Aries North Node people have had many past lives of
supporting others, and they have a natural talent for it. In past
incarnations they were housewives, secretaries, counselors, and
assistants. They were the people “behind the scenes” who gave
others energy and support. This made the others bigger and
stronger, because the natives infused all their own identity, power,
and positive energy in supporting them. Aries North Node people
also have had a lot of “householder” lifetimes and are accustomed
to merging their energy with those in their immediate environment.
To support others successfully, they developed tremendous
awareness and sensitivity. Their tools were love, reassurance, gentle
words of encouragement, and confidence that the other person
would emerge victorious in any situation. Their focus was the other
person; whenever they saw their partner lacking confidence or
needing support, they stepped right in to help—these folks never
have to be asked. They are sensitive to others’ needs and go out of
their way to be accommodating. They have developed an incredibly
loving and generous spirit. They are accustomed to giving, to being
“a team player,” and to supporting others without thoughts of self.
Although they were very giving in past lives, they also had an
ulterior motive: They were part of a team, and if their partner did
well, it also ensured their own survival. By keeping the partner’s
mood harmonious, Aries North Nodes ensured that the partner
would be kindly disposed and generous toward them. So they gave
up paying attention to their own needs in order to devote full
attention to the partner—everything centered around keeping the
partner strong and contented.
In past lives this system worked very well, but the present
incarnation is not set up to work this way. In the process of
supporting others, these folks extinguished their own identity. In
this incarnation their destiny is now to get in touch with the strength
and power of their own vibration. This is why every time they rely
on a partner to come through for them without asking directly for
help, they end up feeling disappointed. Actually, this is to their
advantage, because depending on another prevents them from
experiencing their ability to survive under their own power. So now
when they sacrifice their own identity to make another strong, they
lose—the rewards they expect don’t come back. It’s time to
rediscover themselves.
Aries North Node people have spent so many incarnations
supporting the identity of others that in this incarnation they have
no sense of who they are. On an energetic level, they are missing
the insulation of a sense of identity. When a baby is born, there’s a
band in its aura called “identity,” and people in other nodal groups
have this. It acts as a shield against the strong energy fields of
others. Because of it, people can interact intensely without
damaging one another.
For example, if Bill meets Sue on the street he may say: “Hello,
Sue!” and have a tremendous amount of energy behind it. Sue
responds in kind, they interact enthusiastically, and then they walk
away without either having been changed. But if Bill meets an Aries
North Node person and, with the same amount of energy, says:
“Hello, Jim!” Jim is blown over! He feels overwhelmed by all that
energy. Owing to the weakness of the “identity” band in Aries
North Nodes’ aura, these natives are very sensitive to others and are
easily affected by others’ moods and ideas, and they need to
remember to do things to fortify their self-awareness.
These folks even tend to take on the identities of others.
Generally, they pick up accents easily and unconsciously duplicate
other people’s mannerisms, even if they are only around them for a
short time. Harmony is so important to them that they try to be all
things to all people. One byproduct of their receptivity to others is
the tremendous love that is easily sparked within them. Since their
own identity is weak, they readily feel a sense of oneness when they
connect with others.
In this incarnation, Aries North Node people face the challenge
of strengthening their sense of identity. Because they have no
preconceived idea of “self,” they are open to discovering what is
real and natural within themselves. It’s an innocent process. Their
natural impulses validate their identity, and their identity is
strengthened through their actions.
These folks need a lot of time alone to get to know themselves.
They need a specific time each day when they can talk with
themselves. Their first challenge is to find out who they are in their
own right. Then they can learn how to maintain their boundaries
with others. This process happens gradually. Self-discovery can’t be
rushed, but Aries North Node people make progress when they
resolve to pay more attention to themselves.
Aries North Node people have a tremendous amount of love
stored up from past lives. They know about relationships, and they
have received much appreciation and love in return for the help they
have given others. Thus, they came into this incarnation feeling
loved by others. All that love shines through them—and is passed
on to almost everyone they meet.
They have an ability to see not just the rough edges in other
people but the loving qualities too. They perceive who others really
are, and then they celebrate that truth. In that state they feel totally
high, because they are fully appreciating and celebrating the glory,
strength, energy, light, and life in the other person—and it makes
them feel incredibly loving! Their challenge in this life is to begin
to see the same beauty in themselves.
