Acknowledgments

On a practical level, I would like to acknowledge my editor throughout the years, Judith Horton, whose work on this book was truly monumental. Thanks also go to my editor at Bantam: Stephanie Kip.

I would like to acknowledge all the teachers, those spiritually based and those astrologically based, who have helped me along the way. Spiritually: Ramana Maharshi, through Gangaji, Nome, and Bob Spiegel. Astrologically: Morningland, Martin Schulman (for his book on the Nodes), and Gina Ceaglio, my first astrology teacher. This work would not have been possible without the research and intuitive gifts of those who have gone before. I especially want to acknowledge the work of Martin Schulman and Zipporah Dobyns on the Nodes.

For his support, encouragement, and insights on this project, my father, Bill Nunn, together with the influence of his teacher, Bob Gibson. My clients and friends for their willingness to add insights and feedback on this and other projects, including but not limited to: Sheri Zucker, Helen Thomas-Williams, Sandy Ingoglia. Thanks to Philip Weiss for his ideas on integrating the music with the book. For his support and backing that gave me the conditions I needed to write this book, I would like to acknowledge my friend, Russell. Thank you.

Finally, I would like to acknowledge the presence of the Guides and Knowledge Banks available to all of us when we listen with an open heart and nonjudgmental mind to deeply understand the inner workings of others.

Jan Spiller

How to Use This Book

WHAT THE NODES ARE

The Nodes of the Moon are not planetary bodies; they are points formed by the Moon’s orbit around the Earth intersecting with the Earth’s path around the Sun. The direction of the nodes is counterclockwise: The North Node is the ascending node (the point closest to our North Pole), and the South Node is the descending node (the point closest to our South Pole). They are always exactly 180 degrees apart. Some astrologers use the “True Node” calculation (which takes into account the actual wobbling of the Moon’s orbit), and some astrologers use the “Mean Node” (which does not take the wobbling into account). I use the True Nodes. The True Node and Mean Node positions are never more than 1 degree 45 minutes apart from each other.

THE NODAL AXIS

All the planets have a North and South Node. The Nodes covered in this book are the North and South Nodes of the Moon, also known as the “Nodal Axis” of the chart. The information in the chapters is actually a description of the Northern/Southern Nodal Axis, although for the sake of simplicity, I have simply called it the “North Node” position. The South Node position in the chart (located at the point exactly opposite of the North Node) depicts an aspect in our character that has been overemphasized in past lives, and thus tends to take over the personality in this lifetime and throw us off balance. When we are acting without awareness, we tend to “act out” the South Node position in response to our environment because we have been accustomed to that approach working to our advantage. However, in this lifetime, our experiences show us that approaching a situation from the stance shown by the position of the Southern Node in our chart is no longer working. Although the main emphasis in this book is on the North Node, the information in these chapters is actually an integration of both “ends” of the Nodal Axis.

When astrologers refer to “the Nodes,” they are generally referring to the North and South Nodes of the Moon. In astrology, the Moon rules our feelings, our moods, dependency, insecurity, the feeling of belonging—it rules our emotional bodies. The Moon rules our self-image, that is, the way we instinctively see ourselves regardless of what we are expressing in the world. I consider the Moon to be the most important planet in the chart, from a karmic/past life perspective. It underlies the rest of the personality structure. In my first astrology book, writing the chapter on the Moon took more time than the other nine chapters combined. I found the depth of the signs of the Moon to be endless—my research kept going deeper and deeper—until one day I just had to close the lid and say “That’s it!” In following the path of the Nodes of the Moon, and thus rebalancing our emotional bodies, we are going a long way toward easing internal stress and reclaiming confidence in our individual beings.

SIGNS AND HOUSES

For each of us, the North Node is located in a sign and in a house. The sign position can be obtained by consulting the table in the front of this book, and the chapter relating to your sign position will provide information and direction designed specifically to help you realize your full potential. For the most complete view, I recommend also consulting the chapter relating to your house position, which can be obtained from a local astrologer or a computerized birth chart.

The sign in which the North Node falls denotes the psychological shift that needs to occur within the personality. The house containing the North Node shows the experiences that allow the person to access this new psychological awareness.

In my experience, the house is at least of equal importance to the sign. The house position indicates the arena in which the life lessons of the North Node are learned. For example, if your North Node is in Cancer in the 11th House, you are learning to get in touch with and communicate your feelings (Cancer) through cultivating the energy of friendships and learning to “go with the flow” (11th House); if your North Node is in Aries in the 4th House, through getting in touch with your gut instincts (4th House) you can discover and communicate who you are (Aries).

DUPLICATE SIGN/HOUSE POSITIONS

If the sign of your North Node is in the same sign as the house containing your North Node (for example, North Node in Gemini located in the 3rd House, which is also Gemini; or North Node in Pisces in the 12th House, which is also Pisces), it simply means double the intensity of the same life lesson.

OPPOSING SIGN/HOUSE POSITIONS

(This includes North Node in Aries in the 7th House; North Node in Taurus in the 8th House; North Node in Gemini in the 9th House; North Node in Cancer in the 10th House; North Node in Leo in the 11th House; North Node in Virgo in the 12th House; North Node in Libra in the 1st House; North Node in Scorpio in the 2nd House; North Node in Sagittarius in the 3rd House; North Node in Capricorn in the 4th House; North Node in Aquarius in the 5th House; North Node in Pisces in the 6th House.)

If your North Node is in a house opposing the sign of your North Node (as noted above), it will be necessary for you to carefully and continuously check with yourself to find the right blending of behavior. Remember that generally, the house indicates where to learn the lessons of the sign. The house is like a shell—the environment you need to support the content of the sign.

For example, if your North Node is in Aries in the 7th House, you are learning to develop a new sense of self-identity (North Node in Aries) through becoming aware of the identity of others (North Node in the 7th House). Through working cooperatively with other people and supporting them in reaching their goals, you will discover your own true identity. However, when you turn that around and focus on yourself, you lose your identity in trying to please others and be the nice person they expect you to be. In this case, the key to self-identity would actually lie in helping others in their search for identity.

OVERVIEW

Each chapter in this book begins with an overview. The purpose of the overview is to offer a quick reference point and a way of remembering a practical formula for achieving your life purpose. In a stressful situation, which is when you have the opportunity to implement a new choice in behavior that can lighten your karmic load, it’s useful to have a simplified way of remembering “how to win/how to lose” to hold on to and practice.

In working with the material presented in the overview, I recommend that you take one or two points that seem the most relevant to you, and then consciously practice to purify those qualities in yourself. Little by little, as you practice, the self-defeating tendency will dissipate and joy will begin to take over. Then, when you are ready, choose something else to let go of or consciously practice developing. It’s a process; although it takes effort and may seem like a tremendous personal risk, once you move forward you will never be pulled back into the fears and limitations of the past.

Some qualities take more time than others to purify or to let go of. Even if you are working to release a tendency that you worked on a week ago or a year ago, you will be working on it at a higher level and it won’t be nearly as painful or difficult. In this way, growth is more like a spiral than a circle. As you progress, you will find life a lot less threatening and the things you desire manifesting more easily and naturally. A magic begins to flow as you find yourself emerging fearless, light, and free . . . as the invisible chains from past incarnations begin to dissipate and fall away.

Each chapter’s overview gives a quick reference to Attributes to Develop, Tendencies to Leave Behind, Achilles’ Heel/Trap to Avoid/The Bottom Line, What These People Really Want, Talents/Profession, and Healing Affirmations.

ATTRIBUTES TO DEVELOP

These are gifts—talents—that are at your disposal in this lifetime. Just as you spent so much time and energy developing one aspect of your character in past lives, there was another part of you—the polar opposite—that was totally neglected. Thus, when you came into this incarnation, you were out of balance. (We all were, but the imbalance was different for each of us.) Life wants you to be happy. But as long as the imbalance exists, every happiness is going to be followed by an unhappiness. So you must consciously develop the part of you that was neglected in past lives by experimenting with, and building on, the talents and gifts described in this section. It’s like a muscle that hasn’t been used. Once you start exercising it, pretty soon it’s built up and balanced with the rest of you. Developing the tendencies in this category will enable you to win—every time!

TENDENCIES TO LEAVE BEHIND

These are tendencies that you, and members of your group, were born with. In past lives these behaviors served you well; when you acted from these motivations, you won. So you came into this incarnation with a subconscious memory of success, and you keep pursuing the same behaviors that enabled you to thrive in your past lives. However, in this incarnation these same patterns do not work (that is, they don’t produce success, confidence, and ease). If you look back over this lifetime, you can see that these behavior patterns have never worked for you, although you keep enacting them over and over again.

These qualities in and of themselves are not negative, but they describe part of your character that was overdeveloped in past lives. Lifetime after lifetime you kept strengthening this one part of yourself from every possible direction until it grew out of proportion. So in this incarnation, it is set up in your astrology chart for these old patterns not to work. Basically, following the tendencies in this section will cause you to lose—every time!

ACHILLES’ HEEL/TRAP TO AVOID/THE BOTTOM LINE

This is a description of the trap that you and the members of your group most easily fall into—the temptation that is so attractive that it’s easy to falter and go back into negative past life tendencies. It’s a part of you that is magnified in this incarnation—an appetite so exaggerated that it’s like a bottomless pit that can never be satisfied. This is the “red flag” category; when you find yourself driven by these motives, your best bet is to walk away, because you’re going to lose.

WHAT THESE PEOPLE REALLY WANT

This category represents an integration of past life motivations and present life gifts. It means having the experiences we were born wanting—manifesting the desires in our hearts—through using the new tools that we were; given in this lifetime to balance the personality.

In the beginning, it can be useful to exaggerate: totally negate (in our own mind) the past life tendencies, and concentrate fully on the present life qualities to be developed. It’s the pendulum principle: Swinging too far in the opposite direction can help us come back to the middle. Ultimately, it is through combining past life strengths and present life gifts that we gain true fulfillment. But the past life paradigms are strong, and initially the individual may have to “blow them up” or walk away from them altogether just to get the energy moving in the right direction.

TALENTS/PROFESSION

This is a description of talents, bequeathed by the nodal positions, that could easily be turned into professional success in this lifetime. For a total picture of the profession or vocation, I recommend that the full astrology chart be consulted.

HEALING AFFIRMATIONS

These sample affirmations are designed to defuse the obstructive energy of past life tendencies and release you into the vibrant freedom that is available in the current incarnation. The best way to use this section is to choose one affirmation that feels particularly strengthening for the qualities you want to develop. Then, throughout the day, experiment with saying that one affirmation to yourself in different situations until the quality within that you want to strengthen is reinforced and energized.

When that particular affirmation is no longer potent for you (which may be a matter of a month or several months), then choose another and experiment with that for a while. The affirmations are best used by choosing only one during any specific period, depending on what you resonate with at that point in your development.

PERSONALITY

In each chapter, this section deals with the idiosyncrasies of each group and how they differ from other groups (their special mannerisms, concerns, unique feelings, etc.). In our own experience, it feels as though we are working with this karma only on the personal, individual level. However, as we clear out the negative energy in our own lives, members of our nodal group (all those who have the North Node in the same sign) are also purified and advanced. The energy of our entire group will support us internally in learning and growing. We aren’t in this alone.

NEEDS

Those factors discussed under the Needs category, specific to each group, are valid desires. We do not have to change our essential selves or invalidate our needs. However, for success, it is sometimes necessary for us to alter our approach—the way we go about getting our needs met. This section describes our basic needs for security, what they feel like internally, and the best ways to fulfill them without getting “off track.”

RELATIONSHIPS

This section examines how those in our group view relationships, their patterns of relating, and the special tendencies, obstacles, and resolutions that emerge when they are in a relationship (especially a close relationship, such as marriage or partnership).

GOALS

This section deals with the group’s orientation toward goals—their strengths and weaknesses in obtaining what they seek. The information can assist group members in seeing their “blocks,” thus empowering them to overcome their inner obstacles and achieve their external goals.

HEALING THEME SONG

Music has a special way of making magic in our lives, as it has access to a part of our brain that isn’t touched by the written word. The people in each nodal position face a different set of challenges, so I have written lyrics for “theme” songs uniquely suited to reaching and healing the underlying misunderstandings in each group. These songs are designed to shift the energy, in a positive way that can come most effortlessly through music. To begin the healing process, partial lyrics from each of the songs follow each chapter. The full lyrics for all twelve songs have been set to music and are available on both CD and cassette tape (for more information). Although the message of each song targets those in a specific nodal group, all of the songs are universally uplifting and have a healing effect on the listener—regardless of their nodal position.

SOME DEFINITIONS OF TERMS

Past lives: Previous lives lived in other bodies, prior to the incarnation in your present body.

Present life: This lifetime, as lived in the body you were born into in this incarnation.

Early environment: The patterns of behavior stimulated and enacted in childhood that you used to survive and cope in your childhood environment. These patterns duplicate past life tendencies; in fact, it is the unconscious, past life patterns that are activated during childhood. Clearly, the environment didn’t create these patterns or cause us to be this way, or they couldn’t be predicted by the natal birth chart. We were born with these patterns ready to be activated.

Achilles’ heel: The weakest, most vulnerable point in the personality structure.

Karma: Cause and effect; the results we experience from actions we have taken.

Native: A traditional astrological term referring to the group of people ruled by the sign being discussed.

The Guides: Each of us is surrounded by our own invisible helpers who assist us in successfully navigating life’s pathways. These positive helpers could be called “Guides,” “Guardian Angels,” or simply the voice of “intuition.”

She/He: At times I’ve used “she” or “he” to refer to a single person, but this is not meant to be exclusive to one gender or the other.

OVERVIEW

Attributes to DevelopWork in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents

IndependenceSelf-awarenessTrusting one’s impulsesCourageConstructive self-interestModeration in givingSelf-nurturance

Tendencies to Leave Behind

Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies canhelp make life easier and more enjoyable

Seeing oneself through others’ eyesDebilitating selflessnessBeing Mr. or Ms. NiceObsessive attachment to fairness and justiceCo-dependence: attachment to external harmony“Tit for tat” mentality

“When I trust myself and follow my impulses,everyone wins.”“Before I can support others, I have to learn howto nurture myself.”“I can help others best by truly being myself.”“It’s okay not to be nice all the time.”“A sense of balance and strength comes frombeing fair with myself.”

PERSONALITY

PAST LIVES

Aries North Node people have had many past lives of
supporting others, and they have a natural talent for it. In past
incarnations they were housewives, secretaries, counselors, and
assistants. They were the people “behind the scenes” who gave
others energy and support. This made the others bigger and
stronger, because the natives infused all their own identity, power,
and positive energy in supporting them. Aries North Node people
also have had a lot of “householder” lifetimes and are accustomed
to merging their energy with those in their immediate environment.
To support others successfully, they developed tremendous
awareness and sensitivity. Their tools were love, reassurance, gentle
words of encouragement, and confidence that the other person
would emerge victorious in any situation. Their focus was the other
person; whenever they saw their partner lacking confidence or
needing support, they stepped right in to help—these folks never
have to be asked. They are sensitive to others’ needs and go out of
their way to be accommodating. They have developed an incredibly
loving and generous spirit. They are accustomed to giving, to being
“a team player,” and to supporting others without thoughts of self.
Although they were very giving in past lives, they also had an
ulterior motive: They were part of a team, and if their partner did
well, it also ensured their own survival. By keeping the partner’s
mood harmonious, Aries North Nodes ensured that the partner
would be kindly disposed and generous toward them. So they gave
up paying attention to their own needs in order to devote full
attention to the partner—everything centered around keeping the
partner strong and contented.
In past lives this system worked very well, but the present
incarnation is not set up to work this way. In the process of
supporting others, these folks extinguished their own identity. In
this incarnation their destiny is now to get in touch with the strength
and power of their own vibration. This is why every time they rely
on a partner to come through for them without asking directly for
help, they end up feeling disappointed. Actually, this is to their
advantage, because depending on another prevents them from
experiencing their ability to survive under their own power. So now
when they sacrifice their own identity to make another strong, they
lose—the rewards they expect don’t come back. It’s time to
rediscover themselves.

LACK OF IDENTITY

Aries North Node people have spent so many incarnations
supporting the identity of others that in this incarnation they have
no sense of who they are. On an energetic level, they are missing
the insulation of a sense of identity. When a baby is born, there’s a
band in its aura called “identity,” and people in other nodal groups
have this. It acts as a shield against the strong energy fields of
others. Because of it, people can interact intensely without
damaging one another.
For example, if Bill meets Sue on the street he may say: “Hello,
Sue!” and have a tremendous amount of energy behind it. Sue
responds in kind, they interact enthusiastically, and then they walk
away without either having been changed. But if Bill meets an Aries
North Node person and, with the same amount of energy, says:
“Hello, Jim!” Jim is blown over! He feels overwhelmed by all that
energy. Owing to the weakness of the “identity” band in Aries
North Nodes’ aura, these natives are very sensitive to others and are
easily affected by others’ moods and ideas, and they need to
remember to do things to fortify their self-awareness.
These folks even tend to take on the identities of others.
Generally, they pick up accents easily and unconsciously duplicate
other people’s mannerisms, even if they are only around them for a
short time. Harmony is so important to them that they try to be all
things to all people. One byproduct of their receptivity to others is
the tremendous love that is easily sparked within them. Since their
own identity is weak, they readily feel a sense of oneness when they
connect with others.
In this incarnation, Aries North Node people face the challenge
of strengthening their sense of identity. Because they have no
preconceived idea of “self,” they are open to discovering what is
real and natural within themselves. It’s an innocent process. Their
natural impulses validate their identity, and their identity is
strengthened through their actions.
These folks need a lot of time alone to get to know themselves.
They need a specific time each day when they can talk with
themselves. Their first challenge is to find out who they are in their
own right. Then they can learn how to maintain their boundaries
with others. This process happens gradually. Self-discovery can’t be
rushed, but Aries North Node people make progress when they
resolve to pay more attention to themselves.

A LOVING SPIRIT

Aries North Node people have a tremendous amount of love
stored up from past lives. They know about relationships, and they
have received much appreciation and love in return for the help they
have given others. Thus, they came into this incarnation feeling
loved by others. All that love shines through them—and is passed
on to almost everyone they meet.
They have an ability to see not just the rough edges in other
people but the loving qualities too. They perceive who others really
are, and then they celebrate that truth. In that state they feel totally
high, because they are fully appreciating and celebrating the glory,
strength, energy, light, and life in the other person—and it makes
them feel incredibly loving! Their challenge in this life is to begin
to see the same beauty in themselves.
Although these folks are open and loving, if others violate their
space they become angry. Then, when their “not so loving” part
begins to emerge, they feel guilty. Yet this dark side is part of the
human experience. They are discovering themselves and learning to
integrate both sides of their energy. Their loving energy becomes
the backdrop for the personality and mood changes that happen to
all of us. Their challenge is to remain centered in themselves.
Aries North Nodes’ motive of wanting to give is correct, but if
they are trying to give when they feel drained, at best, they are only
creating a superficial harmony. Every time they become too
outwardly focused, appreciating others and not valuing themselves,
the “demons within” emerge to bring them back in touch with
themselves. They don’t want to be with people when their dark side
is showing—it doesn’t reflect the supportive, loving person they
feel they should be—so they tend to feel guilty and go off by
themselves.
Actually, when the dark within them arises, it’s a good sign. It is
the neglected part of themselves demanding attention. When they
turn within and begin consciously loving themselves, noticing their
own beauty and taking care of themselves, the demons melt away.
Thus, Aries North Node people need to regularly take time to focus
on themselves and see what they need to do to support themselves.
Then they will be able to interact with others from a place of
internal strength and harmony.

HYPERSENSITIVITY
HARMONY VERSUS SELF-SACRIFICE

Having spent many past incarnations being the support system
for others, Aries North Node people developed a constant openness
to others’ identities. They intentionally remained aware of the other
person and could sense the slightest unhappiness or disharmony in
that person’s mood. When they focused on keeping the partner’s
mood happy, they shared in that mood and remained happy
themselves.
Although this worked well in past lives, in this incarnation
another person’s happiness is not enough to evoke true happiness in
these folks. They don’t have enough personal identity left in their
“battery” to hold the “charge” from the other person. To be deeply
happy in this lifetime, they must focus on developing their own
identity and recharging their own battery.
These folks tend to pacify others, saying whatever is necessary to
keep the peace. When they do this, they think they’re being “nice”
and serving others. But it’s only a temporary solution; it postpones a
more permanent resolution that would promote a solid relationship
based on the identity and integrity of both individuals.
Aries North Node people are so sensitive to the atmosphere
surrounding others that they tend to make “maintaining a
harmonious atmosphere” their focus in relationships. They do need
harmony in their lives to feel content and happy, but they get into
trouble when they allow their personal sense of balance to depend
on another person. Then they feel they must manipulate the other
person into staying harmonious with them: “If you’re happy, I’m
happy.” They think that if they balance the other person by filling in
where he or she lacks strength, that person should happily
reciprocate. They can’t understand when others don’t “do their part”
to keep the harmony going, and they often feel as though they’re the
only ones doing their fair share. Maintaining harmony in the
relationship can become a full-time job for them.
But it’s not set up to work that way in this lifetime. In fact, this
habit can enslave both partners: The other person loses autonomy
and becomes dependent on Aries North Node to produce harmony,
and Aries North Node becomes bound to the role of providing the
harmony, regardless of the personal cost. Sadly, because of this,
relationships can become burdensome for these folks.
What does work for them is to pay attention to their relationship
with themselves. What activities promote their own feelings of
inner harmony? If their balance is “off,” what should they give to
themselves in order to regain their inner harmony? These folks want
to be Mr. or Ms. Nice, and nice people don’t upset other people.
This “peace at any price” syndrome may lead to self-negation,
which is a form of dishonesty. Their motive is one of love, but love
without honesty leads to resentment.
Aries North Node people have spent so many incarnations
helping others obtain their desires that they often equate
“supporting others” with “doing what the other person wants.” So
they sacrifice what they need to be happy in order to fill the other
person’s needs. In this incarnation, they are learning to re-evaluate
what “support” actually is. It is not supportive to give more than
one has to give. These natives love the energy of giving to others,
but if they give beyond the point of feeling comfortable, they are
not really supporting the other person. If they continue to call on
their inner reserves of energy, they wear out their “battery” and
nobody wins. These folks must trust themselves. When they feel an
inner resistance to giving, it is a signal to pull back and begin taking
care of themselves.
It does not work for them to be unaware of their separate identity.
When they feed energy into the forcefield of the relationship (rather
than to the other person as a separate entity), they create only
temporary harmony at best. This is because they are feeding energy
into something that’s not really there. A relationship doesn’t “exist”
in physical reality—it’s an energy connection between two people,
and the energy constantly fluctuates as the two people have
different experiences and changing moods.
When the relationship is harmonious, it is the result of both
partners being strong and peaceful within themselves. Aries North
Nodes lose when they try to constantly “prop the other person up”
through manipulating the energy in the relationship. However, when
they encourage independence and individuality in their relationships
—dealing directly with the other person and supporting him or her
in being strong and separate—they win, because the other person
will give back in the same way, supporting Aries North Nodes’
independence and individuality.

PARTICIPATING VERSUS HIDING

Aries North Node people have such a history of being the
“support person” that they are instinctively open to others’ moods.
But in this incarnation, it’s a habit that can be extremely draining.
They may appear to have a boundary between themselves and the
other person, but it’s a very thin line. In actuality, they are merged
with the other person’s energy field in a very co-dependent way.
Sometimes, recognizing that they end up feeling drained, these
folks avoid participation: They seem to be involved but, on an
energy level, remain inside themselves. They are still saying “hello”
and being polite, but they’re really not connected with the energy.
However, when they remain totally outside the dynamics of the
interaction, afterwards they end up on the other extreme and
become overly excited—bouncing off the walls with excess energy.
For these folks, being drained and being overly excited are two
sides of the same coin: not dealing with what’s actually happening
in the moment. They have either given too much of themselves and
feel drained, or given too little and absorbed others’ energy, so that
they feel overcharged. Both reactions are a by-product of not being
present or grounded in their bodies and responding to the situation
moment by moment as a separate person. The balance lies in being
consciously aware of others’ energy without being consumed by it.
Aries North Nodes need to stay connected to their own power and
be in touch with what they can comfortably contribute. The idea is
to share their talents freely, to be of service, and to give from the
heart without trying to be more—or less—than they actually are.
Aries North Node people often try to work within the dynamic of
the merged energy field (theirs and the other person’s)—they plug
into the other’s energy and add whatever ingredient is needed to
keep things harmonious. And they feel good about doing this; it’s an
expression of their love. But another motive may be that they want
to blend their energy with others’ to avoid standing out as an
individual. Then they can participate in the flow of things without
being noticed. They have a fear of being acknowledged, which is in
fact the fear of acknowledging themselves.
Because they are so sensitive and vulnerable, they fear that being
acknowledged could be overwhelming. There would be joy in
having their positive aspects reflected back to them, but they fear
having the negative reflected back as well. They don’t want to face
their “demons” as a result of another’s feedback. Maybe they won’t
be liked. Maybe the other person, in order to protect himself from
dealing with his own demons, will lash out at them. They have a lot
of concerns about the possible repercussions of being themselves,
so they would rather just “go along” and not really be seen as an
individual.
However, concerns about how others will see them are a factor
only when Aries North Node people seek to see themselves through
others’ eyes. In past lives it was a positive thing to see themselves
through their partner’s eyes, as it showed them how to adjust their
behavior to more effectively support the other person. However,
through many lifetimes of overuse, their habit of “fitting in” has
extinguished their own identity. In this incarnation it is not to their
advantage to see themselves through others’ eyes, as this inhibits
their ability to build their own sense of self.

INDECISION
VACILLATION

When these folks make up their mind to go in a given direction,
it’s sometimes difficult for them to move in a straight line! Part of
them may question whether or not it’s what they really want, and
then they consider all the other factors that might be involved. It
may take them a long time to decide which direction they want to
take.
The process goes something like this. They make a decision and
tell all their friends about it, and then they have doubts. For
example, they may decide: “I want to write adventure novels.” Then
they start thinking: “You know, I also like other kinds of books.”
They try to embrace one idea and are able to feel that “this is really
right.” But somewhere down the line they say: “No . . . I don’t feel
quite right about it,” and then they are back in indecision!
When Aries North Node people do make a decision, they have no
problem justifying it. They can find ways to make any decision
right or wrong. However, this mechanism can actually deflect them
from a true knowledge of where they stand. For example, when a
decision arises they have an instinctive response, but then they
think: “Well, I want to be fair about this, so I’ll look at it from the
opposite point of view.” This causes them to become confused and
lose sight of what they want.
In this lifetime, Aries North Node people are developing singlemindedness. Rather than weigh everything before making a choice,
they are learning the value of following their initial impulse—just to
see where it goes! It’s fine for them to make a decision based on
their spontaneous sense of inner excitement, and then put the full
force of their intellect into implementing it. It’s an experiment.
Later on, if they lose a feeling of “tightness” about it and something
else excites them, they can responsibly tie up the loose ends and go
on to the next thing. This is a lifetime of new beginnings for them,
so it’s natural that many decisions they make will be subject to
change.
Actually, this incarnation is not set up to be one of decision
making—which usually implies considering two points of view and
then finding a compromise. Rather than be the “referee,” in this
lifetime these natives are supposed to be one of the points of view!
That is why it is in their best interest to form the habit of noticing
their first impulses, which will guide them to correct decisions.
Then the vitality, confidence, and joy will come back into their lives
and it will be a blessing for everyone.
A major obstacle to this single-mindedness for Aries North Node
people is that they can appreciate the beauty in all their choices.
Owing to past incarnations of being deeply involved with others’
lives, they are accustomed to appreciating the beauty in everything
outside of themselves. They aren’t in touch with having “favorites”
of anything. Because they don’t know what their own tastes and
preferences are, they have a tough time picking out one thing and
saying: “This is it!”
What they can do is make time to visualize different things
“inside” themselves and learn to feel what their preferences are. For
example, if asked what their favorite color is, they may waver. But
if they go off by themselves, visualize the colors “inside” them, and
tune in to how they resonate with each one, they will discover their
preference.
When these folks have to make a decision, they often feel what
the right choice is. But sometimes they are forced to decide before
they’ve gotten in touch with that intuitive impulse. Again,
visualization can help. They can take a few minutes and visualize
themselves following one option, to see how they feel about it in
their physical body. Then they can visualize following the other
option, and see how they feel about that. If it’s an important matter
and they don’t have an immediate impulsive response, it’s fine to
take as much time as they need to visualize so they can make the
right choice.

RISKING OTHERS’ JUDGMENT

If Aries North Node people allow others to be part of their
decision-making process, they lose touch with themselves and are
dissatisfied no matter how the situation turns out. In past lives their
decisions involved “the team”—they had to consult the other person
so the outcome would work for the partnership. But in this lifetime
they want to develop their own identity, so it’s better to ask
themselves: “How do I feel about this decision?”
When they tell another person their decisions, they become
vulnerable to that person’s approval. And since they’re so sensitive,
if the other person doesn’t agree, then they start thinking: “Maybe I
didn’t make the right decision.” So it is better for them to keep
decisions to themselves, knowing that their decisions will change as
they themselves change and grow.
Because Aries North Node people are influenced by what they
think other people think (especially if it’s someone they respect),
they have a tendency to trust others’ judgment above their own
instincts. But in this lifetime they are learning to take a stand for
their own judgment, which has less to do with “being right” than
with discovering more about themselves!
These folks fear others will judge them harshly if they make a
decision that isn’t based on sound logic. They see others making
decisions based on logic, so if they make an impulsive decision,
they think it is not as valid. However, for them it’s correct to follow
impulse, whereas a member of another nodal group may be better
off following logic. For Aries North Nodes, decisions based on their
first impulse generally work out best—then they can use logic to
find the best way to implement the decisions.
If Aries North Node people are facing a decision and no initial
impulse arises within them, it’s okay not to make a decision. It may
be a sign that it is not the time for them to make a decision, or that
they really don’t have a preference. Then it’s fine to just say: “I
don’t know.”
These natives always feel more comfortable responding to a
situation when another point of view has already been put on the
table. Then they can either agree or disagree with that opinion. It’s
scary for them to offer their opinion first. But it’s their specialty in
this incarnation to offer innovative ideas, seemingly out of
nowhere! Aries North Node people are great at supporting another’s
decision, but in this lifetime they need to impulsively feel where
they want to go, put their idea on the table, and support it 100
percent. In this lifetime, they are the trailblazers!

