“I’ll have to start with the stuff you were already there for,” I decided, working to organize the stories in my head before I began.

Jacob raised his hand.

“Go ahead.”

“That’s good,” he said. “I didn’t understand much that was going on at the time.”

“Yeah, well, it gets complicated, so pay attention. You know how Alice sees things?”

I took his scowl — the wolves weren’t thrilled that the legends of vampires possessing supernatural gifts were true — for a yes, and proceeded with the account of my race through Italy to rescue Edward.

I kept it as succinct as possible — leaving out anything that wasn’t essential. I tried to read Jacob’s reactions, but his face was enigmatic as I explained how Alice had seen Edward plan to kill himself when he’d heard that I was dead. Sometimes Jacob seemed so deep in thought, I wasn’t sure if he was listening. He only interrupted one time.

“The fortune-telling bloodsucker can’t see us?” he echoed, his face both fierce and gleeful. “Seriously? That’s excellent!”

I clenched my teeth together, and we sat in silence, his face expectant as he waited for me to continue. I glared at him until he realized his mistake.

“Oops!” he said. “Sorry.” He locked his lips again.

His response was easier to read when I got to the part about the Volturi. His teeth clenched together, goose bumps rose on his arms, and his nostrils flared. I didn’t go into specifics, I just told him that Edward had talked us out of trouble, without revealing the promise we’d had to make, or the visit we were anticipating. Jacob didn’t need to have my nightmares.

“Now you know the whole story,” I concluded. “So it’s your turn to talk. What happened while I was with my mom this weekend?” I knew Jacob would give me more details than Edward had. He wasn’t afraid of scaring me.

Jacob leaned forward, instantly animated. “So Embry and Quil and I were running patrol on Saturday night, just routine stuff, when out of nowhere — bam!” He threw his arms out, impersonating an explosion. “There it is — a fresh trail, not fifteen minutes old. Sam wanted us to wait for him, but I didn’t know you were gone, and I didn’t know if your bloodsuckers were keeping an eye on you or not. So we took off after her at full speed, but she’d crossed the treaty line before we caught up. We spread out along the line, hoping she’d cross back over. It was frustrating, let me tell you.” He wagged his head and his hair — growing out from the short crop he’d adopted when he’d joined the pack — flopped into his eyes. “We ended up too far south. The Cullens chased her back to our side just a few miles north of us. Would have been the perfect ambush if we’d known where to wait.”

He shook his head, grimacing now. “That’s when it got dicey. Sam and the others caught up to her before we did, but she was dancing right along the line, and the whole coven was right there on the other side. The big one, what’s-his-name —”

“Emmett.”

“Yeah, him. He made a lunge for her, but that redhead is fast! He flew right behind her and almost rammed into Paul. So, Paul . . . well, you know Paul.”

“Yeah.”

“Lost his focus. Can’t say that I blame him — the big bloodsucker was right on top of him. He sprang — hey, don’t give me that look. The vampire was on our land.”

I tried to compose my face so that he would go on. My nails were digging into my palms with the stress of the story, even though I knew it had turned out fine.

“Anyway, Paul missed, and the big one got back on his side. But by then the, er, well the, uh, blonde . . .” Jacob’s expression was a comical mix of disgust and unwilling admiration as he tried to come up with a word to describe Edward’s sister.

“Rosalie.”

“Whatever. She got real territorial, so Sam and I fell back to get Paul’s flanks. Then their leader and the other blond male —”

“Carlisle and Jasper.”

He gave me an exasperated look. “You know I don’t really care. Anyway, so Carlisle spoke to Sam, trying to calm things down. Then it was weird, because everyone got really calm really fast. It was that other one you told me about, messing with our heads. But even though we knew what he was doing, we couldn’t not be calm.”

“Yeah, I know how it feels.”

“Really annoying, that’s how it feels. Only you can’t be annoyed until afterwards.” He shook his head angrily. “So Sam and the head vamp agreed that Victoria was the priority, and we started after her again. Carlisle gave us the line, so that we could follow the scent properly, but then she hit the cliffs just north of Makah country, right where the line hugs the coast for a few miles. She took off into the water again. The big one and the calm one wanted permission to cross the line to go after her, but of course we said no.”

“Good. I mean, you were being stupid, but I’m glad. Emmett’s never cautious enough. He could have gotten hurt.”

Jacob snorted. “So did your vampire tell you we attacked for no reason and his totally innocent coven —”

“No,” I interrupted. “Edward told me the same story, just without quite as many details.”

“Huh,” Jacob said under his breath, and he bent over to pick up a rock from among the millions of pebbles at our feet. With a casual flick, he sent it flying a good hundred meters out into the bay. “Well, she’ll be back, I guess. We’ll get another shot at her.”

I shuddered; of course she would be back. Would Edward really tell me next time? I wasn’t sure. I’d have to keep an eye on Alice, to look for the signs that the pattern was about to repeat. . . .

Jacob didn’t seem to notice my reaction. He was staring across the waves with a thoughtful expression on his face, his broad lips pursed.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked after a long, quiet time.

“I’m thinking about what you told me. About when the fortune-teller saw you cliff jumping and thought you’d committed suicide, and how it all got out of control. . . . Do you realize that if you had just waited for me like you were supposed to, then the bl — Alice wouldn’t have been able to see you jump? Nothing would have changed. We’d probably be in my garage right now, like any other Saturday. There wouldn’t be any vampires in Forks, and you and me . . .” He trailed off, deep in thought.

