During the next couple of days, I thought long and hard about telephoning Jackson, or even driving down to Broad-Meadows to see him in person. As I worked in the garden, putting the finishing touches in place for the grand opening on Sunday, I played through the conversation that I would have with him. It was always loud and very one-sided.
Somehow, I resisted the urge. I didn’t call and I didn’t visit. For every fibre that wanted to rant and wipe the smug smile off his face, there was a counterpart, refusing to allow him the satisfaction of knowing that his selfish actions had had such a devastating impact on my new life in Nightingale Square.
With Nell thankfully recovered and able to accompany me in the garden again, I worked from before dawn to after dusk, making sure everything was as perfect for the grand reveal as it possibly could be. I didn’t let on to either Chloe or Luke that anything was amiss. I knew I could confide in my new friends, but found I didn’t want to.
If I asked Chloe for more details, or Luke if he’d heard anything, the thought that I’d lost Finn, having only just found him, would become real and I simply couldn’t cope with that. It was difficult enough sending texts and hanging on for replies that never came.
‘So, how’s it all looking?’ Luke asked, as I was getting ready to leave long after it had turned dark on Friday. ‘Shall we have a look at these lights?’
I couldn’t help but smile, in spite of my turmoil.
‘I thought you wanted it to be a surprise?’ I reminded him.
I’d had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to wait. He’d had a company in to install some strategic lighting to highlight certain parts of the garden, impressive specimen shrubs, trees with interesting bark and the like. I knew how spectacular the illuminations looked because Maddie, the woman heading up the installation, had secretly shown me when Luke was out, but he was supposed to be waiting until the open-day evening before he saw it all.
‘I do,’ he said, rocking back on his heels, ‘but it could be a surprise that I have now, couldn’t it?’
‘No,’ I said, ushering him out of the garden office where the main control panel had been installed. ‘Wait until Sunday. I promise it will be worth it.’
He looked a little sulky but I resisted telling him that he could operate some of the lights independently, from the switches next to the chosen trees and shrubs, because I knew he would have been off around the garden and most likely blowing the bulbs in his excitement.
‘Oh, all right,’ he relented. ‘I’ll wait. We’ll see you in the morning, yes?’
It was the last Winterfest session – making a needlefelt robin under Heather’s competent guidance. The little collection of felted woodland animals and garden birds she made were exquisite. So exquisite that we’d all told her she should be selling them. That said, I had no idea how she found the time to craft them with three tiny tots under her feet, so perhaps running a business, even a small one, might have been a bit of an ask.
‘Yes,’ I nodded, ‘I’ll be there.’
‘I can’t believe it’s the final session,’ Luke said wistfully. ‘The last few weeks have flown by, haven’t they?’
‘Just a bit.’
‘This time next week it’ll be Christmas Day,’ he pointed out. ‘The end of Christmas Day!’
I still hadn’t decided how I would be spending mine. Not with Finn, obviously, but I wasn’t sure I could face a return to the family fold. I knew I would be made to feel welcome, but still thought I’d be better off, with Nell, home alone. I didn’t want my mood ruining anyone else’s seasonal celebrations.
‘Right then,’ said Luke when I didn’t bemoan the fact that in just one week’s time it would all be over. ‘I’d better get back. See you tomorrow, Freya.’
‘Yes,’ I swallowed, ‘see you tomorrow.’
The Prosperous Place dining room looked as beautiful as ever the next day and it was a full house and a couple of last-minute additional Nightingale Square attendees who greeted me as I took my place at the table. I tried to focus on the demonstration Heather was giving which would enable us, allegedly, to replicate the jolly round robin she had provided for each of us so we knew what we were working towards, but I couldn’t take it in.
Once she had distributed supplies, I began stabbing at the wool with my needle, which was surprisingly cathartic, and my mind wandered.
‘Don’t rush, Freya,’ Heather told me as she made her way around to check on everyone’s progress and monitor their technique. ‘The more time you spend getting this bit right, the more solid the little chap will be.’
I nodded and she moved around to where Lisa was working, most likely to tell her something similar. For some reason our friend seemed to be more adept at stabbing her finger than her creation and she was being most vociferous about it. That said, Lisa was generally vociferous about everything, so that was nothing new.
During the mid-morning coffee break, Kate asked if it would be a help if Luke popped over to let Nell out at lunchtime.
‘You’re always rushing about,’ she told me. ‘It would be lovely if you could have the whole day here without any interruptions, wouldn’t it?’
‘Do you know,’ I said, pulling my house keys out of my pocket and handing them over, ‘you’re right. It’s been quite a week and it would be nice not to have to leave at lunchtime.’