NEEDS

A SENSE OF IDENTITY

Owing to so many incarnations in which they sacrificed their
own identity for the sake of supporting others, Aries North Node
people enter this lifetime without an inborn sense of identity.
Rediscovering and re-establishing a true sense of self is now a
primary need. Especially in the early years, their entire sense of self
is based on how others see them. They may go along with others’
definition of who they are, or resist it completely. Regardless, it is
not their identity—it’s a reaction to others’ construct of who they
are. To begin the path to self-discovery, they need to ask
themselves: “Who am I . . . apart from others’ projections?” They
will find an answer only by looking inside themselves.
SELF-AWARENESS
To answer their need for self-awareness, it would be helpful for
these folks to begin “checking in” with themselves on a regular
basis. When they’re not in touch with themselves, they often end up
acting in extremes. With others, they feel they have to be a
lightbearer—loving, supportive, and self-sacrificing all the time.
This represses the part of themselves that cannot possibly be that
way all the time, which creates an intense polarity.
They’re trying to always be loving and supportive because that’s
the role they played in past lives, but the extremity of this positive
role will also evoke the depths of darkness. If they take a closer
look at the darkness, they’ll see that it’s really just their more
assertive side, which they haven’t allowed themselves to express.
It’s part of their yang nature—their masculine side. It’s polarized
because it has been suppressed over so many past lives that it’s not
integrated with the rest of the personality. So it may come out in a
very intense way, which causes Aries North Nodes to become
embarrassed and think: “Where did that come from?”
The best resolution is to stay congruent with themselves: Stay
inside their own energy field and stay in touch with what’s going on
within them. Then, when they are upset, just spontaneously
communicate: “Gosh, for some reason I feel upset about this.” Their
job is to simply be themselves. When they first experiment with
this, they may feel uncomfortable; but they need to trust that since
their underlying motive is love, whatever comes out is going to be
fundamentally correct.
Aries North Node people are learning to take charge, do what
they need to do for themselves, and become self-sufficient by
following their desires. When they feel an impulse to do something
that they know would bring them a sense of satisfaction, they need
to follow through with it. Owing to the self-purification
accomplished in past lives, they can trust that their impulses are not
harmful to others and, in fact, signal the direction in which they
need to go. In every area of life, the idea is to operate freely on their
first impulse of what action would be best in any situation. Any
resistance from the ego should be disregarded. In this way, they
maintain a balance with others that is based on authenticity and
taking responsibility for themselves.
Since these folks are not innately aware of the value of selfsufficiency, they don’t realize how much others value it. They may
evoke a negative response when they start supporting someone who
hasn’t asked for their help. They enter the other person’s force field
and find out what he or she is feeling and thinking. It’s fine for them
to be aware of others’ needs, but they are learning that others have
boundaries and that they themselves have boundaries as well. As
they learn to respect others’ self-sufficiency, they begin to value
self-sufficiency for themselves.
Aries North Node people tend to be reactionary when they see
other people taking care of themselves. They become judgmental
and think that others are self-involved, uncaring, and selfish. Yet
becoming involved with themselves is the very thing these folks
need to do! It bothers them when they see it in others, because
they’re not doing it themselves. When they notice “selfishness” in
others, they could use it as a reminder to check in with their own
needs. They must begin giving attention to themselves, even if at
first they go a bit to extremes.
They might begin by allotting 30 to 40 minutes of solitude for
themselves every day, no matter what. In a room by themselves
with no interference from the outside world, they might have a cup
of tea and plan their day, write in their journal, read an inspiring
book, or just sit and reflect. The point is, it’s their time; during that
time, they come first. If they arrange that one thing for themselves,
they will be able to give to others all day long without becoming
resentful. Paying conscious attention to their breathing also helps: It
keeps them in touch with their bodies. When they are with others,
they could consciously take a deep breath from time to time to keep
themselves inside their own boundaries.
Some nodal groups are here to learn about selflessness. But Aries
North Nodes already know about selflessness—in this lifetime they
need to learn about selfishness. When they stay in touch with
themselves, it works for everyone. It’s not logical, but it’s practical.
When they’re being themselves they’re afraid they may hurt others,
whereas being themselves actually helps others on a deeper level
than they could have anticipated. But Aries North Nodes have to
experiment with being “selfish” (that is, acting on an idea solely
because it gives them a sense of satisfaction) and see how it works
out. It’s time for them to be responsible for creating their own
happiness.

GAINING RECOGNITION

From past lives, Aries North Node people are accustomed to
helping others, supporting others’ ideas, and carrying others’
projects through to completion—so they understand “completion
energy.” However, in this incarnation their job is to start things.
They need to initiate and then let others carry on. If others don’t
come along to help, then it’s fine for them to take sole
responsibility. But if others do show up, their job is to allow others
to support them and complete things for them, so they can get the
ball rolling on the next idea!
Sometimes these folks don’t want to give their project to others
because they fear someone else will get the recognition. They think
that if someone else can do it, they are less valuable. They also
worry that others will take over and leave them behind. They ask
themselves: “What do I do then? What is my job? Where is my
importance?”
These reactions are an outgrowth of painful misunderstandings
that arise when Aries North Node people comingle their identity
with others. To restore their equilibrium, they need to separate
themselves so they can clearly see the role they are playing and the
roles other people are playing. Then they can feel their worth in
discovering the seed idea, and let other people bring the idea to
fruition.
Sometimes their desire for taking credit and gaining recognition
becomes so strong that they repel the creative energy of others who
might have made the idea better and more profitable. If Aries North
Nodes’ idea is truly potent, other people will be drawn to support it,
and each will bring his or her special talents. If Aries North Node
people want their own ideas to become reality, they must
acknowledge the individual talents of the people they have
attracted. By recognizing others’ special talents, they can learn to
validate others without diminishing themselves.
Occasionally, Aries North Node people become so preoccupied
with getting the credit that they try to diminish the importance of
others’ contributions. They want all the credit. Of course, if they
want all the credit they have to take all the responsibility and do all
the work, so a lot of their ideas never bear fruit. They need to
realize that the most important thing is that their original idea gets
recognition—that the seed idea is actualized and spread to the
widest possible audience. For that to happen, they need to step out
of the way and allow others to help. This is a role reversal for Aries
North Nodes; they are the leaders but must allow others to support
them and promote their ideas.
Since it’s their destiny to develop a sense of identity in this
lifetime, in a way their desire for recognition is an attempt to
establish a sense of self. However, motive determines the result. If
their motive is satisfaction and self-discovery, it is correct and they
will win. If their motive is to win recognition from others, then
they’re still hooked on needing feedback for their sense of selfworth. They need to release the idea that others must recognize
them in order for them to recognize themselves, and begin directly
giving themselves credit. The irony is that when they let go of
control and begin recognizing the special talents of those who are
helping them, others will be inspired to contribute more and the
entire project will be permeated with love. And no one else can do
their job—they are discovering the seed ideas for everyone else to
build on.

GROUNDING

Aries North Node people need a grounded, structured existence
to enable them to share their message of love with the world. The
key is in releasing preconceived images of the ways in which love
can be expressed. If they limit the way they express themselves to
fit their ideas of love (harmonious, gentle, sensitive, caring, giving,
compassionate, etc.), they’re going to miss the boat, because love
extends beyond the boundaries of any definitions. If a child is
crossing the street in the path of an oncoming car, love may involve
grabbing the child’s arm and roughly jerking him out of the way!
These folks already know that love is the only reality and all else
is illusion. Thus, they are learning to trust that their impulses will be
the correct expression of love in each situation. When these natives
follow the feelings of love and appreciation within themselves, they
are being themselves. However, they need to be grounded with the
energy so that it’s a solid place for them, rather than a state of being
that allows them to be pushed around by others.
Aries North Node people have a need to experience this love with
others. Their challenge is to maintain the integrity of their own
inner being. The irony is that being just the way they are will teach
others and evoke feelings of love. To do this, these folks must give
up trying to manipulate the other person’s view of them and focus
instead on being themselves with as much authenticity and integrity
as possible in each moment. It seems hard at first, and it takes
discipline and gently reminding themselves to practice their new
focus. But ultimately, they can only come from an honest, selfless
place by staying true to themselves.

ROUTINES

One thing that helps these folks stay grounded is to be aware of
their bodies—allowing their bodies to be a natural boundary that
gives them a sense of self. They have a tendency to “get into” other
people’s consciousness and lose a sense of their own center. So it’s
healthy for them to exercise regularly in order to stay more
grounded and experience the feeling of balance and harmony they
need.
Having a routine is also good for them—it is a way to check in
with themselves every day. It can be very mundane: making the bed
first thing in the morning, brewing coffee, opening the blinds,
following a daily exercise routine, meditating, preparing a healthy
breakfast, walking the dog. Their tendency is to make the bed one
day, the next day partially make the bed, the third day not make it at
all, the fourth day—make it—maybe!
Inconsistency and lack of routine undermine their personal
strength, so daily consistency in the routine is important.
Additionally, they could have a weekly routine or ritual: Once a
week they go to their place of worship, or meet the same group of
friends for lunch. This will counter their tendency to feel victimized
by the randomness of life; it will give them a sense of structure and
discipline emanating from within. Rather than floating in and out of
other people’s energy and consciousness, a routine helps enhance
their own identity.
However, Aries North Node people despise routine, and for good
reason. In past lives, having a routine would make them less
available to support others whenever they were needed. They didn’t
develop their own routines—their own life—so they could more
easily adjust to others’ needs. But in this incarnation, it is to their
advantage to develop strong routines and allow others to adapt to
them. Also, having their own routines keeps them from falling into
other people’s routines. The discipline this develops is
strengthening for them: It evokes the warrior in them, and they feel
great about it!
Exploring hobbies and talents is also a good way to develop a
sense of self. As Aries North Node people spend time on their own
interests, apart from their primary relationship, their identity
blossoms. They need to develop these talents through consistent
application: regularly taking the time to do the things that bring a
sense of personal satisfaction. For example, if they have artistic
talents, they might enroll in an art class. If their talent is music, they
might take lessons. If they love dancing, they might take dance
lessons and/or go dancing regularly with their partner or friends.

SELF-DISCIPLINE

Aries North Nodes’ sense of being grounded involves selfdiscipline. Everything that will work to their advantage requires
discipline: spending time alone on a daily basis, following a few
self-chosen routines to make their lives strong, and remembering to
appreciate themselves.
One experiment that will help these folks practice self-discipline
and checking in with themselves is to become aware of their eating
habits. The idea is to not eat unconsciously (out of boredom or to
cope with feelings) but to notice when their bodies are hungry and
then tune in to what their bodies would like to eat. They can use
visualization in this. They can imagine having a bite of salad and
notice how their bodies feel in response. If they imagine soup in
their mouths, or a sandwich, or fruit, or mashed potatoes, they can
tell how their bodies will respond.
Aries North Node people are so sensitive that when they visualize
eating a particular food, their bodies will actually tell them whether
that food will make them feel good, or sluggish, or energetic. Then
they can eat depending on what they want to experience at the time.
But they are so “out of touch” with themselves that even this
process may be challenging at first. They may have to work on it;
yet when they do it, it’s very satisfying and will strengthen their
connection with themselves.
Self-discipline is not a punishment, it’s a practice. It involves
strengthening the “take-charge” muscles and doing things on a
habitual basis that promote strength, health, and well-being. These
folks can use self-discipline as a tool to uncover their identity.
Consciously practicing self-discipline will evoke the warrior within
them in a balanced, harmonious way.
On a spiritual level, Aries North Node people are discovering
who they really are—allowing a new, innate, and natural identity to
emerge. How ever, sometimes they can use their lack of clear
identity to their advantage in breaking troublesome habits. One easy
way for these folks to practice self-discipline is through simply
reinventing their identity. Since they have no preconceived, rigid
perception of themselves, by changing their identity in their own
minds they can make healthy changes in their lives. For example, I
had a client with this nodal position who wasn’t a smoker in his
youth, but who began smoking heavily five years prior to my seeing
him. One day he suddenly stopped smoking, with no side effects or
withdrawal symptoms. He simply “remembered himself” as a
nonsmoker!

ESTABLISHING ONE’S CENTER
RELATIONSHIP AS CENTER

Aries North Node people have had so many lifetimes of
identifying with others that they have confused their “center”—their
inner sense of self—with that of their partner. They are
hypersensitive to the partner’s moods because the other person
actually rests at their “center.” Thus, if the partner is unhappy or
dissatisfied, Aries North Node will feel it. He can spend all his time
and energy trying to make his partner happy so that his own sense
of well-being and contentment remains undisturbed.
The problem is that nobody can take on the responsibility for
making another person happy. The best one can do is “appease” the
partner, adding an ingredient that will temporarily change her
mood; but the partner must then constantly be appeased in order to
stay happy. And it just isn’t set up to work that way for Aries North
Nodes in this lifetime.
Actually, the growth required of them is best achieved by deemphasizing the idea that relationships are necessary for their
survival. They are learning to stand alone and relate to others from a
new perspective. However, despite their sensitivity, these folks are
often blissfully ignorant about other people: what motivates them,
what they are seeking, and what kind of success they would like to
achieve. Sometimes they only see the other person (and themselves)
on the superficial level of having immediate needs and desires that
are, or are not, satisfied. They only see deeply enough into the other
person’s identity to manipulate him into keeping the mood
harmonious. This is why people surprise or disappoint Aries North
Nodes—they never saw who the other person really was.
In many ways, Aries North Node people are not relating to the
other person at all—they are relating to the relationship between
themselves and the other person. This does not lead to truly helping
their partner—or themselves—to grow. The relationship is not an
entity; it cannot grow unless the two individuals grow. Thus, no
matter how much time and energy these folks devote to the
relationship, it cannot give back to them. So they are better off
examining the needs for autonomy and individual creative
expression of both partners. By encouraging and inspiring the other
person to achieve results on his or her own, they free both the
partner and themselves to evolve as individuals.
Another drawback to Aries North Nodes’ focusing on the
relationship rather than on the other individual is that they can’t
really validate their partners’ identity. When Aries North Node
people believe in their partners’ ability to be self-sufficient—rather
than constantly appeasing them, reassuring them, or “picking up the
slack”—they will begin to notice the other person’s strengths and
can encourage him or her to exercise those strengths. This sets the
stage for also seeing themselves on a deeper level, noticing their
own strengths and pursuing their own impulses for growth.

FAIRNESS AND SELF-ASSERTION

Aries North Node people are preoccupied with ideals of justice
and fairness; when they think something is unjust, they fly off the
handle. They want the world and other people to meet their rigid
standards. They figure: “I’ll play fair with others, and others should
play fair with me.” These folks sincerely wish the world were more
just, but it’s actually in their best interest that it doesn’t work that
way! Because their ideas of justice don’t work, they are motivated
to act directly from their instincts—their identity—as opposed to
“being nice.” For many incarnations they’ve been waiting for a time
when it’s okay to be themselves—and this is it!
In this lifetime their sense of fairness and justice is not an
accurate barometer of whether these folks are on track or whether
they have a right to be angry with another. In fact, whenever they
“get on their high horse” about injustice or fairness, they are off
path. First, their definition of “fair” has a lot to do with the fact that
they sacrifice their needs and desires for others—they constantly
violate the boundaries of how much they can give without loss to
self. Then, in “fairness,” they expect others to do the same. These
natives are learning to stop violating their own natural limits and to
not entice others to go beyond their boundaries.
Aries North Node people become resentful if they think
something isn’t fair. If they feel resentment, it’s a signal to pull back
and recharge. It also signals a need to express their emotions: “I
seem to be feeling resentful, so I’m going to take some time by
myself and work it out.”
Honest expression validates and strengthens their sense of
identity. It also gives the other person a chance to become aware of
Aries North Node’s needs and boundaries. From the other person’s
response, the native has a clearer idea of who he is dealing with. If
the other person says: “Did I say something that offended you?”
Aries North Node has the opportunity to work it out on the spot. He
cannot expect others to be as sensitive as he is, since others have
had different past life experiences. But once he openly expresses
himself, he can tell from the other’s response how much selfassertion will be necessary before the other person hears him and
honors his needs.
Aries North Node people are learning to be assertive in a
constructive way that promotes fairness through clear selfexpression. For example, I had an Aries North Node client who was
in the process of purchasing—through rather large monthly
payments—some real estate from a friend of hers. One day the
friend approached her with a need for money for an unexpected
problem, and my client immediately gave her the money (the
instinctive Aries North Node desire to help and share). She assumed
the other person would either repay it or deduct the amount from
her next payment. However, her friend never repaid or
acknowledged that money in any way. My client felt hurt and
resentful but never brought the matter up. Naturally, she
emotionally distanced herself from her onetime friend.
This type of incident seems to occur frequently in Aries North
Node peoples’ lives; as a consequence, they feel let down by others.
From a broader point of view, this is life’s way of teaching these
folks to assert themselves. They need to take responsibility for
themselves in their interactions with others. In the example, when
the friend approached her, my client could have said: “Sure—I’ll
just take the amount off my next payment, or I could take a third off
on the next three payments, or, what will work for you?” In this
way, she would have satisfied her need to share and taken care of
herself in a direct, honest, fair way.
Aries North Node people truly do love to give—it’s their nature.
But their motive needs to be love, not creating co-dependence.
Their giving must be pure, without an expectation of result, in order
for them to be free of disappointment in their relationships. If they
find they are giving in an imbalanced way, they can openly bargain
with their partner so that both people’s needs are equitably met. It’s
when they expect others to reciprocate, without letting them know
exactly what they expect, that they go off track—they need to give
their silent expectations a voice!
It’s their job to be sure things are fair by asserting themselves and
letting others know what they expect in return for their giving. If
they do this they will feel happy because they were the ones who
ensured that fairness came about. This builds their confidence.
Rather than being displeased with others, they will be pleased with
themselves.
Since they are the ones who know about fairness, they can teach
others by openly stating their standards. Then they are not only
giving to the other person but also sharing their knowledge of how
to give and take in relationships.
These folks can access the fresh energy that is emerging in this
lifetime through honest self-assertion—not by waiting and reacting
to the expectations of others, but by getting in touch with (and
expressing) the impulses of their own being. Even though their
sensitivity to others is strong, they must continue to build a sense of
their own identity. Through practicing self-sufficiency a new
confidence will emerge, empowering them to relate to others in
healthy, innovative ways.

RELATIONSHIPS

DEPENDENCE

Dependence on harmony with others (especially the marriage
partner) is the primary issue for Aries North Node people in this
lifetime. Actually, the problem goes beyond dependence—it may
involve total identification with the partner, and sometimes with all
significant others. Aries North Nodes often become so identified
with their partners that they are overwhelmed by the other person’s
emotions. When the other person feels distraught, their first reaction
is to rush to say whatever is necessary to restore harmony so that
they (Aries North Nodes) can feel better. They handle the partner as
an extension of themselves, and then they lose patience trying to get
the other person to “straighten up” and be harmonious so that they
can feel comfortable with themselves again. But their sense of
urgency generally makes things worse.
These folks need to notice that when they try to regain their own
inner harmony by manipulating their partner, it doesn’t work. What
does work when they feel a lack of harmony from their partner is to
politely excuse themselves and spend some time alone. Aries North
Nodes need to respect others enough to allow them to experience
whatever they are feeling and to work through it on their own,
unless they ask for help. This is how people reach a deeper level of
self-awareness.
Additionally, these natives can gain a better understanding of
what is happening with their partner when they get a little distance.
This is why it is crucial for them to have their own space
surrounded by their own personal possessions to reinforce their
sense of identity. They need a private place to go when they become
overidentified with the partner—a place where they can be alone.

BOUNDARIES

These folks can never experience inner tranquility as long as
they refuse to acknowledge their own boundaries—and their
partner’s—and allow another person to be their “center.” For
example, I had an Aries North Node client who came to me hoping
to resolve marriage difficulties. He had been married for twentythree years, had a great deal of money, and his pattern had always
been to appease his wife’s moods by buying her things. They
traveled extensively—anything to keep her happy—because when
she was happy, he was happy. But it was all manipulation on his
part so he could remain undisturbed and have a sense of solidity,
because he had placed her at his center.
Over the years she became increasingly difficult to please, and
eventually nothing could satisfy her. She became verbally abusive
to other family members as a way of generating a sense of her own
substance and individual personhood. The destructiveness
accelerated until the negative energy even made her unhappy.
My client was beside himself; nothing he could do would keep
his partner happy and his own center undisturbed. This is a lesson
Aries North Node people are learning: Even under ideal conditions,
it is impossible to remain peaceful when someone else rests in your
center. None of us really knows what can keep another person
happy, and we rob them of the challenge of discovering and
fulfilling themselves if we take on that responsibility. If my client
had not distracted his wife from her moments of unhappiness so that
he could stay calm, she would have had the opportunity to learn to
handle her own moods. This might have averted her need to become
destructive as a means of finally being in charge of her own inner
state of being.
Aries North Node people are not accustomed to declaring the
boundaries of their own identity—immediately, as those boundaries
arise within them. They still feel a need to support their partner,
even if it goes against their own best interests. So if their partner
disagrees with something they want to do, they may say: “Okay, I
won’t do it,” but decide they are going to do it anyway. By not
honestly standing up for themselves, they reinforce the unhealthy
dependence within the relationship.
Some of these kinds of problems stem from the tremendous love
and compassion that these folks are born with. They have spent so
many past lifetimes developing sensitivity that now it is not unusual
for them to feel more compassionate toward another person or
situation than their partner does. Sometimes the partner may not
want to deal with a certain problem and the Aries North Node says:
“Okay, we won’t,” in order to avoid disharmony. Then he starts to
feel resentful, yet helpless to correct the situation. His need to
support others can lead him to go behind his partner’s back and lend
a helping hand; but then his partner feels a breach of trust, which
damages the relationship, and the Aries North Node person feels
unsupported in being who he really is.
Resolution for this problem can come through both parties
expanding their idea of “we” to become more flexible: sometimes
as a team, and sometimes as two separate individuals. In the above
situation, Aries North Node should communicate what he is
experiencing—which takes a lot of courage. For example: “Okay—
I hear that you feel resistance to supporting this situation, and I
want to put energy into it. So I will do this independently.” When
the recognition of a different preference arises, these folks need to
risk saying: “I don’t feel that way about it.” The problem isn’t in
doing what they feel is correct; the problem is in lying about it.

CHOOSING A PARTNER

In seeking a mate or any other close connection, Aries North
Node people are subconsciously seeking a relationship in which
they can lose themselves. They wish to become so submerged in the
other person that they are totally “safe.” It’s the old “1/2 + 1/2 = 1
whole” theory, but it doesn’t work for these people. Rather, they are
here to learn that “1 whole + 1 whole = a healthy team.”
However, until they become aware, they will attempt to find
someone with whom they can identify, and then they pour all their
love and support into reinforcing that other person. But when they
seek a partner from this position, it never works out. Often they are
attracted to people who abuse them or let them down. In fact, just
the opposite approach is scheduled to work for these folks. They
need to stop focusing on others and concentrate on themselves
instead. As they begin to focus on being themselves, allowing their
own true, unique identity to emerge, and going in their own
individual direction, their energy will attract the right person—
someone who will appreciate and value them.
Aries North Node people are so accustomed to the joys of
partnership from past lives that they subconsciously associate being
happy with being in a relationship that is mutually, joyfully
symbiotic. They came into this lifetime wanting to do everything
with their partner, all the time. They are basically cheerful people,
but an energy drain is taking place beneath the surface of the
relationship that is based on feelings of dependence. Aries North
Nodes’ need for attention and to be included as part of the other
person’s identity are a bottomless pit.
Subconsciously, these folks believe they cannot survive without
the energy of others. So they tend to cultivate a mutual dependence
with stronger people around them. They take time and energy away
from their own goals to help the partner reach hers. They give of
their understanding, being more sensitive to others’ needs than to
their own. In this way they create a dependence, becoming an
integral part of what the other person needs to survive.
Then Aries North Node people resent their partners for
“interfering” with their independence and blame them when they
don’t reach their goals, even though the Aries North Nodes created
the unhealthy dependence. They think it’s love (indeed, these folks
are very loving and cooperative), but a lot of their self-sacrifice is
subconscious manipulation. Love never expects anything in return
for giving, and resentment is a by-product of expecting something
and not getting it. Aries North Node people must learn to be honest
with themselves and others about how much they are willing to give
and what they expect in return. Being part of a team means making
sure they are also supported.

LEARNING INDEPENDENCE

Because these folks are learning the lesson of not depending on
others, they subconsciously attract people who are undependable.
Although this gives them the opportunity to learn to depend on
themselves, the process can be quite painful.
Aries North Node people are often so intent on influencing the
relationship in ways that result in the complete integration of two
people that they don’t fully notice the partner’s identity. They see
the other person only in terms of what it takes to please him or her.
They don’t generally stop to notice who the other person is on a
deeper level, in terms of his or her true inner identity. Worse yet,
because they are looking for someone to fill their center so they can
feel complete, they assume that others also lack a sense of self and
are looking for a partner in order to gain a sense of completion.
Thus, they enter relationships with some very naïve and inaccurate
premises.
Operating with flawed ideas of who the other person is and what
he or she wants, Aries North Node people often become deeply
emotionally invested and then end up confused when the other
person leaves or lets them down. Many other people do have a
sense of their own center, and many independent types will rebel
against the stifling aspect of Aries North Node wanting to be
connected at every moment, in consciousness if not physically.
Aries North Node people tend to gravitate to people who are
selfish and require a great deal of personal attention. They attract
types who expect total attention and accept their energy without
giving back on an equal basis. Through indiscriminate giving, Aries
North Nodes may also inadvertently cause an initially sensitive
partner to become insensitive.
Generally, these folks are better off around people who show
some sensitivity in return. They are more comfortable around
people with whom they don’t have to “clash energy.” They have a
tendency to allow the other person to completely submerge them, so
they need to be with someone who encourages them to be
themselves and who won’t abuse their loving, giving nature. Of
course, letting people know where they stand helps others to be
sensitive in return.

INDIRECT APPROACHES
AVOIDING CONFLICTS

Aries North Node people sometimes are so attached to peace
and harmony that they inadvertently damage their relationships by
avoiding all conflict. They may start out saying: “Okay, I’m going
to be a team player” and then foresee a conflict; rather than deal
with it when it comes along, they postpone it until it becomes a
major dispute.
Their challenge is to be vigilant in consistently standing their
ground and verbalizing their impulses right away. For example, if
an idea excites them, they need to say: “I want to do this” rather
than lie about it or downplay it. What stops them is their fear that
they are coming from a different point of view—or have a different
objective—from that of their partner. They feel threatened because
—when they don’t deal with it instantly—they magnify the
difference in their mind, telling themselves that it is so vast it can
never be resolved. Actually, if Aries North Node people honestly
reveal where they stand right from the start, these differences
become opportunities to connect more deeply with their partner.
Often these folks postpone telling the truth for fear of widening
an existing difference of opinion. If they want to do something and
know their partner will object, they may try to do it without the
other person knowing. Then, when the other person finds out, the
difference of opinion remains, along with hurt and a breach of trust.
By not discussing the situation, they have deprived their partner of
the opportunity to be generous and support them in doing something
for their own growth. Now a discussion may pacify the situation,
but there will be a lot of work to do to repair the damage to the
relationship.
For example, I had an Aries North Node client who was an
airline pilot. As a side business, he delivered airplanes—which he
greatly enjoyed. He wanted to deliver an airplane to Turkey, but his
wife wanted him to keep other family commitments. He knew she
didn’t want him to go on this particular trip, but he felt he needed to
do it—so he began making plans for the delivery without discussing
it with her. Then, when the time came, he said: “Well, I’m going to
go take this trip” and his wife said: “But we talked about this and
you said you wouldn’t go!” Then he was faced with the fact that he
had lied to her. Now, in order to go, he would have to bring her into
agreement and undo the hurt of the lie. By the time it reached this
point, he gave up and didn’t go.
This is how these folks often lose the opportunity to do what they
want, because they know that solving the communication problem
with their partner is more important than what they want to do. It
brings the relationship back into sync, but they are left feeling
resentful because once again they’ve sacrificed their own desires to
keep the peace. This is why they must be willing to “come clean”
from the beginning and let their partner see not only what they want
to do but why it is important to them. They need to sit down with
their partner and discuss their own desires and fears.
In the example, my client could have said to his wife: “There’s
something I want to share with you. It’s something that’s very
important to me, and my concern is that you’re not going to realize
how important it is. I’m concerned that you won’t support me, and
then I won’t do it.” This may seem manipulative, but it’s really an
honest voicing of concerns. Once acknowledged, the fears dissolve.
Then my client could have communicated his desired direction and
motive: “I want to deliver an airplane to a buyer in Turkey. It’s
important to me because I want to build my own business and
establish an independent income. It’s something that will give me
personal satisfaction and build my confidence.”
Once the partner sees that the direction Aries North Node wants
to take has a larger outcome, she has the opportunity to demonstrate
love by supporting him. If the partner still doesn’t support his
independent direction, Aries North Node should re-evaluate
whether the partnership is truly allowing for both people’s
individual growth.

POSTPONING DECISIONS

Aries North Node people habitually put the other person first
and neglect feeding their own life force the energy it needs to grow
stronger. When they give up the direction of their own life, they
become weak on all levels;—they need their partner’s energy to
survive. They are learning the necessity of participating in activities
that excite them, as an individual.
Out of a desire to be fair, these folks often postpone making
decisions for themselves until they have consulted their partner.
Unfortunately, when they look at a situation from the other person’s
point of view, they may not be true to their own impulses for fear of
hurting the other person.
When in doubt, they can ask themselves: “Are my actions
making me feel good about myself?” If so, their best bet is first to
verbalize what they want, and then ask the other person what he or
she would like. It’s a simple technique, yet one that supports them
in being themselves in a way that is also fair to their partner.
For example, an Aries North Node person may be driving home
from work and sees a marquee advertising the new release of Gone
With the Wind. Instantly, her sense of excitement says: “Yes! I want
to see that movie with Tom!” Normally, she would go home and
say: “Hi, Tom! Do you have any plans for tonight?” And her
husband might respond: “Gosh, I’m exhausted. I thought we’d just
stay home, watch Monday Night Football, and take something out
of the freezer for dinner.” Being accustomed to diplomacy, tact, and
manipulation, she would probably respond indirectly: “I’ll bet it
would make you feel a lot better to go to a movie tonight and just
get out of the house.” “I don’t want to go out, and you know how
much I like Monday Night Football!” “I know, Tom, but we haven’t
been out together in such a long time . . .” At that point her
husband, feeling manipulated, would probably explode and insist on
staying home. She would storm off, feeling resentful and thinking:
“We never do what I want; we always have to do what he wants!”
Yet the fact is, she never even mentioned the movie.
A better approach is for the Aries North Node person to mention
her preference first, in a direct way, and then ask the other person
what he had in mind. She could have said: “Hi, Tom! On the way
home I noticed they’re showing a new release of Gone With the
Wind at the theater. I got so excited—I’d just love for us to go see it
tonight! Did you have any plans?” He would have said: “Gosh, I’m
exhausted. I was hoping we could stay home and watch Monday
Night Football.” Aries North Nodes are experts at compromise.
Once both positions are on the table, they can see a solution that
will be fair to both sides: “Well, I can see that you’re tired and the
only night for Monday Night Football is Monday night. So why
don’t we stay home tonight, and then tomorrow night we’ll go out
and see the movie.”