It was disconcerting the way he said this, like it would be a good thing to have no vampires in Forks. My heart thumped unevenly at the emptiness of the picture he painted.

“Edward would have come back anyway.”

“Are you sure about that?” he asked, belligerent again as soon as I spoke Edward’s name.

“Being apart . . . It didn’t work out so well for either of us.”

He started to say something, something angry from his expression, but he stopped himself, took a breath, and began again.

“Did you know Sam is mad at you?”

“Me?” It took me a second. “Oh. I see. He thinks they would have stayed away if I wasn’t here.”

“No. That’s not it.”

“What’s his problem then?”

Jacob leaned down to scoop up another rock. He turned it over and over in his fingers; his eyes were riveted on the black stone while he spoke in a low voice.

“When Sam saw . . . how you were in the beginning, when Billy told them how Charlie worried when you didn’t get better, and then when you started jumping off cliffs . . .”

I made a face. No one was ever going to let me forget that.

Jacob’s eyes flashed up to mine. “He thought you were the one person in the world with as much reason to hate the Cullens as he does. Sam feels sort of . . . betrayed that you would just let them back into your life like they never hurt you.”

I didn’t believe for a second that Sam was the only one who felt that way. And the acid in my voice now was for both of them.

“You can tell Sam to go right to —”

“Look at that,” Jacob interrupted me, pointing to an eagle in the act of plummeting down toward the ocean from an incredible height. It checked itself at the last minute, only its talons breaking the surface of the waves, just for an instant. Then it flapped away, its wings straining against the load of the huge fish it had snagged.

“You see it everywhere,” Jacob said, his voice suddenly distant. “Nature taking its course — hunter and prey, the endless cycle of life and death.”

I didn’t understand the point of the nature lecture; I guessed that he was just trying to change the subject. But then he looked down at me with dark humor in his eyes.

“And yet, you don’t see the fish trying to plant a kiss on the eagle. You never see that.” He grinned a mocking grin.

I grinned back tightly, though the acid taste was still in my mouth. “Maybe the fish was trying,” I suggested. “It’s hard to tell what a fish is thinking. Eagles are good-looking birds, you know.”

“Is that what it comes down to?” His voice was abruptly sharper. “Good looks?”

“Don’t be stupid, Jacob.”

“Is it the money, then?” he persisted.

“That’s nice,” I muttered, getting up from the tree. “I’m flattered that you think so much of me.” I turned my back on him and paced away.

“Aw, don’t get mad.” He was right behind me; he caught my wrist and spun me around. “I’m serious! I’m trying to understand here, and I’m coming up blank.”

His eyebrows pushed together angrily, and his eyes were black in their deep shadow.

“I love him. Not because he’s beautiful or because he’s rich!” I spat the word at Jacob. “I’d much rather he weren’t either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit — because he’d still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I’ve ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand?”

“It’s impossible to understand.”

“Please enlighten me, then, Jacob.” I let the sarcasm flow thick. “What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? Since apparently I’m doing it wrong.”

“I think the best place to start would be to look within your own species. That usually works.”

“Well, that just sucks!” I snapped. “I guess I’m stuck with Mike Newton after all.”

Jacob flinched back and bit his lip. I could see that my words had hurt him, but I was too mad to feel bad about that yet. He dropped my wrist and folded his arms across his chest, turning from me to glare toward the ocean.

“I’m human,” he muttered, his voice almost inaudible.

“You’re not as human as Mike,” I continued ruthlessly. “Do you still think that’s the most important consideration?”

“It’s not the same thing.” Jacob didn’t look away from the gray waves. “I didn’t choose this.”

I laughed once in disbelief. “Do you think Edward did? He didn’t know what was happening to him any more than you did. He didn’t exactly sign up for this.”

Jacob was shaking his head back and forth with a small, quick movement.

“You know, Jacob, you’re awfully self-righteous — considering that you’re a werewolf and all.”

“It’s not the same,” Jacob repeated, glowering at me.

“I don’t see why not. You could be a bit more understanding about the Cullens. You have no idea how truly good they are — to the core, Jacob.”

He frowned more deeply. “They shouldn’t exist. Their existence goes against nature.”

I stared at him for a long moment with one eyebrow raised incredulously. It was a while before he noticed.

“What?”

“Speaking of unnatural . . . ,” I hinted.

“Bella,” he said, his voice slow and different. Aged. I realized that he sounded suddenly older than me — like a parent or a teacher. “What I am was born in me. It’s a part of who I am, who my family is, who we all are as a tribe — it’s the reason why we’re still here.

“Besides that” — he looked down at me, his black eyes unreadable — “I am still human.”

He picked up my hand and pressed it to his fever-warm chest. Through his t-shirt, I could feel the steady beating of his heart under my palm.

“Normal humans can’t throw motorcycles around the way you can.”

He smiled a faint, half-smile. “Normal humans run away from monsters, Bella. And I never claimed to be normal. Just human.”

Staying angry with Jacob was too much work. I started to smile as I pulled my hand away from his chest.

“You look plenty human to me,” I allowed. “At the moment.”

“I feel human.” He stared past me, his face far away. His lower lip trembled, and he bit down on it hard.

“Oh, Jake,” I whispered, reaching for his hand.

This was why I was here. This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because, underneath all the anger and the sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. Right now, it was very clear in his eyes. I didn’t know how to help him, but I knew I had to try. It was more than that I owed him. It was because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now.