Although these folks are open and loving, if others violate their
space they become angry. Then, when their “not so loving” part
begins to emerge, they feel guilty. Yet this dark side is part of the
human experience. They are discovering themselves and learning to
integrate both sides of their energy. Their loving energy becomes
the backdrop for the personality and mood changes that happen to
all of us. Their challenge is to remain centered in themselves.
Aries North Nodes’ motive of wanting to give is correct, but if
they are trying to give when they feel drained, at best, they are only
creating a superficial harmony. Every time they become too
outwardly focused, appreciating others and not valuing themselves,
the “demons within” emerge to bring them back in touch with
themselves. They don’t want to be with people when their dark side
is showing—it doesn’t reflect the supportive, loving person they
feel they should be—so they tend to feel guilty and go off by
themselves.
Actually, when the dark within them arises, it’s a good sign. It is
the neglected part of themselves demanding attention. When they
turn within and begin consciously loving themselves, noticing their
own beauty and taking care of themselves, the demons melt away.
Thus, Aries North Node people need to regularly take time to focus
on themselves and see what they need to do to support themselves.
Then they will be able to interact with others from a place of
internal strength and harmony.
Having spent many past incarnations being the support system
for others, Aries North Node people developed a constant openness
to others’ identities. They intentionally remained aware of the other
person and could sense the slightest unhappiness or disharmony in
that person’s mood. When they focused on keeping the partner’s
mood happy, they shared in that mood and remained happy
themselves.
Although this worked well in past lives, in this incarnation
another person’s happiness is not enough to evoke true happiness in
these folks. They don’t have enough personal identity left in their
“battery” to hold the “charge” from the other person. To be deeply
happy in this lifetime, they must focus on developing their own
identity and recharging their own battery.
These folks tend to pacify others, saying whatever is necessary to
keep the peace. When they do this, they think they’re being “nice”
and serving others. But it’s only a temporary solution; it postpones a
more permanent resolution that would promote a solid relationship
based on the identity and integrity of both individuals.
Aries North Node people are so sensitive to the atmosphere
surrounding others that they tend to make “maintaining a
harmonious atmosphere” their focus in relationships. They do need
harmony in their lives to feel content and happy, but they get into
trouble when they allow their personal sense of balance to depend
on another person. Then they feel they must manipulate the other
person into staying harmonious with them: “If you’re happy, I’m
happy.” They think that if they balance the other person by filling in
where he or she lacks strength, that person should happily
reciprocate. They can’t understand when others don’t “do their part”
to keep the harmony going, and they often feel as though they’re the
only ones doing their fair share. Maintaining harmony in the
relationship can become a full-time job for them.
But it’s not set up to work that way in this lifetime. In fact, this
habit can enslave both partners: The other person loses autonomy
and becomes dependent on Aries North Node to produce harmony,
and Aries North Node becomes bound to the role of providing the
harmony, regardless of the personal cost. Sadly, because of this,
relationships can become burdensome for these folks.
What does work for them is to pay attention to their relationship
with themselves. What activities promote their own feelings of
inner harmony? If their balance is “off,” what should they give to
themselves in order to regain their inner harmony? These folks want
to be Mr. or Ms. Nice, and nice people don’t upset other people.
This “peace at any price” syndrome may lead to self-negation,
which is a form of dishonesty. Their motive is one of love, but love
without honesty leads to resentment.
Aries North Node people have spent so many incarnations
helping others obtain their desires that they often equate
“supporting others” with “doing what the other person wants.” So
they sacrifice what they need to be happy in order to fill the other
person’s needs. In this incarnation, they are learning to re-evaluate
what “support” actually is. It is not supportive to give more than
one has to give. These natives love the energy of giving to others,
but if they give beyond the point of feeling comfortable, they are
not really supporting the other person. If they continue to call on
their inner reserves of energy, they wear out their “battery” and
nobody wins. These folks must trust themselves. When they feel an
inner resistance to giving, it is a signal to pull back and begin taking
care of themselves.