FEAR OF COMMITMENT

Owing to past lives of feeling manipulated and abused in
relationships, in this lifetime Aries North Node people are afraid of
relationships and marriage—recognizing that they have a tendency
to give too much and lose themselves. So although they are very
attracted to relationships, part of them holds back, preferring the
single life to taking the risk of once again losing independence.
Although in many ways they are natural marriage partners, they
may subconsciously sabotage close relationships before they reach
the stage of making a commitment. Or they may convince
themselves that as much as they long for a partner, they just haven’t
found the right person.
There are various modern-day solutions to their hesitancy: being
in a monogamous relationship and maintaining separate residences,
or living with their partner without a formal commitment. Marriage
can work if they have first made a conscious decision to be faithful
to themselves and their own integrity. Ultimately, it’s the same
challenge: first developing their own independent identity, and then
learning how to relate with their partner in interdependent and
cooperative ways.

INDEPENDENCE

Aries North Node people tend to think they need permission
from their partner before it’s “okay” for them to take independent
action. They start “checking in” with the partner in a childlike way,
indulging in extravagant manipulations and justifications to obtain
approval and support. They give away their power to their partner
and then feel they have to become adversarial to be themselves. Or
they may simply give up on what they wanted to do.
In this lifetime it works better for them to approach other people
on an adult level. This means letting their partner know their
intentions and plans with the energy of leadership, courage, and
excitement—without letting themselves or the other person know
how inwardly fragile they feel. If their partner has reservations, they
can explain that for their own self-discovery and personal growth
they need to go ahead with their decision—at which point the
partner will adapt and go along, or else they can begin negotiations
for how both people can win.
For their primary relationship to be successful, Aries North Node
people are learning the value of doing things by themselves and
pursuing activities that bring a sense of personal satisfaction. Then
they won’t need to “share energy” with just one other person in
order to be happy—they can expand and interact with many
different people while developing and strengthening their own
identity. Once they have developed their own sense of
independence, they can really connect with—and enjoy—their
primary partner, because each individual has something to offer.
Because their battery has been charged outside the relationship, they
have more energy to exchange within the relationship.
But Aries North Node people aren’t always clear about what they
want to do. It can be more difficult for them to make up their minds
than for many of the other nodal groups. These folks are always
trying to discern what others want, what they want, and what would
be fair in any situation.
Naturally, weighing all these considerations takes time. If Aries
North Nodes allow themselves to be pressured into making a hasty
decision, they are generally unhappy with the results. These folks
cannot allow themselves to get stampeded! When an emotional
component is introduced into the situation, they lose clarity and
become vulnerable to “going along” with something that may not be
in their best interest. They are learning not to make any decisions or
agree to anything under emotional pressure. When they feel this
kind of energy in a situation, the best thing is to say: “I’m not going
to make this decision under emotional pressure.” That will give
them time to regain balance and clarity. Or they could say: “It’s
going to take me some time to weigh what’s been said. Everything
sounds valid to me, but I need some time for it to settle in. I’d like
to continue this at a later date.”
Especially in personal relationships, they need to speak honestly
and directly. “There’s emotional pressure here. That’s not the way
I’m going to decide.” Their feedback gives the other person the
opportunity to become aware of what they are doing. It also
validates one of the facets of the Aries North Node person’s
identity: sensitivity to others and awareness of what is going on in
relationships. Being “up front” with their identity in this way helps
Aries North Nodes to gain strength and self-confidence.
SELFISHNESS
In this culture, selfishness is considered a negative quality.
However, Aries North Node people have overdone the quality of
selflessness in past lives, so now they must consciously practice
selfishness just to get back to center! The irony is that when they
take action that they consider “selfish”—trusting themselves and
acting on their initial impulse to do what makes them feel happy
and strong—later they find that it was actually the best decision for
everyone involved.
It can be tough for these folks to put themselves first. For
example, if they are at a party and not feeling well, it takes a lot of
courage for them to say: “I need to leave” or “Can you take me
home?” They’re thinking: “If I leave, what will others think? Do
they need me to be here to make it easier for them?” They become
so fixated on others that sometimes their bodies have to really
overreact to force them to pay attention to themselves.
When Aries North Node people acknowledge their feelings and
express their impulses, without having to be rational, it works for
everyone. After all, no one can see the bigger picture. In the
example, it could be that their need to go home will take the other
person out of a situation that, had they stayed, would have resulted
in a serious problem that no one could have foreseen.
Aries North Node people’s honest, impulsive responses
automatically bring justice to the circumstances around them. For
example, they may feel uncomfortable in a situation and say: “For
some reason I feel upset; I don’t know what it is.” Then the other
person may say: “Gosh—I bet when I mentioned _____, it triggered
that upset. That really wasn’t fair.” When Aries North Nodes
communicate in a nonconfrontational way, it gives others a chance
to recognize what they’re doing and alter their behavior.

GOALS

SELF-DISCOVERY

The joy of self-discovery is one of the greatest highs for Aries
North Node people in this lifetime. Their best technique for selfdiscovery is the courage to follow their impulses. It may seem
illogical, but this approach will manifest vitality in their lives. Their
style may resemble that of the Aries Ram (sometimes butting their
heads, taking chances, and getting hurt), but that’s how they find out
who they are. The path of self-discovery involves taking risks and
experiencing the different facets of themselves, rather than results.
If self-discovery is their conscious, underlying motive behind any
action, they will never lose—because whatever happens will reveal
more about who they are.

SELF-REFLECTION

When these folks see themselves through the eyes of others,
they can see who others think they are or who others want them to
be—but it isn’t really them. They have to be themselves, no matter
how others perceive them. And they aren’t going to find out who
they are until they begin expressing their inner impulses and letting
people know what’s really going on with them.
Seeing themselves through others’ eyes equals “how to lose” for
Aries North Nodes. It dilutes their confidence in making decisions
based on their own nature. As they begin seeing themselves through
their own eyes, they can start doing the things that please them,
increase their energy, and bolster themselves so that they feel
confident and nourished. They are learning that their behavior
doesn’t always have to be “logical” and that they don’t have to
justify themselves and their decisions.
They are also learning to shift focus from being sensitive to the
ebbs and flows of others’ needs and emotions, to being sensitive to
the ebbs and flows within themselves. As they develop this skill and
begin to live in a way that is fair to self, they find the sense of
justice they have been seeking. Only by respecting and honoring
themselves can they expect others to treat them fairly. They respect
themselves when they let others know their needs and expectations
in relationships. When they are honest about who they are and what
they expect, they will attract people who resonate with their values
and can give back to them what they need.

SELF-LOVE

Aries North Node people are learning to turn their welldeveloped capacity for love to loving themselves. One of the
reasons they postpone letting others see where they stand is that
they are insecure. Thus, one of their challenges is to validate and
give approval to self. They need to support their sense of self by
allowing themselves to be seen. Once they begin to reveal
themselves to others, they build trust by seeing that self-revelation
actually works.
To motivate themselves to take this risk, these folks can review
their past experiences and see that the other ways they have tried to
balance relationships (compromise or evasion) have not worked. To
change the outcome, they need to change their methods for dealing
with others in close relationships.
In loving self, they are supporting themselves in actualizing their
own dreams. When they get to a place of loving themselves enough
to really want their ideas to work out, they will realize that honesty
is the only way to do it. “How am I going to make this idea work?
The only way I can do it is by taking out the barrier of dishonesty.”
Then, the energy of the relationship supports them rather than
opposes them. In the beginning, their fears make them think they
will face opposition, but they have to be willing to walk through
that fear for the sake of their idea. Then, because they are not hiding
anything, they can focus all their energy in the direction they want
to go, and even enlist the support of others in putting their plans into
action.
When Aries North Node people put themselves first, in a natural
way, everyone wins. What actions make them feel stronger, happier,
more complete, and satisfied? Self-love involves making choices
that support themselves. They can make a start by asking some
basic questions: “What is going to help me survive? What will help
me further my goals? Which road is best in terms of reducing stress
and benefiting my health?”

ASSERTIVENESS

In realizing the goal of constructive assertiveness, Aries North
Node people must let go of a subconscious attachment to being a
“Nice Person,” which was their identity in past lives. In order for
their new, authentic identity to emerge, they need to express
themselves with no preconceived notions of what they “ought” to
do. The idea is to be impulsive and say what first comes to mind.
Honest assertiveness will teach them who they are and validate their
true identity, apart from others’ projections.
Rather than wait for others, these folks need to allow their own
inner impulses to motivate them to take immediate action. As they
validate their impulses by acting on them, their impulses will
become stronger and more energizing.
Aries North Node people are learning another aspect of
assertiveness, which is to let others know the boundaries of their
identity, to stand up for themselves, and to not allow others to abuse
them. They assume that others will be sensitive to them out of love,
but this is not always the case. Their job is to learn to be sensitive to
themselves and have enough self-love to not allow themselves to be
hurt.
There is a story of an Enlightened Master who was traveling
through India. He came to a village and noticed there were no
children playing. “Where are all the children?” the Master asked.
“Master, there is a huge serpent in the woods who comes at night
and eats the children,” replied one of the villagers. “Please help us!”
So the Master went into the woods: “Serpent, show yourself before
me!” And because all beings are subject to an Enlightened Master,
the serpent slid out of his hiding place. “Serpent, it is wrong of you
to eat the children of this village. You must never eat another
child!” admonished the Master. The serpent was ashamed and
replied: “Yes, Master!”
The Enlightened Master continued his travels, and ten years later
he carne to the same village and saw children of all ages. But in one
corner he noticed a group of children involved in some intense
activity. The Master approached and in the center of their circle
found the serpent, wounded and nearly dead from their torture. The
Master chased the children away and said to the serpent: “My
friend, how is it that you have let this happen to you?” The serpent
replied: “But Master, you said I was not to eat the children.” The
Master answered: “Oh foolish serpent, I told you not to bite; I didn’t
tell you not to hiss!”
This is what Aries North Node people are learning: to “hiss” at
the very beginning of abuse in relationships. They need to let others
know when their sensitivity has been wounded, or when they feel
inequity in giving, or when they need more support. The idea is to
let others know before they feel taken advantage of and withdraw
from the relationship, either physically or psychologically. If they
allow others to abuse them, everyone loses.

TRUST
TRUSTING SELF

A major goal for Aries North Node people is learning to trust
themselves and be themselves—to find a healthy way of relating
that doesn’t trap them into being a support system for other people.
In their relationships, the end result won’t be love and fairness
unless they risk the honesty and integrity of being exactly who they
are. It means trusting their intuitive wisdom—that it’s coming from
such a strong base of love that if they really express that inner
spark, it will work out for everyone involved.
This takes courage and a willingness to experiment, but when
these folks trust enough to risk it, they’ll find that it works. Because
they’re not used to being a leader, they tend to fall back if others
initially resist their direction. They think it’s an indication that
they’re off track. Actually, their ideas are unique and innovative, so
often the first response from others is resistance. (People nearly
always resist a new idea because it means change. It’s a natural
response, and part of being a leader is understanding that.) As Aries
North Nodes continue to “make a show of confidence” and follow
their inner impulses, they’ll find that others will often adapt and go
along with their decisions.
They are learning to experience the joy of self-discovery. Life is
an adventure, and as they view it that way and begin following up
their spontaneous impulses and ideas with action, a sense of fullness
and happiness begins to grow within them. But they have to make
that decision to trust their own instinctive impulses.
For example, I had an Aries North Node client who had paid into
an Oscar pool at work—she had her own intuition about who was
going to win. But then she started talking to other people about their
opinions, lost confidence in her choices, and went with someone
else’s decision. When she lost in the pool, she felt very defeated and
wished she had trusted her own instincts instead.
These folks need to stop doubting themselves and simply start
being themselves. Their challenge is to act on their spontaneous
impulses. When they take responsibility for creating their own
happiness by actively pursuing a direction that could help them
reach their goal, they are led to activities and/or people that answer
their needs. After taking one step, the right idea about what action
to take next always seems to come to them.
For example, I had an Aries North Node client who had been
yearning for an appropriate romantic partner for years. However,
scarcity of any potential partners was interspersed with a few
disastrous relationships. Unhappiness and depression plagued her
until she had to turn to antidepressants for relief. Finally she let go
of her fantasy of finding Prince Charming and began pursuing
activities that gave her a feeling of confidence and made her happy.
She started feeling better as she became more actively involved
in things. Jogging was a source of enjoyment for her, but she didn’t
want to begin a routine all by herself in the dark, early morning
hours that were best for her schedule. Rather than postpone jogging
until she met someone who had a similar schedule, she took the
initiative and placed an ad for a morning jogging partner in the local
paper. Four people responded, she began running with them, and
one turned out to be Prince Charming! But this only came about
when she ceased looking to others for fulfillment and began filling
her needs in a direct and logical way.

TRUSTING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Aries North Node people always want to pretend that everything
is fine. They feel guilty about having so-called negative emotions.
Owing to lack of past life experience being in touch with their
individuality, they aren’t always aware of their emotional responses
at the time they are happening. Sometimes they experience an
emotion and do not recognize it until a few weeks later when they
think back and realize: “I was really angry.” A friend may say:
“How was the month of January for you?” And they’ll say: “Now
that you mention it, I felt really lonely and depressed.” But during
January, if someone had asked how they felt, they would have
responded: “Just fine!”
So it is to their advantage to give themselves “time out” on a
regular basis to get in touch with what’s going on inside. When
they’re not aware of their emotions, they often react to things in an
irrational way that surprises them. When this happens, their
tendency is to go off by themselves, re-experience the emotion, and
think about it so they can be more rational. This works well,
especially if they can let the other person know: “For some reason I
feel upset, but I’m not sure why.” In this way they are honestly
acknowledging their feelings without taking it out on the other
person. Even if they do explode, afterwards they can say: “For some
reason I got upset. I’m not sure why, but I’ll think about it and get
back to you.” Even after the fact, it’s a helpful process.
Sometimes these folks are cruel and hurtful, and they feel good
doing it. They are angry—there have been too many past
incarnations when they were “nice” at their own expense. So now,
out of the blue, they lash out at someone who’s close to them—
someone whose love they can count on anyway. They unleash their
anger and then apologize. Subconsciously, they want to see if these
people will love them no matter what (as they have so often
accepted others), so they can better accept themselves.
In this lifetime, Aries North Node people are learning to integrate
negative emotions: anger, resentment, and the like. This energy is
healthy for them to express. It’s their power that they suppressed in
past lives to get along with others, and now these feelings demand
attention. These so-called negative emotions are their strength, but
in a coarse, unrefined form.
Rage, anger, and the like are all part of the yang energy (the
potent, assertive, leadership energy—the masculine part of
themselves) that has been so heavily repressed. Now Aries North
Node people must tap into this energy and integrate it with the
gentle, sensitive energy they have developed so well in past
incarnations; this will facilitate the healthy expression of their
warrior nature.
An excellent technique to help them with this process is a regular
program of physical exercise. Taking a martial arts class would be
perfect for releasing and integrating this intense energy. And if that
energy is being released consistently and constructively, it won’t
come out inappropriately. These folks need hard physical exercise:
aerobics, boxing, raquetball, tennis—activities that give expression
to their warrior nature—and they’ll feel great about doing it!
Aries North Node people have an aversion to competition, but
actually competition is very good for them. They get nervous
watching others compete, but when they themselves compete it
brings out the best in them and they handle it beautifully. It
strengthens and validates what has been suppressed in past lives.
They may fear losing, but if they review their past experience, they
are always able to shake it off—and then they are glad that the other
person won. If they do win they feel good, and they handle winning
in a way that’s “nice.” So they “win” either way, as long as they go
in wanting to win.
For these folks to enjoy competition, they must feel that there is
something worth competing for. They also can build strength by
competing against themselves. Instead of giving up after five miles,
they should try to go farther. They need to do things that reveal how
strong and capable they are. Also, they may see other people doing
things, and that gives them the impetus to try something new. In this
sense, they are comparing themselves to others in a positive way
that encourages their own growth.

CLAIMING ONE’S POWER

Aries North Node people are learning to claim their own power
and to stand in their power when relating to others. They are
coming into their own. Sometimes they get scared when they see
how powerful they can be when they’re present in their own bodies
and fully grounded in their own identity. These natives still feel shy
and have a fear of expressing themselves. When they don’t stand in
their own power, often it is because their minds are making them
afraid of being wrong.
“Being wrong” is not the problem for these folks. They’re afraid
that if they’re wrong, their power is at risk of being invalidated. But
if they look back on experiences when they’ve put themselves on
the line and been wrong, they’ve still felt validated because they
took a stand and discovered something new about themselves.
Being present in their power and taking a stand are more important
for them than the outcome.
They must follow their impulses and take action—that is what
makes the difference in feeling good about themselves. Then they
are owning their power, and they feel good about their life because
they are in charge. When these folks verbalize their needs and
follow through on their own ideas, they feel exhilarated.

LEADERSHIP

Aries North Node people have had many past lives supporting
others and being followers. In this incarnation they are to lead: first
themselves, and then others—so it is healthy for the warrior within
them to emerge.
From a very early age, these folks tend to find gratification
working in unusual areas, doing jobs that others usually don’t do.
This can lead to a position where they’re doing harder work; but in
the process of becoming really good at it, they gain a lot in terms of
personal growth and development. They hesitate to enter jobs in
which they are just “another number,” regardless of material
benefits, because it’s so important to them to be an individual.
When they analyze things, they have a slightly different point of
view than most people and enjoy being “different” in every regard.
One of the primary “perks” of leadership for Aries North Node
people is that they enjoy using their individuality to benefit others.
If they are the leader, they can control the work atmosphere and set
a positive mood for those around them.
Owing to so many past incarnations being the support person for
others, these folks are born knowing how to be supportive: They’re
sensitive and know what other people need to be happy. Since we
all subconsciously project that everyone else is like us, these folks
assume that others also know about support. So when they begin to
lead, they don’t understand why others don’t support them properly.
After all, they are providing the leadership, the idea, the
environment—even the good mood!
The reason others don’t respond with support is that they don’t
have a clue about how to be good support people. Therefore, when
they are acting as leaders, Aries North Node people must
consciously focus on what they need from others to feel supported.
Rather than silently expect that others will be sensitive to their
needs, they need to communicate directly and objectively what they
want. Rather than tell others what they are doing wrong or how they
are a disappointment, Aries North Nodes must positively point the
way, which gives others the energy to rise to the occasion. In this
way, they allow others to grow and learn how to be supportive.
One of Aries North Nodes’ jobs in this lifetime is to teach other
people (primarily their partners) how to love and how to be
sensitive to the identity of another person. They are learning to
creatively teach others how to be supportive, rather than resenting
them for not knowing how. A support person has to be conscious of
the other person all the time. It takes effort, but that’s what makes
people feel supported. This is some of the knowledge that Aries
North Node people are uniquely equipped to impart. By being
themselves, they teach others how to be supportive through love
and compassion.

INTERDEPENDENCE

Aries North Node people tend to be classic “co-dependent”
types. They have a history of depending on others to fill their needs
and then feeling that people have let them down. In this incarnation
they want to develop their independent self, without closing
themselves off to the benefits of a primary relationship. To gain
success, they need to view their relationships in terms of
interdependence—whereby two people assist each other in
developing their own independent strengths, encouraging each other
in their capacity to fend for themselves. Then, complete within
themselves, they can have separate adventures appropriate to each
one’s unique identity—and two different worlds of experience to
share with each other.
A healthy relationship is one in which two people bolster each
other’s identities as separate individuals while working toward a
common goal. Rather than being caught up in the energy of the
relationship dynamic, the idea is for each to consciously remain in
his or her own power while participating with the partner.
These folks have had many past incarnations supporting others
with no thought for themselves. So they tend to discount their
instinct that tells them when they are giving beyond the point of
balance, which drains their life force. They don’t usually notice the
energy loss as long as the other person is there; but when they’re
alone, they feel drained. In this lifetime they are learning to reattune
themselves and allow their internal sense of moderation to regulate
their giving. The process of sharing energy needs to be mutually
regenerative.
After all, the supply of golden eggs one has to give others
depends on the goose being alive and healthy. In past lives, these
people gave others all their golden eggs and then started giving
away the goose! Now they are learning to keep the goose strong and
well so they can give away the golden eggs without depleting the
source.
In one-on-one relationships, avoiding co-dependence means not
seeking to “fill in” when the partner has a need, but rather to
encourage her in knowing that (1) she has plenty of talent and
energy to handle things on her own; and (2) there are others she can
work with to get support. For example, the partner may want to
have her paintings displayed in local galleries. Rather than “pitching
in” and calling the galleries, Aries North Node could suggest that
she ask a friend to help or hire someone, or get an agent. This leaves
Aries North Node free to pursue his own interests.
The transition from co-dependence to interdependence is a threestage process: (1) co-dependent stage—two people totally tuned in
to each other and compensating for each other’s weaknesses so that
the team can survive; (2) independent stage—each person being
completely self-reliant; each person taking full responsibility for his
or her own projects, money, and day-to-day survival; (3)
interdependent stage—one person, independent and self-sufficient
in his or her own right, uniting with another independent, strong
individual to form a mutually supportive relationship and work
toward shared goals.
When Aries North Node people reach the stage of personal
growth where they are ready for interdependent relationships, they
really start to shine!

HEALING THEME SONG

Music has a unique power to emotionally support us in taking
risks, so I have written a healing song for each nodal group to help
shift its energy in a positive way.

GOING THROUGH THE JUDGMENT DAY!

The message of this song is meant to encourage Aries North
Node people to shift from co-dependent tendencies toward reliance
on their own impulses—which are firmly grounded in love—to lead
them in the right direction.
Selected lyrics:
You can read all the books that ever have been written
You can ask of those around you to show you the way
You can study the mysteries, a long time hidden
But you’re the only one who can take you through the
Judgment Day!

And you can’t rely on anyone else for glory
Don’t depend on the outside to show you the way . . .
Put away the books—go beyond the brain
Trust the Light within to guide you through the pain, and
You’re the only one who could ever know
What it takes to make you whole . . .
And it’s the Light within you that’ll guide you through
the Judgment Day!

 These lyrics are set to music and sung in their entirety on
the CD and cassette tape “Unfolding As It Should.”

North Node in Taurus

and North Node in the 2nd House

OVERVIEW

Attributes to DevelopWork in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents

Loyalty

Awareness of boundaries

Taking things one step at a timeA sense of self-worth

Awareness of personal values

Patience

Honoring expressed needs of self and others

Enjoying the five physical senses

Gratitude

Awareness of nurturing from Mother Earth

Forgiveness

Persistence

Tendencies to Leave BehindWorking to reduce the influence of these tendencies canhelp make life easier and more enjoyable

Attraction to crisis situationsOverconcern with other people’s businessImpatienceInappropriate intensityJudgmental tendenciesPreoccupation with the psychologicalmotivations of othersResistance to cooperating with what others wantOverreactingDestroying something in order to eliminate onepartObsessive-compulsive tendencies

ACHILLES’ HEEL/TRAP TO AVOID/THE BOTTOM LINE

The Achilles’ heel Taurus North Node people need to be awareof is seeking self-worth through others (“I can only feel okay aboutmyself through the validation of others”), which can lead them intothe trap of an unending search for a soul mate (“If I have this onespecial person’s energy, I’ll feel complete”). In truth, Taurus NorthNode people can only achieve a sense of completeness withinthemselves—it will never come as the by-product of a relationship,even with a soul mate. No matter how much support and validationthey get from others, they always think they need more. In fact, forthem, others’ validation is a false barometer of whether they are onthe right track. Living according to standards they know are right forthem, regardless of what others think, will help them develop asense of self-worth.The bottom line is that at some point they must stop beingenmeshed with others and involved in others’ business, and simplywalk their own path instead. The irony is that when they begin to dothis, others will support them, both financially and on an energylevel.

WHAT THESE PEOPLE REALLY WANT

What these people really want is to merge with someone else’senergy and feel mutual empowerment. They are looking for total,permanent commitment. They want a partner whom they can counton to take care of all their material needs, and they will take care ofall the partner’s emotional needs (or vice versa)—a synergisticrelationship that is mutually empowering and completelydependable. To successfully establish this type of relationship, theymust be discriminating and find someone with similar energy andvalues. The shared goals must be innately valuable to each of themas individuals.For this to happen, Taurus North Node people must first get intouch with their own values. They must become strong withinthemselves, aware of what they want, and tune in to what is real andmeaningful for them. The challenge is to establish their own energysystems and figure out who they are as individuals. As their energybecomes stronger, they will automatically attract mates of similarenergy with whom they can form successful partnerships.

TALENTS/PROFESSION

These people are the master builders—whether it’s a home, arelationship, or a business. When they’re willing to follow the rules,they can successfully build anything. They excel in professions thatare in alignment with what they consider to be truly valuable. Forexample, if they consider massage to be a tool for healing othersthat could also be profitable for them, then they would be successfulin that field. They also have talents with money; focusing on waysby which they can make money on their own and be comfortablewill also lead to an appropriate profession.Any field that emphasizes appreciation of the physical aspects oflife and the five senses would be enjoyable and profitable: farming,construction, engineering, cooking, or teaching physical education.Genetally, Taurus North Nodes’ best bet is to “do their own thing”:either manage their own project or business, or work for a companywhere they can feel autonomous. They need to learn to foregoimmediate results and build one step at a time, becomingcomfortable with each step before moving on.Taurus North Node people also have the gift of being veryeffective in crisis situations, and they have a natural affinity withpsychology. Their awareness of the needs and desires of others canhelp them further their own aims. By openly acknowledging andusing the energies of others in mutually empowering (win/win)ways, Taurus North Node people can help achieve the results thatboth are seeking. However, if they involve themselves inprofessions that focus on psychology or crisis management, they aregenerally not satisfied and end up feeling empty. They are better offusing their talents to establish something of tangible value, whichgives them an increased sense of stability.

HEALING AFFIRMATIONS SPECIFIC TO TAURUS NORTH NODE

“To win, I need to proceed slowly and
persistently, step by step.”
“When I live by my own values, I feel good
about myself.”
“Mother Nature supplies me with the energy I
need.”
“When I satisfy my own needs and the expressed
needs of others, I build a stable base for
relationships.”
“If I’m comfortable, I’m ‘on path.’”
“What others think of me is none of my
business.”

PERSONALITY

PAST LIVES
MERGING WITH OTHERS

In past lives, Taurus North Node people entered inseparable,
bonded relationships with people in positions of power and
influence. They were the Queen or Courtesan behind the King and
were privy to the “inside scoop,” but in the end the decisions were
made by the other person. They were the Counselor to the Chief,
Prime Assistant to the President, or Confidant to the General. They
fed all their power, energy, and charisma to their more powerful
soul mate and in exchange received validation and appreciation
from that one person as acknowledgment of their worth.
In past lives, the person of power clothed, fed, and pampered
Taurus North Node. All Taurus North Node had to do was stay
bonded to that person and help fulfill his or her desires, and the
native would experience the finest of lifestyles. So now Taurus
North Node tends to be careless with money (as though someone
else is going to pay off his credit cards), but in this lifetime it’s not
set up to work that way! Taurus North Nodes’ past life dependence
on another person robbed them of the knowledge that they could
earn their own way with their own talents. Thus, in this incarnation
they need to assume financial responsibility for themselves as a way
to regain their self-confidence; when they are not conscious of how
they spend money, they can create disastrous debt.
Other past lifetimes relevant to this one were spent in “ill
repute”—the business of prostitution in one form or another. In
those lives, Taurus North Node people’s success was dependent on
not having their own boundaries so they could successfully merge
with another’s energy field in ways that generated more power than
either person could have done alone. They developed a sensitivity
to others’ needs, which worked very well for them in those
lifetimes. However, such intense merging with others caused Taurus
North Nodes to lose a sense of their own needs and values as a
separate entity. In this incarnation, therefore, when they merge too
closely or quickly with another person, they experience betrayal as
a warning that they should keep their own boundaries, values, and
spiritual ethics.
These folks were experts at psychology in past lives as strategists
and counselors, penetrating the psychology of others to understand
their motives and needs and predict their behavior. They were
around people who were unstable, helping them uncover their
mental or emotional dysfunction, healing them, and receiving
financial protection in return. Their psychic sensitivity enabled
them to predict the mindset of the enemy, as well as attend to the
unspoken needs and desires of their soul mate. However, in this
incarnation their attunement to others distracts them from
effectively pursuing their own direction in a solid, consistent way.
Now it is in their best interest to pull back from deep involvement
with other people and to be more focused on their own business.
Some Taurus North Node people have had past lives in which
they abused power and reacted with violence. In this incarnation
they are learning not to abuse power, and for some this may mean
being victims of abuse themselves. Lessons in this lifetime are not
easy for these folks. They can experience real extremes in life—
ranging from periods of drug or alcohol abuse, to dealing with
severe psychological problems, to sitting in boardrooms in
corporations, to being on a strict spiritual path. Their lives run the
spectrum from the depths of darkness to the highest place of light.

