I was right on the edge of sleep.
The sun had risen behind the clouds an hour ago—the forest was gray now instead of black. Seth’d curled up and passed out around one, and I’d woken him at dawn to trade off. Even after running all night, I was having a hard time making my brain shut up long enough to fall asleep, but Seth’s rhythmic run was helping. One, two-three, four, one, two-three, four—dum dum-dum dum—dull paw thuds against the damp earth, over and over as he made the wide circuit surrounding the Cullens’ land. We were already wearing a trail into the ground. Seth’s thoughts were empty, just a blur of green and gray as the woods flew past him. It was restful. It helped to fill my head with what he saw rather than letting my own images take center stage.
And then Seth’s piercing howl broke the early morning quiet.
I lurched up from the ground, my front legs pulling toward a sprint before my hind legs were off the ground. I raced toward the place where Seth had frozen, listening with him to the tread of paws running in our direction.
Morning, boys.
A shocked whine broke through Seth’s teeth. And then we both snarled as we read deeper into the new thoughts.
Oh, man! Go away, Leah! Seth groaned.
I stopped when I got to Seth, head thrown back, ready to howl again—this time to complain.
Cut the noise, Seth.
Right. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! He whimpered and pawed at the ground, scratching deep furrows in the dirt.
Leah trotted into view, her small gray body weaving through the underbrush.
Stop whining, Seth. You’re such a baby.
I growled at her, my ears flattening against my skull. She skipped back a step automatically.
What do you think you’re doing, Leah?
She huffed a heavy sigh. It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m joining your crappy little renegade pack. The vampires’ guard dogs. She barked out a low, sarcastic laugh.
No, you’re not. Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings.
Like you could catch me. She grinned and coiled her body for launch. Wanna race, O fearless leader?
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs until my sides bulged. Then, when I was sure I wasn’t going to scream, I exhaled in a gust.
Seth, go let the Cullens know that it’s just your stupid sister—I thought the words as harshly as possible. I’ll deal with this.
On it! Seth was only too happy to leave. He vanished toward the house.
Leah whined, and she leaned after him, the fur on her shoulders rising. You’re just going to let him run off to the vampires alone?
I’m pretty sure he’d rather they took him out than spend another minute with you.
Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I’m sorry—I meant, shut up, most high Alpha.
Why the hell are you here?
You think I’m just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?
Seth doesn’t want or need your protection. In fact, no one wants you here.
Oooh, ouch, that’s gonna leave a huge mark. Ha, she barked. Tell me who does want me around, and I’m outta here.
So this isn’t about Seth at all, is it?
Of course it is. I’m just pointing out that being unwanted is not a first for me. Not really a motivating factor, if you know what I mean.
I gritted my teeth and tried to get my head straight.
Did Sam send you?
If I was here on Sam’s errand, you wouldn’t be able to hear me. My allegiance is no longer with him.
I listened carefully to the thoughts mixed in with the words. If this was a diversion or a ploy, I had to be alert enough to see through it. But there was nothing. Her declaration was nothing but the truth. Unwilling, almost despairing truth.
You’re loyal to me now? I asked with deep sarcasm. Uh-huh. Right.
My choices are limited. I’m working with the options I’ve got. Trust me, I’m not enjoying this any more than you are.
That wasn’t true. There was an edgy kind of excitement in her mind. She was unhappy about this, but she was also riding some weird high. I searched her mind, trying to understand.
She bristled, resenting the intrusion. I usually tried to tune Leah out—I’d never tried to make sense of her before.
We were interrupted by Seth, thinking his explanation at Edward. Leah whined anxiously. Edward’s face, framed in the same window as last night, showed no reaction to the news. It was a blank face, dead.
Wow, he looks bad, Seth muttered to himself. The vampire showed no reaction to that thought, either. He disappeared into the house. Seth pivoted and headed back out to us. Leah relaxed a little.
What’s going on? Leah asked. Catch me up to speed.
There’s no point. You’re not staying.
Actually, Mr. Alpha, I am. Because since apparently I have to belong to someone—and don’t think I haven’t tried breaking off on my own, you know yourself how well that doesn’t work—I choose you.
Leah, you don’t like me. I don’t like you.
Thank you, Captain Obvious. That doesn’t matter to me. I’m staying with Seth.
You don’t like vampires. Don’t you think that’s a little conflict of interest right there?
You don’t like vampires either.
But I am committed to this alliance. You aren’t.
I’ll keep my distance from them. I can run patrols out here, just like Seth.
And I’m supposed to trust you with that?
She stretched her neck, leaning up on her toes, trying to be as tall as me as she stared into my eyes. I will not betray my pack.
I wanted to throw my head back and howl, like Seth had before. This isn’t your pack! This isn’t even a pack. This is just me, going off on my own! What is it with you Clearwaters? Why can’t you leave me alone?
Seth, just coming up behind us now, whined; I’d offended him. Great.
I’ve been helpful, haven’t I, Jake?
You haven’t made too much a nuisance of yourself, kid, but if you and Leah are a package deal—if the only way to get rid of her is for you to go home.… Well, can you blame me for wanting you gone?
Ugh, Leah, you ruin everything!
Yeah, I know, she told him, and the thought was loaded with the heaviness of her despair.
I felt the pain in the three little words, and it was more than I would’ve guessed. I didn’t want to feel that. I didn’t want to feel bad for her. Sure, the pack was rough on her, but she brought it all on herself with the bitterness that tainted her every thought and made being in her head a nightmare.
Seth was feeling guilty, too. Jake… You’re not really gonna send me away, are you? Leah’s not so bad. Really. I mean, with her here, we can push the perimeter out farther. And this puts Sam down to seven. There’s no way he’s going to mount an attack that outnumbered. It’s probably a good thing.…
You know I don’t want to lead a pack, Seth.
