving
financial protection in return. Their psychic sensitivity enabled
them to predict the mindset of the enemy, as well as attend to the
unspoken needs and desires of their soul mate. However, in this
incarnation their attunement to others distracts them from
effectively pursuing their own direction in a solid, consistent way.
Now it is in their best interest to pull back from deep involvement
with other people and to be more focused on their own business.
Some Taurus North Node people have had past lives in which
they abused power and reacted with violence. In this incarnation
they are learning not to abuse power, and for some this may mean
being victims of abuse themselves. Lessons in this lifetime are not
easy for these folks. They can experience real extremes in life—
ranging from periods of drug or alcohol abuse, to dealing with
severe psychological problems, to sitting in boardrooms in
corporations, to being on a strict spiritual path. Their lives run the
spectrum from the depths of darkness to the highest place of light.
Lifetimes of power struggles with others have resulted in a
consciousness that attracts crisis, trauma, and “living on the edge.”
Taurus North Node people are addicted to the adrenaline rush that
comes from crisis. In order to experience that “high” they disregard
their bodies, their health, and the peacefulness required to sustain a
state of well-being. Time after time, even when it’s unnecessary,
they take risks that throw them into a state of crisis. Then they
thrash and struggle and allow their destructive intensity to wreak
havoc in all areas of their lives. Sometimes they abuse drugs or
alcohol, which creates new crises on a daily basis. Or they may
have a partner in that situation—a person who they saw was
wounded and thought they could heal.
When confronted with an apparently inflexible situation that runs
counter to what they want to create, Taurus North Node people
often overreact with so much intensity that they create a crisis
where none existed. These overreactions are most likely to occur
when Taurus North Node people face a possible separation from a
symbiotic relationship, or feel that the other person may not be 100
percent bonded with them. Lacking a sense of their own self-worth,
they are utterly dependent on the constant approval of their
“primary other” (the person who provides money or energy)—the
dependence means survival. They keep “close tabs” on the other
person’s psyche so they can mitigate their own behavior according
to what the other person considers important. In this way, they feel
they will become indispensable and their survival will be ensured.
If they fear the other person is doing something to hurt them,
their first response is to take action based on revenge. However, if
revenge is their motive, they always lose. They need to focus on
getting their needs met by approaching people and situations in a
practical way. Then they can drop their defensiveness and say to the
other person: “Look, this is really important to me.” Rather than
resorting to power, following the humble approach will work for
them.
The idea is to stay focused on the positive results they want to
create. To take care of their needs is valid for these folks; and if
they fear being wounded or betrayed, they need to do something to
protect themselves. The problem is that they have a tendency to
overreact and blow the whole thing out of proportion.
Taurus North Node people are so passionate that their drive to
experience intense emotion sometimes blots out awareness of what
they’re doing. One of their challenges in this lifetime is to take
charge of that passionate energy and redirect it in constructive
directions. Passion pursued for its own sake and taken to its limit
results in destruction. In this incarnation they are learning to build
rather than destroy, and successful building takes more time than
the intensity to which they are accustomed.
When they are coming from fear, they destroy; when they are
coming from love, they build. They are learning to dedicate their
passion, energy, and mental power to create something worthwhile
—and when they do that, they feel great about it! They are learning
that there is more to life than a stubborn indulgence in taking risks
(financial, personal, or sexual) that lead them into crisis and destroy
their bodies. It is not necessarily what they do but their drastic
approach that wreaks havoc in their lives. They need to slow down
and recognize that by working on themselves, slowly and steadily,
they can establish the sense of grounding and substance that has
eluded them.
These folks have a tremendous need for peace after so many
lifetimes of power struggles with others. They are learning that
when they indulge in a desire to force a situation, the entire
situation will collapse. Conversely, when they add the ingredient of
peace, the situation will shift to their advantage in a way that works
to the good of all concerned.
In this lifetime, Taurus North Node people are learning to
experience their own self-worth. In past incarnations they gave up
what was important to them in order to integrate their power with
another. They used validation as a barometer of whether they were
“on track” in successfully empowering the other person—and this
worked in past lives. But they became attached to receiving
validation and began doing whatever was necessary to get it,
sometimes violating their own personal morals and ethics.
Because they have extinguished their own value system, they
came into this lifetime with no sense of self-worth apart from the
feedback of others. This makes them incredibly vulnerable to
adopting the values of those around them.