CRISIS CONSCIOUSNESS

Lifetimes of power struggles with others have resulted in a
consciousness that attracts crisis, trauma, and “living on the edge.”
Taurus North Node people are addicted to the adrenaline rush that
comes from crisis. In order to experience that “high” they disregard
their bodies, their health, and the peacefulness required to sustain a
state of well-being. Time after time, even when it’s unnecessary,
they take risks that throw them into a state of crisis. Then they
thrash and struggle and allow their destructive intensity to wreak
havoc in all areas of their lives. Sometimes they abuse drugs or
alcohol, which creates new crises on a daily basis. Or they may
have a partner in that situation—a person who they saw was
wounded and thought they could heal.
When confronted with an apparently inflexible situation that runs
counter to what they want to create, Taurus North Node people
often overreact with so much intensity that they create a crisis
where none existed. These overreactions are most likely to occur
when Taurus North Node people face a possible separation from a
symbiotic relationship, or feel that the other person may not be 100
percent bonded with them. Lacking a sense of their own self-worth,
they are utterly dependent on the constant approval of their
“primary other” (the person who provides money or energy)—the
dependence means survival. They keep “close tabs” on the other
person’s psyche so they can mitigate their own behavior according
to what the other person considers important. In this way, they feel
they will become indispensable and their survival will be ensured.
If they fear the other person is doing something to hurt them,
their first response is to take action based on revenge. However, if
revenge is their motive, they always lose. They need to focus on
getting their needs met by approaching people and situations in a
practical way. Then they can drop their defensiveness and say to the
other person: “Look, this is really important to me.” Rather than
resorting to power, following the humble approach will work for
them.
The idea is to stay focused on the positive results they want to
create. To take care of their needs is valid for these folks; and if
they fear being wounded or betrayed, they need to do something to
protect themselves. The problem is that they have a tendency to
overreact and blow the whole thing out of proportion.
Taurus North Node people are so passionate that their drive to
experience intense emotion sometimes blots out awareness of what
they’re doing. One of their challenges in this lifetime is to take
charge of that passionate energy and redirect it in constructive
directions. Passion pursued for its own sake and taken to its limit
results in destruction. In this incarnation they are learning to build
rather than destroy, and successful building takes more time than
the intensity to which they are accustomed.
When they are coming from fear, they destroy; when they are
coming from love, they build. They are learning to dedicate their
passion, energy, and mental power to create something worthwhile
—and when they do that, they feel great about it! They are learning
that there is more to life than a stubborn indulgence in taking risks
(financial, personal, or sexual) that lead them into crisis and destroy
their bodies. It is not necessarily what they do but their drastic
approach that wreaks havoc in their lives. They need to slow down
and recognize that by working on themselves, slowly and steadily,
they can establish the sense of grounding and substance that has
eluded them.
These folks have a tremendous need for peace after so many
lifetimes of power struggles with others. They are learning that
when they indulge in a desire to force a situation, the entire
situation will collapse. Conversely, when they add the ingredient of
peace, the situation will shift to their advantage in a way that works
to the good of all concerned.

SELF-ESTEEM

In this lifetime, Taurus North Node people are learning to
experience their own self-worth. In past incarnations they gave up
what was important to them in order to integrate their power with
another. They used validation as a barometer of whether they were
“on track” in successfully empowering the other person—and this
worked in past lives. But they became attached to receiving
validation and began doing whatever was necessary to get it,
sometimes violating their own personal morals and ethics.
Because they have extinguished their own value system, they
came into this lifetime with no sense of self-worth apart from the
feedback of others. This makes them incredibly vulnerable to
adopting the values of those around them.
Although it was correct in the past, in this incarnation it is not set
up to work when they focus on empowering their partner with the
silent expectation that the partner will take care of them financially
or validate them in some other way. In this lifetime they are
learning to build a sense of self-esteem directly, by living according
to their own value system. They need to empower others only when
it is what they want to do, it fits with their own values, and they
have no expectation of getting anything in return.

VALIDATION

Taurus North Node people have a tendency to toot their own
horns. They often jump in and use something another person says as
a springboard to focus the conversation on a past victory, a way
they have helped another, or a story illustrating how powerful they
are—then they talk incessantly! Subconsciously, what they are
seeking is validation.
During interactions with others they begin to feel insecure, so
they try to compensate by focusing attention on themselves in order
to gain outward validation. They hope that others will see their
worth and appreciate and respect them so that their insecurity will
subside. Unfortunately, it’s a “temporary fix.” They have to keep
doing it; and in reality, the habit of focusing on themselves turns
other people off. The irony is that Taurus North Nodes’ feelings of
inadequacy only arise when they begin to judge themselves or
compare themselves with others.
These folks carry a lot of anger. However, if they take a deeper
look, they will see that their anger is really based on fear: fear of not
being respected, not being liked, not being treated like a human
being. So when they feel angry in a specific situation, they can ask
themselves: “What am I afraid of?” This will help put them in touch
with a resolution.
Taurus North Node people often become frustrated and feel
robbed of self-worth when they do not get the validation they think
they deserve from others. All their fears are around the issue of:
“How am I going to be acknowledged or recognized?” They feel
afraid and angry because they’re giving and they’re not getting back
what they need. But this need can never be satisfied externally.
They can never get enough validation from others—no matter how
much wealth, prestige, and power they have—to feel good about
themselves on a deep level. The resolution to their anger involves
beginning to live in ways that are self-validating, in accord with
their own values. When they stop looking to others to provide their
sense of self-worth and start looking inside themselves, suddenly
their anger becomes productive energy.
Sometimes Taurus North Node people pursue careers that are not
really what they feel called to do, but are what they think will draw
validation from other people. They are vulnerable to pursuing
professions that others view as “lofty” so that they can get applause.
Then if they’re not feeling appreciated, it can poison their
enjoyment of their job. In such a situation, their best bet is to reflect
on what aspect of their job makes them feel good: Is the job
furthering values that they think are important? Are they using skills
that make them feel good about themselves? Are they doing an
outstanding job that gives them confidence? Are they making the
money they think their work deserves? They need to get in touch
with what they appreciate about their job and consciously validate
themselves for being “on path” with those values. This is validation
they can count on consistently—appreciating themselves for being
themselves rather than for meeting someone else’s needs.
Validation from others is “energy food” for these folks. They
always enjoy a phone call or visit from a friend because it’s an
acknowledgment of their existence. They need to establish ways of
feeding themselves energy so that they become self-contained. Then
they can interact with others because they want to, rather than out of
neediness.
One positive, self-validating action would be to set up a financial
plan for themselves. In addition, spending time each day putting
energy into things that are personally meaningful for them is selfvalidating—such as preparing good meals. The idea is to engage in
regular activities that nurture and help them feel good about
themselves, regardless of the input of others. When they do this,
they are “on track.”

BOUNDARIES

In childhood, the parents of these natives sought to impose their
values on the Taurus North Node child. This is “normal” parental
behavior, but most children simply discount parental values that are
noticeably different from the internal values they are born with.
However, Taurus North Node children have no preestablished
internal values, so they are totally open to absorbing the values of
their parents. They cannot see that they are separate from the
parents. Breaking the subconscious bond with their parents is one of
their major life challenges.
These folks are learning to express what they need and to avoid
thinking about others’ needs first. They often feel they are moving
through life reacting to other people’s situations and “falling into”
things, as opposed to consciously recognizing where they are and
where they want to go. They tend to be too focused on the
motivations of others—subconsciously seeking what they need by
first defining what the other person wants. However, they often go
off track when they do this. They may think they fully understand
another’s motivations, and take action or respond to the person on
that basis, only to find that their appraisal was incorrect.
It works best when they avoid tuning in to the desires and
opinions of others, and instead focus on their own needs: “This is
what I need. . . . These are my reasons.” To build an unshakable
sense of security and successfully reach goals, Taurus North Node
people need to keep in touch with their level of comfort and
determine their boundaries. When they are considering a goal, they
need to ask themselves: “Do I feel comfortable about this goal?
Does it feel right?” They can also use their internal sense of comfort
to determine when they are moving too quickly; if they are, they
need to slow down and continue at a pace that is comfortable for
them. When they stand firm within their own boundaries,
progressing in the development of what is truly important to them,
they will find others more willing to make adjustments to
accommodate what these folks deem important.

SELF-SABOTAGE

Taurus North Node people have a tendency to “shoot
themselves in the foot”—to do things that keep them from
experiencing success. Their goal is important to them, and they’re
pledged to it wholeheartedly. But they also feel unworthy and
subconsciously put up roadblocks so they can’t achieve the goal.
And then they keep banging against the door, knowing that it won’t
open.
The motive for defeating themselves is generally something they
are not aware of; thus, some introspection or psychological probing
is necessary for these folks. Sometimes it is self-punishment for a
real or imagined experience, or something they feel guilty about,
that pulls them back from successfully reaching the goal. For
example, when they were five years old, they may have pushed
their little brother, who hit his head and had to go to the hospital—
and subconsciously they still feel guilty.
Reaching goals involves taking tried-and-true, systematic steps
for getting there. But these natives have so much inner resistance
that they leave out the one obvious thing that would ensure their
success. If they want to go to medical school, are fully qualified,
and have good grades, they may apply to several top medical
schools but not also apply to an easier-entry medical school. Then if
they don’t get accepted at any of the top schools, they’ve blocked
their entire path.
Another way Taurus North Node people subconsciously defeat
themselves is by going too far out on a limb without a safety net.
It’s like jumping without a backup parachute or driving without a
seat belt: They take unwarranted chances. The bottom line is that
they need to rely on their own energies to reach the goals they seek.
They can hope that the promises of others will come through, but in
the end it’s up to them to ensure that all the bases are covered
regardless of what unexpected things may happen. They need to use
more than logic: They have to use common sense and strategize
their lives.
The key is a practical, step-by-step approach focusing on the next
step they need to take rather than becoming fixated on the exact
means of reaching their goal. Since they don’t have a lot of practical
past life experience, it’s fine for them to check out their strategies
with others who have successfully created results similar to what
they want.
These folks sometimes want to be “more” than they are (they like
to impress other people), and this can lead to problems. They are
learning that they are okay just as they are. The self-sabotage comes
from wanting to move too fast or to be “bigger” than they are at the
moment. They need to stay with themselves, grounded in their
bodies.

MAKING JUDGMENTS

Taurus North Node people are largely unaware of the serious
damage they do to others when they make harsh judgments.
Without regard for the other’s feelings, they thoughtlessly rip to
shreds another’s belief system with a great deal of righteous
enthusiasm. They hold nothing sacred and therefore have no qualms
about destroying what may be sacred to another.
Needless to say, being judgmental does not win them any friends.
In fact, it alienates them from those who would otherwise want to
be close. People don’t trust them because they fear being judged.
These folks are learning to stop destroying what others have built,
and instead focus on building what is important and valuable to
themselves. The best way to fight “evil” is for them to make
energetic progress for “good.”
In fact, the things that upset them about others’ behavior can be a
clue to finding their own values. For example, if they are criticizing
another for having two sexual relationships simultaneously, perhaps
it is a clue that they themselves value monogamy—and
“monogamy” should be written on their “Values Important to Me”
list. As they begin to live by those values, they will start to build a
sense of self-worth. As they remain consistently true to their own
values, they will become less judgmental about others who have
different values.
Taurus North Node people also tend to be highly judgmental of
themselves and undermine their own self-worth. They have a code
of correct conduct against which they measure everyone—and most
harshly themselves. They can be their own worst enemy. When
things don’t work out in the way they expect, they blame
themselves for being out of alignment. Therefore they suffer twice:
once with the momentary bad mood, and again by casting
themselves as wrong for having had the bad mood.
They often compare themselves to other people and feel jealous
of what others have—this makes their lives much more complicated
and much less happy! For any of us, if what we are doing in our
lives is making us happy, then we’re on track. But the moment we
compare ourselves to others, we lose. Someone is always higher or
lower, depending on the standards we use. Taurus North Nodes are
learning that it’s not their job to judge; it’s their job to simply walk
through life handling each situation the best they can and moving
step by step in the direction they feel is personally meaningful.

MINDING ONE’S BUSINESS

Because they are often unclear about their own boundaries,
Taurus North Node people have a tendency to meddle. These folks
feel free to get involved in other people’s business but are shocked
when others get involved in their affairs—and they can be terribly
opinionated! When they speculate on the subconscious motivations
of another, they form all kinds of conclusions about the other
person. Then they become upset because they’ve decided what the
other person ought to be doing, and he’s not doing it.
The problem is that these folks are projecting their own values
onto others and then judging them when they don’t measure up. The
other person’s goals may be totally different, and the path she is
traveling may be exactly correct for her. For example, if the Taurus
North Node person wants marriage and commitment, she may be
extremely judgmental about a friend who enjoys dating men who
are not “marriage material.” However, the friend may not want to
settle down at this point in her life, so dating men with whom she
has nice, short-term relationships may be correct for her. Taurus
North Nodes must have the humility to understand that others may
have different values and goals. They need to stay out of other
people’s business and focus on their own self-development.
Taurus North Node people also tend to inadvertently
communicate their ideas in an intense and judgmental way that
causes discomfort for those around them. They are pointing out
others’ dysfunctions without admitting that they have that same
tendency. Because they have not yet “owned” these qualities in
themselves, they are unable to make comments without heavy
emotional overtones. The key is to recognize that trait or behavior
in themselves and forgive themselves for it—then they won’t have
to justify themselves by trying to define Right Action for others.
As their personal conduct becomes grounded through
exemplifying the qualities they value, they will feel at peace. They
will no longer be tempted to be judgmental when they see qualities
they don’t admire in others, because they will have gained the
knowledge they need: They will know who they are and what they
stand for.
Another aspect of Taurus North Nodes’ tendency to get involved
in others’ business comes from past lives as mental healers
(psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, witch doctors) specializing
in exploring the depths of another’s subconscious. However, in this
lifetime it is in their best interests to separate themselves from the
energy fields of other people’s minds and focus on their own
business instead.
These folks are very sensitive to the judgments of others, and if
someone affects their energy field in a negative way, it’s okay for
them not to spend a lot of time around that person. In past lives,
they developed attunement so they could be as close with the other
person as possible. They became very aware of how that person
viewed them so they could adjust their behavior instantly to better
accommodate the unit. However, in this incarnation, using their
sensitivity to pick up on how others may be viewing them will
disconnect them from the power of just being themselves. Their job
is to stay out of other people’s minds and business. A good
affirmation for them is: “What others think of me is none of my
business!”

THE DARK SIDE

Sometimes Taurus North Node people are drawn into positions
of great influence. They become attorneys in high-powered law
firms, executives in large corporations, and so on. Holding these
positions sometimes triggers an unscrupulous side of their nature.
When that aspect emerges, they are not loyal to their employees,
their own ethics, or themselves—they become attached to ego gain.
When they opt for full ego involvement they are willing to do
anything to get ahead, and they begin to think they are “selling their
souls” to progress in the world of money and power. Often they
“sell out” by allowing other people to give them things with strings
attached. Pretty soon they’re going along with someone else’s
game, living according to others’ values.
These folks are so accustomed to giving their power to others that
when temptations arise in this incarnation, it’s easy for them to yield
in order to gain power and special privileges. And they have a lot of
power in that position: They hire, they fire, they can make or break
people. This inflates the ego. They may abuse that power by letting
employees “sweat it out,” worrying about whether or not they still
have a job. However, these tactics lead to a breakdown of employee
morale, and Taurus North Nodes lose the goodwill, trust, and
loyalty of the workers.
They are learning to resist temptations to abuse power. After all,
“what goes around, comes around”; when they abuse power, it
always comes back to haunt them. They are learning that they
cannot go against their own values without severely undermining
their self-worth. And that’s pretty serious, because self-esteem is
what Taurus North Node people are aiming for in this lifetime.
Even when these folks have chosen the path of Light, they are
aware of their “dark side.” For example, I had a Taurus North Node
client who worked as a waitress. Her Higher Self was very aware
that the most difficult customers are those who need love the most.
When she consciously gave them love and positive energy, in most
cases they became more agreeable. But she would go back to the
kitchen and pantomime punching somebody! That action was her
past life tendencies being released. She would then go back to the
customer and come from the loving place she knew was “correct.”
But sometimes these natives’ instinctive response is to let their pastlife side “beat the heck” out of someone.
Taurus North Node people sometimes live on the dark side,
suspecting others’ motives and projecting evil (looking for it) on
those around them. They will learn much about themselves by
viewing the evil they see in others as a reflection of their own
subconscious. Also, when they look for evil they become vulnerable
to negative energy that holds them back. To avoid being victimized
by this tendency, their best bet is to stop focusing on the “dark side”
in others and pay attention to the strength they are building in their
own lives. They need to be like a horse with blinders, focusing on
the positive things they want to manifest. As they use their powerful
psyches to focus on the Light, they will attract positive forces.

NEEDS

ESTABLISHING A COMFORT ZONE

The reason Taurus North Node people become so dependent on
another person is because they have moved out of their own internal
sense of comfort. Then they have nothing to hold on to except their
connection with the other person—a vulnerable and unstable
position at best. If they consciously stay in touch with their own
comfort level, their relationships work much better because they
have created something solid and stable within themselves. They’ve
been through so many radical changes in past lives that in this
incarnation they are scheduled to rest, accumulate possessions, and
enjoy the simple pleasures of life: good food, good sex, and a
comfortable, stable home environment. An inner feeling of
“comfort” is an accurate barometer of being on path. They will win
if they remain true to the boundaries of their own comfort zones.

WANTS VERSUS NEEDS

From time to time, jealousy arises as an issue for Taurus North
Node people. They see others’ possessions and covet them. These
folks often have an endless chain of “wants” based on longing for
others’ possessions. They see a neighbor’s new car and right away a
mechanism inside says: “I want that.” But when their wanting is
based on insecurity, it never works out for them—it’s a bottomless
pit. To gain the sense of substance they seek, their best bet is to turn
their focus away from what they don’t have and begin appreciating
the bounty of what they already have.
This is a lifetime of material accumulation for Taurus North
Nodes, so desiring things is not a mistake. However, they have to be
willing to earn the things they want through their own efforts. When
jealousy arises, they can use it to identify whether or not it’s
triggered by something they actually need; then they can decide
whether it’s worth striving for. Rather than be victimized by
“wanting,” they are learning they can have whatever they want if
they are willing to earn it.
Taurus North Node people have a tendency to be distracted by
others’ wants and motives. Underneath, their issues around survival
motivate their concern with others. They need to simplify things: to
stop “getting into other people’s minds” and just get in touch with
themselves. “What do I need here? What do I need in order to feel
comfortable with this situation?”
What these folks really want is for their insecurity to be resolved
—to know that all their needs will be met. This is a lifetime of
appreciating the bounty the universe is offering, not grabbing what
others have. If they panic and try to speed up receiving bounty in
their lives, they lose touch with the comfort of their natural timing.
Taurus North Node people are destined to accumulate that which
increases their inner sense of substance. Their challenge is to slow
down long enough to receive the gifts that life offers. By taking the
emphasis off of specific people as their “source,” and by partnering
directly with life itself, their insecurities over survival can finally be
healed. They will find that life sends the right people—who often
show up unexpectedly—to ease their journey as every new need
arises.

TIMING AND VALUE

Taurus North Node people are “in a hurry” about everything.
Even when they are taking a drive, instead of enjoying the scenery
they just want to get there, and they wonder why it’s taking so long.
These folks want instant results. They are incredibly intense and ate
learning to rein themselves in, remain within their comfort zone,
and stay connected to their own strength.
These folks are learning to build slowly so that their foundations
are secure. It’s tough for them to go slowly because they are not
accustomed to it; however, in this lifetime they are destined to
replace fast intensity with slow and steady progress.
To give an example of the transition required of them, when a
skyscraper needs to be replaced, there are two teams of people
involved. One team destroys and removes the existing skyscraper
with dynamite, crane, and bulldozers. They may take only a week,
but the process of rebuilding the new skyscraper may take a year. In
past lives, Taurus North Node people were on the team of
destroyers—but now they are here to build. Building takes much
mote time, and no stages may be hurried or skipped or the entire
structure will collapse!
These folks are learning to slow down and carefully build what is
important to them—without rushing: a relationship, a business, or
manifesting a dream. If they feel uncomfortable, it is a warning that
they have missed a necessary step in the building process. They are
learning to trust themselves and to appreciate the peaceful feeling
they gain from slow and steady progress, accomplished on their
own.
Although they need to go slowly to create successful results,
Taurus North Node people also require a certain amount of
stimulation to get themselves going. In a crisis they are motivated to
action, and not having that crisis energy can keep them from
progressing with their projects. When there’s no crisis surrounding
their goals, one thing that could help them is to establish time limits
for themselves.
Time limits can act as an “artificial crisis.” Taurus North Node
people can look at the steps they need to take and write them down.
For best results, the process should be in black and white: what the
goal is, what the steps are, and the completion date for each step.
This gives them built-in “crisis energy.”
These folks need to make their plan a top priority: Reaching that
one goal has to become the most important thing in their lives, and
everything else needs to be subject to that consideration. For
example, if they want to lose 30 pounds, they need to make that the
most important thing—their “first value”—for a predetermined
time. Everything else takes a backseat: job, recreation, everything.
At work, their diet comes first; regardless of what others are doing,
they eat precisely what is on their diet because that is their first
value. If they feel low energy in the afternoon, they have a cup of
coffee or take a Chinese herb—anything except break the diet. If
they are tired, they go to bed early—but they do not break their
commitment to the diet. Everything revolves around that.
It’s important for Taurus North Node people to be realistic and
choose practical times for attaining their “first value” goal. For
example, if a Taurus North Node works in an accounting firm, it
would be a mistake to make losing 30 pounds his first value during
tax time. His job will probably be first value, and rightly so, during
that time. So he needs to choose a time for reaching this goal that
will not be unusually stressful. Once Taurus North Node people are
committed to a direction, they can use their obsessive energies from
past lives to fixate on their first value, and then they’ll get there on
schedule no matter what!

SELF-ACCEPTANCE
HONORING NEEDS

The first step toward self-acceptance for Taurus North Node
people is to acknowledge that there is a needy person inside and to
take personal responsibility for filling those needs. If they try to
appear self-sufficient and suppress that needy part, it will come out
full-blown to make itself recognized. They have denied and
postponed their own needs in so many incarnations that now the
needy part is overenergized. And that is to their advantage—they
have earned the right to embrace and encompass that part of
themselves.
They cannot hope to experience truth and honesty in human
relationships if they do not demonstrate this behavior in their own
lives. This includes no more “sins of omission” (for example, letting
what someone says pass by without acknowledging feelings of hurt,
or pretending to be in agreement). These folks must start
communicating their discomfort or hurt with what another has said
or done. To discern and build healthy new patterns of behavior, they
must release the old. Self-revelation will enable others to see who
they really are, discern their needs, and help them further their aims.
Taurus North Node people are tuned in to the hidden desires of
others. They are often very perceptive in helping others become
more self-aware and less victimized by self-defeating, subconscious
motivations. But these folks have a blind spot: They can see clearly
how others “shoot themselves in the foot,” but they can’t see how
they themselves do it. Worse, they strongly resist feedback about
their own subconscious motivations. It can be vividly clear to those
who care about them that they are hurting themselves or holding
themselves back. But when the behavior is brought to their
attention, they tend to go into denial. To progress in this lifetime,
they must bring into awareness—and release—subconscious guilt
and self-defeating behaviors.
Part of their resistance to help stems from the fact that they ate
accustomed to being the ones doing the helping. These folks are not
used to accepting that others have power to recognize and help
perfect what is valuable in them. They are also so sensitive to
criticism that they often interpret the input of others as invalidating
their worth, rather than as encouraging their fuller self-expression.
The key is to focus on what they want to build: their own ideas and
aims. Taurus North Nodes’ job is to allow others to empower them
for a change.
A major turning point is when they focus time and energy on
projects that are important to themselves, not being diverted by what
they think is important to another person. For example, I had a
Taurus North Node client who loved to buy people books in their
area of interest. It was a very generous act, and she went out of her
way to find just the right book with a message she thought would be
valuable. One person she sent books to was a friend of mine who
doesn’t even read! This is an example of how these folks divert
energy from pursuing their own goals for the sake of others who
haven’t asked for their help and may not appreciate it.
In this incarnation, Taurus North Node people are here to take
back their power. When they stand in their power they can afford to
be loving and helpful to others—not from a place of neediness but
from a sense of contentment that enables them to be generous.
Thus, their first responsibility is to themselves: to do things that
bring recognition of their self-worth and the contentment of
enjoying life. There are no more battles to fight, nothing more to
give up, no part of themselves that has to be thrown away. This is a
building lifetime: building a sense of comfort through their
connection with themselves.

FORGIVENESS

In order to achieve full self-acceptance, these folks must release
those who wounded them in the past through the process of
forgiveness. This includes people in the present lifetime, as well as
any feelings of suspicion and outrage that stem from past
incarnations. Forgiveness is essential to keeping their own power
intact. And their best motive for forgiveness is not generosity, but
rather taking care of their own needs.
In past lives, Taurus North Nodes’ method of protecting
themselves was revenge: If someone hurled one stone at them, they
hurled a stone back—plus an additional stone to make sure that the
person stopped. To stand up to the power of others was enlivening
in those incarnations, but in this lifetime it is a waste of energy—a
distraction from their new, peaceful direction. They just want to
build lives of comfort and stability and enjoy being on the earth.
To achieve this, however, Taurus North Node people need to face
the necessity of forgiveness when dealing with abuse or wounding
—it’s the only way they can cleanse the other person from their
psychic field and regain inner peace. Regardless of what the other
person did to them, they need to forgive the abuse and forgive
themselves for allowing the abuse to occur. It also helps if they
identify the strength they gained from the experience.
If someone has wronged them beyond the point of forgiveness,
they may need to confront the person before they can release the
situation. One way to accomplish this is for Taurus North Node to
go where he won’t be disturbed, close his eyes, and imagine the
person he is unable to forgive sitting in a chair, facing him. Through
visualization, he can confront that person and let her know how he
feels. Then he needs to listen intuitively for a response from the
other person.
If in his mind the person responds with sincere apologies, Taurus
North Node can forgive. However, if the person responds with
arrogance or justification—or obviously is still not aware of the
gravity of the injustice—vindication may be in order. In his
imagination, Taurus North Node can take the perpetrator through
the experience of abuse and allow her to experience the pain that
she caused him. Then he will be able to forgive and release her from
his life.
Forgiveness is essential for these folks; it is the key to their
release from painful early memories. If they are angry with
someone and haven’t forgiven him or her, it binds them into a
negative psychic connection with the other person.
One reason they withhold forgiveness is fear. If they forgive the
other person, they don’t know what that person may do to them, and
they’re afraid they will no longer be shielded from attack by their
angry memories. They think they might be vulnerable again to
someone who has abused them. But actually, if they truly forgive,
they break the bond with that person. Then, whatever the other
does, Taurus North Node is totally invulnerable.

GROUNDING

Taurus North Node people have spent so many incarnations
enmeshed in the bonded energy fields between themselves and
others that they have lost touch with their sense of physical
grounding: being in touch with their bodies and enjoying the
physical aspects of life. In past lives they wanted to experience
higher realms—to “fly”—so they took one foot off the ground to
experience other realities; and then they took both feet off the
ground! Thus, in this incarnation they have no sense of grounding
or inner stability. Their challenge is to get their feet back on the
ground and regain a sense of their own inner strength.

APPRECIATION

One of the main keys for satisfaction in this lifetime is for these
folks to consciously evoke the feeling of appreciation. This practice
alone will make a significant difference in their lives. In past lives,
taking time to feel appreciation was the last thing on their minds.
Their consciousness was geared to crisis management, and they had
an addiction to excitement. Their desire was never satisfied, always
wanting more. To balance overactive desire in this incarnation they
need to exercise the antidote, which is appreciation for what they
already have.
Part of cultivating the energy of appreciation involves
acknowledging the bounty that is already present in their lives. As
they feel gratitude for what life has already brought them, they relax
and feel peaceful and loved. The energy of appreciation pulls them
back into themselves, and when they are centered in this way they
open to life bringing them more.
For example, no matter how much or how little money they have,
Taurus North Node people can say: “Thank you, Universe, for
providing enough money so that I can afford [whatever they do
have: a roof over their head, food on the table, etc.].” If they don’t
have a partner, they can say: “Thank you, Universe, for the friends,
family, co-workers, children, pets, etc., you have sent into my life to
love me.” This is the key to the fullness they have been seeking. It
has nothing to do with what is happening externally; it has to do
with graciousness in accepting and appreciating what they have. As
they take the time to appreciate what they do have—with openness
and feeling—they begin to experience the fullness of love inside
them, which replaces the agitation they have so often felt.

CONNECTION WITH NATURE

Everyone needs to receive nurturing energy in order to feel
renewed and satisfied. In past lives, Taurus North Node people
became dependent on soul mate relationships to provide that
nurturing. In this lifetime, whenever they depend on others to fill
these needs, they feel let down. It’s set up this way, because their
lesson is to become independent in meeting their own needs.
In this incarnation, these folks have a magical relationship with
Mother Nature and with the earth, and that is where much of their
nurturing is destined to come from. Their attunement to Mother
Nature empowers them to connect directly with her energy and
absorb it in a healing and reenergizing way. For peace of mind and
inner strength, Taurus North Node people need to spend time in
nature on a regular basis, consciously appreciating the support
Mother Earth is giving them. This process will magically shift their
basic emotional state to one of serenity. Situations with others that
evoke insecurity will occur less frequently when these folks are
consistently reinforcing a base of calm support inside themselves.
Some of these folks have a green thumb, and they may find
working with plants or spending time gardening soothing. It is in
their best interests to fully absorb the energy from Mother Nature—
to touch a plant or tree and let the earth nurture them. Hugging a
tree can evoke the same energy and happiness for them as hugging a
person. Hugging a person is also good (sensual affection is always
beneficial for them), but if they feel any reservation about whom to
hug or what their motives are, a tree will always provide the
“connectedness” they need.
Their ability to receive energy from nature is a gift they can share
with others. For example, if they’re walking in the park with a
friend and share their knowledge of “tree energy,” the friend will be
more aware of the gift of nature’s energy while in the presence of
the Taurus North Node person and will be permanently enriched by
the experience.