It does not work for them to be unaware of their separate identity.
When they feed energy into the forcefield of the relationship (rather
than to the other person as a separate entity), they create only
temporary harmony at best. This is because they are feeding energy
into something that’s not really there. A relationship doesn’t “exist”
in physical reality—it’s an energy connection between two people,
and the energy constantly fluctuates as the two people have
different experiences and changing moods.
When the relationship is harmonious, it is the result of both
partners being strong and peaceful within themselves. Aries North
Nodes lose when they try to constantly “prop the other person up”
through manipulating the energy in the relationship. However, when
they encourage independence and individuality in their relationships
—dealing directly with the other person and supporting him or her
in being strong and separate—they win, because the other person
will give back in the same way, supporting Aries North Nodes’
independence and individuality.
Aries North Node people have such a history of being the
“support person” that they are instinctively open to others’ moods.
But in this incarnation, it’s a habit that can be extremely draining.
They may appear to have a boundary between themselves and the
other person, but it’s a very thin line. In actuality, they are merged
with the other person’s energy field in a very co-dependent way.
Sometimes, recognizing that they end up feeling drained, these
folks avoid participation: They seem to be involved but, on an
energy level, remain inside themselves. They are still saying “hello”
and being polite, but they’re really not connected with the energy.
However, when they remain totally outside the dynamics of the
interaction, afterwards they end up on the other extreme and
become overly excited—bouncing off the walls with excess energy.
For these folks, being drained and being overly excited are two
sides of the same coin: not dealing with what’s actually happening
in the moment. They have either given too much of themselves and
feel drained, or given too little and absorbed others’ energy, so that
they feel overcharged. Both reactions are a by-product of not being
present or grounded in their bodies and responding to the situation
moment by moment as a separate person. The balance lies in being
consciously aware of others’ energy without being consumed by it.
Aries North Nodes need to stay connected to their own power and
be in touch with what they can comfortably contribute. The idea is
to share their talents freely, to be of service, and to give from the
heart without trying to be more—or less—than they actually are.
Aries North Node people often try to work within the dynamic of
the merged energy field (theirs and the other person’s)—they plug
into the other’s energy and add whatever ingredient is needed to
keep things harmonious. And they feel good about doing this; it’s an
expression of their love. But another motive may be that they want
to blend their energy with others’ to avoid standing out as an
individual. Then they can participate in the flow of things without
being noticed. They have a fear of being acknowledged, which is in
fact the fear of acknowledging themselves.
Because they are so sensitive and vulnerable, they fear that being
acknowledged could be overwhelming. There would be joy in
having their positive aspects reflected back to them, but they fear
having the negative reflected back as well. They don’t want to face
their “demons” as a result of another’s feedback. Maybe they won’t
be liked. Maybe the other person, in order to protect himself from
dealing with his own demons, will lash out at them. They have a lot
of concerns about the possible repercussions of being themselves,
so they would rather just “go along” and not really be seen as an
individual.
However, concerns about how others will see them are a factor
only when Aries North Node people seek to see themselves through
others’ eyes. In past lives it was a positive thing to see themselves
through their partner’s eyes, as it showed them how to adjust their
behavior to more effectively support the other person. However,
through many lifetimes of overuse, their habit of “fitting in” has
extinguished their own identity. In this incarnation it is not to their
advantage to see themselves through others’ eyes, as this inhibits
their ability to build their own sense of self.
When these folks make up their mind to go in a given direction,
it’s sometimes difficult for them to move in a straight line! Part of
them may question whether or not it’s what they really want, and
then they consider all the other factors that might be involved. It
may take them a long time to decide which direction they want to
take.
The process goes something like this. They make a decision and
tell all their friends about it, and then they have doubts. For
example, they may decide: “I want to write adventure novels.” Then
they start thinking: “You know, I also like other kinds of books.”
They try to embrace one idea and are able to feel that “this is really
right.” But somewhere down the line they say: “No . . . I don’t feel
quite right about it,” and then they are back in indecision!
When Aries North Node people do make a decision, they have no
problem justifying it. They can find ways to make any decision
right or wrong. However, this mechanism can actually deflect them
from a true knowledge of where they stand. For example, when a
decision arises they have an instinctive response, but then they
think: “Well, I want to be fair about this, so I’ll look at it from the
opposite point of view.” This causes them to become confused and
lose sight of what they want.