Although it was correct in the past, in this incarnation it is not set
up to work when they focus on empowering their partner with the
silent expectation that the partner will take care of them financially
or validate them in some other way. In this lifetime they are
learning to build a sense of self-esteem directly, by living according
to their own value system. They need to empower others only when
it is what they want to do, it fits with their own values, and they
have no expectation of getting anything in return.
Taurus North Node people have a tendency to toot their own
horns. They often jump in and use something another person says as
a springboard to focus the conversation on a past victory, a way
they have helped another, or a story illustrating how powerful they
are—then they talk incessantly! Subconsciously, what they are
seeking is validation.
During interactions with others they begin to feel insecure, so
they try to compensate by focusing attention on themselves in order
to gain outward validation. They hope that others will see their
worth and appreciate and respect them so that their insecurity will
subside. Unfortunately, it’s a “temporary fix.” They have to keep
doing it; and in reality, the habit of focusing on themselves turns
other people off. The irony is that Taurus North Nodes’ feelings of
inadequacy only arise when they begin to judge themselves or
compare themselves with others.
These folks carry a lot of anger. However, if they take a deeper
look, they will see that their anger is really based on fear: fear of not
being respected, not being liked, not being treated like a human
being. So when they feel angry in a specific situation, they can ask
themselves: “What am I afraid of?” This will help put them in touch
with a resolution.
Taurus North Node people often become frustrated and feel
robbed of self-worth when they do not get the validation they think
they deserve from others. All their fears are around the issue of:
“How am I going to be acknowledged or recognized?” They feel
afraid and angry because they’re giving and they’re not getting back
what they need. But this need can never be satisfied externally.
They can never get enough validation from others—no matter how
much wealth, prestige, and power they have—to feel good about
themselves on a deep level. The resolution to their anger involves
beginning to live in ways that are self-validating, in accord with
their own values. When they stop looking to others to provide their
sense of self-worth and start looking inside themselves, suddenly
their anger becomes productive energy.
Sometimes Taurus North Node people pursue careers that are not
really what they feel called to do, but are what they think will draw
validation from other people. They are vulnerable to pursuing
professions that others view as “lofty” so that they can get applause.
Then if they’re not feeling appreciated, it can poison their
enjoyment of their job. In such a situation, their best bet is to reflect
on what aspect of their job makes them feel good: Is the job
furthering values that they think are important? Are they using skills
that make them feel good about themselves? Are they doing an
outstanding job that gives them confidence? Are they making the
money they think their work deserves? They need to get in touch
with what they appreciate about their job and consciously validate
themselves for being “on path” with those values. This is validation
they can count on consistently—appreciating themselves for being
themselves rather than for meeting someone else’s needs.
Validation from others is “energy food” for these folks. They
always enjoy a phone call or visit from a friend because it’s an
acknowledgment of their existence. They need to establish ways of
feeding themselves energy so that they become self-contained. Then
they can interact with others because they want to, rather than out of
neediness.
One positive, self-validating action would be to set up a financial
plan for themselves. In addition, spending time each day putting
energy into things that are personally meaningful for them is selfvalidating—such as preparing good meals. The idea is to engage in
regular activities that nurture and help them feel good about
themselves, regardless of the input of others. When they do this,
they are “on track.”
In childhood, the parents of these natives sought to impose their
values on the Taurus North Node child. This is “normal” parental
behavior, but most children simply discount parental values that are
noticeably different from the internal values they are born with.
However, Taurus North Node children have no preestablished
internal values, so they are totally open to absorbing the values of
their parents. They cannot see that they are separate from the
parents. Breaking the subconscious bond with their parents is one of
their major life challenges.
These folks are learning to express what they need and to avoid
thinking about others’ needs first. They often feel they are moving
through life reacting to other people’s situations and “falling into”
things, as opposed to consciously recognizing where they are and
where they want to go. They tend to be too focused on the
motivations of others—subconsciously seeking what they need by
first defining what the other person wants. However, they often go
off track when they do this. They may think they fully understand
another’s motivations, and take action or respond to the person on
that basis, only to find that their appraisal was incorrect.
It works best when they avoid tuning in to the desires and
opinions of others, and instead focus on their own needs: “This is
what I need. . . . These are my reasons.” To build an unshakable
sense of security and successfully reach goals, Taurus North Node
people need to keep in touch with their level of comfort and
determine their boundaries. When they are considering a goal, they
need to ask themselves: “Do I feel comfortable about this goal?