SENSUAL ENJOYMENT

To keep themselves focused on furthering their aims requires
facing the issue of self-worth. These folks may feel unworthy
spending time and energy on themselves; however, such feelings are
totally off track. Taurus North Node must spend time doing things
that they consider to be important, as this will build the resources
they need to experience life and relationships from a foundation of
self-sufficiency.
The fact is that for spiritual balance, their destiny in this
incarnation is to experience the sensual enjoyments of life, to
become grounded, and to regain a sense of their own earthy
substance. In past lives, Taurus North Node people developed a
deep enjoyment of the spiritual/psychic senses. Now it’s time to
develop a deeper awareness of the five physical senses. In this
incarnation, their senses are generally quite sensitive and well
developed. The idea is to pay attention to the pleasure their physical
senses offer them: the smell of springtime, the taste of a good meal,
a perfume they enjoy, or the touch of their lover. Even lifting
weights or other physical exercise can be sensual—anything that
gets them in touch with their bodies in a way that results in pleasure
and/or self-esteem.
Music is an excellent source of enjoyment for these folks that
eases their mental frequencies into harmonious patterns; they may
benefit by having music playing regularly in the background. They
are attuned to the sounds of nature—waves crashing on the beach
and birds singing. To enjoy their sense of hearing is altogether “on
path” for them. They also gain pleasure from their sense of sight—
noticing beauty around them, appreciating artistic creations, or
taking time to enjoy a sunset.
Taurus North Node people generally have well-developed taste
buds; fully enjoying the pleasure of a good meal and going to posh
restaurants are totally “on path.” To become aware of their sense of
touch is also beneficial. Taking the time to touch a tree, a leaf, a
piece of wood, or fabric—and to experience physical comfort—is
altogether appropriate. Even being aware of the sensation of snow
crunching under their feet can be a sensual pleasure.
Another way to enhance their sense of grounding is to become
more conscious of their clothing in terms of how it feels on their
bodies. Does it feel sensual or comforting? Do they like the touch of
that fabric? These are the clothes they should put on their bodies in
order to take care of and pamper themselves. Clothing can also be a
powerful vehicle for establishing self-worth. For an important
appointment, if the choice is between an outfit in which they are
comfortable and confident versus an outfit they think will impress
the other person, their best bet is to wear the clothing in which they
feel comfortable. That way, regardless of the other person’s
response, they feel comfortable within themselves.
Other sensual experiences that are “good karma” for these folks
include giving or receiving a massage or being pampered with a
manicure, facial, body wrap, sauna, or Jacuzzi. When they spend
time giving themselves physical rewards and sensual pleasure, they
won’t need as much from others.

RELATIONSHIPS

SEARCH FOR THE SOUL MATE

Taurus North Node people are born looking for their soul mates.
This can lead to promiscuity during their youth, with a tendency to
jump into relationships too quickly because they want the bonding
so intensely. Their challenge in this lifetime is to focus less on
bonding and more on building their own values—then they will
attract the right mate.
From past lives, these folks are accustomed to giving everything
and having the other person reciprocate. But in this incarnation,
much to the natives’ surprise, it’s not in their charts for others to
take care of them in the same co-dependent way. This is the
universe’s way of helping them break abusive co-dependency and
learn to be more self-contained. Deep in their hearts, more than
anything in the world, they want a soul mate—that special person to
travel with through life in a state of mutual vulnerability,
commitment, and empowerment. To have this dream come true,
they need to first experience being complete within themselves.
When they no longer need another person to make them feel whole,
only then will they attract the right life partner.
Taurus North Node people feel acutely lonely sometimes, aching
for their mate. They long for the comfort of consistent, dependable
companionship, and this is a lifetime where loyal companionship is
their birthright. But as with everything else in this incarnation, they
must earn it. As they work to experience their own wholeness and
direction and become a powerful river in their own right, they can
merge with another powerful river that is going in the same
direction, and together they can flow to the sea.

INVASIVE MANEUVERS

Yearning for the soul mate causes Taurus North Node people to
probe the psychology of others. In past lives this technique worked
for them: Their understanding of another’s psychological makeup
facilitated a bond of mutual empowerment. However, they became
so accustomed to stepping into other people’s psyches that they lost
touch with their own boundaries! Now, when they enter another
person’s force field they go too far and become invasive—and both
people begin to lose their sense of autonomy. Also, the other person
can sense that Taurus North Node wants the bonding energy, rather
than simply appreciating and empowering the other as a person in
his or her own right.
These folks think everyone wants the same emotional things they
do: love, acknowledgment, appreciation. So they give others this
emotional support and encouragement. But if they rush in and try to
change another’s mood, sometimes they are surprised when that
person responds with anger because he feels his boundaries have
been invaded.
Also, Taurus North Nodes often inadvertently become too
enmeshed in another person’s force field and begin to feel
uncomfortable. If they get too absorbed in another’s moods it
dissipates their own energy. When this happens, their best bet is to
excuse themselves and take a break to get grounded—walk around
the block, or touch a tree and allow nature’s nurturing energy to
pour into them. Then, when they feel calm, confident, and centered
in their own energy, they can again approach the person or situation
and know what to do.
In this lifetime, Taurus North Node people need to be able to
maintain their own psychic energy field as a separate entity before
they attempt to bond with another. When they do bond, they need to
create “space” in their relationships. They tend to do anything in
front of their partner that they would do in private, which isn’t
necessarily a good idea because the partner may begin to feel like a
part of them rather than a separate individual. Establishing
boundaries that support their individuality and self-worth is
essential in creating the space Taurus North Node people need for
their relationships—and themselves—to thrive. Being
unaccustomed to boundaries, at first they have difficulty
recognizing other people’s boundaries and establishing their own.
Yet if they stay calm, they will gain the awareness to define their
own so that their lives can be strong and they can have a greater
sensitivity to the boundaries of others. Healthy boundaries promote
self-respect and respect for others.

ABUSE

In Taurus North Nodes’ previous incarnations, abuse was a
factor—both giving and receiving—owing to the power struggles
that resulted when bonded relationships became too consuming.
One of their primary challenges in this lifetime is to separate their
identity from that of their parents. They have to establish
boundaries for themselves in order to break this bond, otherwise it
continues to create a power struggle.
These folks are learning not to abuse power; sometimes they
learn this lesson by being victims of abuse themselves. By being
victims in early life, they have a choice: They can abuse others
when they become adults, or they can break the pattern and not
retaliate for the abuse they have received. They are learning about
love and forgiveness; those lessons may follow on the heels of
having been wounded unfairly themselves.
Sometimes Taurus North Node people are in denial about their
difficult childhoods, even when the abuse was blatantly apparent to
others. They tend to portray their parents as good and see
themselves as having evoked abuse as rightful punishment for being
“bad.” They are all too willing to carry guilt. I had a Taurus North
Node client with two children whose parents had severely abused
her during her childhood: sexually, physically, and emotionally. Yet
she thought they had been good parents. This woman eventually
sought psychiatric care, and one day the doctor asked her: “What
would your children have to do in order for you to feel they
deserved the punishments you received as a child?” This stopped
her dead in her tracks, as she realized there was nothing her children
could ever do that would justify being treated in that way.
When Taurus North Nodes experience abuse as adults, they have
to first acknowledge that it’s happening. Then they need to extricate
themselves from the situation and break the psychological bond
through forgiveness. Often they do very well with psychotherapy or
some other form of intervention that enables them to uncover and
release past-life and early childhood memories of abuse and
feelings of guilt. Their tendency to perceive themselves as
intrinsically “bad” and disliked by others is actually their
oversensitive probing to evoke validation from others. When these
folks stop seeking validation, they will no longer be so vulnerable to
feeling disliked. Sometimes the people who have abused them do
shun them, and the reason is understandable: When one has abused
another, there’s a lot of guilt involved.
Taurus North Node people are the master builders. When they
focus on building a relationship and do it their way, in tune with
their own level of comfort, it will last forever. Their challenge is to
not allow other people’s energy to disturb their sense of what’s
comfortable—it’s not to their advantage to allow themselves to get
“knocked around” in any way.

DISCRIMINATION

Because they were not born knowing what is important to them
in life, Taurus North Node people tend to investigate others’ values.
But this never works because when others share what is important
to them, Taurus North Nodes say to themselves: “That’s not
important because of _____,” and the other person feels invalidated.
Not only do Taurus North Nodes lose out on what they are seeking,
but the process throws the other person off track in pursuing his
values, and he often ends up feeling upset.
Taurus North Node people have spent so many incarnations being
subject to the value systems of others that they sometimes hide what
they want if they think it’s not socially acceptable or not okay with
those close to them. But in this incarnation in order to build a sense
of self-worth they need to discriminate between others’ values and
their own and honor what they want. Only when they go after what
they really want do they feel good about themselves. For example,
if making lots of money is important to them, their tendency is to
allow the values of others to invalidate them: “Oh—that’s so
materialistic, and you’re a spiritual person.” Then they feel badly
and try to suppress that desire in themselves. This is typical of how
they undermine their own self-worth.
However, if these folks try to suppress their desire for wealth
because of someone else’s disapproval, they will end up with
money problems. If they try to solve their money problems,
something will work against them—because they feel guilty about
financial success. Then they will be “stuck,” not knowing why they
can’t get that aspect of their life together, and feeling badly about
themselves. Thus, if they desire wealth, their best bet is to openly
pursue it.
Discrimination is also an issue in that Taurus North Node people
attract “troubled” types as candidates for close relationships.
Perhaps owing to past lives of working with emotionally disturbed
people, or their attraction to “living on the edge,” Taurus North
Nodes tend to be drawn to people who are poor risks for closeness.
When they bond with and put their trust in one of these people, they
always end up being disappointed.
These folks are aware; they know when they are dealing with
someone who is so troubled that she doesn’t have the ability to give
anything back, but they are attracted nonetheless. They think they
can help heal the other person, and then they expect the other
person to be grateful and offer reciprocal support. But this equals
“how to lose” for Taurus North Node people! Their job is to
discriminate and form relationships with those who are already
psychologically healthy.
One way they get involved with the wrong people is when they
seek to gain validation from others by taking on their values. For
instance, even if they don’t take drugs, they may talk about them
and put up a front if they think it will make them look good. This
confuses both themselves and others: They repel those who would
normally be attracted to them, and they attract those who have the
same values they are espousing. If they get in touch with what is
really important to them and clearly represent those values, then
they will attract people who truly resonate with them.
In this incarnation Taurus North Node people need stability, not
crisis. To achieve this in the context of relationships, they must not
let their partner invalidate them. If the partner says something that
they are not comfortable with, they can let her know: “I’m not
comfortable with that.” In this way, they make the other person
aware of their boundaries, giving the partner an opportunity to
accommodate them and come into alignment with what they need.
As the relationship evolves, it will become apparent whether or not
this person is an appropriate partner.

BONDING

Taurus North Node people love the energy of bonding with
another person to accomplish far more than either one could do
alone. This process, in itself, is fine. The problem is that Taurus
North Node “got stuck” on one end of the teeter-totter being
person?—the one who notices the worth of person A and helps
person A reach his or her goals.
This no longer works. It’s time for Taurus North Node to be
person A—the one who allows person? to be attracted and help
person A reach his or her goals. Taurus North Node people are not
selfish. When others empower them in manifesting their dreams,
they make sure the others are taken care of. But to achieve
successful bonded partnerships, Taurus North Node people need to
be the ones that others support! This means clarifying their values
and goals and allowing others to rally around them.
Because these folks are so accustomed to shared energies and
mutual empowerment being the key to their survival,
subconsciously they think they need another person’s energy in
order to live. This is why they often make poor choices in their
early relationships—they rush into highly charged bondings and
consummate them as soon as possible—their desperation blots out
their ability to accurately appraise the other person.
These folks aren’t standing on solid ground when they are caught
up in the intense energy early in a relationship. When they allow
that to happen, they become vulnerable in a way that requires total
trust. Then, if the other person pressures them for a decision, they
are tempted to commit to the relationship too quickly. However,
doing things quickly does not work for them; in this lifetime they
have to take the slow and steady approach to ensure positive results.
Relationships they just “plunge into” are almost predestined for
failure because their basis is a temporary energy connection, rather
than a true fit with the other person. Furthermore, if Taurus North
Nodes go too fast, the relations between themselves and the other
person that could fit (if given time for slight adjustments) don’t fit
because the partners have skipped the necessary stages of gentle
adaptation.
To achieve successful long-term relationships, Taurus North
Node people need to first recognize that their energy is enough—
they can live off their own energy. As long as they feel incomplete
they will continue to attract people who also have low self-esteem.
But without untamed neediness driving them, they can take their
time in discovering whose energy will actually increase them and
bring them joy!

SEXUALITY

Taurus North Node people are generally highly sexual. They
seek the intensity and excitement of sex and the bonding that is
possible through a sexual connection. Early in life, they may be
promiscuous. If they feel a connection with a person, right away
they want to get in bed to start the bonding process. Then the
relationship ends as quickly as it begins because there wasn’t a
stable base to support the passion.
These folks spend much of their lives looking for a soul mate—
that one “piece of the puzzle” that goes together perfectly with their
“piece.” When they are impatient and become sexually involved at
the onset of a relationship, without allowing time for a connection
to be established, it’s because they want a soul mate so badly and
think sex will tell them who that person is. The irony is that if they
take their time, the sexual energy will be much more intense and
satisfying because they have established a meaningful base for the
relationship.
However, they have had so much past life experience merging
with people mentally and emotionally that they often leave the
aspect of enjoying their bodies out of the sexual process. They can
“burn out” sexually in relationships and not understand why. In this
lifetime, it is scheduled for them to pull back from the energy fields
of others and establish a sense of “home base” inside their own
bodies; this is their key to a happy sex life. They need to
deliberately take their time in relationships, not rushing the sexual
aspect until they have fully developed a sensual connection with the
other person.
Taurus North Node people need lots of physical affection:
kissing, hand holding, touching, massaging—really tuning in to
how the other person’s hands feel on their skin and how their
nervous system responds to the other person, strictly on a bodily
level (without the aid of their imaginations). Then they need to see
how the other person’s body feels to them and if they feel a physical
response in the other’s body when they touch. Building this bodyto-body sensitivity will bring their full sensuality into play and will
provide a stable base for their sexuality. If Taurus North Node’s
body does not resonate with the other person, that is important
knowledge: He will not want to pursue a romantic relationship that
has no lasting substance on the physical level.
Over time, Taurus North Node people may begin to have sexual
problems with their long-term partner. When this occurs, it is
generally because they are using sex to barter for something else.
For example, if a Taurus North Node woman wants flowers or
jewelry, she may use sex as a way of manipulating her partner so he
will buy her those things. If a man wants certain behavior from his
mate, he may withhold sex or use sex as barter to get what he wants.
In this way the sexual urge becomes diluted by other motives,
and over time the sexual part of their union becomes less intimate.
The other person feels the attempt to control through sex and begins
to lose interest. As a result, relationships that were once highly
passionate may end up as platonic friendships, or cause a feeling of
impotence or frigidity. By seeking to mentally manipulate their sex
drive, Taurus North Node people lose touch with their own natural
potency.
In this incarnation, these folks are learning to appreciate the gift
of sharing sexual pleasure with their partner, without any other
motive. They are learning the value of the simple, natural pleasures
of life: food, sex, being comfortable—enjoyment of the physical
pleasures that are the gifts of having a human body.

LOYALTY

Loyalty and commitment are very important to Taurus North
Node people. They do not generally “play around”; they want
someone to go through life with, a partner who feels the same way.
They want to feel fulfilled, so when they marry they tune in to their
mate psychically and begin feeding him or her power, validation,
and energy—expecting that their mate will reciprocate. This doesn’t
work because Taurus North Node doesn’t first discern what his
partner’s needs actually are, from the partner’s point of view.
Instead of tuning in to his partner’s needs, he projects his own
values onto his mate. He projects what he thinks she wants and
needs—and then he fulfills those needs—but his partner’s actual
needs and desires are seldom even recognized.
For Taurus North Node people, solid relationships are based on
each person taking responsibility for filling his or her own needs
and gaining energy from activities outside of the relationship. Then
a healthy bonding can take place that is based on mutual strength,
giving energy rather than draining it from one another.
They are learning that loyalty between two people in a
relationship is based on both people being loyal to themselves. They
need to establish a bond of loyalty to self before they can expect to
be loyal to another in a healthy way. For example, loyalty to self
implies honestly communicating: “I don’t feel comfortable with
this” rather than invalidating personal needs to adapt to the partner.
It implies taking a position of integrity—based on an inner feeling
of what is correct—and standing in that one place, rather than
standing in different places depending on where the most validation
seems likely.
Through living by their own values, these folks allow the right
person to respond to them and support them. This means being
willing to risk losing their partner. If they remain true to themselves,
honestly revealing what their inner comfort level is telling them,
either the other person will validate them by coming closer or the
other will leave and make room for someone more appropriate.
When difficult times create stress in a marriage, Taurus North
Node people view loyalty as the quality that keeps two people
together, working on the marriage, until they can get over the hump.
Loyalty involves integrity and a commitment by both people to
work on the issues rather than giving up. Taurus North Node people
need to feel that the other person will be there, so when they
become fully invested in the bond they won’t have the rug pulled
out from under them.
Because this is an important issue for these folks, when they
begin a close relationship their best bet is to acknowledge: “Loyalty
is important to me—knowing that my partner is going to be there
through thick and thin. Is it an important quality to you in a
relationship as well?” By making it clear from the beginning, they
allow the other person to see the type of relationship they are
offering.
This is one of the most effective ways they can take care of the
needy part within: discovering for themselves what their needs are,
acknowledging that those needs are important, and then clearly
communicating those needs to see how the other person responds.
The idea is to move the give-and-take of relationships out of the
realm of expectations and into the realm of open disclosure,
verbalizing what is important as the relationship progresses. Then
they can determine whether both partners want to meet each other’s
needs and make each other happy on the consistent basis that they
need.

WITHHOLDING

Taurus North Node people tend to withhold what the other
person needs, because they are judgmental about what they think
the person really needs. For example, the other person may say she
needs to play bridge with her friends one evening a week. The
Taurus North Node partner may resist: “You don’t need that; those
people aren’t up to your caliber.” But by invalidating his partner’s
expressed needs, he undermines the relationship. His best bet is to
truly empathize with the other person without the overlay of his
own desires.
Because Taurus North Node people are so aware of their own
needs, when the partner asks for something their first response may
be resistance. They don’t want to keep giving because they feel
empty, so they deliberately withhold what the partner has asked for
and defend their position by becoming judgmental of what the other
person wants. In this situation, both people lose. The other person
feels deprived, so she retaliates by giving less to Taurus North Node
or giving with resentment. This seriously undermines the very bond
they want to build.
It is to these folks’ advantage to release their tendency to
withhold from their partner. Often, the key is discrimination. Does
the other person’s expressed need violate Taurus North Node’s
sense of self-worth? If not, it behooves him to give the other person
what she needs. Just as it is inappropriate for him to live by
someone else’s values, it is inappropriate for him to expect others to
live by his values. Other people are simply being themselves.

AWARENESS OF NEEDS

There is a difference between expressed needs and unexpressed
needs. An expressed need is something the partner says she wants
(one hour alone every day, time to do a project, dinner together once
a week, etc.). When Taurus North Node people generously
cooperate with those needs, their partners are happy and respond
with an outpouring of love and appreciation. An unexpressed need
is something projected onto the other person. This doesn’t satisfy
what the other person actually wants and leads to dissatisfaction for
both parties.
Sometimes these folks are afraid to reveal what they need for fear
of appearing selfish. Actually, when they don’t reveal what they
want, they deprive their partner of the opportunity to make them
happy. Also, if they don’t communicate their boundaries and let
others know what they need, people begin to lose respect for them.
These folks don’t object to anything; they don’t say: “No! This is
not okay!” Others tend to take advantage of them because they
don’t feel enough self-worth to stand up for themselves.
To Taurus North Node people, others can seem like gods who
hold the key to meeting their needs. But they overvalue others and
undervalue themselves. This is the imbalance that leads to
heartbreak. Once they recognize this, instead of trying to figure out
if the other person can fill their needs, they begin to let their partner
know how they feel and what they require to be happy. No
justification, no compromise—just simple revelation of what they
need in the relationship. By overtly saying: “This is what I need to
be happy in this relationship,” they give others the opportunity to
adapt to them. The irony is that when Taurus North Node people are
true to themselves in this way, the changes others make in their
behavior are generally beneficial for Taurus North Nodes as well.
These folks sometimes feel they’ve given and given and just
don’t have any more to give. This stems from being constantly
aware of their partner’s needs—it takes a lot of energy to keep part
of one’s concentration always attuned to the other person! The
feeling of emptiness is actually to their advantage: It reminds them
of the necessity to turn inward and meet their own needs first.
Otherwise the emptiness persists, no matter how much their partner
gives.

EXPOSURE

In the history of humankind, many negative thoughts and
emotions have been generated as a response to life experiences:
especially inadequacy, guilt, and shame. These feelings are not
personal; they are part of the collective unconscious. Although they
do not accurately describe us as individuals, if we identify with one
of these feelings we have a tendency to hide it. Then we think we’re
the only ones with these terrible feelings.
The process happens in the extreme with Taurus North Node
people. A negative emotion floats by and they grab it, hold on to it,
and try to hide it. In order to hide it, they have to bury it deep
inside. It takes tremendous energy to hide these feelings from
others, and the fear that someone will find out how they feel
generates a lot of anxiety. These folks are so sensitive and
psychically bonded with others that they think everyone knows
what’s going on with them all the time anyway, so they really
become intense trying to hide these feelings!
Their best bet to get past this anxiety is to simply expose what
they’re feeling, one layer at a time. When they expose it, they can
release it—the Light will dissipate it. They should practice
revealing their feelings in non-threatening situations where they feel
a certain level of trust with the people involved—although any
situation will seem threatening when they first take the risk.
They may start out: “There’s something I want to share with you,
and I feel a certain amount of fear in saying it.” That peels off one
layer. Then: “I feel anxious inside, and I’m not exactly sure why.
It’s like there’s some kind of feeling going on underneath the
anxiety, and I’m not sure what it is.” That peels off another layer.
As each layer is exposed and released, the next layer makes itself
apparent: “Gosh, I guess what’s going on is that, for some reason, I
seem to feel a sense of inadequacy in this situation.” Period. That’s
it. Once it’s exposed, it dissipates—there’s no more anxiety, no
more feeling inadequate, the whole thing is released. Through this
process, Taurus North Nodes’ inner negative feelings are
permanently discharged, and they begin to experience less anxiety
in all their interactions.

GOALS

SELF-RELIANCE

Taurus North Node people are not allowed to rely on others for
success in this lifetime because they need to learn to rely on
themselves. Thus, when they count on another person’s energy to
create what they want and it doesn’t turn out according to their high
expectations, it’s one more reminder from the universe that they are
not allowed to rely on others for their sense of self-worth. The irony
is that once they learn to rely on themselves, others rally around to
help them reach their goals! Their confidence comes from knowing
that because they built success on their own, step by step, no one
can take it away.

ESTABLISHING SELF-WORTH

When Taurus North Node people look to others to acknowledge
that they have power, they won’t feel like they have any. When they
realize that their power is within them, they have a lot. Part of
claiming their power involves understanding their own value. They
don’t have to work to become something valuable; their value is
inherent—who they are is a gift they bring to the planet. Their own
sense of self-worth is the one thing they can hang on to amid the
constant shifting of public opinion. When these folks let others
determine their worth, they are on a roller coaster.
I had a client with this nodal position who was working with
endangered species. She had to bring a change of clothes each day,
because in handling the animals her clothing would become soiled
and smelly. One day she forgot her other clothes and had to wear
her work clothes home, and she had to bring a caged animal with
her that day. As she waited to catch the ferry boat, she noticed that
other people gave her a wide berth and treated her with disdain.
Then a friend who was in the new car business and needed to
transport three autos on the ferry asked if she would drive one of
them on board. When she climbed into a brand-new Lincoln
Continental, she noticed that the attitude of the people on the ferry
shifted: They were friendly, smiling and waving to her. Yet her
worth (who she was inside) stayed the same. She could recognize
how invalid it is to let other people determine her worth.
In this incarnation, the most important goal for Taurus North
Node people is to pledge themselves to their own values and build a
sense of self-worth. They are learning that they can’t establish selfworth by going along with others’ values to gain validation, nor can
they attain self-worth through resisting others’ values. Either way,
they lose. They win when they discover what is truly important and
precious to them: their own values. Self-worth will come as a byproduct of living according to those values.
They recognize the truth of this but may still feel lost when it
comes to knowing what their values are. And that’s fine. They have
a clean slate—a unique opportunity to get in touch with what is in
the deepest level of their souls. The idea is to consciously discover
what is important to them; what values give them a sense of being
grounded, confident, and able to face the world without anxiety.
They need to ask themselves: “What principles can I live by that
will make me feel good about myself, give me a sense of my own
self-worth, and give me a solid path to follow?”
For example, if Taurus North Node people decide that honesty in
communication is a value for them, they need to begin letting others
know when they feel uncomfortable. If they decide that starting
their own business is important, they can begin systematically
allotting time to it. These folks have discipline, once they’re clear
about their direction. As they travel through life, if they are
uncertain about which road to take they can ask themselves: “Would
taking this action make me feel good about myself, regardless of the
consequence in the outer world?” If the answer is yes, they can
proceed with confidence.
To further discriminate, they can ask themselves: “Does choosing
this direction make me feel comfortable, or anxious?” When they
choose to move in alignment with their comfort zone, they win; if
they opt for anxiety with no safety net, they lose. “Is this path
leading to inner peace, or will it create more crisis?” Inner peace
will lead to victory for them. “Is my motive self-validation, or to
gain the validation of others?” Those pathways that validate the
principles they think are inherently valuable and that give them a
sense of self-esteem help them win.

SELF-EMPOWERMENT

Taurus North Node people are so accustomed to empowering
others that they have forgotten how to empower themselves. In this
lifetime, their challenge is to turn the spotlight around and make
themselves powerful. They can discover how to do this by noticing
what they do that empowers others, and then applying those same
tactics to themselves. For example, they sense what the other person
really wants and encourage him or her to go after it. They add to
what is inherent in the other person. Thus, turning it around, what
project or direction gives them energy? What do they want to build?
Once they know what it is, they need to feed themselves support
and encouragement.
This is a lifetime to take their power back, to use it for
themselves rather than giving it away or sharing it in ways that are
not responsible to themselves. For example, if they spend their
energy on charitable projects when they have trouble coming up
with the mortgage payment each month, that’s furthering the cause
of another without first providing a secure financial base for
themselves.
These folks are learning not to waste energy, whether in the form
of time, money, or personal talents. They are learning to use their
resources consciously. It’s very easy to divert their energy away
from building comfort and security. They may even distract
themselves, spending time doing anything else, because they don’t
feel confident in doing things to fill their own needs. Yet when they
approach it on a practical level and proceed step by step toward
their goal, they gain self-assurance.
Taurus North Node people tend to be unwilling to give 100
percent of themselves. They hold back because they are afraid of
failure and don’t want to further undermine their sense of selfworth. Actually, if they do give 100 percent and don’t attain their
goal, they still feel good about themselves because they know they
did their best. But when they hold back and fail, they’re never sure:
“If I really had done my best, would I have succeeded?” and that
does undermine their self-confidence.
Sometimes the best thing that can happen to these folks is to
encounter a situation in which they are forced to do their best. When
it’s all or nothing and they’re forced to open up the valve all the
way, that’s when they truly get in touch with their own power. And
tremendous self-worth is born from it.
Taurus North Node people are learning to recognize their own
power—that it comes from within and is not dependent on anyone
else. The idea is for them to do things that allow the power within to
come forth naturally. Devoting time to projects that make money for
them or provide comfort or security is empowering for them. They
gain power when they have the courage to walk through difficult
times and experience a positive outcome. They gain power when
they communicate what is truly important to them, regardless of
others’ opinions, and see the situation turn out well. When they step
outside of society’s values and get in touch with their own values,
they find their power every time they are true to themselves.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION
A SENSE OF PURPOSE

Taurus North Node people are the master builders. Once they
learn how to take their time, work out each step so that it’s solid,
and not move faster than what feels comfortable, the things they
build will last forever.
These folks’ past lives revolved around the projects of others, so
in this incarnation they are learning to make the decisions and steer
the project. The strength required to see the project through will
come from being clear about their purpose. If, with each step they
take, they clarify their purpose (“What is my purpose in making this
call? In having this meeting?”), it will help focus their direction and
they will make steady progress.
One of their first jobs is to find a project that makes them secure
and happy. If it’s a financial project, their strength will be in seeing
a public need and figuring out what they can do to fill the need that
will also make money for themselves. Then, because it’s their
project, when they take responsibility their energy soars. And the
energy that comes from success nurtures them and creates a positive
feedback loop that helps them remain clear about their purpose and
focused on their goal.
Owing to so many past lives of empowering others at the expense
of their own self-worth, Taurus North Node people can be skittish
about allowing the ideas of others into their world. But the fact is
that now the tables are reversed: In this lifetime, after they have
chosen their goal, they are supposed to allow others to help them.
They tend to make the process of success unnecessarily hard on
themselves. They think others are supposed to give them
everything, support them, and take care of all their material needs;
or they have to do everything on their own without any help. This
“all or nothing” approach is neither accurate nor practical.
It is true that Taurus North Nodes need to earn their own success.
However, once they have decided on a goal and are willing to put
forth the effort to get there, step by step, then it is fully appropriate
for other people to support them, empower them, and help them
reach the goal. Others can make their route easier by opening up
opportunities, pointing out pitfalls, broadening their approach, and
helping them cover their bases in a practical way.
They shouldn’t rely on the help of others, but they need to learn
to accept it when it is freely offered.

