In the past, I’d had the strongest effect on her when I’d been searching most intensely to hear her secret thoughts. Amused by the futility, I tried again. I stared deeply into her clear, dark eyes. My own narrowed and I struggled fiercely through the silence. Of course there was nothing to hear.She blinked four times fast, her nervous expression shifting to one that was more… stunned.I felt I was on the right path.Leaning closer, I placed my hands against the hardtop, one on either side of her head. She took a half step back, pressing herself against the door. Did she need more space? Her chin angled up, her face set at the perfect incline for me to kiss her. Probably not, then. I moved a few inches closer. Her eyes closed halfway, her lips parted.“Now, what exactly are you worrying about?” I murmured.She blinked fast again, and took a gasping breath—I wasn’t at all sure what I was supposed to be doing about her frequent breathing lapses. Did I need to remind her at intervals?“Well…” She swallowed, then sucked in another ragged breath. “Um, hitting a tree. And dying. And then getting sick.”I grinned at her order of events, then forced my face back into its former expression of intensity. Slowly I leaned down and pressed my lips into the small indentation between her collarbones. Her breath caught and her heart fluttered.My lips moved against the skin of her throat. “Are you still worried now?”It took her a moment to find her voice. “Yes?” She whispered the word, unsure. “About hitting trees… and getting sick?”Slowly I tilted my face up, tracing the length of her throat with my nose and lips. I breathed my next question into the hollow just under the edge of her jaw. Her eyes slid all the way closed.“And now?”She was breathing in quick pants. “Trees?” she gasped. “Motion sickness?”I brushed my lips up the side of her face, then softly kissed first one eyelid, then the next.“Bella, you don’t really think I would hit a tree, do you?” My tone was gently chiding. After all, she was the one who thought I was good at everything. Perhaps if I made the question about her faith in me.“No,” she breathed. “But I might.”Slow and deliberate, I kissed my way across her cheek, pausing right at the edge of her mouth. “Would I let a tree hurt you?”My upper lip touched her lower lip with the slightest pressure imaginable.“No,” she sighed. It was a soft sound, almost a coo.Now my lips moved lightly against hers as I whispered, “You see, there’s nothing to be afraid of, is there?”“No,” she agreed with a shuddering sigh.And then, though I’d only been intending to overwhelm her, I found myself wholly overcome.It didn’t feel like my mind was in control. My body was as much in command as it was when I hunted—impulse and appetite overthrowing reason. Only now my desire was not for the old needs I’d had time to master. These were new passions, and I hadn’t yet learned how to govern them.My mouth crushed too roughly against hers, my hands strained her face closer to my own. I wanted to feel her skin against every part of me. I wanted to hold her so close that we could never be separated.This new fire—a fire without pain, that ravaged only my ability to think—raged even hotter when her arms wrapped tightly around my neck and her body bowed into mine. Her heat and her pulse were fused against my own form from chest to thigh. I was drowning in sensation.Her lips opened against mine, with mine, and it seemed every part of me could think of nothing but deepening that kiss.Ironically, it was my basest instinct that saved her.Her warm breath surged into my mouth, and my involuntary reflexes reacted—venom flowed, muscles clenched. It was enough of a shock to bring me back to myself.I reeled away from her, feeling her hands slide down my neck and chest.Horror flooded my mind.How close had I just come to harming her? To killing her?I could see it as clearly as I could see her startled face in front of me now—a world without her. I’d considered this fate so many times that I didn’t have to imagine now the vastness of that empty world, the agony of it. I knew it wasn’t a world I could endure.Or… a world in which she was miserable. If she, in total innocence, had touched her tongue to one of the razor-sharp edges of my teeth…“Damn it, Bella!” I gasped, barely hearing the words that twisted out of me. “You’ll be the death of me, I swear you will.” I shuddered, sickened by myself.Killing her would surely kill me, too. Her life was my only life—my fragile, finite life.She braced her hands against her knees, trying to catch her breath.“You’re indestructible,” she mumbled.She was close to right about my physical durability, so different from her own; she didn’t know how soundly my existence was knotted to hers. And she didn’t know how close she’d just been to vanishing.