I knew that Nell was fond of Luke, so there would be no issue about him letting himself in and, if I stayed with my fellow felters, there was less chance that I would spend the time, scrolling through my phone in the hope that I would hear something from Finn. I hadn’t managed to magic him up so far, so I might as well cut back on trying. He’d been gone for the best part of a week now and it was time I started coming to terms with the end of our brief, but wonderful, time together.
It soon became apparent that everyone else’s cheerful little felt birds seemed to be much sturdier than mine and far more tightly packed, but I soldiered on, determined to make the best of it while I mulled over what Mum had said when she and Jackson had turned up the weekend before.
I might have turned down a return to Broad-Meadows, but perhaps I should consider moving on once I was sure the Prosperous Place grounds were back in fine fettle and the Winter Garden was the success Luke had wanted it to be.
Of course, my maudlin meanderings weren’t really about my job. I absolutely adored the place, my home and my many new friends in Nightingale Square, but the thought of living and working in Norwich, without Finn, wasn’t something I wanted to face long-term. I had only managed to carry on that week because he wasn’t actually there and I was under such a tight deadline. Trying to function with him in the vicinity when the pressure was off was going to be impossible. I would wait the winter out and then search for a new position in a different county in the spring.
The thought made tears spring to my eyes and I yelped in pain as the needle missed its mark and ended up embedded in the side of my finger.
‘There,’ said Lisa, shooting Heather a look. ‘You said I was being over the top, Heather, but it does bloody hurt, doesn’t it, Freya?’
‘More than I would have ever thought possible,’ I sadly replied.
At the end of the session we all had a look at each other’s efforts. There were some fine specimens amongst the flock, but unfortunately, mine wasn’t one of them.
‘I know,’ said Heather, reaching into her sewing bag as I tried and failed to make my ornithological effort stand on his feet for the umpteenth time. ‘I’ll sew a loop at the back of his head and then you’ll be able to hang him on your tree.’
She’d hit upon the perfect solution and I wondered if she’d be able to sort out my love life with a flash of her needle and a length of thread. Perhaps she could sew my poor broken heart back together?
‘Your keys, Freya,’ said Luke, handing the bunch back, while I waited for Heather to work her magic.
‘Oh, thanks,’ I said, taking them from him. I’d completely forgotten he still had them. ‘Was Nell all right?’
‘Absolutely fine,’ he smiled. ‘She’s completely recovered, hasn’t she?’
‘Thankfully, yes,’ I said. ‘She’s back to her lovely self.’
I wished I could say the same for me.
I slipped out while everyone else was still pulling on their coats and wishing each other a merry Christmas. I was keen to get away because I would have to be up early the next morning to help prepare for the crowds. The weather was forecast to be crisp and bright which I knew would swell the numbers and Luke had been on the radio again and featured in the local newspaper too, so interest in the grand opening was high.
I walked back through the garden, just to make sure everything was in place. I was tempted to turn on a few of the lights, but couldn’t risk drawing Luke’s attention so made my way carefully along the paths with the torch on my phone just about lighting my way.
‘What the—’ I gasped as I came around a corner and found myself faced with one of Finn’s stunning sculptures.
It was of a much larger dragon than those hidden in the fern garden and we had originally planned to work out where to put it together. How had it got here? And more to the point, when? I rushed back along the path to the studio, thinking he must be back, but he wasn’t. The place was silent and in total darkness and I was still none the wiser as to where he had gone. Luke must have drafted in some help to move and site the sculpture while I was ineffectively felting during the day.
The smell of smoke lingered in the cold night air and I shivered as I crossed the road back to the square with an even heavier heart before stopping to look at my lovely little home. Luke had left the hall light on which lit up the stained-glass panel above the door and the Christmas tree lights were twinkling too, which made the place even more idyllic and welcoming.
I quickly stepped up to the door, before my emotions got the better of me, and turned my key in the lock.
‘I’m back,’ I called out to Nell as I stepped inside and realised that something was amiss.
She barked in response and the broad bulk of Finn suddenly filled the sitting room doorframe.
‘And about time,’ he smiled, making my heart clatter against my ribcage. ‘Come and see what we’ve done.’
Feeling numb, but not from the cold, I followed him into the sitting room, my eyes alighting on the biggest fire burning in the grate. Finn stood one side and Nell the other, both keen to claim a spot next to the heat which I could feel warming the room even though I was barely inside it.
‘Luke and I wanted it to be a surprise,’ Finn told me. ‘That’s why he’s had your keys for so long today. He told me what he was planning when I got back and we moved the sculpture and I said I’d give him a hand.’
I looked from the bright flames to the pretty polished tiles, the brimming wood basket and the various accoutrements required to keep the home fire burning and then back to Finn again.
‘Do you like it?’ he asked, sounding less sure. ‘It is all right, isn’t it?’