A STEP-BY-STEP PROCESS

When Taurus North Node people see how far they have to go to
reach their goal, they panic. All the work involved, the hurdles to
overcome—how can they ever get there? So they pull back from
their larger goals owing to fear of failure. It all seems too
overwhelming.
Seen from their point of view, it would feel overwhelming to
anyone! The only way long-range goals are reached is by breaking
the process into individual steps. The idea of being a doctor is
intimidating to a high school student. And yet, if that is a true
dream, it’s worth working through the hurdles. First the aspiring
physician has to complete a four-year college education, then four
years of medical school, then residency. It’s a long process, but it
can be accomplished in stages one step at a time. And the goal will
be reached if each step is completed with total attention.
It’s the same in an important relationship. If these folks meet
someone who “rings their bells,” the idea of reuniting with their
soul mate is so overwhelming that they don’t want to think about it;
they want to jump right into it—and the result is disaster. What they
dreamed of isn’t accomplished because they tried to bypass the
necessary steps. Sometimes when they think about their goal, they
forget that getting there is solely up to them and their willingness to
do the work. They can feel a lot of emotional intensity worrying
about whether they are worthy of the goal.
But this is like looking at a mountain and wondering if they’re
worthy of teaching the summit, when the only thing that can make
them worthy is actually climbing it. If they have the proper
equipment, choose a realistic route relative to their experience and
ability, and are willing to put one foot in front of the other, they’ll
get there.
Taurus North Node people are not accustomed to formulating a
strategy for getting to the goal, since in past lives defining the steps
was the responsibility of another person. Now they are learning to
determine the goal they would like to accomplish (a camping trip
for the family, starting a business, etc.) and to formulate a practical
plan for achieving it. As they take the steps, they’re very efficient
and have a feeling of confidence that “it will work”—and it usually
does as long as they systematically follow the steps.
Even so, it is not always easy for these folks to be clear about
what they want in life. They may need a lot of self-reflection and
soul searching to determine what they want to build. And when they
do decide, it is important that they remember to tune in to their
inner feeling of comfort as a barometer of whether or not a decision
is “on path” for them. Regardless of what their mind tells them, if
they have an inner feeling of discomfort about something and
proceed anyway, they always lose. When they remain true to that
inner sense of what is comfortable (which is a reflection of their
own unique boundaries), everything works to their advantage.
Taurus North Node people need values and ethics to live by, a
path they can walk step by step to achieve serenity. When they find
spiritual principles they resonate with, their best bet is to apply them
on a practical basis in their daily lives. They are much better off
with application rather than theory. For example, 12-step programs
are great for them (Alcoholics Anonymous, Adult Children of
Alcoholics, etc.), as these programs focus on a practical, step-bystep approach to spiritual principles.
To build a solid sense of self-worth, these folks need to follow a
path of doing the “right thing” according to what they feel is
morally correct, rather than “going along” with the values of others.
Their means of guidance may not always be the most pleasant; but
if they follow it, it can lead them out of the dark—being lost
without a sense of integrity and self-worth—into the Light. Shame
or guilt may be an indication that they should re-evaluate their
behavior. Regardless of the opinions of society, they know what
makes them feel good about themselves. When they follow their
own internal guidance system, a solid sense of self-worth is
ensured.

MASTERING MONEY

From the charity work they performed in past incarnations,
Taurus North Node people have gained the right to earn personal
wealth in this incarnation. Charity work is natural for them because,
in past lives, other people paid their bills. So they put their energy
into things that were good for the community. However, in this
incarnation it is better for them to pursue activities for which they
are paid, since the process of earning money helps build their selfesteem.
These folks sometimes are too trusting with money. They know
that “trusting the universe” is a principle that works. However, it is
also true that “God helps those who help themselves.” Trusting the
universe does not mean avoiding personal responsibility and doing
irrational things out of blind faith. If a friend says: “Will you loan
me $3,000?” and $3,000 is all Taurus North Node has to cover his
own expenses, “trusting the universe” does not mean thinking:
“Well, I trust the universe, so I’ll just give away my money.”
Taurus North Node people need to accept responsibility for
taking care of their own finances. Only then can they include others
without fear of losing their personal power and self-worth. When
they feel secure, they can trust the universe in a way that empowers
them to see what life is offering.

TAKING CHARGE

To accept responsibility in terms of money and open the doors
to personal wealth, Taurus North Node people need to deliberately
begin paying attention to money: writing things down, keeping
track of what they’re spending and where their money is going. This
is empowering: It enables them to channel their money in
meaningful directions. Accumulating money is a game, for which
these folks have a real talent. Once they put their minds to it, they
can make a little money go a long way and can easily become
wealthy.
Sometimes they feel resentful about having to take charge with
money. They are angry about not having the “easier life” they were
accustomed to in past incarnations. Yet it’s healthy when they do
take care of themselves: a steady job, a stable income, a savings
account, and financial plans for the future. The idea is to create a
secure financial base that will allow them to take risks in other
areas. This gives them a feeling of ease and confidence about life
and makes them feel good about themselves.
Although some folks do very well with inherited money, Taurus
North Node people are not in that category. It’s not to their
advantage to be dependent on an inheritance, the financial goodness
of others, or a state or federal assistance program. Any situation in
which they are financially dependent on another debilitates their
sense of self-worth. In this incarnation, it’s crucial that Taurus North
Nodes earn their own money and are paid for their energy.
If they have inherited money, it is in their best interests to use
part of it to start their own business or in some way promote a cause
that builds their sense of self-worth. If they are financially
dependent on a spouse, it is healthy for them to start a small
business of their own or take a job outside the home, even if they
don’t need it or it’s “not much money.” They need to build a sense
of self apart from their connection with another person. Regularly
setting aside blocks of time for working toward an individual goal
or project that is important to them is another way to build their
self-esteem.
If these folks are on a state or federal assistance program, they
can begin taking side jobs to make money. If the Taurus North Node
is a parent with children, perhaps she could start a child care
service. The issue is not how much or how little she makes, but the
sense of self-worth that is gained.
Taurus North Node people have a natural understanding of how
money works and the necessity of circulating money. Their
challenge is to circulate it consciously. Once they start using it to
build with, they can become very wealthy. In past lives they were so
accustomed to using other people’s money that they lost respect for
the value of money; they didn’t have to earn it themselves. In this
lifetime they are learning to respect money and to use it wisely in
ways that help it multiply. Money is their teacher. Once they tap
into their intuition of how money works, money itself will show
them how to make more.

DEBT

Taurus North Node people may have a problem equating wealth
with debt. I’ve had many clients with this nodal position who
accumulated enormous debt owing to this misunderstanding. For
example, I had one Taurus North Node client who, with her
husband and another couple, started an innovative cosmetics
business. It took off faster than anyone expected, and orders came
in fast and furious! To keep up with the unexpected rush, my client
borrowed against her credit cards to hire more employees, order
more ingredients, and so on—until she had accumulated a debt of
nearly $60,000.
Then there was a falling-out among the partners, the company
collapsed, her marriage ended in divorce, and she was left $60,000
in debt. It took her ten years to pay off the debt. To do it, she lived
in a cheap apartment, allowed herself no luxuries, cut out her social
life, worked two jobs, and endured incredible stress and deprivation.
When the business first got off the ground, my client jeopardized
herself by trying to respond instantly to an outside demand. She
could have allowed the universe to unfold the business organically,
using the profits to expand the business from its modest beginnings.
I had another Taurus North Node client who wanted to make
films showing New Age encounter groups—especially those
dealing with the emergence of new feminine and masculine roles in
our society. She thought the films had a noble mission, and she
“trusted the universe” to provide money for the project. She
borrowed money (thereby accumulating an enormous debt) to make
these films.
My client trusted that the money would be there because “the
universe wanted the project to succeed.” Her life became total chaos
trying to raise more money, do the project, and come up with “delay
tactics” in paying back the money she had already borrowed.
Eventually the entire undertaking collapsed and she had to declare
bankruptcy—for the second time in her life. This time, not only
were the financial institutions hurt but friends and family who had
loaned her money as well.
The accumulation of debt does not work for Taurus North Node
people. They are master builders when they use common sense and
don’t take “leaps of faith” or try high-wire maneuvers without a
safety net. But in some ways they don’t respect money and tend to
be careless about it. Although they don’t think about it much on a
conscious level, they have a lot of fears around money owing to
lack of experience in providing for themselves financially in past
lives.
Once these folks realize they have to deliberately be more
conscious about money, they accept the responsibility. However,
sometimes they lose control and go on a spending spree—buying
something they don’t need that they have to pay for later. In past
lives, money was a tool for distraction. Thus, in this lifetime when
they get bored they may have the urge to go shopping, with the
subconscious feeling that they deserve it and someone else will pay.
Rationally they know this is not true, but they almost can’t help
themselves.
Taurus North Node people can’t stand feeling restricted
financially. Yet the irony is that once they put their nose to the
grindstone and accept responsibility for earning and budgeting, they
can easily accrue the kind of wealth that will allow them to spend
without worry. But once they have made it, they need to continue to
be responsible about handling it—they are not allowed to be
“unconscious” about money in this lifetime.

HEALING THEME SONG

I have written a healing song for each nodal group to help shift
its energy in a positive way, since music is a potent vehicle for
emotionally supporting us in taking risks.

SEEK YE FIRST

The message of this song is meant to effortlessly shift the focus
of Taurus North Node people toward turning within themselves to
connect with the wealth of reassurance and peace in their own
nature. Thus the bonding they need for security and a sense of selfworth can happen within themselves.

Selected lyrics:

My guy got sick, needed attention
So I put on my nurses hat . . .
My heart fell when he called it “distraction”
That’s not where I was at!

And I remembered:

Seek ye first, the kingdom of heaven
And I turned within—
And before too long, my heart felt strong
The outside got in order again!
So seek ye first . . .
Because inside of you’s the kingdom of heaven!

These lyrics are set to music and sung in their entirety on
the CD and cassette tape “Unfolding As It Should.”

North Node in Gemini

and North Node in the 3rd House

OVERVIEW

Attributes to Develop
Work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents

Healthy curiosity

Asking questions to learn how others think

Seeing both sides of a situation

Tact

Logic

Communication of internal dichotomies

A positive approach to life and other people

Purposely cheering up others

Using a nonthreatening approach when
expressing ideas

Listening

Openness to new ideas and experiences

Seeking factual information before making
decisions

Tendencies to Leave Behind

Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can
help make life easier and more enjoyable

Self-righteousness
Aloofness
Assuming others know “where they’re at”
Thinking one knows what others are saying
without really listening
Needing to be right
Espousing “Truth,” without taking others’ views
into account
Careless spontaneity
Taking shortcuts
Taking oneself too seriously; having a ponderous
approach to life
Acting on intuition without checking the facts
Resisting ideas that are foreign to one’s belief
system
Prejudging present situations on the basis of past
experience

ACHILLES’ HEEL/TRAP TO AVOID/THE BOTTOM LINE

The Achilles’ heel Gemini North Node people need to be aware
of is self-righteousness (“If other people would just acknowledge
that I am right and appreciate me for it, I would feel understood and
accepted”), which can lead them into the trap of an unending search
for Truth (“If I have all the right answers, everyone will value me;
then I can relax and feel connected to people”). But it’s a bottomless
pit: Since it’s impossible to be “right” all the time, they never feel
good about themselves. And when they argue and try to convince
people that they are right, others don’t want to connect with them.
However, if they have enough humility and openness to really
listen to a variety of viewpoints—even those that don’t fit with their
previous experiences—they can get to know people in a way that
helps them feel more connected. The bottom line is that at some
point they have to release their preoccupation with absolute Truth
and simply begin to relate to people as they are, listening to others
and learning from them. The irony is that in the process of this more
equitable and relaxed interaction, Truth is more successfully
communicated. And when Gemini North Node people really listen
to what is important to others, their responses are more appropriate
and helpful. Then people do appreciate them and want to connect
with them.

WHAT THESE PEOPLE REALLY WANT

These people really want to be totally free to pursue Truth, have
adventures, be spontaneous, and be right 100 percent of the time.
They want to speak completely from their Truth and their intuitive
processes, and to have everyone understand them, learn from them,
and appreciate their help.
To attain this goal, Gemini North Node people must stop
focusing on “their Truth” and begin to focus on the people around
them. They need to listen to—and understand—the information that
others share about their lives. When Gemini North Node people
listen in this way, sometimes they have an “aha!” insight that is
exactly the perspective that the other person needs. And because
this information accurately addresses the other’s problem, it will be
gratefully accepted.

TALENTS/PROFESSION

These people have the ability (when they listen) to tune in to the
specific thought process of others and supply information that
allows others to view problems from an expanded perspective.
Selling, writing, teaching, and communicating in all forms can bring
them happiness as well as material success.
Gifts in the areas of philosophy and religion, and an innate
awareness of ethics and morality, are also available to Gemini North
Node people. They can use their spiritual and intuitive awareness to
understand the thinking of others without losing their own Truth.
However, if they involve themselves professionally in the pursuit of
Truth or religion as a final aim, they may ultimately feel isolated.
They are better off when they use their natural talents to deeply
connect with others on a day-to-day basis.

HEALING AFFIRMATIONS SPECIFIC
TO GEMINI NORTH NODE

“This is a people-oriented lifetime.”
“I can slow down and take the time to connect
with others.”
“When I tune in to how others think, I know
what to say.”
“When I am willing to listen and learn about the
other person, I win.”
“If I don’t understand, it’s okay to ask
questions.”

PERSONALITY

PAST LIVES

Gemini North Node people have had two very different kinds of
past life experiences with one common denominator: the pursuit of
truth. They have had incarnations where they pursued Truth on their
own—as traveling sadhus in India, wandering nomads in the desert,
hermits, or simple people going into the wilderness alone to learn
nature’s secrets. They have also had many incarnations seeking
Truth as a collective ideal, becoming absorbed in religious
organizations. Either way, seeking after Truth, spirituality, ethics,
and enlightenment has motivated their entire lives, and society and
human relationships were neglected.

THE PHILOSOPHER

These folks have had many incarnations as Philosopher Kings.
Lifetime after lifetime, whether Buddhist, Hebrew, Moslem, or
Christian, they left everyone around them to pursue Truth. This is
why, in this life, they still tend to leave everyone and go off on their
own. All throughout their previous incarnations they sought
enlightenment—climbing to the top of the mountain to reach the
pinnacle of Truth. But after so many incarnations with the same
focus, they found it! There’s no need for them to continue the
search in this lifetime. In the end, on their mountaintop, they
became isolated and lonely. Now, in this lifetime, the challenge is to
share their Truth, rejoining society and staying connected with
others.
Self-righteousness can be Gemini North Nodes’ biggest
stumbling block to effectively relating to people and feeling the
peace and love that are inherent in true connectedness. As they were
philosophers and priests in past lives, other people followed their
instructions. They are used to being regarded as always being
“right” without question, so it is understandable that they enter this
incarnation with a certain arrogance. However, other people can
sense this superior attitude, and this prevents them from listening to
the Gemini North Node person. As a result, Gemini North Node
people start to feel that other people are undervaluing their
intelligence because they won’t listen. This is an example of how
they suffer from a communication problem.

COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS

Due to the loneliness and isolation of their past lives, Gemini
North Node people may seem like they can carry on hours of
conversation all by themselves. They may remember to ask the
other person a generalized question such as “How’s it going?” but if
the other person turns the attention back on them, they take the
opportunity and run with it. They can go on and on about
everything that’s happening in their lives, recount their memories,
tell a dozen stories and emerge the hero in every one . . . without the
other person adding a single word to the conversation. Never
getting a chance to interact or share his or her own story, the other
person loses interest in the Gemini North Node person.
After so many lifetimes of being lonely, these folks feel a need to
talk constantly. They are not comfortable with silence because they
associate it with isolation. Now they want to relate to other people;
so if there’s a silence in the interaction, they feel like there’s a
“problem” and will talk about anything simply to fill the void.
They are learning that conversation is a process of skillful
interaction: It has to do with sharing one’s point of view with a
sensitivity to how the other person is hearing it, inviting response,
and being open to feedback. These folks need to remember to shine
the spotlight on other people from time to time, asking them
questions about their lives and sharing a point of view about the
others’ lives that might be helpful. If Gemini North Node people
keep the spotlight on themselves for too long, they lose the energy
the other people add to the interaction. When they feel this loss of
energy, it should signal them to let the other person talk.
Conversation is like breathing—an inhale andan exhale; Gemini
North Node is learning that both people should have a chance to
participate regardless of which person is the focus of attention.
For example, when telling someone about a confrontation they
had with a co-worker, they could say: “What do you think about
that? Do you think I judged the situation correctly?” After the other
person responds, they could ask: “How was your day? Was it
peaceful or did you also have confrontations?” If they think the
other person doesn’t want to talk, they need to check it out by
asking: “Would you rather not talk about this, or do you have
something else on your mind?” To keep the vitality going in a
conversation, both people must be actively involved. Once these
folks get the idea of how conversation works, they become experts
at it.
Gemini North Node people are learning to see communication as
a vehicle for curiosity—wanting to learn about the other person.
They need to welcome input from others because, when combined
with their own ideas and insights, it can produce a truth that is more
powerful than either “truth” by itself.
Sometimes these folks appear combative. They think they have
something important to say and are afraid that they will not be
understood. So they put a lot of enthusiasm and energy into the
communication to be sure they get their point across. They can
become so fiery and adamant that others may feel attacked and
respond defensively. Then, because the other person appears to be
resisting their communication, they may become even more
adamant until the interaction escalates in an irrational, overly
emotional way. But they need to recognize that it’s their
presentation that is being resisted, not their point of view.
Gemini North Node people have a tendency to speak in a very
direct manner—delivering their opinion as unalterable Truth—and
any discussion of their Truth can lead to an argument. They may
actually enjoy this and consider it a stimulating interchange of
ideas, whereas the other person may see it as an empty battle of
wits. This can keep them from interacting with friends on a daily
basis, because people get tired of the battle after a while. Gemini
North Node people need to learn to pull back and listen more
carefully to the other person. They need to recognize that their
strength is in clear quiet thought, not emotion. Their insights (when
they have heard the correct question) are often powerful, accurate
solutions, and when they speak them in a nondramatic way, the
power of the idea can really be heard.
These people need to credit the intelligence of other people and
trust that they will recognize Truth without it being jammed down
their throats. Gemini North Node people are learning the
importance of replacing impatience with respect if they wish to
truly get their point across and connect with people successfully.
Another reason these folks are so ardent in the delivery of their
ideas is that they want acknowledgment that their Truth is “right.” It
validates their self-esteem and helps them to relax to know that their
viewpoint is accepted. But these folks need to recognize that Truth
stands on its own merit and doesn’t need energy from their egos to
propel it, or fanfare to signal its accuracy. In fact, the more quietly
Truth can be delivered, the better, so that the other person feels the
serenity to receive it. Regardless of how noble their motive is, these
folks may not use the fiery energy of personal ego to enforce their
point of view. Others simply won’t listen.

PATIENCE AND FRUSTRATION

Gemini North Node people are learning to be patient with
themselves and others in working out glitches in communication.
They’re not used to talking. After all, they’ve been on
mountaintops; what do they know about communication? It’s as
though they’re speaking Latin while the people around them are
speaking English. They need to have patience and slow down, take
a few extra moments to translate, and really listen to what the other
person has said.
Most of their problems in communicating are caused by
inappropriate responses, which stem from not really hearing what
other people are saying. Here is a simple example: Gemini North
Node has a friend working in a booth at the County Fair who needs
to count out exactly 100 apples. As she’s counting—“67, 68, 69, 70
. . .”—people keep stopping by and interrupting her, and she loses
count. Well, the friend has a problem, so naturally the Gemini North
Node person will magically show up because he is a person with all
the answers! The friend says: “These apples are for the County Fair.
I need to count . . .” but the Gemini North Node person will hear the
first few words and not the rest. He assumes he knows what the
problem is, so he drifts off. He “comes back” when he notices the
other person has stopped talking, but since he never truly heard
what the problem was, he is likely to give an inappropriate answer:
“Oh, don’t worry about it—apples are two for a quarter down at the
fairgrounds!” The friend will be irritated, because she had a genuine
problem and wasn’t given the answer she needed. And the Gemini
North Node person will be frustrated because he went out of his
way to help and his friend didn’t appreciate it. Both people lost.
Instead of getting frustrated, the Gemini North Node person
needs to stop and think: “Okay—since she didn’t accept my answer,
that means I didn’t communicate effectively. Perhaps I didn’t fully
understand the problem.” He needs to return to the friend with an
apology: “Gosh, I’m sorry—maybe I didn’t really understand your
problem. Would you tell me again?” The friend will appreciate that
he cared enough to come back, and when they start communicating
again: “I need to count 100 apples for the fair,” the Gemini North
Node person can listen carefully and see the problem accurately.
Then he may suggest: “Well, why don’t you make ten piles of ten
apples each?” Instantly the friend will be relieved: “Thank you!
That’s the answer I was looking for!” When the other person
gratefully accepts the answer, there is a “high” for both parties and
both people win.

BEARERS OF TRUTH

Often, these folks don’t realize the full impact of the messages
they deliver. In the above example, the friend may go home that
night and suddenly realize: “You know, that’s the reason my whole
life doesn’t work! I have it all jammed together, and what I need to
do is to organize it into smaller segments that I can deal with!”
Gemini North Node people must never judge any subject to be not
worth talking about. If someone is sincerely interested and seeking
information, these folks should always try to help the other person
find it. Gemini North Node people are bearers of Truth, and in
helping others find the information they seek, they often reveal a
larger Truth.

“FREEDOM TAPES”

In past lives, freedom was very important for Gemini North
Node people—to discover their Truth they had to be free. Now they
have “tapes” in their subconscious that say over and over: “I’ve got
to be free; I’ve got to be free.” But in this lifetime, listening to such
tapes is not to their advantage. If they’re in a relationship, really
understanding what the other person is saying and creating
tremendous rapport, and all of a sudden “I’ve got to be free; I’ve got
to be free” comes on in their mind, they will pull themselves out of
the interaction. Then they go off by themselves and think they will
feel free, but instead they feel lonely (one more mountaintop!) and
say: “What’s going on? There’s no energy here at all.”
But it’s healthy for these folks to go back and say: “Gosh, I’ve
changed my mind.” This is not a lifetime where they have to be
right all the time. They need to be honest when they have two
different responses to something. For example, they may want to
stay in a relationship and at the same time fear that by staying they
won’t be able to do what they want to do. At that point, Gemini
North Node people need to honestly communicate their
dichotomies: “To tell you the truth, I’ve got two things going on
here. On the one hand I want to stay, on the other hand I’m afraid
that if I get really close I won’t be able to do the things on my own
that I need to do.” Or with their children they might say: “I
understand what’s going on with you and that you need a lot of
space, but we need to have a certain amount of discipline in this
family to make the unit work.” When they share both sides of the
issue, the answer will present itself. The person will understand
what they are saying and come into alignment with them.
Just being aware that they have “freedom tapes” is a big part of
resolving this issue. The tapes are like a muscle in the subconscious
that got overexercised, and now it’s going to assert itself at the most
inopportune times. So if they tune in to where the voice is coming
from, they can choose to not take it too seriously.

INTERNAL CONFLICTS
DOUBTS AND FEARS

In many past lifetimes as spiritual counselors, mentors, or
advisors, Gemini North Node people have had to be in positions of
certainty when others expressed doubts and fears. Their
subconscious tells them: “You’re supposed to know all the
answers.” Their goals required complete faith and trust; so in this
lifetime, their subconscious tries to invalidate any fears or doubts
that come up.
They tend to rationalize by comparing themselves to others in
ways that invalidate their own feelings. For example, a Gemini
North Node person may say: “You know, I’m really not happy in
my job . . . but I don’t know what I want to do right now . . . and
I’m lucky to even have a job! And nobody likes their job!” These
folks present themselves as having it all figured out. They won’t
say: “I have no clue what I want to do with my life.” They’ll say
instead: “I’m planning to go to law school” and then give six
reasons why they’re doing it. They’ll even list the disadvantages:
“I’ve already thought about the negative side of it, but I think that’s
what I want to do.” When they present themselves to others as
having all the answers, this attitude cuts off—rather than invites—
the communication, interaction, and sharing that could provide them
with new information and insights.
They are hesitant to elicit the ideas and opinions of others
because they don’t want to feel weak—they don’t want to face the
fact that they actually don’t have all the answers. Because they are
afraid that the other person is going to tell them something they
don’t want to hear, they inadvertently converse in a way that
discourages others from having any input in the conversation. These
folks also fear that true communication with others might expose
something deeper about themselves, which would allow their fears,
doubts, and inner confusion to begin to rise.

LIVING IN SOCIETY

Gemini North Node is learning that in society there is freedom
of choice. Not everyone is following the same set of rules. As each
one of us pursues our individual pathway, it’s okay to be uncertain
and have doubts and to have the humility to ask others for their
opinion—in fact, it’s encouraged. Cooperation empowers people to
use their talents to express themselves, achieve their desires, and do
things that benefit not only themselves but other people and society
as a whole.
On the mountaintop Gemini North Node people were on their
own, but in society we all have strengths and weaknesses. Folks get
together and share information—the plumber knows about
plumbing, the lawyer knows about law, and so on. However,
Gemini North Node people are not accustomed to seeking help.
They think it shows a lack of intelligence. Yet society operates from
the basic assumption that nobody knows everything. We’re all in the
same boat, so the person with the most expertise directs the ship.
Gemini North Node people may isolate themselves from the
comfort and camaraderie of interdependence because they are
resistant to other people telling them what to do, especially if the
others seem to know less about Truth than they do. However, in this
incarnation they must learn to live successfully in society—and
there are plenty of people who know more about that than they do!
Gemini North Node people should remember that humility is
beneficial because it allows them to listen to and learn from others.
They need to find out how to “be themselves” and still be a
cooperative part of society. Moreover, humility allows them to learn
that Truth is a universal energy that can come through anyone, so
they should be open to all points of view.

DUALITY

These folks are learning to accept duality: the contradictions in
others and the duality of their own natures. By pursuing only Truth
in past lives, they became isolated from the experience of being
human. In this incarnation, their mission is to learn about human
nature all over again.
Planet Earth runs on the principles of yin and yang, night and
day, cold and hot, receptive and creative, female and male—
seeming opposites that make a whole. Gemini North Node people
will better understand life, people, and situations when they see the
“flip side” of the coin. They are still learning to see, accept, and be
interested in both sides, rather than take the attitude that “It’s just a
coin; big deal.” Rather than discounting internal conflicts, they are
learning about the peace of mind that comes from honestly and
lovingly accepting the contradictory parts of their own nature.
Therefore, Gemini North Node people shouldn’t worry about
having the total picture. It’s okay for them not to “know”—in fact,
in this lifetime it’s preferable! Thinking they already know
everything blocks their openness to new information that might
improve their understanding of the situation.
These folks are also hesitant to tell people things because they
project that others don’t want to hear difficult truths. So when
someone tells them “I left this job,” “I broke up with so-and-so,” or
“I decided not to go to law school,” then the Gemini North Node
person will say: “I didn’t want to tell you, but I never liked him.”
Or, “I didn’t think law school was a good idea for you.” The other
person may say: “Why didn’t you tell me a long time ago?” But
these folks are afraid of hurting others by “speaking the truth.” They
need to recognize that simply expressing their own opinion might
be helpful to the other person.
However, the motive behind offering their opinion plays a vital
role in how their advice is received. If their motive is to offer love
and support, the other person will feel their good intention and be
open to their input. But if their motive is to be judgmental or to be
“right,” the other person will respond defensively. If Gemini North
Node people truly want to help, the interaction works smoothly.
They should offer their perception as another point of view, a gift of
caring, and let the other person figure out whether or not it’s right
for the situation at hand.

OPTIMISM

Gemini North Node people have a tendency to blind optimism
that can lead them to jump into things without thoroughly checking
all the facts. Sometimes they intuitively feel that someone is being
dishonest with them, but they may override that feeling with high
hopes for great returns and the attitude that “everything is going to
work out.” When they become aware of this imbalance, they need
to force themselves to acknowledge their other options. This will
restore their self-confidence.
When they recognize that they are not in a logical situation, they
need to fall back on their own strength. But they don’t always feel
capable of handling things. They tend to blindly trust people they
feel are better able to take care of themselves in the real world. And
because they are trustworthy, they project that others are
trustworthy as well—and this can get them into a lot of trouble.
These folks should rely on others to help them; however, they
should not do this blindly. Their challenge is to understand the
people around them, and not to trust just anyone out of fear that
they have no other choices. They need to listen to the other person’s
words, and because Gemini North Node people are basically
truthful, they can tell when others are not being truthful with them.

INTEGRITY

Gemini North Node people don’t necessarily expect the people
they’re with to tell them the truth. They think that other people
work from some other point of reference where it’s all right to be
dishonest, tell white lies, hide money, and so on. And since they
themselves would never do these things, they feel that others are
operating from a lesser level of integrity. Once again their past life
experience with its strict moral code comes into the picture, and
these folks have a tough time dealing with what they perceive to be
the “dishonesty and games” of other people.
These folks need to recognize that their function is to reinfuse
spiritual ethics and Truth into the mindsets of others. If they cast
others as being “wrong” for not being “moral,” naturally others will
resist their insights—no one wants to feel like a sinner! So they
need to support people in integrating the spiritual path into their
daily lives. At the same time, they must be open to other views and
temper the rigidity of their own position.
When Gemini North Node people give their word, they keep it—
it’s a matter of morality to them. And they expect those around
them to play by the rules both parties have agreed on. When other
people talk about doing something and then don’t do it—for
whatever reason—these folks can get extremely upset. They want
the initial agreement to be acknowledged, and they want to be
consulted about any changes.
For example, if they agreed to clean the attic with someone and
then something came up, they would say: “We said we were going
to clean the attic today, but it’s looking like we’re not going to have
time. Is everybody okay with that?” They hate things to be said and
then not followed up on. Yet they don’t know how to bring this trait
to other people’s attention—they don’t want to upset the others or
have them deny that the discrepancy is happening. It can be an area
of serious confusion for these folks.
When such discrepancies occur, it is usually for one of three
basic reasons:
1. It may be the result of an initial misunderstanding that
the Gemini North Node person let pass without
clarification, even though he didn’t feel good about it at
the time. If he has to clear up something from the past, he
needs to stay with the facts of the situation: “Yesterday I
heard you say _____, and now I hear you say _____.I
don’t understand the discrepancy. Will you please explain
this to me so I can understand better what you’re saying?”
If his motive is truly to understand, and not just wanting
to make the other person appear wrong, this approach will
work. Otherwise, the other person will become
uncomfortable and respond defensively.
2. The other person may not have really said what
Gemini North Node heard—there’s a lot of
miscommunication in these folks’ lives. If Gemini North
Node can remember the words closely, he can say:
“Yesterday I heard you say _____. Did you mean _____,
or did you mean something else?”
3. It is also possible that the other person felt strongly
about a situation one day, and then—due to a change in
circumstances, perception, or feedback—changed her
mind and felt just as strongly in another direction the
following day. Part of living in society is learning how to
adapt and change direction in response to feedback from
others. People put an idea out into the world, and
depending on how others respond to it, the idea is
continued or changed to best accomplish the goal. For
example, someone might be convinced that advertising in
Magazine A would increase business. Then, after getting
a limited response, he or she might be equally convinced
that Magazine A was not a good advertising bet, put an ad
in Magazine B, or use an entirely different media outlet.
Gemini North Node people might see these situations as
discrepancies, but they simply represent the process of intelligent
adaptation to feedback from the environment. From past lives in
religious environments, these folks are used to seeking eternal
truths: absolute universal laws that never change. But in this
incarnation they are learning to move about in a social environment,
and they need to have the humility to listen and learn about how the
rules work in this environment. Such recognition will also help
them be more open to others. Others’ responses can help these folks
determine whether or not they are truly making a contribution and
effectively adding positive energy to the situation.