“I might have believed that before I met you,” I groaned and took a deep breath. It didn’t feel safe to be alone with her. “Now let’s get out of here before I do something really stupid.”I reached for her and she seemed to understand the need to hurry. She didn’t object as I lifted her onto my back. She wrapped her arms and legs fast around me, and I had to struggle for a second again to keep my mind in control of my body.“Don’t forget to close your eyes,” I warned her.Her face pressed tight against my shoulder.The run wasn’t long, but it was long enough for me to get myself in order. It seemed I couldn’t trust anything when it came to my instincts; just because I was confident about my self-control in one way didn’t mean I could take any other control for granted. I would have to take a step back and draw a careful line to protect her. I would have to limit physical contact to some form that didn’t affect her ability to breathe or mine to think. It was pathetic that the second concern should be more important than the first.She never moved during the short journey. I heard her breath coming evenly, and her heartbeat seemed stable, if slightly elevated. She held still even when I came to a stop.I reached behind me to stroke her hair. “It’s over, Bella.”She loosened her arms first, taking a deep breath, and then relaxed her taut legs. Suddenly, the warmth of her body vanished.“Oh!” she huffed.I spun around to find her splayed awkwardly on the ground like a child’s doll tossed to the floor. The shock in her eyes was rapidly turning to indignation, as if she had no idea how she’d gotten there, but knew someone was surely to blame.I’m not sure why it was so funny. Perhaps I was just overwrought. Maybe it was the powerful relief I was beginning to feel now that the close call was once again behind me. Or I just needed the release.For whatever reason, I started laughing and couldn’t immediately stop.Bella rolled her eyes at my reaction, sighed, and stood up. She tried to wipe the mud off her jacket with such a long-suffering expression that I could only laugh harder.She glared at me once, then marched forward.I choked back my humor and darted after to catch her lightly by the waist, trying to force my voice to sound composed as I asked, “Where are you going, Bella?”She wouldn’t look at me. “To watch a baseball game,” she answered. “You don’t seem to be interested in playing anymore, but I’m sure the others will have fun without you.”“You’re going the wrong way,” I informed her.She inhaled once through her nose, tilted her chin to an even more stubborn angle, then spun 180 degrees and stomped off in the opposite direction. I caught her again. This was not the correct way, either.“Don’t be mad,” I pleaded. “I couldn’t help myself. You should have seen your face.” Another laugh escaped; I tried to swallow the one that followed.She finally looked up, meeting my gaze with anger sparking in her eyes. “Oh, you’re the only one who’s allowed to get mad?”I remembered how little she liked double standards.“I wasn’t mad at you,” I assured her.Her voice nearly dripped acid as she quoted me. “‘Bella, you’ll be the death of me.’”My humor turned black but didn’t totally disappear. I’d spoken more truth in that moment of wild emotion than I’d meant to. “That was simply a statement of fact.”She twisted in my hold, trying to pull away. I put one hand against her cheek so she couldn’t hide her face from me.Before I could say more, she insisted, “You were mad!”“Yes,” I agreed.“But you just said—”“That I wasn’t mad at you.” Nothing seemed funny now. She’d taken the blame on herself. “Can’t you see that, Bella? Don’t you understand?”She frowned, confused and frustrated. “See what?”“I’m never angry with you,” I explained. “How could I be? Brave, trusting… warm as you are.” Forgiving, kind, sympathetic, sincere, good… essential, crucial, life-giving… I could have gone on for a while, but she interrupted.“Then why…?” she whispered.I assumed her unfinished thought was something along the lines of Why did you snap at me so cruelly?I took her face between both my hands, trying to communicate with my eyes as much as with my words, trying to put more force into each one.“I infuriate myself,” I told her. “The way I can’t seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes… I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to—”I was surprised when her fingers touched my lips, blocking the rest of what I wanted to say.“Don’t,” she murmured.The confusion had disappeared from her face, leaving only kindness behind.I lifted her hand from my mouth and pressed it to my cheek.“I love you,” I told her. “It’s a poor excuse for what I’m doing, but it’s still true.”She stared at me with such warmth, such… adoration. There seemed to be only one answer to such a look.It would have to be a restrained answer. There could be no more impulsiveness.