Does it feel right?” They can also use their internal sense of comfort
to determine when they are moving too quickly; if they are, they
need to slow down and continue at a pace that is comfortable for
them. When they stand firm within their own boundaries,
progressing in the development of what is truly important to them,
they will find others more willing to make adjustments to
accommodate what these folks deem important.
Taurus North Node people have a tendency to “shoot
themselves in the foot”—to do things that keep them from
experiencing success. Their goal is important to them, and they’re
pledged to it wholeheartedly. But they also feel unworthy and
subconsciously put up roadblocks so they can’t achieve the goal.
And then they keep banging against the door, knowing that it won’t
open.
The motive for defeating themselves is generally something they
are not aware of; thus, some introspection or psychological probing
is necessary for these folks. Sometimes it is self-punishment for a
real or imagined experience, or something they feel guilty about,
that pulls them back from successfully reaching the goal. For
example, when they were five years old, they may have pushed
their little brother, who hit his head and had to go to the hospital—
and subconsciously they still feel guilty.
Reaching goals involves taking tried-and-true, systematic steps
for getting there. But these natives have so much inner resistance
that they leave out the one obvious thing that would ensure their
success. If they want to go to medical school, are fully qualified,
and have good grades, they may apply to several top medical
schools but not also apply to an easier-entry medical school. Then if
they don’t get accepted at any of the top schools, they’ve blocked
their entire path.
Another way Taurus North Node people subconsciously defeat
themselves is by going too far out on a limb without a safety net.
It’s like jumping without a backup parachute or driving without a
seat belt: They take unwarranted chances. The bottom line is that
they need to rely on their own energies to reach the goals they seek.
They can hope that the promises of others will come through, but in
the end it’s up to them to ensure that all the bases are covered
regardless of what unexpected things may happen. They need to use
more than logic: They have to use common sense and strategize
their lives.
The key is a practical, step-by-step approach focusing on the next
step they need to take rather than becoming fixated on the exact
means of reaching their goal. Since they don’t have a lot of practical
past life experience, it’s fine for them to check out their strategies
with others who have successfully created results similar to what
they want.
These folks sometimes want to be “more” than they are (they like
to impress other people), and this can lead to problems. They are
learning that they are okay just as they are. The self-sabotage comes
from wanting to move too fast or to be “bigger” than they are at the
moment. They need to stay with themselves, grounded in their
bodies.
Taurus North Node people are largely unaware of the serious
damage they do to others when they make harsh judgments.
Without regard for the other’s feelings, they thoughtlessly rip to
shreds another’s belief system with a great deal of righteous
enthusiasm. They hold nothing sacred and therefore have no qualms
about destroying what may be sacred to another.
Needless to say, being judgmental does not win them any friends.
In fact, it alienates them from those who would otherwise want to
be close. People don’t trust them because they fear being judged.
These folks are learning to stop destroying what others have built,
and instead focus on building what is important and valuable to
themselves. The best way to fight “evil” is for them to make
energetic progress for “good.”
In fact, the things that upset them about others’ behavior can be a
clue to finding their own values. For example, if they are criticizing
another for having two sexual relationships simultaneously, perhaps
it is a clue that they themselves value monogamy—and
“monogamy” should be written on their “Values Important to Me”
list. As they begin to live by those values, they will start to build a
sense of self-worth. As they remain consistently true to their own
values, they will become less judgmental about others who have
different values.
Taurus North Node people also tend to be highly judgmental of
themselves and undermine their own self-worth. They have a code
of correct conduct against which they measure everyone—and most
harshly themselves. They can be their own worst enemy. When
things don’t work out in the way they expect, they blame
themselves for being out of alignment. Therefore they suffer twice:
once with the momentary bad mood, and again by casting
themselves as wrong for having had the bad mood.
They often compare themselves to other people and feel jealous
of what others have—this makes their lives much more complicated
and much less happy! For any of us, if what we are doing in our
lives is making us happy, then we’re on track. But the moment we
compare ourselves to others, we lose. Someone is always higher or
lower, depending on the standards we use. Taurus North Nodes are
learning that it’s not their job to judge; it’s their job to simply walk
through life handling each situation the best they can and moving
step by step in the direction they feel is personally meaningful.
Because they are often unclear about their own boundaries,
Taurus North Node people have a tendency to meddle. These folks
feel free to get involved in other people’s business but are shocked
when others get involved in their affairs—and they can be terribly
opinionated! When they speculate on the subconscious motivations
of another, they form all kinds of conclusions about the other
person. Then they become upset because they’ve decided what the
other person ought to be doing, and he’s not doing it.