So don’t lead us, Leah offered.
I snorted. Sounds perfect to me. Run along home now.
Jake, Seth thought. I belong here. I do like vampires. Cullens, anyway. They’re people to me, and I’m going to protect them, ’cause that’s what we’re supposed to do.
Maybe you belong, kid, but your sister doesn’t. And she’s going to go wherever you are—
I stopped short, because I saw something when I said that. Something Leah had been trying not to think.
Leah wasn’t going anywhere.
Thought this was about Seth, I thought sourly.
She flinched. Of course I’m here for Seth.
And to get away from Sam.
Her jaw clenched. I don’t have to explain myself to you. I just have to do what I’m told. I belong to your pack, Jacob. The end.
I paced away from her, growling.
Crap. I was never going to get rid of her. As much as she disliked me, as much as she loathed the Cullens, as happy as she’d be to go kill all the vampires right now, as much as it pissed her off to have to protect them instead—none of that was anything compared to what she felt being free of Sam.
Leah didn’t like me, so it wasn’t such a chore having me wish she would disappear.
She loved Sam. Still. And having him wish she would disappear was more pain than she was willing to live with, now that she had a choice. She would have taken any other option. Even if it meant moving in with the Cullens as their lapdog.
I don’t know if I’d go that far, she thought. She tried to make the words tough, aggressive, but there were big cracks in her show. I’m sure I’d give killing myself a few good tries first.
Look, Leah…
No, you look, Jacob. Stop arguing with me, because it’s not going to do any good. I’ll stay out of your way, okay? I’ll do anything you want. Except go back to Sam’s pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can’t get away from. If you want me to leave—she sat back on her haunches and stared straight into my eyes—you’re going to have to make me.
I snarled for a long, angry minute. I was beginning to feel some sympathy for Sam, despite what he had done to me, to Seth. No wonder he was always ordering the pack around. How else would you ever get anything done?
Seth, are you gonna get mad at me if I kill your sister?
He pretended to think about it for a minute. Well… yeah, probably.
I sighed.
Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don’t you make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night?
Lots of howling. But you probably heard that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldn’t hear either of you anymore. Sam was… Words failed her, but we could see it in our head. Both Seth and I cringed. After that, it was clear pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders first thing this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasn’t going to mount another attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I’m not sure what they’ll do, but I wouldn’t be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. It’s open season on vamps now.
You decided to skip the meeting this morning? I asked.
When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened—
Crap! You told Mom? Seth growled.
Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec. Go on, Leah.
So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the whole two-separate-packs, two-separate-pack-minds thing gave me a lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seth’s safety and the, er, other benefits against the idea of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect we’ll hear it when Sam finds out.…
Leah cocked an ear to the west.
Yeah, I expect we will, I agreed.
So that’s everything. What do we do now? she asked.
She and Seth both looked at me expectantly.
This was exactly the kind of thing I didn’t want to have to do.
I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That’s all we can do. You should probably take a nap, Leah.
You’ve had as much sleep as I have.
Thought you were going to do what you were told?
Right. That’s going to get old, she grumbled, and then she yawned. Well, whatever. I don’t care.
I’ll run the border, Jake. I’m not tired at all. Seth was so glad I hadn’t forced them home, he was all but prancing with excitement.
Sure, sure. I’m going to go check in with the Cullens.
Seth took off along the new path worn into the damp earth. Leah looked after him thoughtfully.
Maybe a round or two before I crash.… Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?
NO!
Barking out a low chuckle, Leah lunged into the woods after him.
I growled uselessly. So much for peace and quiet.
Leah was trying—for Leah. She kept her jibes to a minimum as she raced around the circuit, but it was impossible not to be aware of her smug mood. I thought of the whole “two’s company” saying. It didn’t really apply, because one was plenty to my mind. But if there had to be three of us, it was hard to think of anyone that I wouldn’t trade her for.
Paul? she suggested.
Maybe, I allowed.
She laughed to herself, too jittery and hyper to get offended. I wondered how long the buzz from dodging Sam’s pity would last.
That will be my goal, then—to be less annoying than Paul.
Yeah, work on that.
I changed into my other form when I was a few yards from the lawn. I hadn’t been planning to spend much time human here. But I hadn’t been planning to have Leah in my head, either. I pulled on my ragged shorts and started across the lawn.
The door opened before I got to the steps, and I was surprised to see Carlisle rather than Edward step outside to meet me—his face looked exhausted and defeated. For a second, my heart froze. I faltered to a stop, unable to speak.
“Are you all right, Jacob?” Carlisle asked.
“Is Bella?” I choked out.
“She’s… much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I’m sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn’t want to leave her. She’s awake.”
And Edward didn’t want to lose any time with her, because he didn’t have much time left. Carlisle didn’t say the words out loud, but he might as well have.
It had been a while since I’d slept—since before my last patrol. I could really feel that now. I took a step forward, sat down on the porch steps, and slumped against the railing.
Moving whisper-quiet as only a vampire could, Carlisle took a seat on the same step, against the other railing.
“I didn’t get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You don’t know how much I appreciate your… compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do. . . .”
“Don’t mention it,” I muttered.
“If you prefer.”
We sat in silence. I could hear the others in the house. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper, speaking in low, serious voices upstairs. Esme humming tunelessly in another room. Rosalie and Edward breathing close by—I couldn’t tell which was which, but I could hear the difference in Bella’s labored panting. I could hear her heart, too. It seemed… uneven.
It was like fate was out to make me do everything I’d ever sworn I wouldn’t in the course of twenty-four hours. Here I was, hanging around, waiting for her to die.