“Now, please try to behave yourself,” I murmured, speaking more to myself than to her.Gently, I pressed my lips against hers for one brief second.She was very still, holding even her breath. I straightened up quickly, waiting for her to breathe again.She sighed.“You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember? We’d better get going.”Helping me again. I wished my weakness didn’t force her to have to be so strong.“Yes, ma’am.”I freed her, taking one of her hands to lead her forward on the correct course. We only had ten yards to go before we passed the edge of the wood and entered the huge, open field my family simply called the clearing. The trees had been scraped away by a glacier long ago, and now just a thin layer of soil covered the bedrock beneath. Wild grass and bracken were the only things that flourished here now. It was a convenient play place for us.Carlisle was setting up the diamond while Alice and Jasper practiced some new tricks she wanted to perfect: If Jasper decided in advance to run a certain direction, Alice could see this decision and throw to his new position before he’d telegraphed the move. It didn’t give them much of an advantage, but as closely matched as we all were, anything had the potential to make them more competitive.Esme was waiting for Bella and me, with Emmett and Rosalie sitting close beside her. When we stepped into view, I saw Rosalie yank her hand out of Esme’s before she turned her back to us and walked away.Well, she hadn’t promised nice. I knew it was a large enough concession for her to simply be here.Utterly ridiculous. Esme didn’t agree with me. She’d been trying to cajole Rose out of her mood all afternoon without much effect, and she was exasperated.It’ll be all right once we start, Emmett was thinking. Like me, he was just relieved Rose had come.Esme and Emmett moved forward to welcome us. I gave Emmett a cautioning look, and he grinned at me. Don’t worry, I promised.He eyed Bella with interest. It was one thing to be around humans while visiting in their world, but something else entirely to have one visit ours. It was exciting. And a human who was, to his mind, more or less one of us now. He had only positive experiences with adding to the family. He was eager to include Bella as well.I might have enjoyed his enthusiasm, but underneath his fascination with something new, I could see that he didn’t doubt Alice’s version of things.I would be patient. They would all come to understand over time.“Was that you we heard, Edward?” Esme asked. She made her voice louder than was necessary so Bella wouldn’t be left out.“It sounded like a bear choking,” Emmett added.Bella smiled shyly. “That was him.”Emmett grinned at her, pleased with her gameness to play along.“Bella was being unintentionally funny,” I explained.Alice was rocketing toward us. I supposed it shouldn’t worry me that she was being so herself. She could see better than I could guess what would frighten Bella and what would not.She skipped to a stop just an arm’s length away.“It’s time,” Alice intoned solemnly, working the oracle vibe for Bella’s benefit. Thunder shattered the stillness right on cue. I shook my head.“Eerie, isn’t it?” Emmett murmured to Bella, winking when she looked surprised that he was addressing her. She grinned at him, only a little hesitant.He glanced at me. I like her.“Let’s go!” Alice urged, reaching for Emmett’s hand. She knew exactly how long we could get away with playing unrestrained, and she didn’t want to waste any time. Emmett was no less eager to get started. Together, they raced toward Carlisle.Can I have a moment with her? I’d like her to be comfortable with me, Esme entreated. I could see how much it meant to her, for Bella to see her as a person and a friend, not something to be feared. I nodded, then turned to Bella.“Are you ready for some ball?” I grinned, easily inferring from Charlie’s comments that this evening was an anomaly for her. Well, hopefully we could keep her entertained.“Go team?”I laughed at her put-on enthusiasm, and then gave Esme her desired space, chasing after Emmett and Alice.I listened to Esme chatting with Bella as I joined the others. She didn’t have any information she wanted to impart or extract—she just wanted to interact with Bella—but I was riveted regardless. I divided my attention between that conversation and the one around me.“Edward and I already picked teams,” Rosalie said. “Jasper and Emmett are with me.”Alice was unsurprised. Emmett liked the odds. Jasper was less enthused; he preferred to work with Alice rather than against her. Carlisle was, like me, pleased at Rosalie’s engagement with the game.Esme was complaining about our poor sportsmanship, obviously preparing Bella for the worst.Carlisle pulled out a quarter. “Call it, Rose.”“She chose the teams,” I objected.Carlisle looked at me and then pointedly at Alice, who had already seen that the coin would fall heads up.“Rose,” he said again, and flipped the quarter into the air.