I tried to blink them away, but the effort was in vain and two fat, salt-laden tears rolled down my cheeks. They were quickly followed by a deluge.
‘Freya,’ said Finn, rushing across the room and taking my hand before leading me to the sofa. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’
As soon as I was sitting, I let go of his hand. I didn’t want to remember what it felt like in mine if I wasn’t going to be able to hang on to it forever.
‘You left,’ I said, my voice barely audible as I tried to sniff and stem the long-unleashed flow. ‘You disappeared and then you messaged to say that Jackson had told you…’
I couldn’t bring myself to verbalise what it was that my ex-employer had said.
‘Wait,’ Finn swallowed, reaching for my hand again and not letting it go even when I tried to pull away. ‘I don’t understand—’
‘I got your message,’ I said again.
‘But that’s impossible.’
I wrenched my hand free and pulled my phone out of my pocket.
‘Here,’ I said, bringing up the text and shoving the screen under his nose.
He took the phone and read what was displayed.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ he choked, wide-eyed. ‘This is only the beginning of what I typed, and I didn’t even know my crappy phone had sent that!’
He put my phone down and pulled out his ancient relic.
‘It’s dead,’ he said. ‘Finally gave up the ghost when I tried to text you and I haven’t had a chance to buy another. Not that I’d know what to go for.’
I’d teased him plenty about his decrepit phone and his severely lacking tech skills. Why hadn’t I thought about that before? In my panic I’d latched on to the implications of the text I’d received suggested and never entertained the idea that what had landed on my phone wasn’t the whole story.
‘I had no idea the bloody thing had sent anything,’ Finn said again, sounding desperate. ‘I thought it had snuffed it before I pressed send.’
‘So, you haven’t seen any of my messages?’ I huskily asked.
‘No,’ he said. ‘Not one. I spent ages typing out a really long message explaining what happened on Sunday night,’ he carried on. ‘I knew my phone would deliver it in parts, but I thought that would be okay. Or at least I did until it presented me with the black screen of death and no clue that any of it had been sent.’
‘I see.’
‘After that, I decided I might as well wait to tell you in person because you were bound to appreciate the outcome.’
‘Which was?’
‘Basically, that I’d called Jackson a wanker and sent him away with a flea in his ear.’
‘You did what?’
Finn looked at me intently. He was still frowning as it dawned on him that I had been through emotional hell during the last few days.
‘You’ve been thinking that I believed him, haven’t you?’
‘What else was I supposed to think, after that message landed on my phone?’
‘Oh, Freya! Of course, I didn’t believe him! I might not have known you long, my darling, but I know you better than that.’
‘I thought you’d gone because you didn’t want to see me,’ I said, more tears gathering. ‘I thought you believed that I was moving back to Broad-Meadows.’
‘Oh hell, Freya,’ he swallowed. ‘If I’d had even an inkling that something like this had happened, I would have got another phone, or called from a landline, or something. I didn’t even know you were aware that this Jackson idiot had been trying to stir up trouble.’
‘Chloe said she’d heard you arguing and I worked out who with,’ I sniffed. ‘So, where have you been?’
‘Never mind that,’ he said, chucking down his phone. ‘Come here, for pity’s sake.’
I flung myself across the sofa and into his waiting arms.
‘I thought I’d lost you,’ I sobbed.
‘Of course, you hadn’t lost me,’ he said, squeezing me closer. ‘I’m so sorry any of this has happened.’
‘Don’t you apologise,’ I blubbed. ‘It was Jackson’s fault.’
‘I wished I’d laid him out when I had the chance.’
I rather wished he had too.
We stayed locked together, feeling the warmth of the fire and watching the flames lick up the chimney. With every breath I could feel my frozen heart thawing again, but that had nothing to do with the coals glowing in the grate.
Eventually I sat up so I could look at him, but I didn’t move away and I didn’t let go of his hand either.
‘So, where were you then?’ I asked. ‘Where did you disappear to?’
He softly kissed the back of my hand before answering.
‘Wynthorpe Hall,’ he said with a smile. ‘The Connellys have decided they want to push ahead with creating the sculpture trail through their woods and they’ve commissioned me to make a few of the pieces.’
‘Oh Finn!’ I said, throwing myself back into his arms. ‘That’s amazing! Congratulations.’
‘Thank you,’ he smiled. ‘I’m really pleased.’
‘And so you should be. What a perfect end to the year.’
‘It is rather, isn’t it?’ he said, ducking his head. ‘And being back with you again makes it even better. You do know now how much I love you, don’t you, Freya?’
I felt an overwhelming rush of relief and was just about to tell him how much I loved him too, but he kissed me with such passion and conviction that the words were lost. I happily melted into his embrace and my world slipped seductively back into focus.