NEEDS

ACCEPTANCE AND SHARING

Gemini North Node people feel a sense of urgency about getting
their point across and being “heard.” Underneath this urgency,
however, what they really want is to feel accepted. Acceptance is an
accurate barometer for them of whether of not they are “on path.”
When other people accept what they are saying, it’s a signal that
they are communicating effectively. If others don’t accept their
words, it’s a signal that they need to pull back and recast their
message in words that the others can understand.
For these folks, truths are like sacred stepping-stones—the very
foundations of their perceptions. They hesitate to share their truths
because they are afraid that others will think they’re crazy or judge
them for pondering Truth instead of thinking about making money
or other material concerns. They want to reveal themselves to
others, but their sacred Truth is so intangible that it’s difficult to talk
about directly, and the other person often loses interest. Then
Gemini North Node gets frustrated because he doesn’t know how to
communicate his philosophy in just a few words.
It’s like walking into a dentist’s office with a toothache. The
patient wants to know: Shall we fill the tooth, pull the tooth, cap the
tooth, or do a root canal? She does not want the dentist to tell her
about all his experiences in dental school. Because all the years the
dentist spent studying support his view of what should be done with
the tooth, the patient will feel the learning behind his simple, factual
opinion. Likewise, Gemini North Node people need to learn to
answer the immediate need of the other person, giving what may
seem to be a temporary or simplistic answer rather than an entire
philosophy. This is what is scheduled to work for them in the
present incarnation.
Truth is an energy, not a concept. These folks are actually seeking
the energy of Truth, but they need to remember that it is not
scheduled to come in a ponderous way. As they exchange ideas with
others in order to solve problems in their daily lives, they will get in
touch with the Truth they are looking for. When they help others
break through even a superficial problem or misunderstanding, the
energy of the Truth will come through and everyone involved will
share resolution and peace of mind. In this incarnation, Gemini
North Node people are scheduled to access the Truth through
simple, daily interactions and genuine connections with others.

STAYING IN THE PRESENT
HERE AND NOW SOLUTIONS

Gemini North Node people have a tendency to be so concerned
with distant, overall solutions that they don’t allow themselves to
feel the joy of the moment. They are still looking for “eternal
truths.” However, in this incarnation they need to be more
concerned with “here and now” solutions and recognize that if they
(and those around them) are happy in each moment, the moments
will add up and the happiness will last.
The same is true in their business affairs. They can be so
concerned with the “larger picture” that they lose sight of how to
create an immediately successful situation. They need to be more
aware of time, budgeting their projects into specific blocks for
completion, instead of feeling that they have “forever” to handle
material concerns.
For example, I had a Gemini North Node client who owned a
duplex rental property. When one of his tenants moved out, some
minor plumbing repairs were required. Rather than handle that and
rent it out again, he decided it was a good time to do a thorough
plumbing overhaul. Then he decided it would be a good time to
shore up the foundation—which required a major expenditure of
time and money (which he didn’t have) as well as lifting the house
off its present foundation (“in order to do a thorough job”). He kept
thinking that somewhere down the line (these folks always think in
terms of eternity!) it would have to be done, so he might as well
handle it now. Since he didn’t have the resources to finish the job
immediately, the vacancy continued for month after month. When
the family on the top floor moved out, he expanded the project to
include the upstairs plumbing (“it would have to be done
eventually”). The property had been completely vacant for nine
months when he came to see me; due to lack of rental income, he
was in danger of losing it.
These folks are learning the value of temporary solutions,
handling problems when they arise and not projecting too far into
the future. Otherwise, they lose the strong foundation that provides
a base for future expansion. Life on planet Earth is temporary—
eternity only exists in consciousness. They need to shorten their
view and put their current affairs in order. They need to look at all
the salient facts of a situation—the upside and the downside—and
use their logic.

SENSE OF PURPOSE

While in some areas of life Gemini North Node people are too
patient, they simultaneously try to take shortcuts in other areas. But
illogical shortcuts always result in more work in the long run
because these folks will have to go back, slow down, and do it all
over again. They rush to get everything and everyone out of their
way so they can be “free” for more important things. Often this
inner restlessness is associated with feeling lost. In fact, they do
need a purpose to give their life direction. However, it’s up to them
to define that purpose—and it has to be more than the pursuit of
Truth. They must have an individual, “in the present” purpose that
connects them to society; until they define that purpose, they will
feel lost. This is one reason these folks change jobs so frequently. If
their current occupation doesn’t satisfy their inner sense of purpose,
they have no qualms about leaving and trying something completely
new to see if it “fits.” They are willing to go through as much
formal education as it takes to prepare for the job they think might
“do it” for them.
The search for “purpose” that calls Gemini North Node people is
a carryover from past lives of seeking Truth. But in this lifetime,
their purpose is to learn the process of connecting with society. For
example, if they’re sitting at a table with four people, these folks are
great at the beginning of the conversation. But if they’re with the
same four people day after day, they become nervous. They think
they’ve already said everything they had to say. Indeed they did, but
they haven’t heard what others had to say in response—and that’s
the next step! These folks need to listen to others and learn how to
build on their responses so the relationship can grow. This kind of
sharing can generate tremendous energy that leads to new realms of
mutual discovery. When the four people at the table have new
experiences, they have new insights to share with one another.

CHANGE

Gemini North Node people have spent so many lifetimes
“trapped” in religious organizations concentrating on Truth, that in
this incarnation they resist limiting themselves to only one thing.
They are starved for worldly adventure: to taste life; to experience
different kinds of relationships, different occupations, and different
places. They are hungry for the benefits of living in the world.
Yet they can be envious of people who settle down to just one
job, marriage, or lifestyle. They wonder: “Wow! What would it be
like to just completely put myself into one life choice?” But their
subconscious knows that when they were dedicated to one thing life
got pretty boring, and they can’t do it! In this lifetime, they need to
have plenty of options to keep their lives interesting and to keep the
energy moving.
The potential drawback of always seeing life as an adventure is
that it can give them a superficial experience of the people they
encounter. They tend to miss out on the others’ depth—their history
and character, how they arrived at where they are now—they just
share an adventure with them and then move on. But only when
they take the time to find out about other people will they
experience the connectedness and peace of mind they are seeking.
Thus, it is to their advantage to slow down and be patient with those
around them—taking the time to ask the other person questions and
really connect.

SPONTANEITY

These folks love to be spontaneous—it makes them feel light
and happy! Spontaneity works for them sometimes, but it can also
be a hindrance in more intimate relationships. For instance, they
have a tendency to try and get together with others at the last
minute, and often the people they want to see are not available. It
would be to their benefit to recognize that a lot of people live with
more planning; if they really want to get together with someone,
they need to let that person know in advance. Often they figure if
that person can’t get together with them, it wasn’t “meant to be.”
These folks prefer spontaneity over planning because they don’t
know in advance if they’re really going to want to be with a certain
person. They prefer to be free to go in any direction—wherever the
energy is and wherever their sense of adventure takes them. But
they are learning that there are times when their love of spontaneity
doesn’t work for them, such as in business matters or when dealing
with people who don’t choose to play on a spontaneous wavelength.

RESTLESSNESS

Gemini North Node people are somewhat restless. But from past
life training, they still have the ability to focus 100 percent on
whatever occupation they are in—even if it won’t be long term. For
them, this is healthy. They feel they can’t afford to spend this whole
lifetime on any one thing, because it’s through a variety of
experiences that they are learning how to live in the world.
However, sometimes they get “stuck” in a profession. They may
be successful and make a good living, and on one level they’re
satisfied. Yet they know the best time to make a change is when
they’re feeling really good about themselves and when everything is
going well. Since this is a lifetime of learning and growing, and of
gathering and dispersing information, they think that if they don’t
voluntarily make a change when it’s time, life will assist them in
making changes. Yet these folks don’t lack boldness. They usually
have the self-confidence, optimism, and trust in life to take the
gamble and make the change themselves.
Often the changes Gemini North Node people make are based on
intuitive knowing. They have a sense of the next adventure that they
need to experience. Although their intuition guides them, they also
need to consider the logical route to follow in making these
changes, including others’ input. Otherwise their journey can be a
lot more difficult than necessary. This is not a “do it yourself”
lifetime for them—they need input from people who have had more
experience operating in society to help them reach their goals.
These folks must be wary not to get “bogged down” somewhere
because of their tendency to be more thorough than the situation
requires. They are learning to be content with a “temporary fix”
rather than the permanent solutions they sought in past lives. In
society, everything is continually changing. The idea is to keep life
moving in a positive direction by operating in a helpful way with
other people. If there is no motion in their life, they need to lighten
up and solve their problems in logical ways that may be suggested
by those around them. That will bring back the energy!
Solitude used to bring Gemini North Node people comfort in past
lives, but they know that this is incorrect for them now. That’s why
they’re coming back to society: to bring that internal harmony they
found by themselves into their interactions with others. They’re
learning how to maintain that harmony while being in relationships
with others, to extend the harmony outside of themselves.
But they are so introverted socially that this is difficult, and
they’re trying to evolve just through their internal computer. In
other words, they aren’t asking questions of others; instead, they’re
trying to formulate some kind of continuity through the thread of
connectedness that, in past lives, they firmly established within
themselves—the thread of inner peace and harmony.
Now they have re-entered society, and they are trying to maintain
that inner peace while interconnecting with others. This is why
temporary, superficial relationships can sometimes be good for
these folks. By only going to a certain depth, they can more easily
maintain their own sense of harmony when they are with another
person. Once they learn how to do it on a superficial level with
many different people, they can learn how to get more deeply
involved and still maintain the energy and harmony.

SLOWING DOWN

Gemini North Node people feel they have so much information
to give to others that all the messages to be delivered seem like a
burden. Yet their lives are not operating at the same speed as their
past lives when they were traveling alone. They need to slow
themselves down. After all, this is a people lifetime.
If these folks try to take shortcuts, they will end up taking the
long way around because they will have to go back and repeat
things. They should keep in mind that right where they are is where
they’re supposed to be, and the person right in front of them might
be the one who needs to hear their message. This can greatly relieve
the pressure they feel; but if they’re going too fast in order to get to
the next person, they won’t effectively deliver the first message, and
the weight of it will still be with them.
Another problem is that Gemini North Node people feel a
responsibility not only to deliver the message but also to see that the
other person understands it. In a way, this is correct. They are
Teachers in this lifetime, and their job is to deliver the message in a
way that others can understand. But if impatience takes hold of
them, they inadvertently try to force others to receive the message
rather than slowing to present it in the other person’s own
“language.” They need to focus on the fact that twelve messages
effectively delivered to a dozen people is worth hundreds of
messages that are not understood.

RESPECT FOR WORDS

More than any other nodal group, Gemini North Node people
have a tendency to stutter in their youth. This is because their minds
are traveling so fast and they’ve had so many lifetimes of silence
and meditation that they’re not used to talking. Their minds are
going ten times faster than their vocal apparatus. They’re
enthusiastic to communicate because they haven’t been in society
for so long and they’re happy to be part of it again, yet they’re
fearful because they don’t know how to relate. All that can
contribute to a tendency to stutter. Once again, slowing down to
meet another person’s “wavelength” facilitates transmitting a lot of
information in a short time with fewer words.
Stuttering can have a useful purpose in other ways. It forces these
folks to find alternative words in case their first choice doesn’t
come out right. This makes them more aware of slowing down and
accurately saying what they mean: It teaches them to respect words
and the art of using them to pinpoint exactly what they mean. By
forcing themselves to use exact words to convey their meaning,
these folks are channeling their highly creative mental energy
constructively in their relationships with others.
They have so much mental energy that if they don’t have respect
for the power of words, the result is frustration. It’s very important
for them not to blurt things out; taking the time to find the correct
words channels their energy and gives them the focus they need.
They know exactly what they want to say, but it can be difficult to
make themselves understood. These folks see others communicating
clearly, and they don’t know why they have so much trouble. In
fact, they enjoy movies with interesting, involved dialogue, since
they learn from watching what people say and how they say it.
The most important thing for these folks to remember is to “slow
down.” They need to be sure that what they say is being understood
by all concerned, point by point, rather than blurting out a series of
ideas before the first one has been accepted. For example, if they
say: “I have not had happy experiences in foreign travel,” they
should pause and see how those around them respond. If others
invalidate their statement by pointing out how much fun the Gemini
North Node should have had in Tahiti, they need to stop and clarify
what they said originally.
Perhaps they could say: “I’m not saying that foreign travel is
unpleasant for everyone, but it’s not where I, personally, have the
most fun.” No one can invalidate another’s personal experience, as
long as they make it clear that they are not saying it is the truth for
everyone. After taking the time to clarify the first point, they may
realize that they can learn from others’ different experiences. They
may ask: “What have your experiences of foreign travel been like?”
These folks are better off when they try to see how others view life
in order to expand their own perceptions.

TIMING

Gemini North Node people are learning to think before they
speak. They are also learning how important it is to wait for the
proper timing to make their point. Even if Gemini North Node
offers the other person the perfect answer to a problem, it won’t do
any good if that person is not ready to receive it. And if the other
person is not receptive, these folks need to let it go until the next
opening presents itself. They should focus on rapport and goodwill,
which they can offer only if they have no personal investment in the
communication. When they are invested in the other person
accepting and acknowledging what they have to say, that investment
translates into an intensity that defeats them and may seem like
preaching or combativeness to the other person. These folks are
caring people who want to help, but sometimes their greatest caring
shows in their willingness to support the other person—even in
moments when that person does not seem to understand them.

RELATIONSHIPS

NEED FOR FREEDOM

Gemini North Node people feel a tremendous need for freedom
in this incarnation. If this drive is prompting them to meet new
people, it is healthy for them and will result in an increase in their
vitality. However, if the urge for freedom is based on listening to
their “freedom tapes” or running away from the challenge of
connecting with others, the result will be restlessness and
loneliness.

FEAR OF CONNECTING

When others “push their buttons” and upset these folks, their
reaction is to turn off completely and retreat to their “mountaintop.”
They feel it makes them weak to connect with people, and
subconsciously they fear being deeply understood by another
person. Also, it’s frustrating for them to go through the work of
sharing their truths. Although truth comes all too easily to them,
they have great difficulty translating it for others in a way that can
be understood and appreciated.
Since Gemini North Node people are learning how to listen to
others, asking questions is a good habit for them. Being a good
listener is all about asking questions and being interested in the
other person’s life; when these folks are engaged in this process,
they are happy and peaceful. They have a fear of deeply, genuinely
connecting with others; but when they do it, the feelings of
acceptance and completion are deeply satisfying. They can
reconnect with the tranquility they worked so hard to attain in past
lives.
For success in close relationships, they need to start by admitting
they have been in a “cocoon.” They need to rise above fear and
declare their intention: that they want to come out of the cocoon to
connect with the other person—not only on the level of hopes and
dreams, but also fears and doubts. Then when they reveal
themselves in conversation, they can truly be honest. They will not
just share their buoyant, optimistic outlook about the way things
should be—they will share how life really is for them on a day-today basis and talk about their own challenges. Being receptive to
others can really help them achieve victories in their daily lives that
they could never have accomplished alone.
COMMITMENT
Most of these folks want to “settle down” in a permanent,
committed marriage relationship, but one part of them
simultaneously fears this kind of permanence. They want to be free
to grow and change, move around, and do different things. If they
could connect with another person who has the same temperament,
they might have the best of both worlds. But if they enter a
relationship that limits their freedom, it generally doesn’t work out.
Gemini North Node people do not relate easily to the word
“commitment” in their relationships. What they are committed to is
the thread of Truth and harmony within themselves. They do not
want their philosophy tampered with, and they are not sure how to
become fully committed to another person without merging their
beliefs. They feel their truths are what make them who they are.
However, they can live with a person of dissimilar beliefs as long as
both people are open and accepting of each other’s philosophies.
These folks are also reluctant to do anything that limits their
interactions. They are learning how to relate and how to reintegrate
themselves into society, and they need to experience a lot of
different people in order to expand their awareness of how to do
this. They want to bring the awareness of Truth and that feeling of
inner harmony into society, and to expand that thread of continuity
to include others. As they “practice” with different people in
different situations, they gain more confidence in their ability to
maintain their own inner happiness while interacting with others.
Then they can allow people to get closer, because they know they’ll
be able to maintain their harmony.
Thus, for Gemini North Node people, entering a committed
relationship can take longer because they lose their inner sense of
peace if they go too deep, too quickly. Marriage or a commitment
that would restrict them from interacting with others is actually
counterproductive to their larger goals. They need a partner who
supports their need to move through society. They need a lot of “in
the field” experience to fully manifest their potential. This does not
mean that monogamy is counterproductive for them—it is the need
to interact mentally with a variety of different people that must not
be limited.

ACTING ON ASSUMPTIONS

Of all the “tricksters” in their subconscious, the one that most
often sabotages relationships for Gemini North Node people is the
tendency to assume. When they act without gathering facts or
sharing information with others, they set themselves up for
disappointment. When in doubt, they need to talk to the other
person and listen without judgment. When they assume others know
that “all is well,” they often get into trouble. When they check
things out on a daily basis—finding out how the other person is and
giving information about how they are—they will be much happier.
To experience successful relationships, they must go out of their
way to keep the lines of communication open.
LACK OF COMMUNICATION
When these folks are in a relationship, they tend to assume that
others know what they are feeling and experience what they are
experiencing. For example, I had a client who spent an absolutely
beautiful, perfect night with a man. He never contacted her
afterwards, and she assumed that he had experienced something
different than she did. But the fact is, she doesn’t know! There
could have been a hundred reasons why he didn’t call her: He may
have lost her phone number; he may have been in another
relationship that he hadn’t completed; something may have come up
that he had to take care of first and then he felt embarrassed to call
after so long; or her conclusion may have been correct. But her best
bet would have been to pick up the phone, ask him how his life was
going, share with him how much she enjoyed the evening, and find
out why he didn’t call her. These folks need to apply some of their
faith in positive outcomes and take charge of creating positive
results in their own lives.
When they’re in a relationship, Gemini North Node people often
don’t call the other person for extended periods of time. If they’re
going through anything negative or are unsure of something in their
life, they don’t want to get in touch because they don’t want to have
to say: “Actually, my boyfriend just left me,” or “They took my
credit cards away.” They want to wait until they’ve “got it together”
so they can share the positive—they don’t want to communicate
when they’re not at their best.
Naturally, a lot of people interpret this lack of communication as
a lack of interest. These folks have lost in many a romantic
relationship due to lack of communication, when the other person
assumes they aren’t interested and gets involved with someone else.
If they are truly interested in maintaining a relationship, they cannot
assume the other person knows that “all is well.” They need to pick
up the phone or send a card on a regular basis to maintain the
connection. If they are going through a period of doubt or
uncertainty, they could communicate that: “Well, I hesitated to call
you because I’m not ready to see you right now. I need to complete
some things in my life, but I wanted to let you know I’m thinking
about you and I wanted to see how you’re doing.”
If there’s a misunderstanding, these folks need to take
responsibility for straightening it out. They might also find it
helpful to alert others to potential problems: “Sometimes I don’t
heat what people say because my mind jumps ahead. If you think I
haven’t understood you, please let me know because I want to
communicate clearly with you.” Gemini North Node people can be
thinking something and assume it has been understood by other
people. It’s a shock to these folks to find out that the way they
interpret the world is not the way everyone else interprets it. It’s
essential for them to double-check with others and be conscious of
verbalizing what is on their minds. If they tactfully make others
aware of their various thoughts and ideas, they will find their
relationships shifting in new and positive ways.

COMMUNICATING FEELINGS

When Gemini North Node people take the time to accurately
share their point of view about their own personal experiences,
others are deeply moved. As a result, Gemini North Node people
experience the joy of acceptance and empathy. When they share
things without having to be “right” or prove a point, the results will
be heartfelt. To reach others on a soul level, they must speak the
truth about what they are experiencing.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position whose
girlfriend made some unexpected charges against one of his credit
cards at a clothing store. He confronted her, and even though he
already knew it involved clothes, he wanted her to confess what she
had spent the money on. When she said “household items,” he
became so obsessed with making her tell him the truth that she
ended the relationship. These folks hate lies, and they tend to
respond with self-righteous indignation when they think they have
been lied to. However, in this case the man’s response was also not
the truth. He should have said: “There’s something I’d like to
discuss that’s very important to me. I found some unexpected
charges on my credit card, so I checked to see if there had been a
mistake. There were three credit slips for clothing with your
signature on them. You know I’ve always been generous—I want
you to have nice clothes—but I feel hurt and betrayed because you
didn’t ask before using my credit card.”
Then, from that honesty, the next level of truth could have
emerged. By putting forth the facts and his honest feelings, he
would have opened himself to see her character more accurately.
Either she would have changed to be in greater ethical alignment
with him, or he would have seen that she was an inappropriate
partner for an intimate relationship. These folks have to give others
a chance to grow ethically. They can open space for this only by
being willing to act with integrity themselves—honestly revealing
their feelings instead of trying to force the other person to be
truthful.

SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS

Gemini North Node people have a strong resistance to other
people’s “truth”—especially the people they deal with on a daily
basis. This can be one of the reasons why people feel they have to
lie to them—these folks may not really want to hear what is going
on with the other person. But their disinclination to listen can result
in painful misunderstandings with those they care about most.
Even though they say they want “the truth,” they become upset
when others tell them. But if they don’t really want to listen to the
truth, it will have the effect of encouraging people to lie to them. No
one wants to be “made wrong,” and these folks can be so selfrighteous about who is right and who is not that others don’t want to
be around them.
Gemini North Node people are learning to value happy rapport
with others above the compulsive pursuit of philosophical Truth.
This also requires that they suspend judgment. When these folks
judge another person, they are not taking into account the other
person’s code of ethics. To understand this person better, these folks
need to ask questions: “What did you study in school? What was
your first job?” These folks have a tendency to see things so much
in the present that they assume people’s lives have always been the
same—yet it’s fascinating to them when others share what brought
them to their present circumstances.
If they are seeking “truth”—or factual accuracy—from another
person, they should always be very clear with themselves first about
their own motive. Is it to learn about the other person and help that
person reveal himself or herself more clearly? Or is their motive to
“be right”? If their underlying motive is to listen, they will win; if
their motive is to be right, they will lose.
Gemini North Node people must grant others equality if they
want them to communicate honestly. And honesty evolves—it
doesn’t necessarily happen in the first few encounters. As these
folks allow people the space to become more honest with
themselves, the honesty they are seeking will emerge. In personal
relationships, they need to communicate how important honesty is
to them in a constructive way that does not alienate the other
person. For example, they could begin in subtle but clear ways: “We
have more fun when we are honest with each other than we do
when we are trying to deceive each other. Honesty brings us closer
together and helps us accept each other.”

COMMUNICATING DICHOTOMIES

If these folks force themselves to give someone a yes or no
answer when actually there’s a conflict going on in their own minds,
whatever they say will be a lie because the truth is that they haven’t
found the answer yet. So the “answer”—and the correct thing to
communicate to the other person—is that they can see two
alternatives and don’t know which one to choose. Once the other
person understands this, the Gemini North Node person can
experiment with one path and keep the option to choose the other if
it doesn’t work out.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position who was
offered the choice of working in an office or at home. She wanted
the peace and solitude of working at home but was afraid that if she
didn’t go to the office her level of productivity might drop. She
needed to tell her boss exactly what she told me: “I would like to
work at home, and keeping my productivity level high is very
important to me. So I would like to experiment with working at
home, and if my productivity level drops, I would like to come back
to the office.”
In this incarnation, it’s perfectly fine for Gemini North Node
people to change their minds. They were not allowed to do this in
past lives, so they have a sense that they are supposed to say: “This
is the way it is.” But now they are learning to see more options, and
as they get more information they will naturally alter their course to
take advantage of the new input.
So when these folks express their decision (or their opinion at the
moment) they should try not to present their views too rigidly, so
that they have the option of changing their minds. Instead of saying:
“This is incorrect and it’s always going to be incorrect,” it’s better if
they say: “This is incorrect. I might change my mind, but this is the
way it appears to me now.” Their views may change, so it’s okay
for these folks not to have a final answer.

ROMANCE
VARIETY

Gemini North Node people have the karma of connecting with a
variety of different people: nerds, jocks, high school dropouts,
college graduates. The people they get involved with are a mixed
bag. Sometimes they wonder who their “type” is because they relate
on a surface level with all these various people! When they gain a
greater sense of their spiritual identity and figure out how to share
messages with people, being with so many different kinds of people
begins to make sense to them. When their “truth” is bounced off so
many different surfaces, they can see it in many different ways. This
helps them know when a concept is really “right,” and they gain joy
from seeing that concept work through the varied perceptions of
others.
For example, they may ask themselves: “What is ‘Poor’?” Then
they watch people who are financially poor and discover that in
some cases, being poor gives a person better values than if they
were rich. Their exciting discoveries stem from their openness to
compare their ideas with what is actually going on in the
environment. The harmony they seek comes from integrating the
other person’s views with their own truth. Their challenge is to
acknowledge an energy that encompasses variety.
When Gemini North Node people begin experiencing their
sexuality, their tendency is to seek a variety of people to interact
with. They have been deprived of the warmth of human
relationships for so many incarnations that they can be like a kid in
a candy store: They want to try it all! Actually, in their case and
within reasonable limits, this is not a mistake—especially during
their early years. They are learning how to relate with others while
maintaining and sharing that thread of Truth within themselves.
Variety can help them learn to share it without losing it.
These folks have a well-developed sense of integrity from past
lives and would never say anything to mislead another person. They
don’t say “I love you and I’ll stay with you forever” with the motive
of getting the other person under the covers. However, due to guilt
from their religious training in past lives, they are plagued by a
voice that says: “I know this is wrong—I should only be with one
person.” There may come a time when that path is correct for them,
but that decision needs to be based on maintaining their truth while
they are with the other person without allowing themselves to slip
into isolating self-righteousness. When dating a variety of people,
they are charming and maintain their “good behavior” to keep the
connection progressing. When they can retain that same “good
behavior” while being with only one person, then they are really on
track.
While they are still in the process of dating a variety of people,
their motive needs to be clear. If they are only trying to ease their
loneliness through sex, the result will be temporary satisfaction that
night, but an exaggeration of the empty feeling the next day. To
avoid that destructive cycle, they need to keep expanding their
mental connection with the other person as a foundation for
physical intimacy. They should establish an emotional connection
prior to a physical relationship. Then the physical interaction will be
a joyful expression of that truth, and they won’t feel empty or
guilty.

OBSESSIVENESS

Gemini North Node people can be obsessive in their
attachments to others, particularly in romantic/sexual relationships.
If they become overly committed to one idea or one person, they
should deflect their obsession in order to regain a peaceful,
constructive state of mind. If they are obsessed with an idea, they
need to consider another point of view to balance their thinking. If
they are becoming obsessive about another person, they need to find
a platonic friend to spend time with as a balance for the more
intense relationship. Then they can create success in the primary
relationship. Realizing they have options always works for them.
Conversely, these folks can also go to the extreme of
nonattachment. In this lifetime, they tend to want to be the
Philosopher King again—but when they get to the top of the
mountain, who else is going to be there? One of their most
dangerous obsessions is the tendency to internalize their thoughts,
which causes their relationships to become secondary. They can fail
to even acknowledge other people because they are too intensely
focused on their own thought process. “My thoughts are so justified,
so meaningful.” They may totally disregard other people’s input,
and that’s where they can really be hurt. They won’t find the variety
they need if they aren’t open to the viewpoints of others.
Gemini North Node people need to learn to give greater weight to
human relationships; they need to spend more time and energy
getting involved with people, rather than focusing on goals. The
people may in fact end up being the goal, if they can just stop
overthinking.

SUPERFICIALITY

These folks are great with first meetings: the introductory small
talk, the charm, the superficial connection. But they are like a
professional greeter in a restaurant—they know how to make the
other person feel welcome, say the first few lines that everyone will
relate to, make the first gestures and smiles; but after that, they’re
lost. In a romantic situation they often get nervous and either go off
by themselves or try to move things to the physical level right away.
These folks are very comfortable with their bodies, so once they
start connecting physically they feel at ease again. Unfortunately, if
a mental affinity and mutual understanding haven’t been established
first, their sexual connections are often brief and only temporarily
satisfying; they do not lead to deep and rewarding relationships.
These folks have had a lot of past lifetimes of high adventure, as
well. When they were headed toward some mountaintop to look for
Truth, an attractive person would come across their path and they
would have a sexual adventure with them. But these folks weren’t
interested in settling down—they were in pursuit of Truth. To
develop nurturing human bonds or take romantic relationships
deeper would have been contrary to their goals. In this lifetime,
such behavior leads to isolation, but these folks continue to run
from deep connections with others. They want to be close to others,
but they don’t know how to do it. And this awkwardness can be
very frustrating for them, especially in romantic situations.
However, Gemini North Node people need to know that they
have a tremendous gift for making connections with people once
they get the idea. The key is to become genuinely interested in—
and curious about—the other person. How do they think? What is
important to them? What are their interests? What message does the
other person have for them, and what message do they have for the
other person?

CONSCIOUS INTERACTIONS

Gemini North Node people have a tendency to be too direct, and
this gets them into trouble. They need to remember to look more
deeply at what they really want to convey, and then communicate in
a responsible, sensitive way.
For example, I had a client who had been married for twenty-six
years to a Gemini North Node husband. One day he came home and
said—with no prior warning—“I’ve met my soul mate and I want a
divorce.” He had met this woman only two weeks earlier! The
message totally shocked his wife. It took them more than a year of
intense confrontation and soul searching to find out what the
problems were that led to his drastic pronouncement. In fact, the
encounter turned out to be a diversion—what this man really
wanted was to revitalize his relationship with his wife. They had a
good marriage based on mutually strong feelings of love, and as of
this writing they are still together. He got what he wanted: His
relationship with his wife was transformed. However, his wife has
never recovered emotionally, and she is unable to completely
forgive him for what he put her through.
Gemini North Node people are learning that when they speak
without considering the effects, they can be unnecessarily hurtful to
others. This is especially the case when what they say isn’t really
the underlying truth, but simply an attempt to hurt the other person
or get attention. They must clarify in their own minds what they’re
feeling and then decide on the best way to say it. Is their motive to
rekindle the relationship, or to make the other person feel guilty?
Often, when these folks speak with harsh directness they are not
really communicating how they feel. They need to focus on
resolving problems in a more responsible way.
In the above example, rather than blurting out a conclusion he
hadn’t thought through in advance, the husband could have talked
with his wife and said: “Look, a woman I am attracted to has come
across my path. I haven’t become involved with her yet, but I’m
considering it because I’m so unhappy in our marriage.” Telling the
truth in a factual, logical way would have gotten him what he
wanted—a revitalization of his marriage—without devastating his
wife. They could have worked together to resolve the underlying
problems in their relationship. And although they did end up staying
together, the shock and anxiety were so great that the relationship
was never completely healed.
Gemini North Node people need to put themselves in the other
person’s place and see what approach would make the other person
feel comfortable. Using words with respect helps these folks
connect in positive ways with other people; it is a key part of
maintaining happy relationships.