“Heads.”I sighed, and she grinned. Carlisle caught the coin neatly and flipped it onto his forearm.“Heads,” he confirmed.“We’ll bat,” Rosalie said.Carlisle nodded, and he, Alice, and I moved to take our fielding positions.Esme was telling Bella about her first son now, and I was surprised at the intimate direction their conversation had taken. This was Esme’s rawest wound, but she was gentle and composed as she spoke. I wondered why she’d decided to share that.Or perhaps Esme hadn’t decided at all. There was something about the way Bella listened.… Hadn’t I been eager to spill every dark secret I’d ever had? Hadn’t young Jacob Black betrayed an ancient treaty simply to amuse her? She must have this effect on everyone.I moved into deep left field. I could still hear Bella’s voice clearly.“You don’t mind, then? That I’m… all wrong for him?” Bella asked.Poor child, Esme thought. This must be so overwhelming for her.“No,” she told Bella, and I could hear that this was true. All Esme wanted was my happiness. “You’re what he wants. It will work out, somehow.”But, like Emmett, she could only see one way. I was glad I was far enough out that Bella couldn’t read my face clearly.Alice waited until Esme was in the umpire’s position, Bella at her side, before she stepped onto the makeshift mound.“All right, batter up,” Esme called.Alice hurled out the first pitch. Emmett, too eager, took a massive swing that whistled so closely by the ball that the air pressure disrupted the straight line of the pitch. Jasper snagged the ball out of the air, then whipped it back to Alice.“Was that a strike?” I heard Bella whisper to Esme.“If they don’t hit it, it’s a strike,” Esme responded.Alice fired another pitch across the plate. Emmett had recalibrated. I was running before I heard the detonation as the bat and the ball collided.Alice had already seen where the ball was headed, and that I was fast enough. It took a bit of the fun out of the game—honestly, Rose should have known better than to let Alice and me play on the same team—but I was intending to win tonight.I raced back with the ball, hearing Esme call Emmett out right as I made it back to the edge of the clearing.“Emmett hits the hardest, but Edward runs the fastest,” Esme was explaining to Bella.I grinned at them, happy to see that Bella looked entertained. Her eyes were wide, but so was her smile.Emmett took Jasper’s place behind home plate while Jasper took the bat, though it was Rosalie’s turn to catch. That was irritating; surely standing within a ten-foot radius of Bella was not that enormous a burden. I was starting to wish I hadn’t pushed to get her here.Jasper wasn’t planning to see how fast I could run; he knew he couldn’t hit as far as Emmett. Instead, he caught Alice’s pitch off the end of the bat, driving the ball close enough to Carlisle that it was obvious he would need to be the one to chase it. Carlisle dashed right to scoop it up, then raced Jasper to first base. It was very close, but Jasper’s left foot connected with the base just before Carlisle connected with him.“Safe,” Esme declared.Bella was leaning up on her tiptoes, her hands covering her ears with the v visible between her brows, but she relaxed as soon as Carlisle and Jasper were on their feet again. She glanced toward me, and her smile came back.I could feel the palpable tension as Rosalie took her turn at bat. Though Bella was out of her line of sight while she faced Alice on the mound, Rosalie’s shoulders seemed to curl inward, away from Bella. Her stance was stiff and her expression rigid with distaste.I glared at her critically, and she curled her lip at me.You wanted me here.Rose was distracted enough that Alice’s first pitch sailed past her into Emmett’s hand. She frowned more deeply and tried to concentrate.Alice launched the ball toward Rose again; this time Rose got a piece of it, whacking it past third. I ran in, but Alice already had it. Instead of throwing Rose out, for which there was time, Alice whirled and bolted toward home. Jasper was already halfway between third and home. He put his shoulder down as though he was planning to knock Alice off the plate the way he had Carlisle, but Alice didn’t wait for him to charge her. She executed a clever half-spin, half-slide maneuver, gliding past him and then tagging him from behind. Esme called him out, but Rosalie had made use of the distraction to get to second.I could guess their next play before Emmett traded spots with Jasper again. Emmett would hit a long sacrifice fly to get Rosalie home. Alice had seen the same, but it looked like they would succeed. I moved back to the tree line, but if I ran to the spot Alice saw the ball heading to before Emmett actually hit it, Esme would penalize us for cheating. I coiled my muscles, ready to race—not the ball, but Alice’s vision.Emmett hit this one high rather than long, knowing gravity was slower than I was.