In this lifetime, Aries North Node people are developing singlemindedness. Rather than weigh everything before making a choice,
they are learning the value of following their initial impulse—just to
see where it goes! It’s fine for them to make a decision based on
their spontaneous sense of inner excitement, and then put the full
force of their intellect into implementing it. It’s an experiment.
Later on, if they lose a feeling of “tightness” about it and something
else excites them, they can responsibly tie up the loose ends and go
on to the next thing. This is a lifetime of new beginnings for them,
so it’s natural that many decisions they make will be subject to
change.
Actually, this incarnation is not set up to be one of decision
making—which usually implies considering two points of view and
then finding a compromise. Rather than be the “referee,” in this
lifetime these natives are supposed to be one of the points of view!
That is why it is in their best interest to form the habit of noticing
their first impulses, which will guide them to correct decisions.
Then the vitality, confidence, and joy will come back into their lives
and it will be a blessing for everyone.
A major obstacle to this single-mindedness for Aries North Node
people is that they can appreciate the beauty in all their choices.
Owing to past incarnations of being deeply involved with others’
lives, they are accustomed to appreciating the beauty in everything
outside of themselves. They aren’t in touch with having “favorites”
of anything. Because they don’t know what their own tastes and
preferences are, they have a tough time picking out one thing and
saying: “This is it!”
What they can do is make time to visualize different things
“inside” themselves and learn to feel what their preferences are. For
example, if asked what their favorite color is, they may waver. But
if they go off by themselves, visualize the colors “inside” them, and
tune in to how they resonate with each one, they will discover their
preference.
When these folks have to make a decision, they often feel what
the right choice is. But sometimes they are forced to decide before
they’ve gotten in touch with that intuitive impulse. Again,
visualization can help. They can take a few minutes and visualize
themselves following one option, to see how they feel about it in
their physical body. Then they can visualize following the other
option, and see how they feel about that. If it’s an important matter
and they don’t have an immediate impulsive response, it’s fine to
take as much time as they need to visualize so they can make the
right choice.
If Aries North Node people allow others to be part of their
decision-making process, they lose touch with themselves and are
dissatisfied no matter how the situation turns out. In past lives their
decisions involved “the team”—they had to consult the other person
so the outcome would work for the partnership. But in this lifetime
they want to develop their own identity, so it’s better to ask
themselves: “How do I feel about this decision?”
When they tell another person their decisions, they become
vulnerable to that person’s approval. And since they’re so sensitive,
if the other person doesn’t agree, then they start thinking: “Maybe I
didn’t make the right decision.” So it is better for them to keep
decisions to themselves, knowing that their decisions will change as
they themselves change and grow.
Because Aries North Node people are influenced by what they
think other people think (especially if it’s someone they respect),
they have a tendency to trust others’ judgment above their own
instincts. But in this lifetime they are learning to take a stand for
their own judgment, which has less to do with “being right” than
with discovering more about themselves!
These folks fear others will judge them harshly if they make a
decision that isn’t based on sound logic. They see others making
decisions based on logic, so if they make an impulsive decision,
they think it is not as valid. However, for them it’s correct to follow
impulse, whereas a member of another nodal group may be better
off following logic. For Aries North Nodes, decisions based on their
first impulse generally work out best—then they can use logic to
find the best way to implement the decisions.
If Aries North Node people are facing a decision and no initial
impulse arises within them, it’s okay not to make a decision. It may
be a sign that it is not the time for them to make a decision, or that
they really don’t have a preference. Then it’s fine to just say: “I
don’t know.”
These natives always feel more comfortable responding to a
situation when another point of view has already been put on the
table. Then they can either agree or disagree with that opinion. It’s
scary for them to offer their opinion first. But it’s their specialty in
this incarnation to offer innovative ideas, seemingly out of
nowhere! Aries North Node people are great at supporting another’s
decision, but in this lifetime they need to impulsively feel where
they want to go, put their idea on the table, and support it 100
percent. In this lifetime, they are the trailblazers!