GOALS

DELIVERING AND RECEIVING MESSAGES

Gemini North Node people are learning how to deliver the
messages that they are meant to pass on, and how to hear the
messages they need to receive. To do this most effectively, they
must discriminate between the different functions of the mind and
emphasize that aspect which promotes a factual, logical orientation.

INFORMATION VERSUS INTUITION

These folks have spent many past lives developing their
philosophies and relying on their intuition. In their private, solitary
search for Truth, intuitive knowing was their best guide. However,
now that they are back in society, factual information will help them
connect in a way that restores their inner peace. If they make
decisions based solely on intuition, it almost always results in
isolation from others. If they feel uncertain or upset about a
situation, they need to seek more information. It’s easy for these
folks to misunderstand, and they are quick to feel rejection when
none was intended.
However, if they have a strong intuitive feeling about something
they should not just push it aside. Their best bet is to take the time
to ask questions that will ease their mind: “I heard what you said,
but for some reason I have an uneasy feeling about this. I want to
get some more information so I’m sure what I’m getting into.”
These folks always benefit from gathering the information that
gives them the reassuring, warm feeling of “truth” inside.

LOGIC VERSUS SPONTANEITY

In this incarnation, making decisions based on spontaneous
impulses does not work for Gemini North Node people. If they have
a spontaneous urge to get on a plane and go to Peru, they need to
stop and consider the idea from a logical base. Decisions made from
a logical base, rather than from trust or high hopes, will work out
best for them in the long run. In this lifetime, Gemini North Node
people cannot take shortcuts without taking all the facts into
account.
These folks are also learning the value of applying logic to daily
situations. For example, if one of their truths is a belief in the value
of friendship, they need to hold their goal in mind—“creating
friendship”—and then logically observe what kinds of behavior
create friendship. How does a friendship develop out of a casual
acquaintance? What common denominators exist in successful
friendships? Logic will tell them what behaviors work best to create
the friendships they seek. Above all, logic is soothing for them. It
provides them with a sequential process through which things can
work out, and this is calming for them. When they use logic, they
feel connected and see how they can maneuver effectively through
society. In new situations, Gemini North Node people can deal with
their anxiety by logically strategizing how to proceed, because
planning gives them the feeling of continuity that they need.

LISTENING

Gemini North Node people are here to circulate the energy of
Truth through society. When they are unable to spark another
person to see a higher truth, it’s often because they’re not listening
to what that person is really saying. They aren’t responding
appropriately. When they accurately perceive where the other
person is coming from in the conversation, then they can match
their words and timing to connect with the other person on his or
her level to translate their truth so the other person can hear it.
When they respond appropriately, the feeling of disjointedness will
evaporate. This requires patience on their part. It also requires them
to be sufficiently excited about the possibilities in the potential
connection to invest the time and energy.
But sometimes these folks are judgmental about who is “worthy”
of their patience. The irony is that they have the capacity to create
true communication with almost everyone they meet! They are
accustomed to looking for people who are also seeking Truth, but in
this lifetime they cannot speak exclusively with other philosophers.
They need to listen to everyday people: the mail carrier or the clerk
at the grocery store. There is an endless variety of people they can
connect with and they must find those for whom they have
messages.
But they have to trust the universe to bring the right people to
them. Whenever there’s a miscommunication, that’s the person with
whom they need to have patience. Miscommunication is a red flag
for these folks, signaling them to slow down and pay attention to
whoever is right in front of them.

DIPLOMACY

The main purpose for Gemini North Node in this lifetime is
teaching. When others are not aware of the importance of Truth on a
daily basis, it gives these folks an opportunity to gently teach what
they have learned. The operative word here is “gently” . . . or
“tactfully,” “lovingly,” “diplomatically,” “humorously,” or
“sociably.” They need to share their message in a way that does not
cast the others as “wrong.” Then the others will not feel defensive
and will be able to successfully receive the message.
Gemini North Node people are naturally helpful; when they see
someone in trouble, they are among the first to offer assistance.
However, their tone of voice and their delivery can sound like
“preaching” when they don’t realize that the certainty behind their
ideas has a self-righteous quality. They truly want to give the other
person the answer to the problem at hand. But they are learning that
even if they do have the solution, the other person won’t be able to
hear it if their delivery is offensive. Just like trying to give medicine
to a child, coating it with sugar makes it easier on everyone. These
people need to learn tact: how to package their ideas in a brief,
informative way that others are willing to swallow.

SEEKING ADVICE

Gemini North Node people are reluctant to seek advice, because
they fear it will show they are unsure and they think they already
know what the other person will say. Actually, the other person may
tell them something totally different from what they expect, and it
may be the very thing they need to resolve their quandary! Other
people can indeed help these folks to see things from different
angles and give them an opening for new insights.
They are always surprised to discover that others are aware of
what’s going on with them even though they haven’t divulged the
fact that they are having a problem. They think if they show an
optimistic face, others will accept that everything is fine. In truth,
others are often quite sensitive to these people’s moods and may
have just the piece of information that will be helpful.

EXPANSION AND INTEGRATION
EDUCATION

Formal education is good for Gemini North Node people, and
they enjoy acquiring new knowledge and new information. This
kind of broad learning helps them to see the “big picture” and puts
them in touch with the way society thinks. It offers them structure
and exposes them to various points of view, which keeps them from
remaining stuck in their own “truth.” Reading also enables them to
practice seeing life from the perspective of someone else’s mindset.
These folks are like empty hard disks on a computer: They are
hungry for information. They like their reading to cover many
different subjects; otherwise they might get bored with it. As well as
expanding their knowledge, reading gives them a variety of subjects
to talk about with others, which makes them more confident in their
ability to relate.

NEW ENVIRONMENTS

It’s healthy for these folks to put themselves in situations where
they are surrounded by different people, because each one teaches
them something new about themselves. They often see things in a
moralistic or spiritual way, so they ate willing to take lessons from
others to heart. New situations force them to question who they are
and what they believe in. So they have to start meeting people,
asking questions, reading: in other words, doing everything they can
to learn about each new situation. It’s another chance for them to
see the world from other people’s points of view.
If Gemini North Node people try to settle down and avoid
personal growth, something will happen externally to propel them
toward a new challenge. Since “the writing is on the wall” in this
respect, it’s wiser for them to choose to go where their intuition is
pointing and willingly move through life. But these folks can be
stubborn about learning the lessons they are scheduled to master.
They need to be aware of this tendency and be consciously open to
changing—so as to avoid the unnecessary mental or physical pain
of getting a “wake-up call.” When they choose change, the new
situations motivate them and put them back into the flow of life.

WRITING

One of the best ways Gemini North Node people can experience
the integration they’re seeking is through the process of writing—a
journal, books, articles, etc.—on a regular basis. The physical
process of taking pen in hand and writing down what they are
thinking grounds them in a confident, stable way. Writing calms
their internal restlessness, releasing the tension and anxiety in a
form that brings them peace.
These folks are extremely talented writers, although they may not
recognize this until much later when they look back over what they
have written. They have an ability to clarify thoughts on paper in a
simple way that actually communicates far beyond the words. Also,
when they begin to write about their problems or experiences, it
focuses their subconscious and the answer they were looking for
comes through them and onto the page!
Writing is a tremendous release for them. If they are upset with
someone, or feel misunderstood, one of the best therapies is to write
the other person a letter. Even if they never send it, simply writing it
makes them feel much better. They can even write: “It’s been a
tough day—I feel so stressed out.” The simple act of writing down
whatever they are noticing in that moment will discharge some of
that intense mental energy. In this way they release heavy mental
stress and open themselves to solutions that bring them peace.
For these folks, writing can even be a good profession. There’s so
much flexibility and room for growth that it can be the “one thing”
they are looking for. They needn’t rely on a corporation or a
structure; they can be anywhere and be themselves and do their
life’s work—and that appeals to them.

SPEAKING

Gemini North Node people are so used to silence that in large
groups they may be shy about sharing their message—yet they can
make the very best of orators. After they have listened to the ideas
of the other group members, they may notice a discrepancy between
what is being stated and what is actually going on. In this case, it is
their job to share the truth of their factual experience. They may feel
such energy and passion, that they aren’t sure they’ve said the right
thing. But if they are compelled to say something to put things into
alignment, they should go ahead and share it.
The key for successfully doing this is to first acknowledge that
they have heard and understood what the other person said, and then
respond positively about it to validate the other person (for
example, “You spoke eloquently, with heartfelt sincerity, with
courage,” etc.). It can also help if these folks use the other person’s
own words to form a connection with them. As long as they first
acknowledge what the other person has said, the other person will
be able to acknowledge what they say.

TEACHING

In this incarnation, Gemini North Node people are here to teach.
They are here to bring the Truths, principles, and practical
application of ethics into society. They understand universal law
and want to help others learn to apply it in practical ways in daily
situations.
They are learning that Truth lies behind the words, and that they
must listen carefully to others’ words in order to understand the
questions that others are asking. If they let go of their ideas of Truth
and really listen, they will automatically tune in to the other
person’s belief system and spontaneously say—through a sincere
question or a new piece of information—those words that will shift
the perspective for both of them to a fresh recognition of Truth.
When Gemini North Node people view themselves as teachers,
rather than as philosophers, their entire experience of sharing Truth
shifts and becomes a total joy for them. As teachers, they don’t
expect others to know what they know, which gives them more
patience in relaying their messages. When they assist another
person in discovering his or her own truth, they experience harmony
and share the warm feeling that comes when Truth is present.
As teachers, these folks have to divorce themselves from
prejudicial viewpoints and allow the other person to think freely,
without trying to guide the other to a conclusion that’s identical
with their own. It’s the difference between a true question and a
rhetorical question. A true question prompts the other person to
answer in harmony with his or her own inner truth, whereas a
rhetorical question maneuvers the other person into reaching certain
pre-established conclusions. Rhetorical questions do not work for
these people; true questions and logic are gifts that Gemini North
Node people bring to help others find a higher level of perception.
When they act as true teachers, these folks behave in a way that
creates a win/win situation for everyone.

FITTING INTO SOCIETY

Gemini North Node people are learning to value human
relations and the importance of maintaining goodwill in their daily
interactions with others. They have a tendency to be so aware of
their own Truth and their own aims that they are likely to forget the
importance of treating others gently.
Drawing on their many lifetimes of spiritual truth, these folks can
open the doors to honest, self-revealing communication. When they
do, a feeling of timelessness blesses and enlightens everyone
involved. The atmosphere is charged with what feels like a soul-tosoul communication. Afterwards there is a feeling of: “Let’s
celebrate tonight . . . let’s cry and laugh over the past . . . let’s plan
and dream about the future . . . let’s just be right now and share
together.” Gemini North Node people have the gift of opening an
entirely new level of communication when they are willing to reveal
their intimate selves—without having to be “right” or be the hero.

QUESTIONS

Questions are an invaluable tool for these people. It can be
better for them to ask a question than to come up with the answer. If
they’re not able to develop rapport with someone, they should ask
the other person a question (not a rhetorical question, but a true
question), honestly seeking to understand what the other person is
thinking. The other person will often stumble into his or her own
truth in the process of answering the question, because Gemini
North Node people have Truth in their energy field!
As long as their motive is to connect, the right way of
communicating—what to say and how to say it—automatically
becomes clear to them. Until they get the hang of it, this can be
difficult and requires a conscious effort. They must force
themselves to listen and to ask questions—and it can be hard for
them to control that restlessness inside. Yet for Gemini North Node
people, asking questions to gain more information is very
important. It helps them feel “in the moment” and involved in the
interaction.
The misunderstanding that causes difficulty for these folks is the
idea that there are two kinds of talking: regular conversation in
which people simply talk about their daily lives, and much deeper
connections that can only occur while discussing a subject that is
soul searching and significant. The irony is that Gemini North Node
people can have real communication—deep and meaningful sharing
with another person—without talking about life and death,
philosophy, or major decisions. The connection can occur through
talking about the simple things of life, but these folks must be
engaged and asking questions. When they do engage in this way,
they suddenly find that everyone wants to be around them—because
it’s such a joy for others to talk with them. In turn, they want to be
around lots of different people because they enjoy the variety of
experiences they can tap into.
However, the process involves giving up control. Gemini North
Node people are very good with small talk, but if they ask a friend:
“Why are you going to Chicago?” they don’t know what the other
person is going to say. That means they won’t know how to
respond. Because the other person is going to give them new
information, they’re essentially giving control of the conversation to
that person. It feels good to them on one level, but they’re always
afraid they’re not going to know what to say next! Yet when they do
let go and allow the other person to control the conversation, what
they want to say comes naturally, and their real selves come out in a
positive way.
When these folks take a chance, release control, ask others
questions about their lives, and remain open to connecting—
somehow the connection happens. They can call on their natural
trust that the universe knows what it’s doing when it moves energy
between two people. Ironically, they feel no fear at all when the
other person asks them questions—it gives them a chance to share
their truth!
Gemini North Node people want to achieve a higher level of
interaction with the other person. They want to expand beyond
where either could have gone on their own. But only through really
communicating with others can new, expanded ideas and
resolutions become apparent.

SOCIAL GRACES

These folks have been isolated for so long on mountaintops that
they have forgotten the nuances of how to relate with others. They
can be like a bull in a china shop, rushing to accomplish their
purpose with a total lack of awareness of the delicate feelings of
those around them. They are unaware of social graces and good
manners because they are not used to living in society, where people
generally get their way in a manner that evokes the support of
others. Caring and taking the time to not alienate others is valuable,
as isolation would create unnecessary obstacles to meeting one’s
needs. These folks are learning: Social graces will empower them to
live in society and gain the benefits.

BODY LANGUAGE

These folks benefit by being aware of others’ reactions and
body language. They are often more intent on their message than on
the effect of their words. They may say something and then notice
that the other person looks shocked. Rather than let it pass, they
should check with the other person: “I noticed that you just stepped
backward. Did I say something that hurt or offended you?” If the
other person says “yes,” the Gemini North Node could say: “Well,
my intention was not to hurt you, so I think we’ve had a
misunderstanding. What was it you thought I said?” Nearly all the
problems they have in relationships can be traced back to careless
communication.
In this lifetime, these folks are learning about themselves and
about what it means to be human. As they experience themselves in
different situations, their understanding of human nature grows.
Moreover, all their different life experiences teach them something
about themselves. As they understand themselves more deeply and
recognize the contradictions that are part of the human experience,
they come to accept the different facets of their own nature. This
opens the way to understanding and accepting the contradictions
within others, and they are welcomed back into the family of
humankind.

HEALING THEME SONG

As music is an empowering medium for emotionally supporting
us in taking risks, I have written a healing song for each nodal
group to help shift its energy in a positive way

BETWEEN YOU AND ME

The message of this song is meant to effortlessly shift Gemini
North Nodes’ attention from their own concept of Truth to the bond
they naturally share with those around them. From that base, a
joyous combination of mutual understanding and genuine
connections with others becomes possible, and they can finally
experience the energy of Truth they have been seeking.

Selected lyrics:

Between you and me there’s a memory of trusting
And being let down in the end
Between you and me there is misunderstanding
Ready to come up again . . .

Yet—between you and me there’s a magnet that draws us
Between you and me there’s a path and a promise
Between you and me are the feelings that bond us
Between you and me—there is Love!

These lyrics are set to music and sung in their entirety on
the CD and cassette tape “Unfolding As It Should.”

North Node in Cancer

and North Node in the 4th House

OVERVIEW

Attributes to Develop
Work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents

Noticing and validating feelings
Empathy
Nurturing and supporting others
Building one’s own foundation and security
Honest disclosure of feelings and insecurities
Humility
Accepting others’ foibles and fluctuating moods
without judgment
Staying centered in one’s own feelings

Tendencies to Leave Behind

Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can
help make life easier and more enjoyable

Needing to control everything and everyone
Compulsion to take charge without fully
understanding the situation
Ignoring the process; being too focused on the
goal
Feeling completely responsible for everything
Hiding feelings and fears in intimate
relationships
Doing things to gain respect or admiration from
others
Taking care of others’ feelings and neglecting
one’s own
Doing what is “socially acceptable” rather than
what is totally honest
Thinking that things have to be difficult in order
to be important

ACHILLES’ HEEL/TRAP TO AVOID/THE BOTTOM LINE

The Achilles’ heel Cancer North Node people need to be aware
of is their need for control (“If only I can make them get their lives
together, then I can relax and be vulnerable”). But the truth is that
they can never control situations—or other people—enough to feel
that it’s safe to be themselves. When they try to take charge of
situations in other people’s lives without being invited, they are
inappropriately usurping others’ responsibilities.
The trap they need to avoid is an unending search for
acknowledgment (“If only others will recognize my contribution in
a respectful way, I can begin to feel good about myself”). But it’s a
bottomless pit: Others can never give enough recognition for them
to feel satisfied. Only when they acknowledge within themselves the
importance of the contributions they make (through nurturing others
in a supportive way) will they begin to feel fulfilled.
The bottom line is that they will never have enough authority to
feel that it’s safe to be vulnerable. At some point they must take a
chance and let others know the truth of who they are and how they
feel: their insecurities, fears of rejection and abandonment, and
feelings of inadequacy. The irony is that when they risk letting
others see who they truly are, they finally gain total safety—
because in revealing their feelings they’ve taken charge of
themselves on a deeper level.

WHAT THESE PEOPLE REALLY WANT

What these people really want is to be in absolute control of
every area of their lives all the time. They have an insatiable need to
think they have the power to succeed. To attain this goal, however,
these folks must stay in touch with their feelings and insecurities
and share the truth about themselves with others.
Acknowledging their insecurities will give Cancer North Node
people a stable base from which to create success in the outer
world, for they are no longer fighting themselves by trying to hide
or suppress their feelings. This gives them a calm, inner certainty
from which to accomplish their goals. And by acknowledging their
own emotions, they will develop an awareness of other people’s
feelings. As long as they remain aware and supportive of other
people, they will gain the support they require to help them on their
own path.

TALENTS/PROFESSION

Cancer North Node people have the gift of being able to nurture
and support others; therefore, any profession that gives them the
opportunity to nourish others (physically, mentally, or emotionally)
is a joy for them. Good choices would include dealing with food
(restaurants, hotels, hospitality, etc.), house repairs, and working in
the home. They also do very well selling or investing in real estate.
However, they must use their instincts in such investments and
follow their “hunches.”
Cancer North Node people also have a solid and accurate
business sense and an excellent capacity for bargaining and shrewd
negotiating. They instinctively know how to accomplish things and
succeed in business. However, when their profession involves using
only their business acumen, they are not happy because it is too
“dry.” Their profession should make use of their business instincts
only as a backdrop to nurture others in a practical, financially viable
way

HEALING AFFIRMATIONS SPECIFIC TO CANCER NORTH NODE

“When I try to control, I lose.”
“When I share my feelings, I win.”
“I win when I acknowledge the capacity of others
to take charge of their own lives.”
“It’s okay to let my feelings show.”
“It’s okay not to manage everything all the time.”
“No one can invalidate my feelings.”

PERSONALITY

PAST LIVES
DEPRIVATION

Many Cancer North Node people have had past incarnations in
highly structured monasteries, convents, or other places where they
were participants in strict, community-oriented religious
environments. They were separated from the normal flow of family
interactions. Because of limited experience with interdependence,
dealing with people’s moods, and acceptance of their own and
others’ natural human urges, they lack the instinctive ease of family
relationships that is common to the other nodal groups.
In past lives these folks were trained to repress their feelings,
instincts, sexual urges, and enjoyment of the physical senses.
Abstinence and discipline were foremost, and deprivation of the
joys of being human was rewarded with respect and promotion. In
this incarnation they still tend to put up a wall between themselves
and easy, earthy interaction with others. They are accustomed to
postponing the pleasure of life, and often postponement leads to
permanent denial.
These people have a “lofty goal,” and everything else is put on
the back burner until that goal has been realized. A feeling of
righteousness is attached to this goal, and they do not allow
themselves to be distracted by human temptations. The only
problem is that the goal is perpetual, an endless quest arising from
the subconscious desire to achieve spiritual heights. However,
because the goal is insatiable, these folks end up constantly striving,
with no time for relationships, fun, or really living.
Cancer North Node people have been trained throughout past
incarnations to suppress their “feeling” (that is, emotional)
responses to life to remain focused on the higher purpose they were
serving. But their hearts long to connect with the rest of humankind.
They yearn to belong and experience a sense of family with those
they love—but they feel awkward. They have had so many lifetimes
of disciplined training that they don’t know how to do it—they’re
ashamed to let their feelings out. Their insensitivity to others is a
product of their ingrained insensitivity to their own feelings.
However, in this incarnation, repressing their feelings in the name
of a higher purpose is contrary to the direction their souls need for
completion and fulfillment.

RESPECT

In past lives these folks achieved positions of public authority,
social prominence, and prestige. They were feudal lords, politicians,
businesspeople, and heads of households. Cancer North Node
people functioned as “the boss”; they managed others and took
responsibility for behaving in a way that epitomized social
correctness.
Owing to many incarnations of enjoying the spotlight, they are
still looking for their audience! Respect is important for these folks.
They tend to act from a motive of seeking respect from others. They
make tremendous personal sacrifices, stand for principles they
believe in at the expense of their own personal needs—and still get
no respect. They’re accustomed to being in authority, yet now no
one is following their directions—and they can’t figure it out. They
become frustrated because they don’t understand what is happening,
and over time this can harden their hearts.
In reality, their accomplishments stand on their own merit and are
their own reward. But Cancer North Node people are
subconsciously seeking recognition for the nobility of their
sacrifices. This makes completing any task unnecessarily difficult.
If they simply release the need to “get credit,” they can reach their
goals and enjoy personal pleasure along the way.
This lifetime is simply not scheduled for them to win respect for
making personal sacrifices. When they use respect as a barometer of
whether they are “on path,” they get “off track” every time. In past
lives, respect was a valid indication for them. But they played those
public roles and held positions of authority in so many lifetimes that
they became lonely and isolated: so much responsibility and so little
personal nurturing, over and over again! Now their birth chart is set
up to not allow them to put accomplishment, respect, and honor
above other more personal aspects.
Cancer North Node people need to pay more attention to
organizing their lives in a way that meets personal needs as well as
long-range goals. In this lifetime these folks don’t have to maintain
an image for others. In fact, as they work to reach their goals just
because it makes them happy to do a good job and because the work
fills a public need—whether it’s for their own family or the entire
world—the recognition will be there. But if they go looking for it
directly, it takes them off track.
They are still masters of accomplishment. But if their motive for
accomplishment is to gain the respect of others, they will never be
happy with what they obtain because their need for respect is
insatiable—they never gain enough to be satisfied.
Ironically, the key to satisfaction for these folks is to learn to give
respect rather than demand it. When success in any area comes too
easily, these people tend to become ego centered and carried away
with their own importance. They may become careless and
unwittingly push away the very prize they were so eager to obtain.
It is essential for them to greet success with humble appreciation.
This will slow them down and put them in touch with the energy of
new beginnings. They need to learn to honor this time—the new
relationship, the new job, the new opportunity, the new home—and
to treat the initial stages with tender awareness. This will create a
solid foundation upon which success can be built. Once they slow
themselves down, they are naturally aware of the correct way to do
this.
When Cancer North Node people consciously respect and honor
something beyond themselves (the opportunities life brings, the
people who help them, etc.), a shift in their orientation occurs and
they approach people with a new attitude. They treat them with
care, attention, empathy, and meticulous clarity—creating a
situation that is positive for everyone involved. Rather than seeking
to gain respect, these folks need to orient themselves to giving
respect. If they are able to do this, their lives will shift in a magical,
mutually nurturing way.

GOAL ORIENTATION

For the sake of reaching an important goal, these folks will
sacrifice without complaint. Hard work is not foreign to them. They
are perfectly happy working 12-hour days, foregoing personal
pleasures and postponing relaxation. Moreover, they will personally
see to it that the job gets done successfully, regardless of the effort
required. However, they are used to being in authority, and as a
result they like to delegate details as soon as they are in a position to
do so. It’s not that they look down on “detail” work; they simply
want their attention clear so they can focus on the larger goal.
Cancer North Node people are masters at achieving goals. The
talent is so innate that it is almost subconscious. When they have a
goal in mind, they are continually alert for opportunities. They view
everything as a stepping-stone to the goal. However, if they do not
have a goal that they can commit to, their natural abilities are likely
to degenerate and the goal becomes one of controlling others and
maintaining the status quo.
These folks need to be more clear about what they want to
achieve to keep from subconsciously manipulating others in an
attempt to avoid getting what they don’t want. To do this, their pastlife goal orientation can be used to advantage. For example, if they
are renting out a house and don’t want the rent to be late, they can
tell the tenants what they do want: “I’ll do everything I can to make
your living here enjoyable; the only thing I’m inflexible about is
that the rent must reach me by the first of each month. If I don’t
make the bank payments on the first, we’re all in trouble. So I have
to have the rent payment by the first—is that acceptable to you?”
In job situations, if they don’t want the employees to be late or
slack in their duties, they can make an impression by saying: “Look,
we’re all a team here. If we don’t do a good job, the company won’t
make a profit and we’ll all be out of work. This is the structure
we’re going to follow to make sure we achieve our goals so we all
prosper: Everyone comes to work on time (etc.).”
Because in past lives Cancer North Node people were rewarded
for attaining goals with high social status, in this lifetime they may
have a subconscious desire to choose goals that will bring them
prestige rather than ones that are truly the desires of their own
hearts—and this gets them into trouble. In this lifetime they must
redefine what is truly important to them. Their devotion to purpose
is fine, but not if it’s at the expense of their relationships; otherwise,
when they reach the goal they will not be happy. This is why they
need to put their own needs above “performing” for someone else.
It’s time to release their image. Attempting to gain respect through
“role playing” for others costs them their own satisfaction and
emotional well-being.

MANNERISMS
SERIOUSNESS

In this lifetime, Cancer North Node people tend to take
everything very seriously. Because they have carried the “weight of
the world” in past lives, they come into this incarnation feeling like
they’re shouldering grave responsibilities. They are drawn to people
and situations that trigger their powerful urge to take charge, and
they end up feeling totally responsible for the fates of everyone
around them. Even as children, they often take on the responsibility
for the well-being of one of their parents, usually the mother. They
are born “old and serious”—even taking jokes seriously; usually
only later in life do they realize it might be to their advantage to
“lighten up.”
With their serious demeanor, they inadvertently send out an
energy that causes others to think they are unapproachable. Much of
this is due to past lives in which they were unapproachable, and
they continue to subconsciously project that attitude. Now their
manner makes others see them as aloof, “on top of things,” and not
needing or wanting anything from anyone else. However, once you
get past the “keep away” exterior, you find that they are very
vulnerable and down-to-earth. Unfortunately, the people who could
most deeply appreciate Cancer North Nodes for who they really are
can be “put off” by their cool exterior; sometimes Cancer North
Nodes end up attracting social climbers and less genuine folks who
want to manipulate them. Their deepest longing is to feel close to
others with whom they can relate on a genuine level, so it is to their
advantage to recognize and release the aloof attitudes that keep
others at a distance.
These folks are learning to take life—and themselves—less
seriously, but this is not easy. They are attached to the serious
approach, thinking it will help them to accomplish their goals.
Actually, it may surprise them that they get the job done more easily
when they are not so serious. When they lighten up and take a more
playful, open approach to life, it balances their energy and they
actually become much more effective. Others want to “go along”
with them—and they have a lot more fun!

INSENSITIVITY

Owing to past lives of being in authority, Cancer North Node
people are accustomed to taking charge. It was their responsibility
to see that the fields were tilled or that the business was successful,
and others depended on their ability to reach the goal to ensure
everyone’s survival. Therefore, they tend to rise to positions of
authority, see how to achieve the goal, and then delegate tasks to
others without always taking the time to explain the importance of
everyone’s role.
These folks often are so focused on reaching the goal that they
forget that true success is based on more than just running
promotions or bringing in accounts. The people who are helping
them can’t be treated like objects. Cancer North Nodes must take
the time to understand the other person’s situation and forge an
emotional connection. The other person will support their goals if
they have taken the time to show interest in that person. For
example, rather than chastising an employee for being late, it would
be to their advantage to ask what’s going on at home—is something
causing the employee to be repeatedly late? They have to
continuously remember to put themselves in the other person’s
place and treat the other with sensitivity, the way they would like to
be treated themselves.
Cancer North Node people hate to look as if they’re not “on top”
of everything, but they often feel inept at handling emotional upsets.
They discount the importance of feelings, viewing them as a
distraction from getting the job done. When their own moods
interfere with achieving practical results, they judge themselves
harshly. When other people’s problems interfere with getting the job
done, they may judge them harshly as well. This makes them seem
uncaring and makes it difficult for others to relate to them.
Sometimes Cancer North Node people respond to their frustration
at not knowing how to handle people by “blowing up”—which
overpowers and invalidates the feelings of everyone involved.
Others become afraid to be themselves around these folks, because
people never know what might trigger Cancer North Nodes’ anger.
Others “walk on eggshells” until Cancer North Nodes can learn how
to relate to people’s feelings in new ways. These natives are
discovering that all they need do is recognize and acknowledge the
emotional upsets of others, in a caring way, and they will have
healed the problem. Then they can help refocus the other person on
the task at hand.
Cancer North Node people lack consistency in their sensitivity to
feelings—their own and others’: They are either hypersensitive or
utterly insensitive. If they are conscious of emotional rapport with
others on a more consistent basis, they will be less likely to speak or
act in ways that hurt others’ feelings and thus avoid situations that
ultimately hurt their own feelings. They are learning to integrate a
consistent awareness of feelings with the rest of their personality.