The problem is that these folks are projecting their own values
onto others and then judging them when they don’t measure up. The
other person’s goals may be totally different, and the path she is
traveling may be exactly correct for her. For example, if the Taurus
North Node person wants marriage and commitment, she may be
extremely judgmental about a friend who enjoys dating men who
are not “marriage material.” However, the friend may not want to
settle down at this point in her life, so dating men with whom she
has nice, short-term relationships may be correct for her. Taurus
North Nodes must have the humility to understand that others may
have different values and goals. They need to stay out of other
people’s business and focus on their own self-development.
Taurus North Node people also tend to inadvertently
communicate their ideas in an intense and judgmental way that
causes discomfort for those around them. They are pointing out
others’ dysfunctions without admitting that they have that same
tendency. Because they have not yet “owned” these qualities in
themselves, they are unable to make comments without heavy
emotional overtones. The key is to recognize that trait or behavior
in themselves and forgive themselves for it—then they won’t have
to justify themselves by trying to define Right Action for others.
As their personal conduct becomes grounded through
exemplifying the qualities they value, they will feel at peace. They
will no longer be tempted to be judgmental when they see qualities
they don’t admire in others, because they will have gained the
knowledge they need: They will know who they are and what they
stand for.
Another aspect of Taurus North Nodes’ tendency to get involved
in others’ business comes from past lives as mental healers
(psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, witch doctors) specializing
in exploring the depths of another’s subconscious. However, in this
lifetime it is in their best interests to separate themselves from the
energy fields of other people’s minds and focus on their own
business instead.
These folks are very sensitive to the judgments of others, and if
someone affects their energy field in a negative way, it’s okay for
them not to spend a lot of time around that person. In past lives,
they developed attunement so they could be as close with the other
person as possible. They became very aware of how that person
viewed them so they could adjust their behavior instantly to better
accommodate the unit. However, in this incarnation, using their
sensitivity to pick up on how others may be viewing them will
disconnect them from the power of just being themselves. Their job
is to stay out of other people’s minds and business. A good
affirmation for them is: “What others think of me is none of my
business!”
Sometimes Taurus North Node people are drawn into positions
of great influence. They become attorneys in high-powered law
firms, executives in large corporations, and so on. Holding these
positions sometimes triggers an unscrupulous side of their nature.
When that aspect emerges, they are not loyal to their employees,
their own ethics, or themselves—they become attached to ego gain.
When they opt for full ego involvement they are willing to do
anything to get ahead, and they begin to think they are “selling their
souls” to progress in the world of money and power. Often they
“sell out” by allowing other people to give them things with strings
attached. Pretty soon they’re going along with someone else’s
game, living according to others’ values.
These folks are so accustomed to giving their power to others that
when temptations arise in this incarnation, it’s easy for them to yield
in order to gain power and special privileges. And they have a lot of
power in that position: They hire, they fire, they can make or break
people. This inflates the ego. They may abuse that power by letting
employees “sweat it out,” worrying about whether or not they still
have a job. However, these tactics lead to a breakdown of employee
morale, and Taurus North Nodes lose the goodwill, trust, and
loyalty of the workers.
They are learning to resist temptations to abuse power. After all,
“what goes around, comes around”; when they abuse power, it
always comes back to haunt them. They are learning that they
cannot go against their own values without severely undermining
their self-worth. And that’s pretty serious, because self-esteem is
what Taurus North Node people are aiming for in this lifetime.
Even when these folks have chosen the path of Light, they are
aware of their “dark side.” For example, I had a Taurus North Node
client who worked as a waitress. Her Higher Self was very aware
that the most difficult customers are those who need love the most.
When she consciously gave them love and positive energy, in most
cases they became more agreeable. But she would go back to the
kitchen and pantomime punching somebody! That action was her
past life tendencies being released. She would then go back to the
customer and come from the loving place she knew was “correct.”
But sometimes these natives’ instinctive response is to let their pastlife side “beat the heck” out of someone.
Taurus North Node people sometimes live on the dark side,
suspecting others’ motives and projecting evil (looking for it) on
those around them. They will learn much about themselves by
viewing the evil they see in others as a reflection of their own
subconscious. Also, when they look for evil they become vulnerable
to negative energy that holds them back. To avoid being victimized
by this tendency, their best bet is to stop focusing on the “dark side”
in others and pay attention to the strength they are building in their
own lives. They need to be like a horse with blinders, focusing on
the positive things they want to manifest. As they use their powerful
psyches to focus on the Light, they will attract positive forces.